DESIRE (7 page)

But it’s impossible, I thought. I came from a world of concrete and iron, where things were real and people walk on their two feet. Things don’t suddenly appear out of thin air and while the city of Arcadia has always prided itself for its quaint homes, luxurious neighborhoods and flowering public gardens, it couldn’t compare to what was laid out before me.

“You're playing with my mind,” I finally said. I pulled free of his hands and turned to face him. “What are you trying to do?”

“I want you to see where it is that you come from.”

“Liar. I come from Arcadia, the home I love and cherish.”

“Truly? The home that set you apart from others, that sectioned you off to a district far beneath what you deserved? The home that raised you on lies about a predictable future, neatly tied up in a lavender letter?” With forceful hands he spun me around and again put his hands over my eyes.

That immense sense of power and strength surged again and I hated just how much I enjoyed it. I felt immortal and indestructible. I felt victorious and successful.

“Children here grow up realizing their own potential. It’s not dictated to them by a cold and meticulous Committee. Here children learn of their strengths and powers as they discover them; magic, telepathic and telekinetic powers that give them the ability to make this world more beautiful and appealing. They are also raised on a strong belief that love gives them all the power they need to succeed in the world, no matter how talented or untalented they are.”

“You make it sound as though I were raised by wolves, with no love in my home. You're wrong. My mother gave me all the encouragement and…”

“Your mother gave you what she could within the confines of a strictly regimented city. Her love for you gave you a big and compassionate heart you now have. This is part of the reason we know you are indeed the chosen one. Not only do you have the capacity for great powers, but you have the integrity and compassion to do right with it. Can’t you see? You're meant to free the people who are your true ancestors, your true blood.”

His arms wrapped around me as he pressed his chest to my back. My body reacted violently, surging with blood as sensations whirled from the tips of my toes to the tip of my nose. Everything in between was havoc as he enveloped me in his arms.

Right then, I would have traveled to the ends of the earth with him, would have believed anything he said. Warm and secure, I wanted to remain there and it took all my willpower to keep from tilting my head back.

“This is the world you belong to, Kama, the world you were born to,” he whispered in my ear.

His warm breath, sweet and tantalizing, brushed against my cheek and wafted to my nostrils, heightening the sensations my body already struggled with.

“This is your destiny.”

Chapter 7

“
I
t’s been weeks since I’ve seen you, Kama,” Liam said, his tone urgent. “The Committee may be able to keep us from marrying one another, but there’s nothing wrong with being friends.”

With my books tucked under my arm, I’d planned to head home to catch up on some difficult math homework. 

Seeing him again, so loving and devoted, reminded me of all I had to lose.

“I guess I could use your help with these math problems I have to solve,” I said loudly when a couple of classmates and a teacher walked by, glancing at us, as if making sure we were not together. “Trigonometry had never been my strong suit.”

He cocked his brow and grinned. We both knew I was better in math than he was. “I’ll certainly do my best.”

I was nervous and tense when I arrived at his house. It had been so long since we’d been alone together I didn’t even know how to act.

“How have you been?” he asked the moment we were in his room.

“Okay. The shock and rage of getting a blank Life’s Plan has finally diminished to idle curiosity and annoyance. Had this kind of thing happened to a number of people in the past, and not just me, I may have accepted my unique situation better. What can I say, Liam, I’m frustrated.”

He pulled me into his arms, his eyelids heavy with passion. “I tried everything I could to get a real Life’s Plan for you, but there’s nothing my father can do to alter the one you received.”

“I know, Liam, and I don’t blame you or your father for what’s happened.”

“I wanted so badly to fix this for you,” he went on, pulling me closer.

“You wanted to be my hero,” I teased. I enjoyed the feel of his arms around me, but I felt uneasy. I knew I was not supposed to be with Liam. It was forbidden, but I couldn’t help wanting him to hold me like the way he used to before I received my Life’s Plan. I felt guilty, as though betraying some sacred trust.

