Damned and Desperate (6 page)

Aedan O’Connor

Dear God, my day couldn’t get any more disastrous. Somehow, I suspected what Marie’s meeting would be about, and I was in no mood to hear it. To make matters worse, my girlfriend was drunk on cheesecake. I’d warned her not to eat it. Why didn’t she listen?

I walked into Ma’s sun-room with purposeful strides, shielding my eyes against the glare from the bay window. When I was a child, this room had been off limits to me because of the delicate furniture and porcelain fineries. Even now I refused to sit down on Ma’s white brocade sofa, so small I feared it wouldn’t hold my weight. I chose instead to stand by the fireplace. Mar was about to launch into one of her lectures, and I had a better edge if I stood. Somehow, my mom had slipped Ash a slice of blackberry cheesecake, so she flopped onto the sofa, too focused on stuffing her face to pay us any heed. Ash was going to have one hell of a hangover tomorrow. Served her right.

Marie gathered up the fabric of her white eyelet dress and stepped over Ash’s outstretched legs, not sparing her a second glance as she marched straight up to me. “Tell me if it’s true. Did God grant you permission to get Callum?”

And so it begins.

Muscles coiled in my neck as I hardened my resolve. I would not let her wear me down. “Yes.”

She huffed, planting both hands on her hips. “And what of Katherine? Did you plead for her soul, as well?”

Every muscle in my body tightened, and I had to force myself to unclench my jaw. “No, I did not.”

She took a step back, splaying a hand across her chest as if I’d struck her with a verbal spear. “Aedan, she is your wife.”

“She is not my wife. Till death do us part.” Resentment welled up in my chest as I followed her. “That was one of our vows. At least
I
remembered to obey them while we were married.”

“You are no better than Katherine was.” Mar waved a hand at Ash, who was kissing her berries. “Cavorting around with
her
.”

“Her name is Ashley,” I growled, “and I will not have you speak ill of her.” Though I planned on chastising Ash plenty after she sobered up.

Mar stomped her foot like a petulant child. “If Callum has been forgiven, so should Katherine.”

I shook my head, leveling Mar with a stern look. “Callum has atoned for his sins. Katherine has not.”

“Again, you are in no position to cast stones.” She stepped forward, jabbing a finger in my chest. “If God will allow Callum into Heaven—”

“Purgatory,” I interrupted as I gently pushed her away and stepped back. “He will never gain access to Heaven.”

“Very well.” She crossed her arms, her green eyes flashing with defiance. “If God allows Callum into Purgatory, then so should Katherine be admitted, and since I can’t trust you to bring her back, I suppose I must go.”

“Holy fuck! There’s a party in my mouth. Blackberries and cheesecake are doing the tango.”

I stifled a curse as I turned to Ash. She was laughing while licking crumbs off her plate.

“Such foul language.” Mar scowled down at Ash and clucked her tongue. “I’m ashamed you are a Murphy.”

Though I knew the cheesecake had been drugged, I couldn’t help but be embarrassed by Ash’s behavior, too.

She smiled up at Mar. “I’m not a Murphy. I’m a MacLeod.”

“Marie,” I said sternly, hoping to shift her focus off my girlfriend and make her understand my position, “you are not coming with us.”

She pulled back her shoulders. “I must. Katherine has suffered enough for her sins.”

“Marie, you have no idea the horrors you will face down there. You are not prepared for that world.”

“He’s right,” Ash laughed. “There’s no cheesecake, only grilled spider and horny water.”

Mar’s eyes pooled with moisture. “Imagine the horrors my poor Katherine faces each day. I cannot stand it a moment longer, knowing how much she suffers.”

Mar swallowed a sob and turned away, making me feel like a ten-pound bucket of dog shit, and I suspected she knew it. After over a hundred years of arguing with Mar, I’d become accustomed to her tactics, using vulnerability to try to persuade me. She’d tried this several times when I’d first become a Grim, thinking if she shed enough tears, I’d step off that elevator and go searching for Katherine. What Mar failed to understand was, even if I’d managed to find Katherine, she still wouldn’t have been allowed admittance into Purgatory. She’d have been stuck on the elevator with no way of getting off. Other Grims would have eventually come for her and hauled her back to Hell.

“Hey!” Ash threw down her plate with a clank, stood, and stretched her arms to the ceiling. “Didn’t Aunt Kate try to send me into the fourth dimension with a big ass knife through my chest?”

Marie cringed but didn’t turn around and acknowledge Ash. “I am sure her fight for survival has hardened her, but if I go down there, I can convince her to repent.” She looked up at me with pleading eyes. “I just know it.”

“Marie, Katherine is far beyond repentance.”

“Your brother haunts Earth and steals souls.” The sweet lilt of her voice rose, almost turning shrill. “I heard he’s even burned out the eyes of ghosters and Grim Reapers.”

“Those are rumors. Callum is a good man.”

Pools of anger simmered beneath her gaze. “And Katherine is a good woman.”

“The only thing she’s good at is being bat-shit psycho,” Ash giggled right before she leaned back and propped her shoes on the pristine white fabric of Ma’s sofa.

Mar spun around in an angry swish of skirts. “How dare you!”

“Enough!” I bellowed, stepping between them. “Mar, you cannot come with us, and that is final.”

Her bottom lip quivered. “I don’t recall asking for your escort.”

For a moment, a seed of fear sprouted within my chest, but then I realized Mar had to be bluffing. “You’re going down there by yourself?”

She flashed a smug smile. “That’s none of your concern.”

“It damn well is my concern.” My voice rose along with my ire. “I will have enough on my plate without having to keep you from becoming some demon’s bitch!”

