Authors: Jennifer Anderson
“Sh…you’re hyperventilating. Just listen to my voice and breath with me.”
Listening to him and following his instructions, my breathing finally slowed and the drowsiness hit me again like a ton of bricks.
“I’m sorry I had to do that Carma.”
Looking at him, he really did look sorry. “What did you do?”
“I gave you the one thing I knew would bring you out of it. Emotions.”
“Mine.” Looking into his eyes I knew he was telling the truth.
“But, I thought.”
“I can let you feel what I’m feeling if I want you to. Any angel can. We just choose not to for our own sake as much as yours.”
“It was so powerful.” Choking with a sore throat. A water appearing right in front of me.
“Yeah, I hit you full strength. You had to wake up.”
My eyes starting to close again I leaned into him for support.
“Oh no you don’t. You have to stay awake for a while Carma.”
“I’m so tired Blane. Swaying back and fourth. Just need to sleep now.”
“No, you don’t. You can’t. You have to stay awake a couple of hours. Make sure all of the poison is out of your system. Do you want to fall back into that state?”
“No. Take me to the shower.”
Looking at me with his eye brow up, and a smirk on his face.
“A cold shower Blane. To wake me up.”
Laughing, “Okay, you asked for it.”
Helping me walk into the bathroom, I was still in my outfit from earlier. Reaching across me with one hand, he flipped on the shower head.
“I don’t know what to do here now Carma.” Looking down at my clothes.
Lifting my shirt off, I kept my bra on with the rest of my clothes and stepped under, screeching when the water hit my body. I could feel his eyes staring through me for a brief moment before snapping out of it, holding my arm again.
“Just don’t fall.”
“It’s so cold.” Saying in between chattering teeth.
“Yeah that’s the general idea.” Studying me again, “Why did you do it? I could have taken him out. You would have never even been hurt.”
“I didn’t see it that way.” Staring back at him, letting the ice cold water blast me back into reality.
“Oh, come on Carma.”
“Fine. I didn’t want you and Gabriel to get hurt because of me. I thought maybe if I got loose from him that it would help.”
“Help?” Looking at me with a skeptical stare.
“I don’t know Blane. I didn’t really think about it I guess. I just did what I thought was right.”
“Who’s protecting who here?” Not waiting for an answer, he flipped off the shower. “Don’t do it again.”
Throwing a towel at me he walked out of the bathroom, leaving me standing there shivering.
Stumbling out behind him, “What’s your problem Blane?” He was now sitting at his desk, his back to me. Broad shoulders hunched over his desk, he could look bad ass no matter what he was doing.
“You Carma. Do you realize how close you came to being killed today?”
Sending the chair flying across the room. In two steps he was across the room and in my face again. It was hard to be intimidating on my best day to this angel. I hardly pulled off a convincing argument in the condition I was in at the moment.
“I won’t have you risk your life daily for me Blane.”
“If you haven’t noticed, I’m a little harder to kill than you are. I have dealt with demons for centuries.”
“Centuries? Wait, I thought you said you were around a couple hundred years old?”
“No. I said I’ve been earth bound for a couple hundred years. I am much older than that.”
Feeling like someone had walloped me a good one in the stomach.
“You’re getting off subject. Don’t do it again.” He scolded me.
“Oh what’s your problem? Not used to a female refusing to take orders from you…you brute.” Getting right up in his face, my whole body shivering.
Grabbing my arm he tugged me into his body, smiling down at me, “You haven’t begun to see the animal in me angel girl. I promise you, you don’t want to.”
“Is that a threat? And I quit being a little girl long ago.” I shout back at him, holding my chin up high.
Sneering at me, “Why are you so defiant?”
“Why are you such a stick in the mud?” Yeah that was the best I could think of. I hated confrontations. Unfortunately, my life had become nothing but lately.
This just turned into a stare off, which unfortunately I lost because my shivering was getting the better of me. Turning I walked over to the wall and sat down on the floor so I wouldn’t get anything wet. He just stood, unmoving staring at me. I then chose to stare at the floor instead. I was done fighting tonight. It was exhausting and my day had already sucked pretty hard.
