Destined to Play, Feel, Fly Trilogy (57 page)

Leo’s body language gains a regal stature as he senses imminent alignment and he makes eye contact with each of the men around the table, as if reading their minds. One by one, their heads nod in agreement with my conditions. My palms moisten at the thought of what I’m about to sign up for.

‘Your conditions are reasonable. Robert and I discussed the children earlier as we suspected that this would be a major factor in your consideration of our proposal. Robert has reorganised his work commitments and will come with us, ensuring they will have at least one parent with them at any given time. A tutor has also been organised to continue their schooling whilst we are away. All other logistics have or will be taken care of by Moira, upon your agreement.’ Of course, Moira would have everything under control, Leo’s be-all-and-end-all assistant. She clears the logistical path of his life so he can do what he does best — whatever he wants.

I can’t believe my life has become such a bartering tool. I think on what I’ve done in the past weeks: promising Jeremy 48 hours, no sight, no questions.
Negotiating and signing a contract with Xsade; post-abduction; and now this. I am about to hand myself over to Leo and embark on a journey that defies logic, until the stars align, whatever that means. Yet everyone around the table appears to be in full support of a plan that is more bizarre than any dream I’ve ever had. Even Jeremy, who is always so rational, analytical and scientific, is clearly willing me to accept.

‘So, essentially, you are asking me to go with the flow, let be what will be. In your words, “let the past reconcile with the present and let the future unfold”. Is that right?’ I ask.

‘That’s correct.’

‘I’m putting my life in your hands, Leo …’

‘In
our
hands, Alexandra. Please trust that we will never let you fall; we each have our distinct roles to play in this journey.’

Sometimes the path of least resistance may be the most difficult decision to reach, but the simplest road to follow. As I finally relinquish my previously resolute plans to return to Xsade, and agree to accept the path now laid before me, there is a collective sigh of relief around the table. A palpable release from anxiety and tension. I too exhale, exhausted from forcing myself to swim upstream against the tide. It is as frightening as it is invigorating, an intoxicating relief to defy the path of fear and replace it with one of hope.

Jeremy embraces me as if his life depended on it. Tears spill from our eyes. Leo joins our embrace, as do Robert and Adam, completing our union and solidarity
in what lies ahead. Martin is already on the phone making arrangements for goodness knows what. I have no idea what will unfold from this point forward although I do know I need to be as fearless as I’ve ever been. Walking into the unknown, knowing I’m risking my life as I know it for a better future for me and my loved ones. And having to trust in others to ensure the outcome.

T
hank Christ, is all I can think. Leo has been able to achieve what has been impossible for me. Alexa has consented to our plan rather than handing herself over to Xsade, which was never going to happen anyway, but now life is far simpler without us arguing every five minutes about which direction her life should take, or being in a state of limbo where we disagree but don’t talk about it.

Admittedly, when Leo first discussed his alternative proposition I was a little sceptical. Well, very sceptical. It goes against my nature in every way and if anyone other than Leo had suggested it, I would have immediately written it off as insanity. But Leo did suggest it and frankly, if it saves Alexa from a death trap, then the least I can do is keep an open mind for my friend who seems intent on risking everything for us.

Besides, if he discovers what he is hoping to — and knowing Leo, who am I to say he won’t — then the results could save Alexa from being the target of every pharmaceutical company around the globe.

Leo’s recent trip to the Amazon to live with the Wai-Wai people brought him in contact with one of the most powerful shamans he has had the privilege to meet — his words. The shaman was willing for Leo to journey on a ‘soul flight’ with him, where they apparently perceived some form of enlightened state together.

I can’t deny this sounded like mumbo jumbo to me, but Leo has been studying this stuff for years and genuinely believes it could provide the missing link to understanding the enigma of Alexa’s blood, though I’m not sure how exactly. The link that our studies, even with round-the-clock work by our analysts and technicians, has yet been unable to provide.

My areas of study have always been considered ‘outside the medical box’ so to speak, but this will take our research way beyond the realm of traditional scientific methodologies and that’s how Leo finally convinced me to take this journey with him: he’ll coordinate the mumbo jumbo — that is, whatever preparation is involved for Alexa to participate in soul flight — and I, other than being there to support Alexa, will gather the research data and provide medical assistance, which hopefully won’t be required. So in essence, Leo will coordinate the spiritual and I’ll be responsible for the scientific. We’re both hoping
that the answers to Alexa’s blood fall somewhere in between.

I’ve organised for my protégée at Harvard to be on standby in Boston so she can start analysing any data we send through without delay. Leo, Alexa and myself will begin our jungle trek from the Avalon base in the Amazon, in northern Brazil, to the shaman near Mapuera village in the state of Pará.