“I wanted you to understand that I’d do anything for you. I don’t want to be separated from you. These past weeks have been excruciating and the thought of more such weeks ahead kills me.”

“What will happen to you if we’re caught together?”

Few dared to contradict the Committee’s Life’s Plan. Those I’d heard of had paid heavily. Ostracized, humiliated, imprisoned, relegated to a lower district; one could just as well commit a crime and not suffer such harsh consequences.

“Probably get locked away to rot, get banished… Listen Kama, my father is not only the Governor of all Arcadia, he founded it. He makes the laws here. That gives me some liberties, which I intend to take. Being the son of my father has to account for something. Don’t worry. All I have to say is that I faltered and couldn’t resist you. Anyone in Arcadia would understand that, especially given our history together.”

His lips were just inches from mine, his breath hot and perfumed with masculinity. I loved how he smelled and tasted and longed to kiss him. Instead I pulled away, grabbed my books and tried to settle us on a more serious endeavor.

“If I remember correctly, you’re to help me with trigonometry.”

“Sure thing,” he said wryly.

Sitting at the neat little desk in the corner of his room, we struggled for fifteen minutes with a few problems and it was clear he was no help at all. Though I admittedly wasn’t the genius I wished I was in math, I managed to find every solution without Liam’s help. If anything the little advice he gave me always led to an error and I had to backtrack in order to find the right answer.

As I worked on the fourth problem, my thoughts ran to Torrid. I was destined for great things, he had said. My gaze rose discreetly as I looked at Liam. His brow creased in concentration, I could see the difficulty he was having with the problem, even though I’d already begun to find the solution.

I thought of history and the problems he had there. Arcadian history was a must to anyone who aspired to be governor and though he’d get good grades in exams due to his great short term memory, weeks later he was clueless as to some of the more important aspects of our history.

How could he govern if he barely knew where we came from?

His gaze rose to meet mine, slow and seductive as a wicked grin came to his lips. He obviously had no idea the thoughts that rambled through my mind.

“You know you’re beautiful when you calculate,” he said in a hushed tone.

“You should have seen me in algebra,” I said. “I was a real knock out.”

He chuckled and reached for my hand. “You're so incredibly smart, Kama. You’re quick and you get these math problems so much faster than anyone. Maybe the Committee didn’t even know what to do with you because of your outstanding intellect.”

“Yeah, right,” I sneered. “I’m so smart they can’t even find what to do with me.”

“Someone at the Committee has obviously overlooked the fact that I need you. What good am I as Governor if you’re not there at my side? You were always the one with the answers, smarter and quicker than I’ve ever been.”

“Well, seems they think you can manage on your own, or with someone else…”

The words chocked me and I could see the effect they had on Liam. I wished I didn’t say it, but I did since it could be the truth Liam and I will have to face.

“I don’t want anyone else,” he quickly said. “If I have to live the rest of my life as a celibate, I will.”

The pain in my heart was so great, I couldn’t even laugh at how ludicrous he was being. It was all I can do to keep from weeping. The thought of anyone else in his arms, in his embrace, in his kiss; it was torture. I imagined him, smiling, his eyes full of lust and love as he greeted the woman he married. She smiled at him, not so much in love with him as she was in love with the notion of being married to an important man; the most important man.

“There will never be anyone else, Kama.” He slammed his book shut and pulled me into his arms. “I’d rather be a pauper with you than governor with anyone else.”

“You're talking ridiculous and you know it. You’d never be happy living anywhere other than the Diamond District, and being governor is your calling. You can’t turn away from that.”

His lips covered mine, hard and passionate, as though trying to erase the reality that surrounded us. “Stop talking such nonsense,” he whispered between onslaughts of his lips and tongue. “I love you and no one can change that. I love you and the devil may do with me as he will if I should choose to be with you.”

With a passion I’ve rarely seen in him, as though this would be the last time we can ever be together, he pulled me to the bed, his lips never leaving mine. He laid me back, his body quick to cover me. He transmitted his hunger to me and I responded without even thinking. My hands roamed over his back, as though my fingertips wanted to remember every muscle, every curve.

