Captivated (26 page)

“Just like that?” He pressed his lips to her brow, her cheeks. “You don’t want to maybe turn me into a flounder for three or four years?”

“Not for a first offense.” She drew back, praying they could find some light and friendly plane to walk on for a little while. “You’ve had a long trip, and you’re tired. Why don’t we go back in? The wind’s picking up,
and it’s nearly teatime.”

“Morgana.” He held her still. “I said I loved you. I’ve never said that to anyone before. Not to anyone in my life before you. It was hard the first time, but I think it might get easier as we go.”

She looked away again. Her mother would have recognized it as evasion. Nash saw it as dismissal. “You said you loved me.” His voice tightened, and so did his grip.

“Yes, I did.” She met his eyes again. “And I do.”

He gathered her close again to rest his brow on hers. “It feels good,” he said in a wondering voice. “I didn’t know how damn good it would feel to love someone, to have her love me back. We can go from here, Morgana. I know I’m not a prize, and I’ll probably mess up. I’m not used to having someone there for me. Or for being there for someone else. But I’ll give it all I’ve got. That’s a promise.”

She went very still. “What are you saying?”

He stepped back, nervous all over again, and stuck his hands in his pockets. “I’m asking you to marry me. Sort of.”

“Sort of?”

He swore. “Look, I want you to marry me. I’m not doing a good job of asking. If you want to wait until I’ve set the stage, gotten down on one knee with a ring in my pocket, okay. It’s just . . . I love you so much, and I didn’t know I could feel this way, be this way. I want a chance to show you.”

“I don’t need a stage, Nash. And I wish it could be simple.”

His fingers clenched. “You don’t want to marry me.”

“I want a life with you. Oh, yes, I want that very much. But it isn’t only myself you’d be taking.”

For a moment, he was baffled. Then his face cleared with a smile. “You mean your family, and the, ah, Donovan legacy. Babe, you’re everything I want, and more. The fact that the woman I love is a witch just adds some interest to the situation.”

Touched, she lifted a hand to his cheek. “Nash, you’re perfect. Absolutely perfect for me. But it’s not only that you’d be taking on.” Her eyes stayed level on his. “I’m carrying your child.”

His face went utterly blank. “What?”

She didn’t need to repeat it. She watched as he staggered back and dropped onto the rock where she had sat earlier.

He gulped in air before he managed to speak again. “A baby? You’re pregnant? You’re having a child?”

Outwardly calm, she nodded. “That about sums it up.” She gave him a moment to speak. When he didn’t, she forced herself to go on. “You were very clear about not wanting a family, so I realize this changes things, and . . .”

“You knew.” He had to swallow to make his voice rise above the sound of wind and sea. “That day, the last day, you knew. You’d come to tell me.”

“Yes, I knew. I’d come to tell you.”

On unsteady legs, he got up to walk to the verge of the water. He remembered the way she’d looked, the things he’d said. He’d remember for a long time. Was it any wonder she’d left him that way, keeping the secret inside her?

“You think I don’t want the baby?”

Morgana moistened her lips. “I understand you’d have doubts. This wasn’t planned by either of us.” She stopped, appalled. “I didn’t plan it.”

Eyes fierce, he whipped back to her. “I don’t often make the same mistake twice, and certainly not with you. When?”

She folded her hands over her belly. “Before Christmas. The child was conceived that first night, on the spring equinox.”

“Christmas,” he repeated. And thought of a red bike, of cookies baking, of laughter, and a family that had nearly been his. A family that could be his. She was offering something he’d never had, something he’d wished for only in secret.

“You said I was free,” he said carefully. “Free of you, and everything we’d made together. You meant the baby.”

Her eyes darkened, and her voice was strong and beautiful. “This child is loved, is wanted. This child is not a mistake, but a gift. I would rather it be mine alone than to risk that for one instant of its life it would not feel cherished.”

He wasn’t sure he could speak at all, but when he did, the words came straight from the heart. “I want the baby, and you, and everything we made together.”

Through a mist of tears she studied him. “Then you have only to ask.”

He walked back to her, laid his hand over where hers rested. “Give me a chance” was all he said.

Her lips curved when his moved to meet them. “We’ve been waiting for you a long time.”