I have no idea what we are letting ourselves in for but I trust Leo with our lives and he seems to be adamant that this is the path forward. He is so sure of himself, in fact, that any argument I put forward bounces back as if he is protected by some intellectual force field that I can’t penetrate. It’s a weird feeling and not one that I’m used to. His hypnotic speech to those of us around the table was another example of this; as much as you might try to rationalise his words, they seem to engage some level of the subconscious so that you find that you are willing yourself to believe in him. It’s a strange sensation.

I’ve witnessed him do it before to people, but was never sure whether it would work on a defensive Alexa. Either way, I’m not arguing. In my mind he has already achieved the unachievable and she has agreed to remove herself from the outside world for as long as it takes.

And everything is still in motion behind the scenes, for this blackmailing to come to an end. Leo’s connections with Interpol will try to fast-track any red tape to indict Jurilique and get her behind bars sooner
rather than later. Hopefully, the authorities have been able to track Xsade’s systems and are better positioned to protect Alexa. Even in the worst-case scenario, if Salina and her team are unable to penetrate Xsade to bring down Jurilique and rescue Josef before her vile campaign against our reputations begins, at least we will be so far removed from media and western society that we can protect Alexa and the kids from any ramifications. But we still have five days, so anything is possible.

The more Leo discussed it with us, the more it seemed like our only viable option. It was also abundantly clear that he was never going to take no for an answer. And I certainly know what that feels like. Her eventual consent was like breathing life back into a situation which was previously doomed, allowing me to relax my tense muscles for the first time in what feels like forever.

One must learn to love, and go through a good
deal of suffering to get it, and the journey is
always towards the others soul.

David Herbert Lawrence

S
alina can’t believe her luck. Finally, after a long time of hunting, she has managed to locate one of the secret entrances into the facility. She just needs to confirm it.

Since Alexa, Jeremy and Martin returned to the States, she has been investigating Jurilique and Lauren Bertrand and attempting to locate their whereabouts in the hope of finding Josef Votrubec. Though she has been sending progress updates regularly to Martin, she still hadn’t managed to access the entrance to Xsade’s facility. She was starting to think it might be impossible, but now, she thinks she has succeeded. Martin will be pleased and that makes it even more worthwhile.

Salina had had a sneaking suspicion there was something dubious about the hospital morgue where she had seen Alexa’s apparently dead body. Alexa was there one minute and gone the next — as if by magic.
Then they had been sent on a wild goose chase by a doctor who seemed to vanish into thin air, and Salina had been unable to find the man again. In her mind, that had to be the place that held the key, even though the thought of it gave her the creeps.

The main obstacles were the entrance and the emergency room, which she moved through smoothly. Once again she was thankful that Lake Bled hospital was a quiet community facility and staff seemed to be few and far between. She noticed some spare lab coats in one of the rooms and grabbed one to cover her black clothing; with her black hair slicked back from her face, she instantly looked like a medical professional. She continued down the stairs and paused briefly before slipping into the room she remembered as the morgue, and after she making sure she was alone she quietly locked the door behind her.

One at a time, she opened the heavy doors to the refrigerated holdings, exhaling in relief not to encounter any bodies.

‘This has to the way in,’ she muttered to herself as her eyes scanned the room for any other openings. She took a deep breath before lifting and sliding her body on to the metal stretchers and commando-crawling to the far end, pushing against the wall to assess whether anything would give. She was not sure whether to be relieved or disappointed that it was totally solid. She wriggled out and tried the next one. Again, nothing. By the third she had started to question what she was thinking with this theory. As if anyone would be
allowed to access a facility via these cold chambers. As she half-heartedly tested the last one, she sensed some give, which hadn’t been the case with the others.

Using her flashlight, she scanned the wall. There was a tiny silver button located on the bottom corner. She pushed it. Instantly, the back of the chamber slid open. She quickly turned off her torch and allowed for the forty or so seconds it would take her eyesight to adjust to darkness before sliding down into what is presumably the outskirts of the Xsade’s facility.

She was in.

Salina now notices some form of rail track, like an old-style roller coaster, and is immediately reminded of the salt mines she recently took her nephews to in Salzburg. It’s a similar set-up and looks as if you could get up quite a bit of speed twisting and turning deeper underground. She can’t risk such an entrance, so she removes her white coat and stuffs it into her backpack; it may come in handy later.

Her black clothes blend in with her dark surroundings and she follows the path of the tunnel on foot. Only once does a trolley come whizzing past and she crouches down into a small ball. Only when it passes does she venture a glance and sees that there was nobody on it — this must be how they transport goods. Relieved, she continues her journey into what seems like the bowels of the earth.

