Damned and Desperate (5 page)

Ash placed a slender hand on my knee, batting long lashes. “We’ll be spending every day together, making each other happy. Isn’t that enough of a purpose?”

I wondered if she knew how pretty she looked at that moment. Of course she did. She was so like a woman to use her charms to win an argument. “We can be happy together after I get off my shift delivering lost souls.”

She pulled back, scowling. “You don’t deliver souls anymore, remember? You work for the ghosting unit now.”

I straightened my shoulders, sitting up to full height as I prepared for battle. “Ghosting is too dangerous,” I said firmly, holding her gaze. “I’m quitting that job, and so are you.”

She jerked back, hand splayed across her heart, her wide eyes looking almost comical. “I am? Funny, because I don’t remember telling you I was quitting.”

I groaned, raking a hand through my hair. I didn’t need to get into this with her right now. I had too much on my mind to worry about debating where we would live when and if we returned from Hell. “Look, you don’t need a job. I make enough to support us both.”

“Oh, so you’re the only one who gets to have a purpose?” She tossed her auburn hair over her shoulder, turning up her chin. “Maybe I’ll live up in Heaven, and I’ll pay you conjugal visits on weekends.”

Instinctively, I eyed my untouched cheesecake, wishing I could have a small bite, just enough to make this conversation bearable. Ash’s vivid green eyes sparkled with defiance. Her little trip to Hell has made her even more hard headed than before. I leaned into her, close enough that I could smell her sweet perfume. “You’re not living in Heaven without me.”

“Of course not.” She flashed a devious grin. “I’ll have an Aedan valet.”

I shot to my feet, bearing down on her with a scowl. Flaming pyres of rage were practically shooting out of my ears. “Like hell you will!”

Ash MacLeod

Ugh, what was with these turn-of-the-century chauvinistic men? What the hell was I supposed to do all day in Purgatory while Aedan went to work? Iron his shirts? Bake him pies? Dust the knick-knacks? Was I supposed to be waiting for him with a martini and a blowjob when he got home from a hard day at the office? Seriously, if I had to live that kind of monotonous life, I’d go crazy. I’d rather do trash pickup in rat-infested, smelly level two.

And the asshole had the nerve to get in my face and yell at me, all because I didn’t want to spend the rest of my eternity living a dull, empty life. He hovered over me, steaming my forehead like an angry dragon, as if that was going to get me to back down. He’d forgotten I’d already fought a three-headed Dogzilla, a seven-foot-tall scorpion, and a sadistic snake bitch ex-wife from Hell. If he thought to intimidate me with his little mantrum, he had another thing coming.

I narrowed my eyes, preparing to unleash my verbal fury.

My head snapped back when I heard a loud thud at the other end of the room. A man dressed in coveralls and dirty boots, who looked very much like Aedan, strode toward us with open arms. “Aedan, my boy. You’ve been away too long.” I barely had time to move out of the way as he grabbed Aedan in a bear hug and then held him, resting his head on Aedan’s shoulder.

I felt like the awkward third wheel, and I scooted farther away. Aedan’s dad sighed as he continued to hold him. For a moment, I wondered if he ever planned on letting go.

Aedan finally broke the hug. “Sorry. I’ve been busy with work.”

His dad looked at me with warm blue eyes. “And this lovely angel must be Ashley. Mama tells me you’re a Murphy.”

My gaze flicked to Aedan, and he actually had the decency to give me an apologetic shrug.

“Sort of,” I said.

Aedan’s dad puffed up his chest. “Any descendent of Ben Murphy is a friend of ours. My son was just a lad when sickness took us. He would have been all alone if your granddad hadn’t looked after him after we passed.”

All alone? Not quite. He’d had his brother, didn’t he? “What about Callum?”

He scrunched up his brow. “Who?”

Seriously? He didn’t remember his other son? Aedan cleared his throat and shot me a stern look.

“What?” I mouthed. Had I said something wrong? Was I not supposed to mention their son?

