Dismantling Evan (42 page)

“WE ARE JUST GOING OFF clues and what we know about Gav. What we think he might be thinking,” Brody whispers to Nikki, Ash, Lia, and me.

The patrol car, sitting out in front of the house, has two uniformed officers in it. The morning sunlight and dew reflect off the grass as I look down trying to avoid locking eyes with them. I turn back to the group as we huddle in front of Brody’s car. I speak just above a whisper. “We have to keep it quiet.”

Brody picks up from there in the same tone and does a quick glance in the direction of the patrol car. “If they find out, they will be all over that school. When he does show...” Brody pinches his eyes tightly as he contemplates a bad ending. “If they go at him, he might turn it on himself.” His voice hitches on the last word.

Standing alongside of him, I lean into him and place my hand on his back, letting him know that I am there.

“He won’t,” Asher says confidently. He jumps up and blows hot air into his overlapping fists before saying, “We will find him before anyone knows he is on campus, Brody.”

“Yeah, we know that campus inside out. We have enough people to spread out,” Nikki says, looking at each of us.

I’m not fully convinced. There are only five of us and it is a big campus. “There are too many places he could hide.”

“But he isn’t hiding anymore,” Lia says, matter-of-factly. “He is going there to make a point.”

She is right and her pointed truth makes me even more terrified. Chilled air creeps into my legs then settles, festering in the pit of my stomach.

“I don’t think you all should go in today,” Mom says as she looks at each of our worn faces.

“Finals start next week. We have to be there,” I say, trying to sound convincing.

“Yeah, Mr. Thompson said something about extra study materials he planned to pass out the week before.” Nikki adds.

“Yeah, he hasn’t passed them out yet.” I adjust my backpack onto both shoulders.

Mrs. Ferguson and Mrs. Vega are standing in the kitchen talking with Asher quietly and Lia is hugging her mom.

Brody walks back into the living room with his backpack slung over his shoulder. I nod at him. “You ready?”

He barely bobs his head at my question than looks at Mom. “Mrs. Phillips. Do you think you could stay with my mom today? She has really taken to you and you seem to calm her. Just until we get home.”

Mom quickly places her hand on Brody’s arm and squeezes it. “You don’t need to ask. Of course I will.”

Brody nods graciously. “Thank you.”

He moves away from us and goes into the kitchen.

Mom says something to Nikki and me about trying to get home early if we can; like she is encouraging us to skip and get home. I’m focused on Brody who is talking to his mother across the room though so much of it doesn’t register.

Mrs. Ferguson looks up at Brody. “They are going to tell you to come home. They won’t let you stay on campus; you are suspended.”

Brody hovers a good foot and a half over her. “Ma, Spencer was back yesterday. If they let him go back, why can’t I?” He shakes his head. “Look, I don’t want to argue with you. I love you.”

He leans in and hugs her and she wraps her arms around him the best she can. He doesn’t linger there long. He glances at me, and heads for the door. We all fall in behind him as we leave the house.

Nikki and Asher get into the Jeep and Brody, Lia, and I get into the Mustang.

“They are watching us,” Lia says as we back out of the car. I know she is talking about the patrol unit. I look at them once, as we back out of the driveway, then quickly shift my gaze down into my lap.

“Let them watch,” Brody says as he puts the car into drive.

When we pull into the parking lot, there are already quite a few students walking around the campus .

“What is everyone doing here so early?” Lia asks.

I shake my head and look at Brody. He looks just as dumbfounded.

We park and Asher pulls in right next to us. Nikki jumps out of the car first and she has a look on her face that could melt ice. We get out of Brody’s car and I head straight for her as she stands arms crossed in front of Asher’s Jeep.

“What?”

She looks around her and waits until Asher and Brody have joined us, “Fucking pep rally. Who plans a fucking pep rally the week before finals?” she hisses.

I’m not getting why she is mad still.

Asher’s face looks just as concerned as Nikki’s as he whispers through his teeth and looks around for prying ears, “What if he knows about the pep rally? What if that is where he is going?”

“What if he is already there?” Lia asks, anxiously.

We search each other’s faces for answers, starting to panic. Brody tries to get a handle on us, “Okay, hold on. This is what we are going to do. Ash, you take one entrance to the auditorium, Nikki you take the side entrance. There are only two ways in. Lia, you and Evan mill around inside the auditorium.”

He looks down at his watch. “Pep rallies start at 8:30 so they are already letting people in. You need to look through the crowds for him all right. I’m going to search the courtyard. If Gavin doesn’t enter from the south where Asher is, he will have to come through the courtyard. Deputy Ralph always hangs around there and I can’t risk him finding Gav before me.”