T
he last twenty-four hours have passed in a blur since I abandoned plans to volunteer my body and blood to Xsade. Since then it’s as if the world around me has been on fast forward and has suddenly come to an abrupt halt now that we are comfortably cocooned in one of Leo’s private jets.

Our arrival at the private airfield could have easily equated to a secret service operation. The kids, Robert, and Adam arrived by limousine and Jeremy, Leo and myself departed in stealth from the apartment just after dark from the rooftop via helicopter — just in case we were being followed. We are now flying to another one of Leo’s secret Avalon properties in South America.

Leo still doesn’t want the exact location to be known to me, as apparently it is more important that I feel the energy of the environment than have any predetermined opinions of its location. Whatever … go
with the flow, I keep telling myself. This mantra helps when I consider the alternative; I involuntarily shudder at the prospect.

I made phone calls to my family, explaining that we were staying in America for a few months due to work commitments, which was met initially with shock, then understanding, bless them. My emotions were shaky when I heard the concern in their voices, just as they probably sensed my worry, but I strengthened my resolve that being with my immediate family was the best option for us, even if I was disrupting so many lives. Robert organised for the kids’ absence from school, and for one of our friends to house-sit for a month or three, without a hitch. Moira had coordinated everything for my work, so I didn’t even need to call or email the university, which feels weird.

Going against the force of Leo and Jeremy’s plan was impossible, regardless, every option sealed, as if they were intent on creating a protective bubble for me to exist in outside the real world. I attempt to push aside my recurring dread about how my family, friends and colleagues might react should Jurilique follow through with her smear campaign; it makes hiding in the void of denial that much easier for now.

Everything was arranged so smoothly there was no need for me to communicate with anyone other than my family. There was no doubt in my mind that these plans had already been orchestrated prior to my consent. I’m sure they would have worn me down eventually, and it’s obvious that there was no way
Jeremy was going to let me return to Xsade. He has barely let me out of his sight since we were reunited in Europe. I couldn’t even leave the apartment of my own free will. A nervous laugh escapes me as I acknowledge that I’ve been held captive by love in Miami instead by fear in Slovenia. I sigh at the thought that this is what my life has become; it’s emotionally exhausting to fight and I suppose ultimately it makes no difference.

After making the necessary calls, everyone’s phones are confiscated by Leo. Jeremy stifles his amusement at my bemused expression, no doubt remembering how angry I became when he ‘stole’ my phone at the commencement of our weekend together in Sydney. Gosh, it seems like forever since we embarked on this wild ride, so much has happened since then. I don’t say too much this time when he has to hand his mobile over as well, but I relish the moment and poke him in the ribs as Leo explains that there will be no reception where we are going, only via satellite phone. It would also be best to leave them behind, he told us, in case any were being traced, which admittedly makes sense. Jeremy then has the opportunity to poke me back when Leo also asks for my watch.

‘My watch? Why?’

‘We’ve discovered that Xsade bugged it, that’s why they have known your exact location at any given time.’

‘Oh, really?’ I dejectedly hand it over to Martin, who never moves too far from the lift doors, as if he thinks I may flee the second he’s not paying attention.

‘We’d already debugged your phone, but it wasn’t until a few hours ago we discovered a signal was still being emitted from another source. Other than the one in your bracelet, of course.’

‘Of course.’ I remember everything was taken from me at the facility except the bracelet, which they were unable to remove.

‘Don’t look so sad, Alexandra. There’ll be no need for watches or keeping time where we’re headed. This way we can leave your watch here and they’ll think that’s where you are.’

There was no use fighting it. Everything that needed to happen to disconnect us from the real world on the last day, has happened. Now, it’s just our little group on the plane who know anything about our journey at all. Obviously, we can’t risk any knowledge of my whereabouts falling into Xsade’s hands. It’s quite a weird feeling having your family and friends not actually knowing where you are or what you are doing. I desperately hope I’m not being selfish in wanting my children with me; I’d die if anything happened to them because of all this. Them being here gives me a greater sense of security and comfort than I’ve had in months, so I’m immensely grateful to these men in my life who allowed it to happen.

Leo has asked Martin to return to Europe to liaise directly with Interpol and assist Salina in rescuing Josef, hopefully ensuring Jurilique’s threats remain just that. I also have a sneaking suspicion they fear Martin’s presence makes me focus more on what we are risking,
distracting me from the whole purpose of our journey. If so, they are right. Every time I look at Martin, I am reminded of the danger that lurks out in the real world for my family. My stomach continues to churn with dread for Josef’s safety, and for Salina’s as well, even though she’s a professional like Martin. So I’m pleased Leo is taking serious precautions and I know he has every faith in Martin’s ability, as do I. Even though I was less than pleased when he wouldn’t let me out of Adam’s apartment under any circumstances, it reinforced to me how seriously he takes his job and he is exceptional at it.