Aedan sat next to me, lacing his fingers through mine and giving my hand a hard squeeze. “She was thinking of a friend of mine.”

Wait? A friend? How had these people forgotten their own son? And why was Aedan playing along and allowing them to wash away memories of Callum? Sorry, but feeding their denial was not only dishonest but a slap to Callum.

“Oh, no doubt.” His dad gave an affirmative nod as he sat on the sofa opposite mine. “Ben looked after many of the lads in our town. He was a good man, taking in orphaned children, volunteering for the church.”

Aedan’s mom came in bearing a huge tray with at least twenty slices of cheesecake. “Would you like some dessert?”

I held up a hand. “No, thanks.”

What was with these people and the cheesecake? And by the way, I must have gone certifiably crazy to have refused it, but I remembered how Heavenly cheesecake affected me last time I ate it, namely I forgot all my inhibitions and floated around in a daze. But at least it didn’t make me crap my pants. Just another reason why I loved Heaven; I could eat all the gluten I wanted and my anus wouldn’t turn into the flaming tunnel of terror. Not so in Purgatory. The brownie incident from a few weeks ago, still made me clench my stomach in fear.

“Are you sure?” she asked with a glazed look in her eyes. “Cheesecake makes all of your problems go away.”

Oh, now I got it. Duh. Why had it taken so long to sink in? No wonder they’d forgotten Callum. They were cheesecake addicts.

I offered my best polite smile. “I already ate.”

Her long skirt swished as she walked around the coffee table and held the platter under my nose. “You can eat as much as you want,” she said with wide-eyed admiration as she licked her lips. “We have cherry, peach, and cinnamon streusel.”

Okay, I’ll admit I thought I heard that cinnamon streusel cheesecake calling my name. I’d never heard of streusel on cheesecake, but hot damn, it had caramel sauce and pecans. I did my best to ignore Aedan’s scowl as I greedily took a small porcelain plate bearing a slice of cheesecake. The poor woman looked ready to have a heart attack and die twice if I didn’t have at least a few bites. Besides, where else could I eat gluteny graham cracker crust and not get explosive diarrhea other than in Heaven? I had just survived a horrifying ordeal in Hell, for goodness sakes, where the water was tainted and rats and spiders were grilled extra crispy. After all I’d been through, I deserved a slice of cheesecake. Actually, I deserved the whole damn pie. I’d prevented the freaking apocalypse!

I continued to ignore Aedan’s scowls as I twirled gooey caramel sauce around my fork. I blocked out all sounds of him huffing and puffing as I sank my teeth into fluffy, creamy goodness and rich cinnamon and sugar roasted nuts. Mmmm. Aedan could grumble all he wanted. My mouth was practically having an orgasm.

“Would you like another?” Aedan’s mom asked as she pried the empty plate from my hand.
What? Whoa.
I didn’t even remember eating the whole slice.

What the heck is in this cheesecake?

“Sure, thanks,” I said and pointed to the one with cherries. I eagerly took a bite and moaned as the tart cherries and creamy cheese did the tantalizing tango on my tongue. This pie was even better than the first. No wonder Aedan’s mom ate so much cheesecake. This stuff was like Heavenly crack.

Aedan’s mom sat next to her husband on the sofa across from us, demurely folding her hands in her lap as she batted her lashes at Aedan. Wow. She sure was pretty, and she had such a small, pert nose. I wondered if she was able to fit her finger into such tiny nostrils, but I realized Heaven probably didn’t have boogers, anyway.

“So now you’ve found a nice girl, will you be settling down in Heaven?” she asked her son.

I glanced at him and held my breath, awaiting his response. I could think of no better Heaven than an eternity with Aedan. Oh, yes, and cheesecake. I reminded myself I’d have to get his mom’s valet to give my valet the recipe.

“I could sure use another hand on the farm,” his dad said as he held a hand up above his head. “You should see how tall the corn is.”

Aedan leaned forward, fixing each of his parents with stern looks. “Actually, Pa, we’re going on a trip. We just stopped in to say goodbye.”

