Disasterology 101 (6 page)

“What’s the matter, Daddy?” He wrapped his hand around Kevin’s biceps and smiled drunkenly. “Don’t you want some of this?”

“This”
was accompanied by a lascivious upward thrust of his hips. It took Kevin a couple of seconds to realize the guy was offering his pert little ass and not his dick. Now,
that
was cute. He wasn’t going to lie. But seriously though, what about the dick? Hard as he tried, and he was finally trying to see it, Kevin couldn’t even make out the outline of it. The guy had either tucked the goods away or he was seriously lacking in that department.

Kevin felt the sweaty hand slid up from his biceps to the back of his head.

“Daddy?”

His entire body tensed up. He wasn’t sure if it was a negative reaction to the kiss the guy tried to plant on his mouth or to the word he kept using to address Kevin.

“No, I don’t want it.”

Even though the guy was close enough to hear him, Kevin also shook his head and removed the intrusive hand from around his neck, thus leaving no room for misinterpretation as to his lack of interest.

“Sure you do.” The guy’s words were slurred, and he almost fell off the bar in his attempt to wrap his body around Kevin’s. “How many opportunities will a guy your age have to hit something young and pretty like myself?”

“Going by what I’ve experienced here tonight, plenty.”

He wasn’t exaggerating. Little Snake on Speed was the sixth barely-out-of-his-teens guy to make a move on Kevin since he’d arrived at this club two hours ago. He didn’t delude himself into thinking he was irresistible. New as he was to the whole gay thing, he had no problem understanding the mechanics of it. The leather scene, the bears and their cubs… the twinks on the prowl for older guys willing to finance their needs in exchange for some sexual favors….

Apparently, Kevin looked old enough to qualify as a “Daddy”.

He wasn’t, though. Not only was he in his thirties, but he didn’t have the money required to fulfill that position, or the inclination. Fuck that. He wasn’t
that
desperate.

“But you don’t want to waste
this
opportunity.” The guy licked his lips. It wasn’t sexy. “None of those bitches could make you feel as good as I will if you’d just let me.”

“I’m not interested.”

“Come on, Daddy. Take me home with you. I’ll show you a good time.”

Kevin didn’t bother to answer. The guy was too drunk, too high, and too focused on his personal agenda to accept Kevin’s refusal. Retreat was his best option.

He took a couple of steps back, but before he could make his escape he bumped into another shirtless body. His pursuer took advantage of this by plastering his tiny, almost naked frame to Kevin’s body.

Jesus Christ. Was everybody but him allergic to clothes in this place?

As horny as Kevin was, the young guy’s proposition didn’t appeal to him in the slightest. Looked like it was safe to add twinks to the growing list of types he wasn’t attracted to.

He shook off the persistent kid and proceeded to shoulder and push his way to the exit.

Kevin wasn’t quite ready for another anonymous hook-up like the one he’d had at the Manhattan sex shop, but after a few weeks he’d decided to check out some of the gay clubs in Philly.

It only took him about five hours to decide he was way out of his element. The horde of sexy, sweaty male bodies, the smell of sex and the pheromones permeating the air didn’t quite manage to make up for the extremely loud music and the sense of cheapness attached to random hook-ups. Even talking to the twink had felt cheap to Kevin, not intense and exciting like his encounter with the Pretty Thug.

Lord,
Kevin thought.
You need to stop comparing all guys to him.

Despite it being a rather muggy summer night, Kevin was able to breathe easier the moment he walked out the door. He straightened his shoulders and absently scratched clubs in general off his mental list of places where he could meet a potential boyfriend.

He started his pick-up truck and put the air conditioner on. While he waited for the interior to cool down he thought about his failed attempts in the past couple of months. Bars, clubs, speed-dating… he had a problem with all of them. Most places were meat markets with a total lack of substance. Was it too much to want to connect with someone before jumping into bed with them? Kevin didn’t think so, but some guy almost kicked him out of his car the one time Kevin dared to ask that question.

He took a deep breath and put his truck in gear, all along telling himself this wasn’t another wasted night. He’d learned something, after all. Now he knew that guys wearing makeup didn’t do it for him, and that he didn’t want to have sex in the back room of a gay club. He wanted to get laid, but he didn’t have to settle for some anonymous tryst with a dude that wasn’t quite done growing his dick. He could hold off a bit longer. He could hold off until he met someone who drove him out of his mind with desire in the same way the guy from the sex shop had.

He was running out of options, though. If that online dating site he signed up for didn’t pan out soon, he’d have no choice but to admit it might be a little too late to do something about his recently confirmed homosexuality.

CHAPTER FIVE

12:47 P.M.

Even though Kevin had been adamant about punctuality, the guy was almost twenty minutes late.

Not a good start.

Such blatant disregard for his schedule and limited free time didn’t sit well with Kevin. Not when he’d had to start working at four o’clock in the morning just so he could have a lunch date before heading to his second job in the city. He didn’t have to be at the construction site until five o’clock, but he was tired and cranky, and if Mr. Inconsiderate didn’t show up in the next three minutes he’d just order a gyro and eat it on his way to the train station. Might as well head over to New York City a little earlier and stop by that community college he’d been researching. See if he could register for the blueprint course he needed to take.

