Discovering April (36 page)

“And please stop distracting Edgar. Sharon is complaining that her floor isn’t getting the proper mopping it deserves at night. I know, I know, Sharon is a little neurotic, but I think it might also be because he spends two hours at lunch playing Go Fish with you!”

I feel a disturbance on the bed by my feet. I think she may have propped up her feet because her voice is a little smug when she finally speaks. “You know I can’t help it if I’m popular.”

“Oh, yea, real popular!” I could almost see Tammie’s eyes roll dramatically.

“Okay, okay… I’ll cut him down to an hour tonight! Happy?”

“Yes, you know you pull a lot of strings staying here… don’t make it a burden or someone will kick you out!”

“I know.” Her voice drops with the weight of the meaning.

“Good, now let’s get to that shower! Chop chop!” she calls before I hear the door click shut. Apes sighs before I hear her footsteps drag towards the shower.

I can’t tell how much time passes before I hear the door open again. The footsteps are heavier than any nurse. Then the scent hits me: lumber. It’s Eric.

I hear him sigh; it must be the sight of me. I can only imagine what I look, like lying here in a bed for so many weeks. I must have wasted away to nothing being fed intravenously.

The chair scratches the floor as he brings it closer to the bed. He sighs once more before he actually speaks.

“I tried to get here sooner, but the dorms are keeping us all busy. I want you to know that the company is safe. I took over in your absence, the bills are paid, and everything is fine, brother.” I feel the warmth of his calloused hand against mine. Eric has stepped up in my absence, and there’s a rush of relief. I’ve worked too hard for something like a little stupid coma to ruin my company that I built up from what my father had left me. That’s when I hear the bathroom door shut closed. It has an extra click than the main door. I didn’t notice the water from the shower turning off.

Her soft footsteps make their way towards her chair on the right hand side of my bed. If I could control my breathing, I think that I would have held a breath. I know these two don’t exactly get along. I can’t seem to figure out why. I mean, Eric is a tough guy, but I can’t see why she doesn’t see through that rugged exterior. It makes me wonder if something else has happened. The chair creaks under her weight as she takes her seat beside me.

“April…” Eric hoarsely whispers. I almost think he may be crying. “I’m sorry I misjudged you.”

“Me?” I almost feel like I shouldn’t be listening, like this isn’t meant for my ears.

“I thought you’d be the first person to leave him…” He pauses, taking a deep breath. “But you… you’ve never left, not once—not even to shower! It’s us that haven’t been here for him.”

“Nonsense. Someone had to run the company. We gotta pay for these medical bills somehow!”

Are my two favorite people joking around?

“I was so mean to you…”

So something did happen. What could he have possibly done?

“Jared loved you so much, I thought you’d destroy him—like my ex destroyed me. I was there for her after her break up and I thought we were in love, until I caught her in bed with her ex.”

I told him that would never happen. I told him that she wasn’t Nicole
. There is a long pause before I hear April’s voice again.

“Loves.”

“What?”

“You said loved. He loves me—he’s not dead!” April corrects him and I wish I could kiss her. She knows; she gets it. I’m not dead.

“Sorry, I was talking past tense because I
was
skeptical of you. I told him not to be a rebound.”

Oh lord, this is finally getting out
.

“That was you? Putting those words in his mouth?” April is finally connecting the dots.

“I just wanted to make sure he was thinking with the right head!” I feel Eric’s smile at his cleverness.

“I’d never hurt Jared,” she quickly quips back.

“I see that now.” His voice shakes like he’s moving his head. “I’m sorry.”

The silence grows, but I don’t feel like it’s awkward. Maybe they are both just looking at me for some ultimate dramatic awakening. I try and move my fingers, scream, kick, punch, anything. But once again, nothing ends up moving.

Suddenly, I hear Eric’s heavy boots hit the floor again. “Okay, I gotta get back to the office.”

“Okay, uh, thanks for coming,”

The bed creaks under his weight and I hear Eric’s voice in a loud whisper against my ear.

“I was wrong. She’s a keeper. Wake up, for
her,
man.”

His heavy boots make their way to the door and it opens before I hear, “Take care of our boy, April.”

“I will.”

The door shuts.
I will
. The words echo in my ears. She does. I’ve felt her wiping me down; the scent of my soap fills my nose and I know she’s trying to keep me, me. I appreciate that more than she will ever know. With all the strength that I have, I try to move again, fighting against everything spinning inside of me. I feel as if I’m running a million miles towards a light that I never reach. No matter how fast I sprint, it’s always just past my fingertips. I try until I feel like I’m sweating. If I could pass out from mental effort, I think I’m about to. That’s when I stop and try to get my bearings right so I can try again. Instead, unconsciousness hits me and darkness overcomes my thoughts.

HEELS. I THINK I hear heels. My mind finally comes to and I hear April’s voice. “Mom?”