“Oh, where to?”’ his mom asked as she clapped her hands together. “I hear the coast is lovely this time of year.”

Aedan’s dad pulled a cigar out of his front shirt pocket and plopped it in his mouth, chewing on one end. “Yes, soak up plenty of sunshine. It’s good for your constitution.”

“Oh, it will be plenty warm where we’re at,” I piped up cheerily. I had no idea why, but the notion of traversing through Hell didn’t seem so bad anymore. As a matter of fact, I was certain we’d have quite the adventure dodging demons and drinking horny water. Ohhh. It occurred to me I could drink all the water I wanted because I’d have Aedan to satisfy my urges. Hell was looking more appealing by the moment.

I smiled at my boyfriend as I thought about all the nasty things we could do to each other in the fiery pit of doom. I was a little disappointed to see my smile was met with a scowl. What bug had crawled up his ass? Oh, well. Whatever it was, he’d get over it. I gladly accepted a slice of peach cheesecake from Aedan’s mom, vaguely aware I’d already polished off two slices.

Everyone turned to a knock at the door, and Aedan’s mom hurried out of the parlor, clapping her hands together and saying something about how much she loved guests.

Aedan’s dad pulled the cigar out of his mouth, looking thoughtful. “I wonder who that could be?”

I heard Aedan’s ma squeal, followed by a rush of low voices and the swish of skirts. Aedan’s mom came in clutching the elbow of a familiar-looking woman. “Look who’s here, The Murphys. Isn’t this a grand party?” A couple flanked his mom’s left side, both attractive brunettes dressed in old-fashioned garb.

I thought I heard Aedan swear, which was weird. Didn’t he like grand parties? I sure did. I followed the lead of Aedan and his dad and stood, plastering on a smile as Aedan’s mom made the introductions. Mr. Murphy kept mentioning something about me being a granddaughter while the young woman next to Aedan’s mom scowled at me. I had no idea what I’d ever done to her, but for some reason I didn’t care. I gladly took another slice of cheesecake as Aedan’s mom passed the plates around.

“You must be Ashley,” Mrs. Murphy said as she smiled from across the room.

“Yes,” I mumbled as I shoved a bite into my mouth. I’d had no idea peach cheesecake could taste so good, but it had this cinnamon sauce mixed with the peaches, giving them a sweet, crunchy texture. Wow! I was in Heaven… literally.

“You have the Murphy eyes,” Mrs. Murphy said as she eyed me intently. If I hadn’t been enjoying my cheesecake so much, I would have thought her direct stare a little creepy.

“So I’ve heard.” At least I thought I had. I got the feeling I should have been annoyed when she compared me to the Murphys. I had the vague impression I didn’t like that side of the family. In fact, I think that’s why I’d changed my last name to my mom’s maiden name.

Before I knew what was happening, Mrs. Murphy was sitting next to me, prying the cheesecake out of my hands and wrapping me in a hug. I gaped at her when she pulled away, surprised to see a fresh sheen of tears in her eyes. “Your father was my great, great, great grandson. It’s a shame you never got to know the Murphy side of the family.”

Was it? I didn’t remember why I didn’t know them, but they seemed nice enough.

Mar, who surprisingly looked a lot like me, set down her lemonade with a clank. “I just came to speak with Aedan.” She shot me a look that could have boiled steel. “Alone.” She emphasized that last word. Why, I had no idea. What did I care what she and Aedan did together as long as I had my cheesecake?

“Do you have any blackberry topping?” I asked Aedan’s mom. “With whipped cream on top?” Blackberries were my favorite fruit. I thought I remembered eating them straight off the bushes when I was a child, but my memories were a bit fuzzy.

“Of course,” she said as she stood. Then she looked at Mar. “You and Aedan may use the sun-room while we entertain your parents in the parlor.”

Aedan cleared his throat before hooking his arm through mine. “Whatever you have to say to me, Ashley can hear, too.”

“Fine,” Mar growled as she stomped out of the room.

Hey, hang on! I didn’t sign up for this. I want more cheesecake!