Crossroads (14 page)

I hear laughter when I reach the top of the stairs.  It’s after ten and Em still hasn’t contacted me.  I had this horrible idea that her friends had left and she had gone to bed.  That she had no intention of texting me like she said she would.  She was so distant earlier, when I walked her home - I had thought maybe she was avoiding me.  Relief fills me at the sound of girls having fun.  I’m hoping this means Em is in a better mood.

I knock loudly on the door and when Em opens it, she smil
ing widely.  Her cheeks are flushed and her eyes are glassy like she’s been drinking.

“Em.”

“Nick,” her smile fades and she looks agitated.  “I can’t see you now.  I told you I would text after Kat left.”  She starts to shut the door, but I step forward putting my hand in front of me to stop her.

“Why can’t I come in?”

“Kat and April are here.”

“So?  We’ve all met before.”
  I can’t read the expression on her face.  “You’re - Are you ashamed of me?”

“No!  Of course not
!” she says loudly.  She leans forward and whispers, “I just - they already know about the arrangement, it’s embarrassing to have you all in the same room.”

“Fuck this shit!  I’m coming in!”
  I push the door open wider and step into her apartment.  I can feel the anger rolling off her as I pass. 
Doesn’t she realise that her anger only turns me on?
  It’s not going to deter me from getting what I want.  Not anymore.  She’s no longer going to push me away. I’m going to make sure of it.

I stroll into the lounge room and
I’m greeted by two wide-eyed girls who stop their conversation immediately to stare at me.

“Hello ladies,” I say
, casually taking a seat on one of the arm chairs.

“Hey DJ!”
April says.

“How’s it going Nick?” Kat asks with a smile.

“Never been better,” I reply.  I can feel Em’s eyes boring into me as she walks towards us.  I turn to her and repeat, “Never been better.”  Our eyes meet and silence fills the room.  I can see the anger behind her eyes but I don’t look at her with anything but admiration, and maybe a little humour. 
I do love when she’s riled up.
  The silence continues to stretch around the room and my eyes never leave Em’s.

“Well, I think that’s our cue to leave,”
Kat says eventually, and from the corner of my eye I see her stand.  “April?”

“Huh?”

I look in their direction in time to see Kat give April a tap on the shoulder.  April looks up at her then shakes her head.

“Yeah, you’re right
, I can’t sit here all night and watch these two eye-fuck each other.”

I burst out laughing
.

“It’s turning
me
on,” April says, standing.

I laugh even harder
.  I see Em trying to hide a smile while watching the girls collect their belongings.

“I hope the boys have all gone home when I get there,” Kat says
, heading to the door with April in tow.  “I need some alone time with my husband.”  Em rolls her eyes at that and I laugh louder still.  Kat gives Em a hug at the door then turns to me, “Well, it was… interesting to see you Nick.  Bye.”

“See
ya Kat!” I call out but remain seated.  “Bye April.”

“
Yeah see ya DJ!  Bye Em.”  April gives Em a hug too.  “My sex life sucks,” she mumbles just before Em closes the door behind her.

“You’re friends are great!”
I exclaim.

“They’re embarrassing!”
Em says, walking towards me.  She stops at the back of the couch.  “Nick…”

“What is it Em?” I ask
, not liking the look of apprehension on her face.  I pat my hand on my thigh.  “Come sit with me.”  She slowly and reluctantly takes a seat on my lap.  I put my arms around her and inhale.  “Talk to me.”

“We had a great weekend.  I had a fantastic time.  But
Nick… maybe that’s all it should be.”

I squeeze my eyes shut for a moment, trying to bury my anger
.  She is trying, yet again, to push me away.

“
Why?
” he asks with a strained voice, his eyes opening and focusing fiercely on mine.

“You’
re about to head off on the adventure of a life time.  I know that, I’m not asking you for anything, I-”

He stops
me from talking by covering my mouth with his hand.

“I no longer want to listen to you make excuses.  I want to make the most of this time together.  I don’t want you to think about it.  I just wan
t you to be with me.”

I mumble
a “but” against his hand but he doesn’t move it away.

“No buts, just nod,
” he commands, his eyes full of heat, passion and maybe even a little bit of anger.

I nod
slowly, my eyes focused on his beautiful pale blue ones and he finally moves his hand from my mouth, he slides it down until it’s firmly supporting the side of my neck.  He pulls me to his mouth, our lips connect and he thrusts his tongue into mine.  My body responds instantly and I don’t have the willpower to stop it.  My hands thread through his hair and his hands pull me closer.
I’m done fighting him, done fighting this.
  A moan escapes my mouth when his hand glides along the top of my thigh and squeezes.

H
is arm moves to below my legs and he lifts me up, standing from the chair.  Carrying me in his arms, our mouths remain connected, and he walks towards the bedroom.  I can’t fight him, not when he behaves so powerfully sexy and dominant like this.
  I need him too much.

He gracefully and carefully lies me down on the bed a
nd his body covers mine.  He kisses me slowly and passionately and it consumes me, shutting off all thoughts.

***

“You blow me away!” Nick says moments after he climaxes.

“Gee, so glad to be of service!” I exclaim, rolling my eyes at him.  He withdraws and rolls
onto his side next to me.

“Why do you say things like that?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t mean anything by it.”

“Yes you did!” Nick says, shaking his head with a look of disappointment.  “Why don’t you just get it into your head already?  Sex with you is…
it’s not just about the sex though… Em… I feel whole when we are together.”  He pauses and places our joined hands on his chest, over his heart.  “I feel it here.”  He speaks softly and my heart melts.

