Crossroads (18 page)

A shrill cry from a nearby child jolts me awake.  For a moment I forget where I am, but then my eyes focus on the sleeping beauty beside me.  Her head is tilted in my direction, a contented look on her peaceful face.  I almost reach over to brush the loose strands of hair from her cheek, but I stop myself, I don’t want to wake her.  So that’s how I lie, for I don’t know how long, just resting my head on my folded arms staring at Em.

Eventually her eyes blink awake and she catches me watching her.

“Hey.”  She smiles.

“Hey.”
  I smile back.

We continue to look at one another in silence.  My fingers
again twitch to reach over to her, to touch her, but I don’t want to break our connection, so I lay perfectly still.

“So, I’m about ready to get out of here,” she says, finally.  Then she bites her lip and looks at me in a way that I am beginning to understand.

“You are a bad, bad girl.”

She smirks at me and rolls onto her back, stretching her arms above her head with her eyes closed to block out the bright sun.  I climb on top of her and she willingly opens her legs for me
, bringing her arms back down and around my neck.

“Sex kitten.”

“Nick!” she admonishes, opening her eyes wide.

“It’s true,” I chuckle
, and she smiles.  “You are full of surprises.  I’m still in shock you chucked a sickie!”

“I know
- I never do that.  I feel a little guilty, but I’m glad I did it.”

“Me too.”
  I give her a soft kiss on the lips.  “And I’m particularly glad that you bought this bikini.”  I flick the string on her shoulder, my eyes making their way down to her barely covered breasts.  “Yes, I think we should go home.  There are things I would like to do to you that I don’t think the kiddies or their parents’ would appreciate witnessing.”

We both glance around then and
I realise the beach is a lot more crowded than it was earlier.  I guess school has let out for the day.

I reluctantly close my car door on Nick, who is standing in my driveway.  After spending the afternoon at the beach and the last hour or so with him in my bed, the last thing I am in the mood for is dinner with my parents.  But I realise it is a good excuse to have some time apart from Nick, give us both a moment to breathe, which at this point in time, we both need.  Today has been a day of declarations and revelations, our relationship has been eternally altered.  And now, he is going back to his house to get his belongings so he can move in with me. 
Move in with me!  I must be insane!
 

I
watch Nick climb into his car that is parked beside mine, and I give him a wave as he backs out the driveway.  Starting my own car, I shake my head and smile.  This really has been the best day ever.

I drive the short distance to my parents’ house and by the time I get there my cheeks are hurting from the smile that is still plastered on my face.

“Hey baby girl!  Good to see you,” Dad says, giving me a hug when I enter the kitchen.

“Hey Dad.”
  I squeeze him back and then we both take a seat at the dining table.  Mum comes in from the hallway.

“So did
Dad tell you we’re having a barbie tonight?” she asks, taking a seat beside me.  “I’m off the hook.  And yes, Brian, that is a hint, it’s time you got started.”

“Alright, alright,” Dad says
, standing from the chair he only just sat in.  “Bossy woman - your mum!” he adds, with a wink at me.  Mum swats him on the backside.  I can’t help but laugh at the two of them.

“So I invited Jake for dinner tonight,” Mum says
, leaning towards me, eyebrows raised.  I reach for a peanut from the bowl of mixed nuts on the table, and pop it in my mouth.  Chewing as I nod.  “You know he’s still not seeing anyone.”

“So?”  I try not to show her any interest, but underneath I am getting annoyed at her for trying to set me up with Kat’s brother,
again
.  She has tried to do that a couple of times lately, even though I have told her like a million times, I see Jake as a brother and it’s never going to happen.

“Where’s Ethan?” I ask, trying to change the subject.

“He’s on a date.”  And I fail, subject still about dating.  “He’s started seeing someone and he won’t tell me who it is!” 
Gee I wonder why!
  “It’s about time you started seeing someone again too, you know.”