We’ve swallowed or been jabbed with everything under the sun today — yellow fever, hepatitis, typhoid, cholera, the list goes on. My upper arm still throbs from the tetanus injection, and I’m pleased the kids are finally asleep so they won’t be feeling any pain. Their little systems are no doubt awash with many miniature versions of disease. Jeremy was as gentle as possible with them, but it’s always difficult to see your children endure needles. They were very brave, and just so excited to be embarking on yet another adventure. God, I hope I’ve made the right decision having them come with us.

I smile a weary smile toward Robert who has Jordan nestled on his lap just as Elizabeth is on mine. The others are chatting at the front of the plane.

‘How are you, Robert? Are you sure you’re okay with all of this?’ I’m suddenly aware that we haven’t really had any time to chat privately since arriving at the apartment.

‘You ask me now?’ he says with a laugh. ‘I’m okay, Alex, all good. It’s weird though, isn’t it?’ He raises his eyes to our surroundings. ‘I could never have imagined this turn of events.’

‘I’m still coming to terms with how my quiet life has been turned completely on its head.’ I’m aware my voice sounds a little wistful which Robert notices.

‘This has been pretty hard on you, hasn’t it?’

I reluctantly nod, scanning our previously intact family unit and trying to keep my emotions contained on the inside as my eyes well up. ‘Yeah, it has, but I’m hoping it will work out in the end.’

‘Any regrets?’

I smile at his recognition of one of my life’s values. ‘No, I don’t think so, but it doesn’t make this any less weird. I’m just so sorry that you have to be involved … and the kids … I never wanted …’

‘It’s alright, Alex, I have no regrets either, honestly, about any of this, or us.’ His voice is sincere as he acknowledges both of our new and old relationships. ‘Besides, from everything I witnessed with the kids today, they are very excited about being jungle explorers.’ He deliberately lightens the mood and I laugh at the memory of them stalking around the apartment earlier as the various wild animals they may encounter.

‘Do you think I made the right choice?’ I ask earnestly.

‘The only one you could have. Really, you will get through this, we all will. And look at us now, a
functional extended family, still talking to each other, still supporting each other and our kids sleeping soundly on our laps. It’s not all bad.’ He regards me with both sympathy and strength.

‘Thank you. You are an incredible dad. I never want them to lose that. You’ve been so great through this when I’ve been so, well, overwhelmed, I suppose.’ I hope he understands that the children we made together are what binds us together and I’d never undo that bond.

‘And you’re a great mum. We both know we made beautiful children together,’ he says with a wink, confirming his understanding.

I glance toward Jeremy, who has been sporadically keeping an eye on me during his conversation with Leo, Adam and Martin, and smile. I have nothing but platonic feelings for Robert, which has been the case for years, but I still love and respect him, now even more so than when were officially together. I feel secure in my relationship with him knowing that our love for our children will override any personal issues we may face.

Jeremy catches my gaze and returns my smile both with his lips and his eyes, and my heart floods with warmth, spreading a tingling sensation from my head to the tips of my toes. I blush from the strength of these physical and emotional feelings. It’s as if we are bound together with invisible ties and he too, gives me a knowing wink, never one to miss the slightest change in my physiology.

How blessed I am to have these two men in my life, both of whom I love, but in completely different ways. The turmoil I have been thrown into as a result of saying ‘yes’ to Jeremy, always saying yes to Jeremy, is nothing short of unbelievable. But he has brought more love, and play, and feeling into my life than I ever believed possible, resuscitating my heart and rescuing me from the brink of endless inertia that was surely eroding me with each passing hour of my life. The drama, pain and angst of the lows, perhaps contribute to me feeling so alive during the euphoric highs. This is certainly one hell of a wild ride, and no doubt will continue to be, but finally I am now brave enough to embrace the journey surrounded by love and supported by the most special people in my life right by my side.

I quietly reach for a blanket to put over Elizabeth and place her head on a pillow, carefully extracting myself from beneath her body. As I stand, I give Robert a kiss on the forehead as a symbol of just how much he means to me, to us. Then I walk over to stand by Jeremy, needing to be near his strength and the muscled warmth of his body. His arms immediately wrap around me like a cloak and I snuggle into his chest, knowing that whatever happens from this point forward, I am where I should be.

After however many hours, we arrive. Once we land, we are escorted through some militarised security checkpoint, board two helicopters for an hour or so and then travel by jeep on forest tracks taking us deeper into the jungle.

The warmth and humidity hits us instantly, as soon as we are exposed to this new environment, creating an instant sheen on our skin, turning into perspiration and eventually making me feel like I desperately need a shower. Finally, we turn a corner and reach a clearing. Before our eyes, is the wondrous Amazonian version of Avalon.