Kevin took a sip of water and glanced around the diner. It was located forty minutes away from his hometown in New Jersey and he wasn’t expecting to see any familiar faces, but it always paid to be extra careful. He even had a cover story ready in the event he ran into some acquaintance: a meeting with a client about some side work. Not because he had issues with being seen with another man, but because his family needed to find out about Kevin being gay on his own time and terms. He wouldn’t have it any other way.

Twelve forty-nine and Vaughn Miller, the third of the five “perfect matches” the computerized system of getyourflameon.com had found for him, had yet to show up.

So far, Kevin’s three-month membership had gotten him two failed dates, a few lewd direct messages and a bunch of wink smileys from potentially interested candidates. A bit disturbing, as Kevin had refused to post a picture and there was nothing particularly intriguing or fascinating about his profile. Yet plenty of guys seemed to be “into” him.

He closed his eyes briefly and tried to remember who was next on the list; the accountant from Newark or the tanning salon owner from Parsippany. Neither prospect seemed promising, but the $49.95 fee Kevin paid for the service was not refundable. He’d never renew it, but he wanted to get as much as he could while his membership was still active.

Kevin crossed his legs at his ankles and looked out the window in an attempt to see if the guy had at least made it to the parking lot. He wasn’t all that eager to see Vaughn Miller. Considering the two “matches” he’d already met were far from perfect, Kevin wasn’t really banking on anything coming out of this date either. But he hated to sit around on his ass and he hated to waste time and he especially hated it when people were inconsiderate.

“Well, hello there! Are you Kevin? But
of course
you are. That’s why you’re here waiting, right where you said you’d be, and wearing a dark blue shirt, which means you have to be.”

Kevin’s head snapped toward the direction of the door just in time to see the dumbfounded diner hostess rush after a big, tall guy dressed in Easter colors.

“Excuse me, sir,” the hostess said. “May I help you with anything?”

“I’m meeting someone,” Vaughn said without looking at her. “We don’t need you, girlfriend. You can go back to your place.” He dismissed the poor girl with a rude movement of his hand. “
Love
the shirt. It matches your eyes.”

Shit.

Kevin barely stifled a groan. He should have made his escape when he had the chance.

He got up from the corner booth seat he was occupying with the intention of shaking the newly arrived guy’s hand. Instead he found himself surrounded by arms that were covered by long pale green sleeves. He was also wearing a yellow and green sheer scarf and incredibly tight tweed pants. In August. Was the guy crazy or what?

“I’m Vaughn, by the way,” he said after kissing both of Kevin’s cheeks. “Your date.”

“Nice meeting you,” Kevin muttered, incapable of returning the hug and almost pushing the guy away from him. He flopped down in his seat and gestured to the one across from him before Vaughn even entertained the idea of joining him. “Please ….”

“Gladly.”

Kevin watched in absolute horror as Vaughn put his purse down on the booth seat and crossed his arms on top of the table. Why the hell was the man carrying a handbag?

Kevin looked around frantically, and almost slid under the table when he noticed Vaughn had managed to attract the other patrons’ attention.

Wonderful.

“Would you like to drink something first or can we just order?” Kevin pushed the menu toward Vaughn. The sooner they ate, the sooner Kevin would be able to run out of the diner.

“Lord, but you’re handsoooooome!”

And Vaughn wasn’t.

Not that Kevin was the shallow type or totally hooked on physical appearance, but this guy looked nothing like his picture. He had to be close to fifty, and he was… well, he was a fruit. Total pansy.

“Thank you.”

Kevin checked his phone for messages. Hopefully his kids, his parents or his ex-wife would have an emergency and he’d have an excuse to get away from Mr. Loud and Flashy.

“So tell me.” Vaughn covered Kevin’s hand with one of his big, sweaty paws and caressed him softly. “Are you a top or a bottom?”

Kevin’s jaw almost hit the table surface.

“
Excuse me
?”

“Sorry if I’m coming on too strong, but no need to waste time on pleasantries if we aren’t compatible, right?”

Right.

Of course.

Made perfect sense.

Everybody knew compatibility was measured by preferred sexual roles. Silly little details such as similar personalities or kindred spirits had nothing to do with it, and apparently no one knew it better than the gays.

Kevin took a deep breath, refusing to believe the shallow guys he’d met so far represented the entire single gay community. Not that he had anything against mind-blowing, earth-shattering sex. Hell, he was looking forward to it. But there had to be something more substantial than physical release.

Gays married and raised kids together these days. They cared about mortgages and 401k plans and they started college funds for their children’s education. That was the type of man Kevin was hoping to meet when he signed up for the dating website. He wasn’t actively looking for a relationship. His life was too hectic to even think about getting serious with anyone. But he wanted to get his feet wet, and he figured he could benefit from socializing with gay guys who had their shit together at the same time. It wasn’t easy starting a whole new life at his age. He needed some damn guidance.

For the thousandth time in the past few years he wished he could talk to his best friend about his reality. He’d been especially tempted the few occasions he found himself attracted to a particular guy, but he never said anything. He doubted Paul, who’d been divorced three times and still chased girls at thirty-six, would ever understand Kevin’s sudden new preference.