She gasped, stumbling back. “Oh, such language. You’ve changed, Aedan, and not for the better. I can see coming here was a mistake. Good day.” Shoulders ramrod straight, she turned and marched for the door, throwing it open with surprising force. “Mother, Father,” she called. “It is time to go.”

Fool that I was, I followed her. I couldn’t end things with Mar like this.

Mr. Murphy stepped forward, hands in his pockets and green eyes framed with lines of sadness. Though people were supposed to look younger in Heaven, Mr. Murphy’s youth always seemed drained away, most likely the effect of having to live with the knowledge his daughter would be stuck in Hell forever. It was no easy thing for a parent to accept. Still, I had always admired how he chose to face the truth rather than bury it beneath cheesecake.

He rubbed his dark beard, eyes glazing over as if he was lost in thought. “Not just yet,” he said to Mar before turning to me. “Aedan, I’d like to have a word with you, as well.”

I stepped back, holding up my hands. “Mr. Murphy, I’ve already made up my mind on the matter.” It was hard, really hard, refusing the man anything after all he’d done for Callum and me.

Mr. Murphy seemed to age before my eyes as he heaved a weary sigh. “I know you have, son, but this will only take a minute.”

As I followed him into the sun room, I got this sinking feeling in my gut that I was marching to my own funeral.

Ash MacLeod

“Oh, Goodie! Aunt Mar is coming with us to Hell. Isn’t this a grand party?”

I giggled as we rode the elevator down to level thirteen. Aedan said he was dropping me off at a place called Delta House. I thought I’d lived there once. Maybe my friends lived there, too. I tried to recall their faces, but I kept conjuring up a skeleton, a giant crow, and some green monster thing. Weird. My head was so fuzzy, and my body felt weightless. Aedan kept scolding me about eating too much cheesecake, but I felt more like I’d smoked an entire hash pipe and taken a few hits of acid. Not that I’d ever done those drugs before, at least I didn’t think I had.

I vaguely remembered following Aedan and Aunt Mar off the elevator and getting into a taxi. Jack sat between me and Mar while Aedan sat up front. Mar kept making all of these huffing and puffing sounds every time Jack sniffed her hair or drooled on her parasol.

The static in my brain was starting to break like a heavy fog dispersing off the bay.

“Someone please control this beast!”

Jack’s tail was happily slapping the seat as he lavished Mar’s face with sloppy kisses.

Wait a minute? Why is Mar in our taxi?

Mar pushed my dog’s muzzle away before leaning forward. “Aedan, please tell me this mutt will not accompany us on our journey.”

Aedan turned, his profile revealing a drawn mouth and weary eyes. “Yes, he’s going. Believe me, you will be thankful to have him on your side.”

Journey? What journey?

“Hang on. What the hell are you guys talking about?” I groaned as I rubbed my temple, regretting the sound of my voice as it rang in my ears like a thousand banging drums.

Aedan clutched the back of his seat as he smirked at me. “I believe the cheesecake is wearing off.”

“This should be a rude awakening.” Mar ended with a shrill laugh, making me want to smack the bitch right out of her.

How nice these two were sharing a joke at my expense. And, damn, my head was hurting worse.

“Aedan,” I growled, “what the hell is your ex-fiancée doing in our taxi?”

His stupid smirk vanished, replaced by hard lines and angular features. “There’s been a change of plans, Ash.” He acted as if he was the man in charge, and I had no freaking say-so in the matter. He may as well have said, “Me big strong man. Me make all rules,” and then clubbed me over the head. His chauvinism was so last century, and quite frankly, I was sick of it.

“Oh, hell no!” I instantly regretted the tenor of my voice.
Note to self, do not yell after eating a copious amount of cheesecake.
What was up with Heaven, anyway? Angry water and hangover cheesecake? Purgatory was looking better and better.

I groaned as I laid my head back. Jack tried to soothe me with kisses, but even the sound of his licking was too loud.

“Don’t worry. As soon as I find Katherine, I shall be on my way.”

I opened my eyes to slits, glaring at Miss Hoity Toity who was sitting on the other side of Jack, back stiff as if a stick wedged up her ass was holding her in place. She smoothed the fabric of her already pristine dress, chin held high and gaze straight ahead at Aedan as if my dog and I were beneath her notice.

“So you think you’re just going to waltz down to Hell, grab the snake-psycho, and come right back up?”

She glanced at me, anger flashing in her eyes. “My business in Hell is none of your concern.”

“It damn well is my concern.” I leaned forward, banging the back of my boyfriend’s seat. “Aedan, you seriously can’t let her go with us.”

“I’ve already explained this to her and her father, but she is determined.”

Actually, it sounded more like Aedan was determined, judging by his harsh tone. Then again, every tone was harsh when I had a thousand decibel gong banging in my ears.

“Have either of you seriously considered what will happen to Miss Priss down there?” My voice rose, and so did my anger. “This will be like Texas Chainsaw Massacre meets Cinderella. Instead of losing her glass slipper, she’ll lose her head.”

“I have heard the stories of Hell, and I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself.” Mar’s voice cracked, even as she held her nose in the air. She might have had Aedan snowed but she wasn’t fooling me.

I glared at her. “You won’t last a minute down there, and we’ll all end up risking our heads trying to save you.”

She slowly swiveled toward me, and I was nearly convinced she did have a stick up her ass, or at the very least, a corset so tight, she couldn’t make any sudden moves without busting a seam. “Well, let me put your mind at ease. Neither do I expect, nor do I want, your help.”

“Good, because I’m not risking my soul for you.”

“I’m so glad we are in agreement on the matter.”

She turned away, pinching her lips together as if she’d been sucking on a lemon. I realized I was that lemon, and talking to me brought a bitter taste to her mouth. Good. I reminded myself I’d have to engage her in conversation more often. In the meantime, I wanted to crawl into a deep, dark hole and never come out. Damn. My head hurt.