“I have,” I blurt out, without even thinking.  I cringe when I realise how stupid a move that was.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my mother
, we’re close and I would normally talk to her about this stuff.  But this thing with Nick, it’s kind of sacred, I don’t want to share.  And Mum will have a conniption if she finds out I’ve asked him to move in with me.

“Ooh
, tell me, tell me,” her eyes light up and she clasps her hands under her chin.  “What’s his name?  Where did you meet him?”  I hesitate for a moment, before answering, wondering how much I should tell her exactly.  As usual, I figure honesty is the best policy.

I feel my cheeks stretching into yet another smile just thinking about him. 
“His name is Nick-”

“Hey Em!
  Hello Anna,” Jake says, coming in the back door behind us.  He leans down and gives Mum a kiss on the cheek, “thanks for inviting me.”

“Anytime Jake, glad you could make i
t,” Mum smiles at him sweetly.

He turns in my direction and plants a kiss on my cheek too.

“Hi Jake.”

He takes a seat opposite us, reaching for a handful of nuts from the bowl.

“So what are you two talking about?” he asks.

“Well Em, was just about to tell me about the new guy she’s seeing.”

“Oh really?”  Jake raises his eyebrows and throws some nuts in his mouth.

“Yes, his name is Nick,
” Mum says.

“Nick?”  Jake almost chokes on those nuts.  “As in
DJ Nick?” he asks me.

“Yes.”  I blush
self-consciously, remembering that the two of them have met on a couple of occasions now.

“You mean the DJ from Ethan’s party?” Mum asks.  Looking back at Jake she adds, “Didn’t you two have an altercation?  I’m not sure if that’s the kind of guy-”

Jake stops Mum from speaking by holding up his hand, “No Anna, he’s cool.  We just had a misunderstanding.”

Mum turns to me but I’m still too busy staring at Jake.  He gives me a wink and a smile, his approval.  I sigh with relief, not that it would have changed anything between Nick and I, but Jake is like a big brother to me
so I value his opinion.  He has also just saved me from my mother.

“So is it serious?”
Mum asks, drawing my attention back to her.  I only smile and nod, because, well, what else can I do?  “You should have invited him to dinner.  Maybe next week, yeah?”

“Sure,” I reply, knowing that next week’s dinner will be probably the only chance my family will get to see Nick
… before he leaves.  I swallow the lump in my throat.  “Do you want a hand with anything?” I ask, when Mum stands and walks into the kitchen.

“No love, you and Jake just relax and catch up.”

“Do you want a beer?” I ask Jake who nods, his mouth filled with another handful of nuts.  I go to the fridge to grab us both a drink, then hand him one.

“Cheers.  You
wanna step outside?”  Jake stands up and nods towards the back door.

“Sure.”
  I catch Mum’s eye on my way out and she has a look of encouragement on her face, as if to say, go for it. 
Did she not just hear that I’m with Nick?  Can’t believe she keeps trying to set me up with Jake.

“So you and Nick, huh?”
Jake asks, stopping purposefully out of earshot of both of my parents.  We are standing halfway between the back door and the barbeque, where Dad is cooking dinner.  “You two finally sort things out?”  I watch Jake take a swig of his beer before answering with a nod.  I wonder just how much he knows.  Maybe Kat has said something to him.  I vaguely remember Nick and Jake chatting to one another at my birthday drinks a while back.  “Yeah, he seems like a nice enough guy, but you be careful Em, I’m not sure he’s the one woman type.”

“It doesn’t matter, he’s leaving to go overseas the weekend after next, so he’ll be free to do whatever he likes,” I say bitterly, surprised at just
how quick my mood can change.

After everything that has
happened these past few days, I know Nick
has
turned into that ‘one woman type’ but at the same time our relationship has an expiry date and after that… well, he is a free agent.  It’s depressing and not something I want to dwell on, so I turn my attentions to something else.

“Oh, do you know who the mystery girl is
?  Who is Ethan with tonight?”

