Christy: A Journey Tale (13 page)

“Next we went on to the trade crafts, like
blacksmiths, coopers, broom makers, and that sort of stuff. We
spent a lot more time going through these then we had at the other
places. I even tried my hand at a few. I think Jack must have
thought this is where I would fit in the best, but it just wasn’t
right for me. Everything you did had to be just perfect or you
could ruin hours of work. That type of stuff took way too much
patience. Jack seemed a little disappointed when he saw that me and
trade goods just weren’t cut out for each other. Thankfully, he got
over it pretty quick. He could see as plain as day I would never be
as good as I would have to be to do it as a job. At the time I
thought it was just boring, but later on I realized why I was so
bad at it.”

“Why is that?” Jennifer asked.

“The truth is I didn’t love it. I would never
love it at least not the same way those guys did when they were
showing us how they made whatever it was that they were working on.
I didn’t understand that to really be good at something, to stick
with it through thick and thin, you’ve got to love it. Later on,
when I finally understood that, I went back and watched them guys
work and when I saw the look in their eyes I could tell I was
right.

“So you did end up staying?” Jennifer asked,
not sure any longer where Christy was going with her story.

“That’s right,” she said with a mischievous
grin.

“You’re killing me. So what made you want to
stay?”

“Hold on now, this is my story.” Christy said
as she looked at Jennifer for a moment, letting her curiosity
build. “Anyways, from the trade cottages there was really only one
more place to go and that was out into the fields. Farming and
agriculture were hands-down their bread and butter, so to speak.”
Christy said with a grin.

“Oh, that was bad. Did you make that up?”

“Yes I did.”

“I could tell,” Jennifer said, rolling her
eyes.

“So anyways, as we were walking, Suzy started
pointing out what they were planting and where. I pretended to pay
attention as she started naming the different crops and what
experiments they were doing that year and how they were marked. We
even walked through this field where you could still see some of
the corn stalks sticking out of the ground. The field, they told
me, had not been tilled. They would just replant the corn and let
nature do the work for them.” Christy saw that Jennifer’s eyes
beginning to glaze over. She couldn’t help herself from
laughing.

“What?” Jennifer asked looking a little
confused.

“It’s nothing. It’s just that’s how I must
have looked when they started talking to me about the finer points
of no-till. Your daddy was starting to get a little nervous though.
Being as how I was a city girl and all, he didn’t think I would
care too much for the farming. We were getting near the end of the
tour, and I still hadn’t found my place like he had hoped. I think
he was starting to run it all through his mind. The options that
were left weren’t too good. I had told them already that I wasn’t
much for cooking during dinner the night before. So, if this
farming thing didn’t work out, Jack was certainly going to be in a
pickle. Then again what he didn’t know was that I had already made
up my mind to stay. I would just have to tough it out in the
kitchen if by some miracle I didn’t decide this farming was for me.
I tried to warm myself up to the idea and I had gotten myself
convinced enough that I wouldn’t have to lie too awful bad;
besides, your daddy had already done more for me at that point than
anyone else ever had. I wasn’t going to let him down and that was
that. They were going on about corn and conspiracies about genetic
modifications but it all just faded into white noise as I kept
practicing what I would say.”

“How did they take it when you told them you
changed your mind about the kitchen?” Jennifer asked, trying to
hurry her along to the good part. Christy, on the other hand, just
looked at her and smiled. “What?” Jennifer asked not sure what was
so funny about her question.

“I never told them I changed my mind. You
see, it never got to that point.”

“What happened?”

“The barns,” Christy said knowingly.

“The barns?”

“That’s right. The barns were the last stop
on the tour. I knew that’s where we were going because I could
smell them before they ever came into view. Don’t get me wrong
though; I didn’t think it stank. I mean it wasn’t like pigs or
anything like that. It was just a musty type of smell. I had seen
horses out in the field, but at the time I didn’t even think about
it being somebody’s job to take care of them. I was starting to get
a pretty good feeling about this one. I had always thought horses
were cool and I had seen them up close at the county fair, but I
had never ridden one or been to a barn quite like this. They had
over 30 animals at the time, counting horses and mules. A few of
the horses were what you typically think of as riding horses, but
most of them were workhorses and there’s a pretty big difference
between the two.

As we walked through the barn I began to
imagine myself there. I could see myself taking care of them. As we
got down toward the end this guy named Marty was brushing down this
amazing white Belgian mare. Her name was Molly and she was
gigantic. She towered over me and you could see these huge muscles
rippling under her skin. I stood there just gawking at this beast.
Marty looks over at Suzy and I can’t prove it, but I think she
winked at him. After that he smiled and looked at me and asked me
if I wanted to brush her. That was all I needed to hear. I was
beside him in an instant. He could tell I was a little nervous. So,
he told me to relax and he would show me how it was done. I put my
hand on the brush and went down the grain of her skin in long even
strokes. She was so calm. It was like her energy ran through me,
and all of sudden I was completely at peace. After a few passes he
let me do it by myself and from that moment on I was hooked. It was
love at first sight. I didn’t care if they sent me to school for 10
hours a day. As long as I could spend some time with Molly, it
would all be worth it.

