Discovering April (35 page)

I feel the wind from a car narrowly missing me once again before I’m weaving through the cars stuck at the next light. I feel their stares, taste their judgment, but I don’t care. My eyes are locked onto that Jeep at the next light ahead and I sprint out once again into an intersection. I’ve just reached the safety of the first car when I see Jared’s car shift into park and his door swing open. Climbing out of the car, his face is hard as he walks a few steps towards me.

“Jared!” I scream breathlessly through the rain.

“April, have you lost your mind? What the hell do you think you are doing?” he screams, his arms wide, indicating the traffic.

I stop a few steps away, leaving some space between us. “Chasing after you!” I scoff sarcastically, leaning my hands on my knees trying to catch my breath. “Jared, I know you didn’t wait this long just to leave me!”

“You left me, remember?” he stubbornly shoots back.

“That’s not fair! I was there every
single
day! I washed you, I held your hand, I read to you, talked to you. I never left you, not once—not to eat, not to sleep, not even to shower! I even pulled vomit from the back of your throat!” I scream over the honks that are beginning to start as we block traffic. “Now, I miss ten minutes and you want to punish me and go all Casper the ghost on me! That’s not fair! That’s not fair at all! You want to know why I saw him?” His face is expressionless, waiting for me to respond. “I told him that we were over. Done! I told him that he was half the man that you’ll ever be, even unconscious. And that was before you woke up!” I take a deep breath, quickly processing my next words. “You once told me life is all about choices. Well, Jared I’m here— I chose you!”

He opens his mouth to say something, but I interrupt again. “I know you’re scared. You’re afraid of losing me like you lost your parents. But it’s not going to happen! I’m right here! I choose you, idiot! It’s
you
who is too scared to take it!”

“Don’t turn this around on me!” he screams.

Someone honks behind us, more persistently this time. I whip around. “Go the fuck around, asshole!”

“Did you just curse?!” he asks me with a smirk.

“I’m trying to have a Goddamned moment here!” I state, still trying to catch my breath.

“April, why did you chase after me?”

“Because, Jared… I love you. I fucking love you, okay? You are the only person that sees the real me. The only one that makes me feel alive again, the only person to give me the world and asks for nothing in return. I will spend the rest of my life trying to be half the woman you deserve. I made my choice Jared. What is the choice that will define you?”

“You love me?” he whispers in disbelief.

I see his award-winning smile again and I know. He grabs the soggy loop on my jeans and pulls me against him. I reach up to his face and pull his lips down onto mine and kiss him like I never want to let him go. It isn’t until I hear yet another honk behind me that I pull a hand away to give them the finger. Jared grabs my obscene-gesturing hand and pulls it down inside his.

“Are you ready to get out of here?” he whispers when he finally pulls his lips away, resting his forehead on mine.

“Yes!” I whisper excitedly.

“What are you waiting for? Let’s go!” he says, hopping into his Jeep.

I dash around the other side and hop in, leaning over to kiss him one more time before he puts the car into drive and pulls away.

“Where were you going?” I finally ask, glancing back to the boxes in the trunk.

“What? Oh, you mean the boxes?” He smiles. “Those are for work.”

“You tricked me!” I punch him in the arm.

“I didn’t tell you what they were. You made an assumption.” He breaks eye contact with the road to flash me another smile.

I fold, settling my cold, wet body into the seat of his Jeep as he veers onto the highway.

“Where are we going?” I finally ask.

“Wherever you want.”

“I think I want some donuts!”

“But, it’s raining out.”

“I’m sorry, I thought you were a free spirit. The old Jared I used to know wouldn’t let a little thing like rain stop him from making love to his girlfriend on a picnic table.”

He looks over at me with that sexy smirk of his before gunning it and zooming off down the highway.

One Year Later
…

“OH CRAP!” I HEAR Jared mutter, climbing up the stairs to the attic. Glancing over at him from our bed sprawled with open anatomy books and dozens of post-it notes, he meets my eyes and shrugs. “I can’t find Jinx,” He pauses, noticing me deep into my studies before he continues, “I’ll go next door again!”

I roll my eyes as he turns around to head back downstairs. We sold my old house months ago when I moved in with Jared, but I guess Jinx doesn’t seem to agree with our decision. Our poor new neighbors have gotten the fright scared out of them on more than one occasion when Jinx seems to pop up out of nowhere.

Looking around our little master suite, I can’t help but think how proud I am of Jared. I thought selling his house would be the better route. My house needed so much work, but he spruced it up, even fixed that pesky door. It sold almost immediately and for more than what we were hoping for, too. He fixed his attic up to a master suite of all masters, and his old room is now the future nursery and the old lavender room (now it’s maroon) is my study. Running my fingers through my hair, I try to get back to my studies. The sale of the house gave me plenty of money for tuition. After the accident, I needed to take a few classes over again and with my grades, I was actually able to get into nursing school!

The accident changed my life a lot. It showed me what was really important. I glance over at the picture on the nightstand as my thoughts wander away from my studies. Situated on it beside my lamp is a funny picture of Jared and I with our wedding party on our wedding day. It was under the canopy of autumn leaves at the top of the orchard as the sun sets over the meadow behind us. It’s my favorite picture ever. Jared and I are at the center with the biggest smiles on our face. Eric has his arm around my shoulder with Stacey beside him looking as flawless as ever. Beside Jared, Ro and Mack are giggling to each other—who would have thought Mack was enough man to get the infamous Ro to settle down. At the end Zach is in his own tailored suit, handing a drink to Chloe.