“Ethan’s on a date?” Jake shakes his head, “No, he hasn’t mentioned anything to me.  But then, I haven’t seen him for about a week so…”

“Jake!  I didn’t see you there!”  Dad bellows from beneath a cloud of smoke, and we both take a few steps in his direction.  When my eyes start burning, I take a step back.  Dad has a nasty habit of cooking until there is not much more than charcoal left to eat.  “How’ve you been mate?  Been working hard?” he asks Jake.

“Yeah
, flat-out actually.”

“Dad, I think the food’s done,” I say.

“Nah, she’ll be right, a couple more minutes, I reckon.”  I take another look at the hotplate and decide I may stick to salad for my dinner.  “Be a sweetheart will you and go get the tray from your Mum?”

“Sure.”  I leave Jake and Dad to talk
and head back to the kitchen, where Mum is already holding the tray out for me.

“He charcoaled it again, didn’t he?”

“Yep.”

“Lucky there is plenty of salad,” she says with a
shake of her head.

I decided a while back that after my trip overseas I was never coming home to live with my parents.  I mean, I’m twenty-six years old for Christ sake.  My brother and sister both left years ago.  The only reason I have stayed here so long is because it was convenient, cheap and I had nowhere better to go.  Now I do have somewhere to go, I cannot pack my bags quick enough.  I’m moving in with my girlfriend - which in itself is a wild idea, one I never saw coming - but the fact I am only going to be there for such a short time makes it even crazier.  I pull my new backpack out of the closet and set about filling it with clothes.

“You know you’ve still got plenty of time to pack
, don’t you?” Mum says from the doorway.

“Hi Ma,” I turn towards her.  “I didn’t see you there.”  She crosses her
arms and leans against the doorframe, watching me expectantly, and waiting for an explanation on why I am christening my new bag so early.  “I’m going to stay with Em for a while, probably until I leave.”

Mum’s eyes go wide and she looks down at the ground for a moment.  I can tell she is disappointed in me.  She’s pretty old school when it comes to these things.  She believes in marr
iage before you live with someone.

“Nicky, what are you doing?”
she asks, finally looking at me.

“Ma, I know you don’t agree with it, marriage first and all that-”

“No, that’s not what I mean.”  She shakes her head and takes a step forward.  “Why are you doing this to her?”  Her angry tone surprises me.

“What?”

“You’re stringing that poor girl along.  You’re heading overseas, for how long?”  She softens her voice, “I like Emma. I don’t want to see her get hurt.” 
She doesn’t want to see Emma get hurt.  What?
  I didn’t realise she thought so highly of her.  It puts a smile on my face, which she quickly drags away when she says, “She is in love with you, my boy and
you
are going to break her heart.”

“You think…
”  I swallow, “you think she’s in love with me?”  Mum just nods.  I stare off at the wall behind her, an even bigger smile than before breaks on my face.  I feel dizzy with the realisation - Mum’s right. “Em’s in love with me,” I state simply and in a bit of a daze.

“Yes Nicky, a mother knows these things.”

“Thanks Ma!”  I give her a kiss on the cheek and turn towards the door so that I can collect my toiletries from the bathroom.

“Nicky
-”

“It will be alright
.  Don’t worry,” I say giving her small shoulder a squeeze.  “Trust me.”

“Well thanks for dinner, I’m gonna head off.”  Jake stands and stretches.  “Night all.”

“Bye
Jake, thanks for coming.”  Mum smiles at him.

“See
ya next time mate!”  Dad says, standing and shaking his hand.

“I’m
gonna get going too, I’ll walk out with you Jake,” I say, collecting my bag from the back of my chair.  “Thanks for tea Mum.”  I give her a peck on the cheek.

“Thanks Mum?  What about me?  I cooked it!” 
Dad jokes, giving me a hug.

“No Dad, you charcoaled it,” I laugh.  “Thanks for the lovely
salad
, Mum.”