“I think they were all kind of amazed at the
fact that when things are meant to be, they just have a way of
working themselves out. Marty had a fancy title, but basically all
it amounted to was: he was in charge of the care and feeding of all
the farm animals. He started showing me the ropes after we got done
brushing Molly, and your daddy left shortly after that. He promised
that he would be around to check on me whenever he was in town. I
thanked him for everything he had done for me. He seemed pretty
pleased with himself when he saw how happy I was and I think it
made them all happy to have another person not only join the
Community, but join their family. That’s what they really were, and
for first time I felt like I had finally come home. I finally had
something to live for; you know, something to care about. I still
had my share of demons, but things were different now. I was
different, and I liked the person I was turning into. I had never
tried to control myself before. When I thought something, I said
it. When I wanted to do something, I did it. That’s how it was back
then, but those days were done. Now, I’ll admit by no stretch of
the imagination did I change overnight. There were a few dust ups
in the beginning; I can’t deny that. But to their credit them folks
sure did give me a lot of rope. I guess they figured I’d need a
little while to adjust, and they had enough patience to give me the
time I needed to…well, to stop being such a brat,” Christy said as
she struggled for an adjective that could adequately describe her
behavior, but even that did little to express her own feelings
about herself. “In the end I kept working hard on listening to the
angel on my shoulder instead all of the other distractions I had
focused on before. I wanted to be the person Jack thought I could
be.” She thought about her own life and what she had done since
then. Talking about it now only made her regrets cut that much
deeper. In her own mind as she listened to herself she knew that
she had come full circle. She was the same now as she had been so
long ago when she met him. She could feel the tears like magma
burning their way to the surface. She willed the feeling back down
into her gut just before it was too late. “They always said them
horses were the best choice I probably could have made. In learning
to care of them I began to understand what it meant to take care of
myself. The food helped, of course. All those veggie meals sure did
clean me out. I felt healthier and had more energy than I ever had
before. It also helped that the one thing I didn’t have was all the
temptation. To be honest, I didn’t miss the booze, but the smokes
were a different story. I’ll tell you right now if I had run away
from that place the single biggest reason would have been to score
some smokes.”

“You were 15,” Jennifer said a little
incredulous.

“That don’t mean nothing. I was always around
people who smoked; so when you’re around it, things tend to come
your way. I never said I bought them, but that certainly never
affected my ability to get them. It was that easy, but what wasn’t
easy was going cold turkey. Oh my goodness, kicking the habit was
one of the hardest things I think I’ve ever done.”

“I’ve heard other people talk about how hard
it is. How did you get through it?”

“Stubborn…I reckon that would be the easiest
way to describe it. No one there was going to get them for me and I
had made up my mind that I wasn’t leaving, so that left very little
choice in the matter. The first couple of weeks were the hardest,
of course, but after that the pain and nerves started to ease up a
bit. Then after a month or so, I was starting to feel normal again.
Now, that doesn’t mean I didn’t crave one. I’m telling you right
now every so often when the mood hit me right, I could just taste
it. As quick as could be I was right back Jonesing for one like I
did when I first quit, but thankfully those episodes didn’t last
too long. On the other hand, I always figured that if I left I
wouldn’t be able to resist that or anything else.” Christy paused
for a moment. Jennifer could tell what she was thinking and it was
difficult to watch. She wanted to say something encouraging and
supportive, but by the time she finally had the nerve. Christy had
already swallowed the pain back down. “So, to make a long story a
little less long, life was pretty good on the farm. I had cleaned
up, I was eating right, I was going to school, and most important
to me I was working every day with the animals. It was fantastic.
It was probably – no, not probably – it was the best time of my
life. My baby was healthy too and growing like a weed in my belly.
After about the first two months, time really began to slow down,
almost to the point like it didn’t even matter anymore. I don’t
know how else to describe it. I guess I fell into a routine where
one day was pretty much just like any other day. The seasons
changed and there were different things that had to be done at
different times in the fields. That was all that marked the
difference between one month and another. My belly kept getting
bigger though and I had to eventually wear those crazy dresses or
sweat pants. I’m telling you nothing fits right when you’re
pregnant, but when I felt my baby move for the first time it made
it all seem worth it. That was when my pregnancy finally became
real to me. I was going to be a momma, and that made the whole
world seem brighter. Oh yes, life was definitely good on the farm.”
Christy smiled as memories of those times came back to her like
flipping through the pages of an old photo book that you hadn’t
seen in years. “Another thing that always brightened my spirits was
a visit from Jack. He was always as good as his word: when he said
he would be back as often as he could. He meant it. Even though
deep down I knew he wasn’t there just for me, it was still nice to
see him. He was really there for business, but at first I didn’t
understand what business he could possibly be doing with them. I
know it sounds strange, but that one piece of him that just didn’t
seem to fit. I mean my experience with business up to that point
was always something illegal. I even would lie awake some nights
and wonder how odd it was that your daddy was so close to the
people there when he was so different from them. I talked a lot
with him. I knew how strongly he believed in his faith and how
conservative his opinions were. Some folks avoid talkin’ about
religion and politics, but he never shied away from them one bit
when he spoke to me. The more I got to know him, the more I just
couldn’t see how he had anything in common with them at all. One
day, and I mean it was a beautiful day toward the end of summer. He
came round to check on me. It was always a treat to see him and we
went for a walk through one of the pastures just like we normally
did. I’ve always been outspoken; being at the Community didn’t
change that in the least. It was on my mind so I decided to bring
it up.”

“Jack, let me ask you a question.”

“Ok, go right ahead.”

“I appreciate all you’ve done for me and I
hope you don’t mind me asking, but how did you get to know these
folks here so well? I’m not trying to be rude or anything, I’m just
curious. As far as I can tell you’re nothing like them, and it just
don’t make any sense how ya’ll can be such big buddies. You say
you’re here for business, but I don’t see you leave with anything
and they sure as heck don’t buy anything you sell.”

“Well, that’s a good point, but how do you
know they’re not buying what I sell?” Christy just looked at him
like he had a third eye or something.

“Um, because you sell bathroom sanitizers or
something like that and they don’t use that stuff. That’s what I
mean. They ain’t buying what you’re selling.” Christy said,
exaggerating the last sentence in her frustration.