“I’m going to be a father.” He said it slowly, testingly, then let out a whoop and scooped her off her feet. “We made a baby.”

She threw her arms around his neck and laughed. “Yes.”

“We’re a family.”

“Yes.”

He kissed her long and hard before he began to walk. “If we do a good job with the first, we can have more, right?”

“Absolutely. Where are we going?”

“I’m taking you back and putting you to bed. With me.”

“Sounds like a delightful idea, but you don’t have to carry me.”

“Every bloody step. You’re having a baby. My baby. I can see it. Interior scene, day. A sunny room with pale blue walls.”

“Yellow.”

“Okay. With bright yellow walls. Under the window stands a gleaming antique crib, with one of those funny mobiles hanging over it. There’s a sound of gurgling, and a tiny, pudgy hand lifts up to grab at one of the circling . . .” He stopped, his face whipping around to Morgana’s. “Oh, boy.”

“What? What is it?”

“It just hit me. What are the chances? I mean how likely is it that the baby will, you know, inherit your talent?”

Smiling, she curled a lock of his hair around her finger. “You mean, what are the chances of the baby being a witch? Very high. The Donovan genes are very strong.” Chuckling, she nuzzled his neck. “But I bet she has your eyes.”

“Yeah.” He took another step and found himself grinning. “I bet she does.”

If you liked
Captivated
, look for the other novels in the Donovan Legacy series:
Entranced
,
Charmed
, and
Enchanted
, available as eBooks from InterMix.

June 2000

Elizabeth Fitch’s short-lived teenage rebellion began with L’Oreal Pure Black, a pair of scissors and a fake ID. It ended in blood.

For nearly the whole of her sixteen years, eight months and twenty-one days she’d dutifully followed her mother’s directives. Dr. Susan L. Fitch issued
directives
, not orders. Elizabeth had adhered to the schedules her mother created, ate the meals designed by her mother’s nutritionist and prepared by her mother’s cook, wore the clothes selected by her mother’s personal shopper.

Dr. Susan L. Fitch dressed conservatively, as suited—in her opinion—her position as Chief of Surgery at Chicago’s Silva Memorial Hospital. She expected, and directed, her daughter to do the same.

Elizabeth studied diligently, accepting and excelling in the academic programs her mother outlined. In the fall, she’d return to Harvard in pursuit of her medical degree. So she could become a doctor, like her mother; a surgeon, like her mother.

Elizabeth—never Liz or Lizzie or Beth—spoke fluent Spanish, French, Italian, passable Russian and rudimentary Japanese. She played both piano and violin. She’d traveled to Europe, to Africa. She could name all the bones, nerves and muscles in the human body and play Chopin’s Piano Concerto—both One and Two—by rote.

She’d never been on a date or kissed a boy. She’d never roamed the mall with a pack of girls, attended a slumber party or giggled with friends over pizza or hot fudge sundaes.

She was, at sixteen years, eight months and twenty-one days, a product of her mother’s meticulous and detailed agenda.

That was about to change.

She watched her mother pack. Susan, her rich brown hair already coiled in her signature French twist,
neatly hung another suit in the organized garment bag, then checked off the printout with each day of the week’s medical conference broken into subgroups. The printout included a spreadsheet listing every event, appointment, meeting and meal scheduled with the selected outfit, shoes, bag and accessories.

Designer suits and Italian shoes, of course, Elizabeth thought. One must wear good cut, good cloth. But not one rich or bright color among the blacks, grays, taupes. She wondered how her mother could be so beautiful and deliberately wear the dull.

After two accelerated semesters of college, Elizabeth thought she’d begun—maybe—to develop her own fashion sense. She had, in fact, bought jeans
and
a hoodie
and
some chunky heeled boots in Cambridge.

She’d paid in cash, so the purchase wouldn’t show up on her credit card bill in case her mother or their accountant checked and questioned the items, which were currently hidden in her room.

She’d felt like a different person wearing them, so different that she’d walked straight into a McDonald’s
and ordered her first Big Mac with large fries and a chocolate shake.

The pleasure had been so huge she’d had to go into the bathroom, close herself in a stall and cry a little.

