Denying Heaven (Room 103) (25 page)

I giggled and he smiled widely, “And I love you, Chase
Trent Donnelly?” I whispered as I copied his act, drumming my palm against his
heart twice.

He quirked a brow in surprise as I said his middle name
and I wasn’t even sure I knew where I had learnt it from but I cupped his face
tenderly, “I have a message for you.”

He frowned and gave me a sceptical smile. “Your past
doesn’t rule your future,” I whispered as I brushed my lips over his.

He gasped and I gently bit his lower lip before he moaned
softly and covered my mouth with his, kissing me tenderly but with a fierce
passion as he wrapped his hand around my hair and tilted my head so he could
control the kiss, deepening it until he was consuming me, devouring me and
taking me.

“I have another message for you.” He gulped and I smirked
at him, “I never really did put a curse on that lovely cock of yours.”

His lips curled with his own smirk as his eyes sparkled,
“So it would be okay to use it then?”

I nodded briskly as I beamed at him, “It really would
because I really, really like your cock, Bulk.”

He leaned forward and bit my lower lip, triggering a
groan from me as he tugged on it faintly, “But honey, I don’t really, really
like your pussy.”

My eyes widened as I stared at him. “I love it!” He
finished with a wide smile before he slid me up the shower wall, tucking his
shoulders under my thighs until I was towering above him and his face was
buried between my legs.

“Uhh, Bulk.”

He reared back slightly to peer up at me and I nearly
whimpered at the loss of his expert tongue as I looked down at him from the
ceiling, “You know I’m pregnant, right?”

He frowned at me and nodded slowly as he planted a gentle
kiss on my tummy and my heart soared, “Well, the thing is… it makes me wanna
pee at really bad times.”

He rolled his lips and closed his eyes as he tried to
stifle a chuckle, “Do you need to wee, Spirit?”

“Yeah, really bad” I cringed as he chuckled and slid me
back down. “Thank you,” I yelled as I made a dash for it.

“I love you, Spirit!”

“I love you too,” I shouted back as I skipped across the
bathroom floor.

“Marry me, River Phoenix Jolene Spirit Brannigan.”

I skidded to a halt as I peered down at the floor, “I
would love to marry you, Chase Trent Donnelly but now I’ve pee’d myself.”

His laughter filled the whole of the room as it bounced
merrily off the walls and burst into my heart with a heavy slam.

I grinned and squealed loudly as his arms circled me and
he lifted me over the puddle, “Well then, now you don’t need to pee, let’s get
back to business.”

“I’d really, really like that.”

“This is my baby too; my son and I won’t let you keep
me out of his life. I told you, Spirit, I wanted to be a hands on dad.”

I tilted my head as my heart ached for him. His hand was
constantly clamped around my heart, his fist brutal and tight as he still
gripped hard after seven years.

Seven years of having to watch over him, seven years of seeing
him struggle through life, torturing himself every second and I felt each tired
beat of his shattered heart as it screamed for me.

It hadn’t been his fault. It hadn’t even been my fault.
But God had avenged for me and my son and I had learnt to forgive. Chase needed
to do that now.

“Mommy, Daddy’s shouting at Spirit again.”

I sighed and nodded as I looked down at Dylan, “I know
baby, he’s just angry.”

He gave me a sad look and nodded, “But he doesn’t need to
be cross, Spirit loves him like we do.”

I smiled widely at him and pulled him close, tucking him
in tightly under my arm, “She does, very much and I’ll let you into a secret…
Daddy loves Spirit very much too.”

The sound of giggles made my heart flutter and I
scrunched up my nose as the soft sound tickled my ears.

“Don’t look at me like that. You have no idea how
different I want this to be, Spirit. How much I want you. How much I am
struggling with not being able to touch you, to hold you and kiss you; to make
it all okay. How much pain I have at watching myself tear you to bits.”

He shouted angrily at Spirit and I flinched as his pain
wrapped around me and tore more of me apart, taking another piece of what
little soul I had left for support as his stubbornness clouded around him like
the morning mist over the Scottish lochs.

“Mommy, it hurts.” Dylan winced as his daddy’s pain furrowed
deep into him and bound his soul severely. “Help him, mommy, please.”

Tiny tears and low sobs tortured me and I whispered
shushes, “Wait, wait.”

"God damn it, Bulk! I can't compete with a ghost;
I can't fight a damn shadow!"

Spirit’s anguish made my head hurt and a tortured weep
beside me made me swallow hard, “Shush my darling.” I reached out and slipped
the petite hand into mine as fingers curled around mine and clung on
desperately.

“Please help them.”

I looked down and smiled tenderly, pushing a piece of
black hair aside, “Soon, very soon.”

"GOD DAMN IT, SHE'S GONE BULK. SHE IS FUCKING
DEAD!"

The cries beside me enveloped my heart and started to
crush me as Chase’s devastation choked us, its intensity chaining whips around
our souls and squeezing so tightly blood started to weep from us. “Do
something, do something.”

I nodded, it was time. They were both at breaking point
and I leaned forward, closing my eyes as I willed myself to flow, float in the
air and gently shadow Spirit as her pain tore her soul from her body as it
tried to join mine for peace and tranquillity.

“Remember, face your terror and show him. Remember, face
your terror and show him.”

I spoke softly as I pushed her soul back, it wasn’t
ready. She needed to heal and live first. She needed to show my husband what
love was like again. She needed to feel real love and Chase could give her
that. It was time for them both to break free now and as she took his hand and
pulled at him I started to feel the shift inside me.

Tiny hands slipped into mine and pulled me back as a warm
and soft current began to flow through us.

“It tickles.” Little giggles brought my own laughter as
the tingling grew and grew until it was one complete hum inside us.

We held each other tightly as Spirit’s phobia made her
spirit scream in a tortuous shriek, the pure raw pain in it made us gasp for
breath.

“I love you. I love you. I love you… I LOVE YOU, I
LOVE YOU… I…”

Spirit’s chant started to rumble the air around us and I
closed my eyes and smiled peacefully as my soul sang when the lost broken
pieces forged their way back inside me and danced with the remaining fragments until
they locked together with an overwhelming sense of relief with Chase’s next shouted
words.

“I love you… I love you… I love you, Spirit. I LOVE
YOU…”

Giggles and delighted laughter excited the air around us,
twirling like a gentle breeze in the summer, its warmth and glee brought blissful
tears as I finally watched my husband let me go and at long last set me and his
son free.

“Ready, Dylan?” I asked as I looked down and he smiled
excitedly, nodding eagerly as he slipped his hand in mine.

“Ready?” I turned to the other side.

“Ready.” Amy confirmed, nodding just as happily as she
slipped her hand in my other.

They both gasped and widened their eyes and I looked down
to see Chase taking Spirit in one of his beautiful kisses.

“Does Chase know that Brandon is in mummy’s tummy?” Amy
asked quite crossly and I laughed lightly.

“He does. Let’s leave them alone now. Let them find their
peace like we’ve found ours.” I whispered playfully in her ear as I turned and
led them both away.

We walked slowly towards where we were going and as the
gates closed I turned back and blew a kiss into the air, “Thank you, Chase. Be
happy my darling, be happy.”

I smiled as I turned back, the children running off in
front to explore as I felt an utter peace settle over me.

“Goodbye, my love. I love you,” I whispered as the air
around me shimmered and lifted my spirit high.

But I went gladly, knowing that my love would be fine.

At long last, at last.

The End