“You don’t have to sit on the floor.”
“I don’t want to ruin anything, it’s best I stay cold right now so I don’t fall asleep.” Nodding his head he retrieved his chair and sat back down at his desk.
An hour passed of me staring at the back of his head and the cold was more than I could take. Getting up and walking to the closet, I found some pink flannel pants and a pink tank. Pulling a sweatshirt out from the bottom of the stack I turned to go to the bathroom.
“Do you think it’s alright to warm up now? I can’t take much more.” I hated being cold. I really hated being so cold that even your bones felt like they were cold.
This time when he looked at me, it was no longer in anger. He looked sympathetic instead. Concentrating on me really hard the clothes disappeared from my hands and replaced my wet jeans and bra in an instant. I really loved that trick. “Thank you.”
Nodding, “I can’t help you with your wet hair.”
“It’s fine.” Appearing in front of me on the desk was a hot coffee. Blane pushing it towards me.
“Drink. It’ll warm you up.”
“Thank you.” My teeth still chattering, I let the hot liquid slide down my throat starting the process of defrosting me.
“I would give it another hour before you go to sleep. Then you should be alright.”
Nodding I made my way to the bed and sat down, staring at his back again. “Why didn’t you tell the other angels about my other ability?”
“They didn’t need to know.”
Nodding, I hid my smile behind my coffee cup just in case he looked back. This man, this angel was determined to protect me from literally everyone. “I shouldn’t have gotten in the way today.” That was as good of an apology I could muster.
Twisting his chair around to look at me, “I shouldn’t have failed you today. It won’t happen again.” Crossing his arms in front of his chest, he looked tired.
“Failed me? What are you talking about? You saved my life.”
“They shouldn’t have gotten that close to you. It won’t happen again.”
“Blane you ever stop to think that maybe you can’t protect me? I mean how many assignments have you had specifically like mine? With my abilities?”
Staring at me, “Zero.”
“Blane, I don’t want to die.” Shaking my head, “But, I don’t want anyone else to die in my place either.” Fighting back the tears, I refused to cry in front of him again.
Standing up he made his way over to me, standing in front of me looking down into my face.
“I have never had any assignments like you. That is the truth. But, there has never been another I wanted to keep alive more.”
Did this man just tell me that he cared about me? Or was I one of those impossible assignments that his ego had to win? I was afraid to ask, afraid to know the answer. If it was the second option, I know it would hurt. I couldn’t take much more hurt, not right now. Obviously, I cared for him. I knew I was falling hard, knowing it could never be was making it that much more bitter. How could any woman not fall for him? Tough, gorgeous, with a perfectly chiseled body. He is caring with a mix of an attitude problem. Mysterious, guarded and quite frankly I couldn’t imagine a better kisser. Made me wonder what else he was capable of. My body warming a little hotter when my mind wondered to those thoughts. He was so close, almost touching me. I would only have to reach up and pull him down to my lips. Then what? Make an already complicated situation worse?
Bringing his hand to my cheek, “Lay down Carma.”
Leaning back into the covers, “Don’t you need sleep yet? It’s been days.”
Smiling reassuringly, “I’ll be okay. Don’t worry about me.”
“I can’t help it.”
Shutting off the lamp, the only light came from his laptop, illuminating his handsome face in the darkness. “I don’t understand.”
“Understand what?” I asked groggy.
“Why do you worry about me? I don’t understand. I am not your assignment. You are mine. I protect you. I keep you safe. I worry about your well being.”
Pushing the pillow underneath my head to watch him closer, “Haven’t you ever had any one that you have been assigned to, worry about you?”
Laughing, “No. It’s just absurd.”
“It is not absurd.” Now offended.
“Tell me how it is not? I am stronger than any human. I am faster, more knowledgeable. To have someone worry about my well being is absurd.”
He was really starting to tick me off, “You may be an angel, but you have feelings, you can feel pain, you can feel joy, sorrow. Can you not?”
Putting his feet up on the bed, he leaned back in the recliner, “Why do you argue about these things? Arguing does not change the facts. Such facts that I have already outlined.”