He leaned back and tore his shirt off, sending buttons flying across the room. My hands gravitated towards his pecs, reveling in the power within. What he lacked in mathematic abilities, he made up for in strength and power. He was such a divine creature, it hurt, and my desire to get closer to him hurt all the more.

How will I live without you?

He came over me, his lips moving quickly over my face, down my neck and into the opening of my shirt. I gasped; shocked by the intensity of the sensations he created. The upper reaches of my thighs twitched involuntarily, urging me closer to him. I wanted more, yet my hand pressed against his chest, keeping him from completely pressing his body to mine.

“I want you,” he groaned. “I want you now, tonight.”

“We can’t.”

“We can, Kama. Let go and take control of our own destiny.”

I sighed. I have not seen Liam for so long, my heart ached for him, but I could not risk getting him nor I in trouble. He had too much at stake, and was jeopardizing his future as Governor by being with me. With a heavy heart, I turned to Liam and said, “I love you, but take me home.”

Chapter 8

S
ince I last was with Liam at his home, weeks have gone by, and the school year was almost out. Like all the graduating seniors in school, I should have been preparing to celebrate. Instead I was having an increasingly harder time concentrating on anything and everything. Everyone else seemed content and happy, with another perfect day in Arcadia. I looked around, seeing smiling faces around me, faces without a concern in the world, for they knew what their future held. I was still without a Life’s Plan, and my encounter with Torrid had not help matters.

I walked through the halls at school, feeling weak with hunger. It was lunchtime and eating was the last thing I wanted to do. I headed for the cafeteria, dreading once again the forlorn look in Liam’s eyes as I turned away from my usual seat beside him.

On a few occasions I had dared; dared to sit at his table, at his side. It’d felt like old times, like when I’d belonged. But the stares, cold and hard, judgmental and even disgusted at times, were more than I could stand. Everyone knew my Life’s Plan did not include Liam. I wasn’t even supposed to sit close to him.

“Don’t let them bother you,” Liam had said.

But beyond the stares of the other students were the strict and condemning glares of the teachers – teachers who used to smile at us when we were a couple, but now looked harshly at us, judging us, making sure we were not together romantically. How long before they reported us? I didn’t want to chance it, so I tried to erase the look of anguish I saw in Liam’s eyes as I once again turned to find another table.

Jocelyn and Matthew were seated alone in a corner, the rest of their table empty.

“Mind if I share your table?” I asked.

“It’s not our table,” Jocelyn said with a cold and uninviting shrug. They seemed like the only two persons at school who did not care whether or not Liam and I were far enough apart.

I wanted to comment on the harshness of her tone, but I simply set my lunch bag beside her and sat down.

They both fidgeted and became edgy as I pulled out my sandwich and slowly unwrapped it. I devoured my sandwich like a madwoman, happy to eat without worrying how proper I look, amongst the Committee workers’ group where I used to sit. My weak appetite was rendered inexistent. I looked over at Jocelyn and Matthew, and noticed the tiny blue heart inked onto the inner side of Jocelyn’s right wrist. I wanted to break the ice, say something that would amuse them, or at least lighten the mood. “Nice heart,” I said, indicating the tattoo.

At that, Jocelyn instinctively tried to hide her wrist with the tattoo. “It’s nothing,” she said defensively.

“What is it for?” I genuinely wanted to know. I have never seen anyone my age with a tattoo. I’ve seen it on older Arcadians, but never anyone as young as Jocelyn. “You can tell me,” I said, looking into Jocelyn’s eyes and smiling. We all came from the same district, the district other than the Diamond District. That should give us something in common to share. “It’s okay, Jocelyn,” I said. “I won’t tell.” I glance around. “If anything, I’m the most sympathetic friend anyone whose got an ax to grind here can have right now.”

Jocelyn nodded.

“I guess you guys have heard about my Life’s Plan.” I finally said.