Wow, that’s almost a declaration of love! 
But Nick doesn’t do love…

“Being with you is like nothing I’ve ever experienced before.”

Well, I can’t argue with that.  I feel the same way.  I was fooling myself to ever think being with Nick would be anything less.  When I think about it I realise I have always felt a special connection to him.  Even though I thought we could be friends, I think deep down I always knew things would be like this.  That being with Nick would change my life.

Maybe that’s why I
keep pushing him away so much - I’m scared of my own feelings.  With good reason too, Nick cannot give me what I want, he won’t give me the future that I need.  But I do know that whatever happens, I want Nick however I can have him, for as long as I can… and time is running out.  I raise my head from his chest and kiss the hand that is holding mine.

She kisses my hand and then looks away from me.  How did this conversation even start?  This is not what I wanted to say to her.  I wanted to declare my undying love to her.  I want to change my plans for her.  I just want her.

All of her.

My words aren’t coming out right.  Taking a deep breath I try again.

“Em?”
  It almost comes out as a squeak.  I put my hand under her chin and lift her face towards me.  “Look at me.”  She eventually gazes into my eyes.  “You are incredible.  You’re beautiful and sweet… and funny.  You have such a kind heart and a great sense of humour… you are my best friend.”  There’s that word again. 
Why do I keep saying that?
  She is so much more than that. She closes her eyes briefly.  “Hey.”  I cup her face with both hands forcing her to look me in the eye again.  “I’m not finished… you are sexy as hell and you are wicked in bed, don’t ever doubt that.  I don’t want you to say shit like that ever again.  Understood?”

“
Okay,” she whispers locking eyes with me.  I feel so much love for her right in this moment that I find it difficult to breathe.  “I really don’t know why I said it.”

I do
.  It’s because she thinks I am “Mr. Experienced.”  Because only two guys prior to me have been lucky enough to have her, she feels inadequate.  I decide I need to change the subject - I don’t want her to think any more about it.  For the first time in my life I am one-hundred per cent ashamed of my past.

“So you think Kat and Luke are going at it right now?”
I ask her.

“
Nick!
”  Her smile lights up the room and she slaps me on the chest.

“What?  That’s what she was saying when she left!
”  I laugh.  “I can see why the two of you are friends.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”
she asks, slightly amused.

“Just,
she’s a pretty cool chick and you’ve got good taste in friends.”

“
Huh.  I can’t believe that comment April made about ‘eye-fucking’!  That was so over the top!”

“No it wasn’t.  I was totally eye-fucking you.” 
Em’s eyes go wide and her cheeks go red.  I roll her onto her back and lie across her.  “Admit it you were doing the same.”

“I was not!”  She giggles
, her cheeks get even redder.

“Yes you were.  You totally wanted me.”  I run my tongue along the side of her neck and then tug on her ear lobe with my teeth causing her to
gasp.  “You want me right now too.”

“Nope.
” She moves her head to the side, offering herself to me so I can nuzzle in even closer.

“Do too,” I whisper in her ear.

“Do not,” she argues back, unconvincingly.

“Really?”
  I pull back to look at her and give her a smile.  “So you want me to stop?  You don’t want me to do this?”  I run my hand from above her head on the pillow down to her breast, cupping her gently.  I run my thumb over her nipple and she moans.  “Or this?”  I lower my head to take that nipple into my mouth.  “How about this?”  I grind my hips into hers and we both moan.  She threads her fingers through my hair and pulls my head back to her mouth forcefully.  I chuckle against her lips.  “Oh yeah, you want me.”

“Shut up and kiss me!” she demands, so of course I do as I’m told.

But I’ve got news for her - I intend to do a lot more than just kiss.

“Em,” Nick whispers and I feel it tickle my ear.  A warm kiss on my neck wakes me more.

“
Mmm,” my arms reach over to hold him and I feel clothing on his back. 
But he was naked just a moment ago.
  I blink my eyes open to find that Nick is no longer in bed with me, but instead leaning over the side, fully dressed.  “You’re leaving?”

“I’ve got to get to work.”

“What time is it?”

“
It’s 5:30, time for me to go to work,” he repeats.

“Oh
,” I feel myself instantly relax.  I hadn’t realised it was morning.  It doesn’t feel like I’ve been asleep for long and I was panicking at the thought of him leaving just because it was his usual MO.  “That’s alright then.” 

“Is that so?” he lightly snickers before again nuzzling my neck.

“Mmm.”  I move my head so that he has better access.

“If you keep making sounds like that I won’t be able to leave,” he says
.  He pulls back leaving my neck instantly cold.  “Go back to sleep.  I’ll see you later.”  He leans down and gives me a kiss on the forehead and I feel myself already drifting off, with a smile on my face.

It
seems like only seconds later my alarm is screaming.  I reach over to hit snooze but accidentally get the off button instead.  Groaning, I sit up in bed, knowing that if I don’t get up right now I will be back asleep in seconds with no alarm to re-wake me.  I am so tired, I can barely keep my eyes open.  It is a quarter past seven, the same time my alarm goes off every day, but today it seems way too early. 
That’s because you didn’t sleep much last night.
  A smile breaks across my face and I lightly run my finger across my lips, the lips that were kissed so much by Nick’s last night.  My legs feel shaky when I stand. 
No, not much sleep at all.
  I flop back on the bed that still smells of his cologne and I sigh with happiness.

It’s then that
I make a decision so out of character for me, I actually shock myself.  Nick is leaving soon and I want to make the most of the time we have together.  I know it will hurt like hell when he is gone but I want the memories.  I want something to hold onto when he leaves.  And the best way to do that is to spend time with him, lots and lots of time.