Shaking my head, I was getting no where. Stubborn mule of a man. Changing the subject, “Why are you trying to look for a specific demon?”
“There is a hierarchy in hell just as there is in heaven. There is a upper level demon pulling strings to get to you. If I can find the top and take him out, the attacks will become fewer. You may be able to try to live a normal life.”
Sighing, “Until when? Until the next batch of demons find out about my abilities? Then what? I’m just dead?”
“More than likely another angel will be assigned to you. Sent to protect you.”
“Another angel? It wouldn’t be you?”
I didn’t like that. It hurt my heart. Then that scared me, knowing that it hurt.
“You look disappointed.”
I couldn’t tell if it was a statement or a question. Just staring nervously at him through the darkness.
“You must not become attached to me Carma.”
That statement made me feel like a fool, “Why don’t you just give me to another angel then Blane. That way you don’t have to worry about any attachment’s.”
Becoming angry, “No! You are mine.” His voice becoming hard with emotion.
Glaring at him, “Make up your mind then. I’m not an assignment and I’m nobody’s property.” Turning over and staring at the opposite wall, I couldn’t look at him any longer. I never met anyone that pissed me off as much as him. What a self absorbed asshole. I wanted to scream. My throat still sore from my hyperventilating episode earlier, I couldn’t even if I wanted to.
Waking up to the sound of knives clanking, my mind was still muddled with sleep. Sitting up and scurrying to the top of the bed against the head board I waited for my eyes to start adjusting. I was scared for what seemed like the hundredth time today. My eyes finally adjusting, Blane was fighting another demon. This one was giving him a run for his money. I stifled my scream when he was thrown into the dresser, breaking the glass in the mirror. Shards flying everywhere.
“Give me the woman.” The demon sneered out, a knife to Blane’s throat.
“Never going to happen.” He spit out before his knife reappeared in his hand, sticking it in the demons gut. The demon hunched over, right before Blane took his head. I was shaking again. I was so tired, that tiredness gave away to hysteria. Starting to get out of bed, Blane grabbed me around the waist pushing me back in.
“Don’t get up. There is glass everywhere.” He commanded.
“I can’t do this Blane. I can’t live the rest of my life looking over my shoulder.” Oh yeah the melt down was coming full force.
He was staring down at me like a deer in the headlights. I could tell he didn’t know which way to go. His hand still on my waist, he continued to stare at me.
“You’ll be okay Carma. I promise you that I won’t ever let anyone hurt you again.” He said trying to reason with me.
“What about you? Can you promise me that you won’t hurt me?” The question that has been burning in my head for days now, slipping out uncontrollably.
Looking at me confused, “I would never hurt you. Or any woman.”
“That’s not what I meant. It doesn’t matter.”
Putting his hand to my face. “It does. What is on your mind? I can tell something is bothering you.”
“I’m falling apart here Blane. I’m slipping, barely breathing.” Refusing to cry, I looked up stubbornly into his dark eyes.
“I won’t let that happen. I won’t let go.”
“Don’t say those things, unless you mean them.” My hysterics moving to a whole new level.
“You know I do not lie.”
“You will let go Blane. You will have to someday.”
“Do you not want me to?” He asked his face turning even more serious.
That was the million dollar question. “Do you look at me as yours?” Reversing the uncomfortable question on him. “And if you say I’m your assignment I’m going to kick you in your male parts.”
Smirking, “I repeat. Do you want me to let you go someday?”
“Don’t you have a demon body to get rid of?” Pointing in the general direction of the body, minus the head.
“Always evading the questions. This one I just might not let you.” Walking over to the body he picked it up along with the head. The doors to the balcony swung open on their own accord and he dumped the body over the railing.
“Don’t you have to dispose of it some how?”
Walking back in, the glass crunched under his boots. “The woods have a way of cleaning it up for you. Now as for that question.”
“You have blood on your clothes.” Stalking over to me, his clothes were replaced by clean ones, never breaking eye contact. He was looking at me like I was his next meal. I’m not sure if it excited me or made me nervous.
Standing in between my legs, he looked down at me again. “Why won’t you answer me?”
“Why won’t you answer me?” I countered.