The accident also showed me that I want to make a difference. There needs to be more people like Tammie in the world. There should be more people who care. That’s why I decided to try nursing school, and maybe medical school—who knows what the future holds.

“Look who I found! Only on the porch this time. Didn’t have to wake anyone up!” he jokes, placing an extra chubby looking Jinx on the corner of the bed before climbing into bed beside me. Jared leans over and kisses me on the forehead before rolling into the covers. Like I was saying, who knows what the future holds?

All I know is this:

Life is all about choices and moments – and I have to say that I’m pretty happy with mine.

DON’T LEAVE ME.

I won’t
.

That’s the last thing I remember. Well, almost— the horrible pain will be forever at the forefront of my mind. It was like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. Imagine a ton of wasps stinging your brain at the same time. That’s only half of what it felt like. I remember struggling to open my eyes to look at her. To see her beautiful green eyes one last time, to touch her soft platinum and pink hair; I would give anything.

Instead, I’m like a fly on the wall. I almost didn’t believe it when I woke up. Well, technically I didn’t wake… fully. My mind came to, and I heard the beeping of my heart monitor and I suddenly felt the bed sink in around me. Then a pleasant voice excused herself and that’s when I felt it. April was here.

She never left me
.

I knew it was her. She smelled a little like the hospital, but the air about her still had that flowery smell of her perfume. I relaxed a little, knowing she was here and I remember taking my time to gather my energy to open my eyes. I felt her eyes staring at me like some museum artifact. That’s when I couldn’t take it anymore, that was the first time I tried. I imagined my eyes opening and seeing that stray tear making its way down her pale cheeks. I would wipe it away telling her that it’s okay, I’m here.

That never happened. No matter how hard I tried, my eyes never opened. My hands never moved. It was like my body wasn’t listening to me. I tried until I heard the door open again and I paused to listen.

“Is there any brain activity?” I recognize Apey’s voice immediately and everything freezes. For two reasons. One: If I can’t see her, hearing her is just as beautiful. Two: I want to hear the answer.

“There is always brain activity, but it doesn’t mean he will wake up, sweetheart. I’ve seen this a lot…” the soft voice replied.

“I know, I watch T.V. Some people in a coma even open their eyes, but it doesn’t mean they are awake.”

No! I’m awake! I’m here!
I try and scream with all my might. That’s when I feel fingers on my wrist. I can feel!

“You’re a smart girl, April.” There are a few seconds of silence before I hear, “Are you ready?”

I feel the bed release as she lifts her weight off the bed.
No! Don’t leave me!
As if reading my mind, I feel her breath on my face. I breathe in the scent of her shampoo again.

“Jared Hoffman, I love you. Do you hear me?” she whispers in my ear.

I can hear you!
I wanted to scream. Actually, I wanted to climb up to the roof and scream,
She loves me! She finally said it!
To the entire world, but that doesn’t look like it’s happening anytime soon. “I fucking love you and you are a fighter! Don’t you dare fucking die on me! Don’t you dare fucking leave me!”

I feel her poke me in the chest as she finishes before I hear a thump and then a jostling of wheels. She needs a wheel chair? Why? Is she okay? Did I hurt her? Maybe she’s paralyzed like me? -- Is that what I am? Paralyzed? No, this must be what they call a coma. They say people are conscious and can hear what is going on around them. Why? Why can’t I move? Will I ever be able to move again? Hold April again? I finally got her, she finally said she loved me, and now this! Why? Why did she wait until now? Why does this happen to me now? I feel like my life is finally getting started. I finally have everything that I’ve ever wanted. I finally have April Landau, and now is when everything goes to shit? I can’t help but wonder why. Is it something I have done? Or is this for the best? Is it true you never really get what you want? Will this be another one of those things just out of my reach?

My mind reels on this for what seems like an eternity in the silence. The silence and the darkness. No. I wont let that happen. I won’t be another case of lost love. I finally have my love and I will do anything to finally be with her. That’s just what I am going to do.

That was ages ago. April has been at my side the entire time. She eats, sleeps and showers here. Just like she is keeping her promise to never leave me, I’m holding up mine by trying to wake up… completely.

I have no concept of time, being that all I see is darkness. The only thing that gives me a glimpse is when someone brings Apes some food. Otherwise, I end up counting the minutes between my next check up from a nurse. Sometimes April talks to me, but I think she feels silly. She told me she would torture me by reading my favorite book, Twilight. I wanted to burst out laughing, knowing she’s trying to force me to wake up. The laughter never came. As it turns out, by the end of the book I found myself not only interested, but actually wondering what happens next. God, I’ll die if she ever finds out.

Today is different; I can feel it.

“Girl, I brought you some of my extra scrubs. I need to wash those clothes. If I see you in those jeans one more time, I’m going to have you quarantined!” Tammie’s soft voice carries over to my ears from the door.

“You’re the boss, Tamms!” I can almost see her smirking through my closed eyes.