Can't Resist a Cowboy (14 page)

Going into his office, he rummaged around in the papers scattered across his desk. He had an email printed somewhere from the therapy center that Darren needed to see. Maybe bringing him business stuff would keep the elder rancher busy long enough that Levi could have some time with Carrie.

Finding the packet for the therapy center, he pulled out the stack of papers, flipping through them to see if the email was inside. A small pamphlet plopped out, upside down. Ignoring it, he continued…until the word “diabetic” caught his attention. Glancing at the pamphlet, he dropped the other papers and picked it up. Heart racing, he opened it and scanned the information inside.

No. Shit.

He read it again, slowly, cover to cover, and then picked up the phone. Four in the morning or not, he’d leave a message and call again if he didn’t hear back by breakfast. This couldn’t wait.

Chapter Twenty-Two

“You’re sure about this?”

“I’m fine. My sugar is good and I feel great, Dad. It’s a good time.”

Forty-eight hours had passed since she’d had the low, but her body had recovered and she felt more energetic than she had in days. Plus, the weather was great with just enough cloud cover to make the four-hour drive easier on her eyes. She tried not to think that this might be the last time she drove herself to and from Agate Falls, and truthfully, she had no idea how long it would take until she was ready to come back. The longer she delayed leaving, the harder it would be.

“You don’t want to stay for the wedding?” Her dad’s face was heavy with worry and she hated making him feel that way. Shaking her head, she pulled away and glanced at her bags sitting near the kitchen door.

“I can’t, Dad.” She always missed this place for days after a visit. Sometimes the longing was so bad, it seemed like she was leaving home for the first time all over again. Her heart was here, even if she couldn’t be physically, and despite the heartache, she was grateful to have had more time here, and with Levi. Unexpected, but so damn sweet, their reunion had taken her through the gamut of emotions. What they’d shared was rich and real, and a testament to the connection people make over time, even if it’s not meant for long.

It couldn’t be more, not when she was this afraid. Her body was unpredictable and all the love in the world couldn’t change that. Her father made a deep, grumbly sound as if he’d been debating with himself and somehow lost. “I just wish things could be different for you.”

Her face went tingly, her eyes and nose starting to sting. Holding back tears, she swallowed hard and nodded. “Me, too.”

“What about Levi?”

The question stunned her a bit. “What about him?”

“Look, Carrie,” he said, looking to the ground. “I know I was pretty hard on him about you staying. I shouldn’t have been. Levi—”

“Dad—”

“Levi is a good man. I don’t doubt there’s nothing that boy wouldn’t do to help you stay here. If it’s what you wanted.”

Looping an arm around her dad’s neck, she hugged him again, needing the physical contact but also hoping it would end the conversation. She didn’t have it in her to go there anymore.

“You give Maeve and Jim my love. The little stained glass piece I found for them is wrapped up on the living room table.” With that, she moved to grab her bags; he beat her to it and walked out to her truck, seeming resigned. Going around to the passenger side, he put her bags in the front seat, then checked his watch. “Not quite noon. You’ll get home by suppertime.”

“I’ll call as soon as I get there.” She opened the door but lacked enthusiasm about getting in. Putting on her sunglasses, Carrie pushed down the heaviness inside her. A part of her wanted to say good-bye to Levi, but after what she’d said to him, it was probably best not to. Why prolong a fantasy that would never be real? Kicking the gravel at her feet, she hitched a thumb toward the house. “You better go wash up for that wedding.”

Darren shut the passenger door and tipped his hat as he came around. “Love you, girlie,” he called as he headed to the house, leaving her standing there to absorb the sounds and take in the air and one last view. She was just about to slip into the truck when the sound of racing tires over spitting gravel pulled her attention. Levi’s truck barreled down the drive and came to a sliding halt beside hers. He’d barely parked before jumping out. He wore a white dress shirt, mostly unbuttoned and rolled at the elbow, dark blue pants with a red stripe going down the outside of each leg, and shiny black shoes—a half-dressed marine.