Oh lord, her mother is here. Why is this getting more and more embarrassing? Mrs. Landau was good friends with my mother. She is the one that planned the funeral arrangements when I just couldn’t deal. For that, I will be eternally grateful. But this? She must be seeing my parents all over again, watching me lie here, unconscious. I know what she’s going to say even before she pulls April aside. She wants what’s best for her, and she doesn’t think that I’m it… not anymore, at least.

All I hear is hushed whispers, and my ears are straining to pick up even a word to figure out what they are talking about.

“I know, I know! I don’t need to hear it from another person. I’ve heard it all before. I’m wasting my life away, I’m going to regret this… but Mom, I will not lose him, not again.” I hear April state with conviction, loud enough for me to hear.

A part of me is happy. The other part wishes she would give up. What if I never wake? This is not the life I would have wanted for her. I can die of guilt, finally making her have feelings for me, only to leave her like the rest of them. But I would not want her to waste her precious life sitting here beside a man that will never wake up. She deserves better than that. She deserves a man that can treat her right and right now, I’m not it. I hear her phone chime yet again. I know who it is. It’s not Ro’s ringtone so I know it must be him. Ever since we saw him at the movies, he’s been texting her. I saw the look in his eyes. It’s a sick, twisted kind of love. I would be happy if she moved on, with anyone but him. The way he treated her and just dropped her like yesterday’s soggy newspaper – no, she deserves better than that loser. There is no way she could possibly go back to him. She has more sense than that! The new April that I helped to shape has more sense than that! There is no way she’ll stand for that anymore. Yet, the texts keep coming. I wonder if she responds. Is that why he keeps it up? Is that why he hasn’t stopped? My mind is reeling when I feel my body begin to contract. Something is in my throat. I can feel it, but I don’t have the control over my body to cough.
No
. I can’t breathe. My body is losing air and I feel myself convulse with the lack of oxygen. No, this is not how it ends!

“TAMMIE!” I hear April’s desperate scream. Someone is pulling something out of my mouth, I feel my throat constrict back after it’s released from its restraint.

“What are you doing?” Tammie’s soft voice screams.

“He can’t breathe!” Aprils voice is getting more and more desperate.

“Don’t touch that! Let me do my job!”

“Tammie!” The terror in her voice scares even me. “HELP HIM!”

There’s a pause. I stop convulsing but I think my mouth is open, gasping for air like a fish out of water. “TAMMIE!” I hear vaguely again as the darkness is once again taking over my thoughts. This is it. I pray that April is okay. That she finally finds the love she deserves.

Something scrapes the back of my throat and pulls away. Instinctively, my body coughs and gags before I feel my breathing turn to normal. The beeping on the machine has slowed again, and my mind as well as my body is frozen. What just happened?

“How did you know how to do that?” Tammie whispers. So it was April that saved me?

“Seemed like common sense. Sounded like he was choking.” I hear her say.

My April saved my life, again. The first time was when she squeezed my jacket, seeing the truck veering into our lane. I never would have seen it until it was too late. Some may argue it was already too late, but at least she is alive. If I hadn’t sped up, we would have hit the back tire and who knows where she would be now.

“Uh, let me get a doctor to double check him.” I hear the door click shut again.

“Oh, honey.” That’s Mrs. Landau’s voice. She’s still here? She witnessed this.
Oh God
.

“Mom… Mom. He can’t … I won’t,” I hear her head shaking as her fists clench into the blankets at my side.

“I know, honey. You love him.”

“I love him,” April whispers back to her, confirming her observation and causing mine to ache in confliction.

She loves me, but what am I now? Can I ever be what she wants me to be? If I ever awake will I be … me? Will I be paralyzed? Will I be all she needs from me?

Her phone chimes yet again. My heart constricts in pain; someone else must feel the same way.

I feel her almost before I see her. Her blonde hair swishes behind her as she turns from the sidewalk onto the walkway to my house. This girl with the bright green eyes is making her way towards me. She stops right in front of me and peeks inside my box of toys. I suddenly feel self-conscious about my dorky dinosaurs and I place them on the porch beside me.

“Hi, I’m April! I live next door.” She extends her hand out for mine.

“Uh, I’m Jared.” I take her soft little hand as I stand up to look her in the eye. This girl with the green eyes is going to get me in trouble, I can feel it
.

“Go, April, go!” I scream, staring up at my best friend making her way up the maze of three branches. George’s face is set in a permanent grimace as he watches her glide up towards the top, as he dared her to do. He should have known better. He’s finally getting what he deserves to be showed up by a girl. My eyes flick back to April; she’s almost at the top now. Her arm extends, reaching for one of the top branches as the screaming around us grows louder. Suddenly, the branch crunches under her hand and I see it breaking off from the tree. My heart freezes in my chest as I watch her small form tumble out of the tree and smack into the ground before me. My mind doesn’t register that I’m running to her side until I trip over a tree root and fall to my knees in front of her.

“April! Apes!”