“Bring Nick nex
t week won’t you?” Mum asks as I head out the door.

“Okay,” I say with a dismissive wave and shut the door behind me.  I follow Jake, who stops at my car so suddenly I almost bump into him.

“Are you okay, Em?”

“Yeah, why?”

“You seemed distracted at dinner.”

“Oh you know, contemplating life and all that.”
  I smile.  Jake doesn’t move, he continues to watch me thoughtfully.  I walk past him and lean against my car by his side.  A loud car comes hooning down the street and grabs my attention, it sounds just like Nick’s car.  A smile breaks across my face thinking of him.  When the car passes it’s nothing like his, but my smile remains.

“You’re really into him, aren’t you?” Jake asks, snapping me out of my daydream
, with a nudge of his elbow.  “You’ve got that magic faraway look that Kat has sometimes when she’s talking about Luke.”

“I do?”

“Yep.  Just be careful, okay?  If this guy’s leaving, try not to get too caught up.”

“I think it’s too late.”

“I notice you didn’t say anything to your Mum and Dad about Nick going overseas, why do you think that is?  Are you hoping he’ll change his mind?”

“No.
”  I shake my head.  “No he’s going, nothing’s going to change that.  And I don’t know when he’ll be back, if ever.”  Instead of feeling down about it, I force myself to look at the positive - Nick will be at home waiting for me. 
Me.
  “But, you know what?  I’m not going to waste time worrying about that, not anymore.”  I stand up straight, feeling tall and confident, proud of my decision. 
I can do this.

“Good for you Em.”  Jake gives me a hug and we say our goodbyes.

***

I sit in my empty apartment with the TV on, but I’m not watching it, instead I am impatiently
staring past it, waiting for Nick to show.  I have been home from Mum and Dad’s for an hour already.  I know I have no right to be upset but I can’t help it.  For some reason Nick’s not here, I don’t know where he is or when he’s coming over, and I’m worried that maybe he’s not coming at all.  It’s not like we planned on a time or anything, yet I’m starting to get angry with him.  And starting to doubt everything all over again. 
Why do I keep doing this to myself?  What did I expect?  For Nick to be waiting on my doorstop, suitcase in hand? 

Well, yes, I guess I did.

I hear a knock at the door and I rush to open it.  It’s Nick and his hands are empty, he doesn’t have a suitcase. 
He’s changed his mind.

“Hey,
have you been home long?”  He smiles at me and steps forward.  He turns slightly and my eyes catch on a backpack.  I breathe a sigh of relief.

“Yeah, a while.
  Where were you?”

Nick leans in for a kiss but after I speak he pauses, he looks taken aback and I realise it sounded like an accusation.  He walks by me and shrugs his bag off his back.

“I went to Hailey’s and then the gym for a while.”

“Hailey’s?
  So I was here waiting for you and you were with another girl?”  My hands go to my hips and this time I mean the accusatory tone I am using.

“What?  No, you know it’s not like that, Hailey’s a mate, nothing more.”  He carries his bag to my bedroom and comes out a moment later stopping a metre or so in front of me
.  “She wasn’t home anyway.”  He shrugs and I glare at him.  “What?  Oh come on!  I went to visit a friend who wasn’t home, so I went to the gym.  How was I supposed to know you were here and waiting?”  He closes the gap between us and puts his hands on the top of my arms.  The lines beside his eyes crinkle as he peers at me.  “Hey, Em, trust me if I had known, I would have been here.  Okay?”

“Okay.  I’m sorry.”  I let out a sigh and then put my arms around his waist.  “So much has changed
in such a small amount of time… I guess, I worry that it can all go away just as quick.”

His arms tug me closer to him and I revel in the scent of his cologne, relaxing my body into his.

“You have nothing to worry about, Em.  I promise.  I’m not going anywhere, yet.”

Yet.
  That’s the word that scares me the most.