Death of a Coupon Clipper (17 page)

While standing in front of the open refrigerator last night, contemplating what to
make for dinner, I noticed one of the leftover chickens I had purchased tucked in
the back, so I decided I would make a hearty chicken noodle soup. As I started pulling
out the ingredients from the refrigerator, I reminisced back to a dark, cold night
last winter when my days of making chicken soup nearly came to a grinding halt.

A friend of mine had dropped by my house and gifted me with a very large roasting
chicken that she had won at the Congregational Church Christmas Bazaar. Since she
had already bought a roasting chicken earlier that day for her Christmas dinner, and
knew how much I love chicken, she chose me as the lucky recipient of her prize.

I immediately knew what I was going to do with it. Dig out an old family chicken soup
recipe I hadn’t used in a while and invite a few friends over to share my bounty.
Well, they all jumped at the chance to come over the following evening for cocktails,
conversation, and some good old-fashioned chicken soup.

Don’t ever let anyone tell you cocktails and chicken soup don’t go well together.
Trust me, they do!

Luckily, I had three mason quart jars of a hearty, rich chicken stock already in the
fridge from some experimenting I had recently done with another recipe. I placed the
chicken in the pot, poured the two quarts of chicken stock over it, followed by a
quart of water, and brought the whole thing to a boil before simmering until the chicken
was ready to fall off the bones. Then I removed the chicken and cut it up into pieces,
placed it in a plastic container, and set it aside to add to the soup tomorrow. Finally
I added my secret seasoning ingredient to the stock. A little cayenne pepper always
gives my soup an added kick and really warms everyone up. I placed the stockpot in
the fridge to sit overnight so all of the flavors would blend together, because that’s
the way my grandmother had always done it, God rest her soul.

The next evening six girlfriends showed up—all of them commenting on how heavenly
the soup simmering in the kitchen smelled. And I attributed it to my secret spice.

My famous pitchers of sage sangrias were flowing and we were having a wonderful time
telling stories.

Have you ever noticed when you’re with your friends and having cocktails, everyone
tends to tell the same stories they’ve already told a hundred times? I swear, the
more sangria we drank, the funnier the stories got, like we were hearing them for
the very first time. My sides were hurting from laughing so hard.

I stood up to add the egg noodles to the soup so they could cook while I warmed some
loaves of crusty French bread in the oven. When everything was done, we all grabbed
our glasses and headed to the table and I ladled out big bowls of the hot chicken
noodle soup for everyone to enjoy with the bread.

We were still laughing and joking and I began to tell one of my stories that everyone
had already heard. I knew it was a corker and worked every time; but as I got to the
funniest part, I suddenly noticed everyone getting a little quieter and reaching for
their glasses of sangria more often than usual. Pretty soon after that, one by one,
they all dropped their spoons and gulped their drinks down like they were stranded
in the desert and dehydrated.

When I brought in a fresh pitcher of sage sangria, everyone began fighting over it.
Liddy got hold of it first, so the rest of them stampeded into the kitchen to get
some water. Several ransacked the cupboards for glasses. Mona didn’t waste time finding
a glass; she just stuck her head underneath the faucet and let the water pour into
her mouth.

Liddy, teary-eyed, dabbing at her face with a napkin, her voice hoarse as if it were
burning, finally managed to ask, “Hayley, what did you put in that soup? I know you
like things spicy, but, good Lord, did you try it?”

Staring at all the chaos around me, I said, “I guess I was so busy trying the sage
sangrias, I forgot to taste the soup.”

I picked up my spoon and dug into the soup, tasting it for the first time. At first,
I didn’t know what all the fuss was about. I had only put a teaspoon or two of cayenne
pepper in it, but as I kept spooning it in my mouth, I felt a stronger burning heat
start to kick up in the back of my throat. And then, as the burning became a raging
inferno, the awful realization hit me that something definitely wasn’t right with
this soup, and it wasn’t the cayenne pepper.

I jumped up from the table and ran to the fridge, whipping open the door and sorting
through my mason jars. I should add that from now on I will start labeling them instead
of relying on my memory. I identified two mason jars full of chicken stock still in
my fridge, but two jars of jalapeno juice, which I use for pickling, were now missing!

When I finally mustered up the courage to turn around and face my friends, who were
all staring at me, only now with red faces and sweat pouring down their cheeks, I
put on a big smile and said, “I’ve got a funny story to tell you. And, hopefully,
next year, when I tell it again over cocktails, we’ll all be laughing together!”

For this week’s recipe of chicken soup, it might be better if you follow the recipe,
and, please, if you do want to add your own touches for heaven’s sake, read your labels!
Or if you’re like me and don’t use labels, check your ingredients very carefully!

cup honey
cup boiling water
15 sage leaves
750-milliliter bottle rosé wine
Ice
Slices of lemon, to garnish

 

In a heat-proof bowl, mix your honey and boiling water together until dissolved.

 

Add the 15 sage leaves to the syrup mixture and muddle with the back of a spoon and
let cool slightly, then strain into a pitcher, pressing the leaves.

 

Pour your bottle of rosé into the pitcher and stir well. Serve in ice-filled wineglasses
and garnish with a lemon slice. Your friends will forgive you anything!

1 stewing chicken (about 4 pounds), cut up
3 quarts water
2 cans chicken broth (14 ½ ounces each)
5 ribs celery, chopped and divided
5 carrots, chopped and divided
2 medium onions, quartered and divided
½ cup chopped green pepper, divided
Kosher salt and fresh ground pepper, to taste
1 bay leaf
8 ounces uncooked medium
egg noodles
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
(optional)

 

Place your chicken in a large stockpot and add the water, broth, half of the celery,
carrots, onions and green peppers, ½ teaspoons salt and pepper and the bay leaf. Bring
to a boil and reduce heat; cover and simmer for 2 ½ hours or until the chicken is
tender.

 

Remove the chicken from the broth, cool, then remove the chicken from the bone and
set aside.

 

Strain the broth and skim the fat; return your broth back to the stockpot. Add the
rest of the onion, celery, carrots, green pepper; and salt and pepper, to taste. Bring
to a boil. Reduce heat; cover and simmer until veggies are almost tender, about 10
minutes. Add your noodles and cook for 10 to 15 minutes until noodles are tender.
Ladle yourself a nice big bowl. It’s sure to warm you up on a chilly night.