Her mouth fell a little. She’d never seen him in uniform, and even this partial peek made her breath catch.

“Carrie.” His hair was slicked back, shimmery in the light as if it were wet and making her long to touch it. He came around the front of her truck and she kept the door between them, not consciously, though when she realized it, she let it slide. The more separation the better. It would be too easy to find herself in those arms.

“I’m on my way out.”

“Give me five minutes. That’s all I have before Cole hunts me down. I had to slip out when his back was turned.”

She smiled reluctantly, imaging the older Haywoods trying to keep Levi in line. “You’d better get back. It’s almost time for the wedding.”

“I don’t care.” He moved around the door, his gaze hot and intense, and reached for her. “Please don’t go.”

“Levi, don’t.”

“I won’t beg. I might want to, but I won’t.”

“I’m not asking you to—”

“Damn it, Carrie. You’re all I think about. Let me show you that we can make this work.” He held an envelope out to her, and though she itched to take it, she didn’t. Hope was false. Hadn’t that been proven the other day? Going back to her safe little cocoon in Wyoming was better for everyone.

“It can’t.”

He grimaced, frustration etched in the lines by his eyes. “You want me to tell you that it’s too hard? That you’re not worth it, Carrie? Is that what you want me to say? Because those words will never come out of my mouth.” He caught her wrist and with one tug, brought her up against his chest. Despair spread to near-panic level. She had to leave. Now. “Please don’t tell me I’m losing you. Damn it, I let you go once. I won’t do it again.”

The need to hold him was suffocating. Finding strength, Carrie backed up and freed herself from his grip “You don’t have to, Levi. I’m letting
you
go.”

His chest rose and fell rapidly, the shirt dipping into the muscles of his abdomen, teasing her. The purity of his honor, of his character and the deeply rooted way he wanted to care for her, teased her more. What kind of idiot let go of a love like that?

With a little shake of his head, Levi stepped back and looked at the ground. She did, too, noticing that a smudge of dirt had dulled the sheen of his shoe tips; a fine layer of dust settled over the hem of his perfectly pressed pants.

Spinning on her heel, she walked toward the house, feeling his gaze on her, forcing her body to obey. She hadn’t even made it to the porch when she heard his truck back up, turn and pull away. Covering her mouth with a palm, Carrie stood there for long minutes until the quakes going through her body stopped enough that she could walk back to the truck.

It was done.

The rain was so heavy Carrie could barely see out the windshield. She’d just made it past Greenbrook when the storm started to trickle in. Forty-five minutes later and it was pouring and interfering with her ability to safely see the road. Frustrated and pissed off, she was forced to pull into a small town just off the highway. Finding a café, she parked and sat in the truck for a while, not really in the mood to be in public, but not wanting to be cooped up in her vehicle, either.

She wanted Montana behind her and these past ten days as far away as possible. Each mile had brought Levi’s image to mind, how he looked in that half-dressed uniform, the sincerity and hurt on his face. Why did she have to love him so much?

The plop of rain on the cab roof reminded her of spending the night on his couch, wrapped in his arms and inhaling his scent of whiskey, aftershave, and sexy man. With a groan, Carrie hit the steering wheel with her palm. She wasn’t one to feel sorry for herself, but damn it, her medical bullshit had robbed so much from her life. Always on the fringe of independence, having to rely on others just in case.

Why couldn’t she just have the life she wanted? Carrie glanced in the rearview mirror. She almost didn’t recognize herself—her eyes dull, mascara smeared from the crying stint she’d had on the way. The hard line of her mouth didn’t quite prevent her lower lip from trembling, or the ache in her throat from going away.

She wiped at her smeared eyeliner, then rummaged around on the passenger seat for her wallet. She had a pile of stuff tossed there, a sweater and a blanket, water bottle, an extra bag of insulin. Reaching under the sweater, she touched paper that she didn’t recall putting there. A manila envelope. Carrie pulled it out from beneath the pile, the neatly scrawled handwriting dark against the paper.