The seeds of the rebellion had been planted that day, she supposed, or maybe they’d always been there, dormant, and the fat and salt had awakened them.

But she could feel them, actually feel them sprouting in her belly now.

“Your plans changed, Mother. It doesn’t follow that mine have to change with them.”

Susan took a moment to precisely place a shoe bag in the pullman, tucking it just so with her beautiful and clever surgeon’s hands, the nails perfectly manicured. A French manicure, as always—no color there either.

“Elizabeth.” Her voice was as polished and calm as her wardrobe. “It took considerable effort to reschedule and have you admitted to the summer program this term. You’ll complete the requirements for your admission into Harvard Medical School a full semester ahead of schedule.”

Even the thought made Elizabeth’s stomach hurt. “I was promised a three-week break, including this next week in New York.”

“And sometimes promises must be broken. If I hadn’t had this coming week off, I couldn’t fill in for Dr.
Dusecki at the conference.”

“You could have said no.”

“That would have been selfish and shortsighted.” Susan brushed at the jacket she’d hung, stepped back to check her list. “You’re certainly mature enough to understand the demands of work overtake pleasure and leisure.”

“If I’m mature enough to understand that, why aren’t I mature enough to make my own decisions? I want this break. I need it.”

Susan barely spared her daughter a glance. “A girl of your age, physical condition and mental acumen hardly
needs
a break from her studies and activities. In addition, Mrs. Laine has already left for her two-week cruise, and I could hardly ask her to postpone her vacation. There’s no one to fix your meals or tend to the house.”

“I can fix my own meals and tend to the house.”

“Elizabeth.” The tone managed to merge clipped with long-suffering. “It’s settled.”

“And I have no say in it? What about developing my independence, being responsible?”

“Independence comes in degrees, as does responsibility and freedom of choice. You still require guidance and direction. Now, I’ve e-mailed you an updated schedule for the coming week and your packet with all the information on the program is on your desk. Be sure to thank Dr. Frisco personally for making room for you in the summer term.”

As she spoke, Susan closed the garment bag, then her small pullman. She stepped to her bureau to check her hair, her lipstick.

“You don’t listen to anything I say.”

In the mirror, Susan’s gaze shifted to her daughter. The first time, Elizabeth thought, her mother had bothered to actually look at her since she’d come into the bedroom. “Of course I do. I heard everything you said, very clearly.”

“Listening’s different than hearing.”

“That may be true, Elizabeth, but we’ve already had this discussion.”

“It’s not a discussion, it’s a decree.”

Susan’s mouth tightened briefly, the only sign of annoyance. When she turned, her eyes were a cool, calm blue. “I’m sorry you feel that way. As your mother, I must do what I believe is best for you.”

“What’s best for me, in your opinion, is for me to do, be, say, think, act, want, become exactly what you decided for me before you inseminated yourself with precisely selected sperm.”

She heard the rise of her own voice but couldn’t control it, felt the hot sting of tears in her eyes but couldn’t stop them. “I’m tired of being your experiment. I’m tired of having every minute of every day organized, orchestrated and choreographed to meet your expectations. I want to make my own choices, buy my own clothes, read books
I
want to read. I want to live my own life instead of yours.”

Susan’s eyebrows lifted in an expression of mild interest. “Well. Your attitude isn’t surprising given your
age, but you’ve picked a very inconvenient time to be defiant and argumentative.”

“Sorry. It wasn’t on the schedule.”

“Sarcasm’s also typical, but it’s unbecoming.” Susan opened her briefcase, checked the contents. “We’ll talk about all this when I get back. I’ll make an appointment with Dr. Bristoe.”

“I don’t need therapy! I need a mother who
listens
, who gives a shit about how I feel.”

“That kind of language only shows a lack of maturity and intellect.”

Enraged, Elizabeth threw up her hands, spun in circles. If she couldn’t be calm and rational like her mother, she’d be
wild
. “Shit! Shit! Shit!”

“And repetition hardly enhances. You have the rest of the weekend to consider your behavior. Your meals are in the refrigerator or freezer, labeled. Your pack list is on your desk. Report to Ms. Vee at the university at eight on Monday morning. Your participation in this program will ensure your place in HMS next fall. Now, take my garment bag downstairs, please. My car will be here any minute.”