I’ll never stop waiting for you.

Oh, God. It was the envelope Levi had tried to give her earlier. He must have tossed it inside when she’d gone up to the house. Clutching it to her chest, she put her wallet and keys in her pocket and dashed from the truck to the café. It was nearly empty, a lone waitress making her rounds of the few occupied tables. Taking a seat by the window, Carrie lay the envelope down with shaking hands.

“Wet enough for ya?”

No, no, no small talk. She didn’t have the patience for it right now, not when she was tied up in knots. Carrie smiled at the waitress and made a noncommittal sound. “Diet Coke, please,” she said. “And, I don’t know… Pie?” Something with sugar in it. She was being a rebel because feelings. At least she wouldn’t have to worry about her blood sugar taking a dive with a big slice of pie in her belly.

“Cherry, apple—”

“Cherry. Thanks.”

Alone again, she flipped over the envelope, finding no outward indication of what was inside. She put it right side up again, running her finger back and forth over Levi’s handwriting. The vent at her feet kicked on and blew hot air up her legs. Shrugging out of her sweater, she stared at the packet as if she could see straight through it. Chiding herself for being stubborn, she opened the top and pulled out the contents.

Three sheets of paper, the first glossy with a picture of a golden retriever puppy being held in mysterious arms. The dog wore a red collar with a heart logo on it with the outline of a dog’s face embroidered inside. She scanned the page, finding handwriting beneath the image that looked suspiciously like Levi’s as well.

This is Bo. In six months, he’ll be a certified diabetic assist dog. He’s specially trained to recognize impending low blood sugar by the smell of your breath, and warn you that you need to take some sugar.

She flipped to the next page where another image of Bo, playfully lying in the grass with an orange vest on, came into view.

Bo has been reserved for you.

The last page had pictures of a therapy center not unlike the one Levi proposed for Agate Falls. Mind spinning, she looked closer, realizing it was the main center in California that wanted to open in Montana. The description below stated they weren’t just a therapeutic riding center, but also a training center for medical assist dogs. On the side of the page, two printed tickets were stapled. She pulled them off.

Airline tickets, flying into LAX.

If you’re willing, Bo and his trainers would like to meet you so they can show you what’s possible. And if the time comes to find a way through the darkness, we will. Start a new life with me, Sunshine.

Another line was scribbled underneath, as if he’d added it last minute…maybe right before he’d thrown the envelope in the truck.

Come home, Carrie Lynn.

“Gurrrl!” The waitress’s voice startled Carrie into dropping the papers. “I don’t know who that boy is, but
I
want to go home to him.” She set down the pie and soda with a sheepish grin. “Sorry, couldn’t help but see.”

Speechless, Carrie just shook her head and carefully gathered up the papers. The waitress sat across from her, arms folded, big golden earrings swinging. “What are you going to do?”

“I’m… I’m…”

She’d never heard of a diabetic assist dog, but somehow Levi had. Possibilities. Hadn’t he said they’d find the possibilities? Fear had always been her biggest obstacle between what was and the possibility of what could be. Levi in his uniform this morning was a reminder that chances were meant to be taken and opportunities grabbed. If he hadn’t done those things for himself, he’d still be lying in a hospital bed, existing instead of living.

The waitress leaned closer, eyes wide and lips parted in anticipation. “What? What are you going to do?”

Carrie hugged the papers to her chest and looked out the window, watched water droplets slide down the glass. “I’m going to wait out the rain.”

Chapter Twenty-Three

Levi hated that he wanted this wedding over with, but he wanted this wedding over with. The sooner he could shed his military dress uniform, the better. He was antsy as hell, could barely keep his mind on anything except Carrie. As soon as this was over, he was heading to Wyoming.

He’d resolved to take the high road, to make his gesture and sit back and wait. Yeah, that had lasted less than four hours. There’d be no more damn waiting. Thanks to the weather, the wedding had been seriously delayed as the outdoor seating and decorations had been moved to the indoor arena. The guests had been well supplied with whiskey and drinks to tide them over, and by the time Maeve and Jim finally exchanged vows two hours late, no one seemed to mind having to wait.

And now the thing had turned into one big party inside the arena, and no matter how many times he tried to weasel his way outside, Levi kept getting detained. He was ready to punch someone if it meant getting the hell out of this crowd. Excusing himself as politely as he could from a conversation he’d gotten tangled up in, Levi pulled at the collar of his uniform and started to weave his way through the partygoers.

“Uncle Levi!” He stopped short at the sweet voice, looking down to see Birdie running toward him with a chicken under one arm. The skirt of his niece’s white flower-girl dress was dragging over the sand floor, kicking up a little tornado behind her. “Look, it’s Fred Bologna!” She thrust the rusty red bird at him. On impulse, he took the chicken in both hands and held it away from him. The poor thing had ribbons tied around its neck—Birdie’s hair ribbons, apparently. “And Puff!” She produced a snow-white kitten from under her other arm, wearing a silver-and-blue garter as a collar.

“Um, Birdie, where did you get this?” He streaked a finger over the garter with the sudden image of the little girl stripping it off Grandma’s leg. Frowning, he shook off the image.

“Grandma said, ‘What the heck do I need to wear this thing for?’ and gave it to me.” With that, she turned the way she’d come and darted off with the cat, leaving Levi to spin around after her, holding the chicken at arm’s length and calling after her.

And looking up to see Carrie.

Her mouth fell open at the same time his lips went numb. The slow sweep of her eyes plunged his body into a type of awakening that was slow to reach his brain.

“I have a chicken,” he said. She smiled.

“You, and your chicken, look amazing.”

Catching the elbow of the first guy who passed him, Levi pawned off the bird, ignoring the man’s protest, before taking Carrie’s arm and leading her away. They didn’t get far before the way was blocked by partygoers.

“Carrie—”

“You got me a dog.” He took in her messy hair and wrinkled jeans, old sweater. It seemed much longer than a few hours ago that he’d seen her.

“Yes.”

Someone bumped into her, driving Carrie forward. Levi caught her with one hand, afraid to embrace her. She was tense and he didn’t want to hope, to push. Her hand slid up his arm, gripping the fabric lightly, yet with a desperate edge that seemed like she was hanging on. He cupped her elbow, steadying her and himself.

“I don’t want to be scared. I want to live my life.” The words rushed out of her, urgent but with an excited edge.

Hope broke free and welled up in him. They’d waited so long for this chance. “I want that, too.”

“I’m going to be a lot of work, Levi.”

He pulled her in and her arms went around him, his hands finding her hair and holding her tightly. “Never too much for me.”

“I’m going to have bad days.”

“I still have them. We’ll have them together.”

She pulled back, grabbed him by the middle of the collar, and pulled him down. “Then yes,” she whispered against his lips. A commotion behind him made them turn to see. Cole leading a wobbling Rylan by the elbow as she cupped her pregnant belly with both hands. His brother’s eyes were wide, shocked even, his steps urgently pulling Rylan along. With a disbelieving look, Cole passed Levi with an exuberant, “Her water broke!”

“Cole, slow down! You’re going too fast for her to keep up!” Sophie rushed by next, waving a hand at her brother-in-law, who showed no interest in listening.

“She’d better wait until we get to the hospital to have that baby,” Tucker grumbled as he hurried after his wife. “I do not want to see that mess.”

Sophie tossed her two-toned brown and blond hair as she looked over her shoulder at her husband. “Well, get prepared big boy, ’cause this will be you and me in January.” Carrie and Levi shared a look, Carrie bursting into a smile when Tucker stumbled, nearly falling to one knee.

“Wait. What?” His voice trailed off as the crowd swallowed the group. Glad to have the attention off them, Levi tipped Carrie’s chin and kissed her softly, sweet and slow. Pausing to take a breath, he whispered, “Yes, you will what?”

She paused about long enough to give him a heart attack, her arms slipping around his neck. “Yes, Levi. I’ll stay.”