Asher brings up a good point, “If the deputy sees you, he is going to call you in to the office. Say you’re on campus.”

Brody looks at each of us, then gets out his cell phone and starts punching something in, “He won’t, trust me. You have your cell phones?”

All of a sudden our phones ping haphazardly.

“Text where you are if you see him and we will all come to you. Okay?”

We all nod and Asher, Nikki and Lia quickly peel off to get to their locations. Brody starts to walk away and I take his hand, keeping him here with me. “Brody.”

He looks back at me, the dark circles under his eyes emphasizing his worry.

“I love you.”

He rests his hands on either side of my face, kisses me chastely, and whispers, “I love you too.”

By the time I open my eyes, he is walking away.

“Evan,” Lia calls after me and I swiftly turn, catching up and blinking back my idle tears.

When Lia and I get to the entrance of the auditorium, we hear cheerleaders already rallying inside. I think of Celine cheering and the black circle Gavin had around her face in that year book. Lia and I look at each other knowingly and split up.

Suddenly, my phone vibrates. I look down and read the text:

Nikki:
Patrols just showed up.

It vibrates again as another message shows below hers:

Asher:
One right next to me.

Fuck. With them one step behind us like this, tracking anywhere Gavin might go... I don’t have a good feeling about this.

A loud yelling comes from the stage and I jerk in reaction to get a better look. Please don’t be Gavin.

It isn’t. It’s Chad and Spencer acting like stupid jocks, fist pumping as the marching band starts to play.

Students start filtering in faster, pushing me out of the way. I make my way down to the landing in front of the stage to try and get a better vantage point into the auditorium seats. I scan from top to bottom.

My phone vibrate again:

Brody:
Anybody?

Reading into his coded text, I respond:

Evan:
No

A chain of ‘no’s from everyone else follows, except for Lia. I scan the auditorium again, looking for her now as I type quickly.

Evan:
Lia?

No response.

Suddenly, the yelling from the athletes on the stage changes, turns louder, angry.

My phone vibrates:

Lia:
I can’t get to him. He’s on the stage.

I spin around to face the stage and see jerseyed football players peeling away from the center of the floor. Once the layers of players and cheerleaders and the principal, coaches, and staff are teetering at the edges, there is only one person left standing in the middle of the auditorium stage - Gavin.

He holds a gun in one hand and his backpack in the other. He stares blankly out into the sea of students that are just now figuring out that something isn’t right.

One of the coaches makes a move toward Gavin, instantly he raises the gun up high making the coach freeze. “I don’t want to hurt anybody!” Gavin’s voice strains as he tries to yell loud enough for everyone to hear. “I just want you to see. I need to make you see.”

Brody clambers onto the stage and moves swiftly around the frightened athletes to reach for the gun in Gavin’s hand. Gavin yells and the gun goes off twice, setting a frenzy of screams and scattering bodies. I can’t see what has happened. The principal and some of the staff are rushing toward Gavin and Brody. Two patrols push past me, “Move! Get out of the way! Get out of the way!”

But, I can’t move. I am frozen watching everything in slow motion. My legs suddenly melt beneath me and everything around me starts to spin. All I hear is yelling and screaming, the sirens, the deputy’s radio static right next to my ear, then his urgent words, “Shots fired! Shots fired! We have one down! One down!”

More screaming. Celine yells, “Brody! Oh my God Spencer!”

The heavy breathing of Deputy Ralph is in my ear as he leans closer to me.

“Evan! Oh my God! Evan! Is she okay?” Lia shrieks and sobs all at once

I can’t open my eyes and everything is spinning in the darkness I can’t escape. I try to move my mouth and I think I do but I’m not sure; no sound comes from me.

The sound of running all around me, then the sound of sirens from an open door somewhere to my right. To my left, there is struggling on the stage, then Gavin’s stiff yet emotionally charged voice yelps, screeches, then howls, “No, don’t touch me! Don’t touch me! Brody please don’t....”

Yelling, “Move! Follow the officers out!”

A small hand is on me, and I center all my being on the touch, trying to use it to make me open my eyes.

OPEN YOUR FUCKING EYES EVAN!

“Evan!” Nikki cries. Her hand touches my hair, then disappears.

“Move back!” the deputy barks.

“You have to help her! Wait, where are they taking them! You can’t arrest him!” Her voice trails off.

Gavin’s voice is muffled as he tries to cry out, “Brody! Evan!” He growls like an animal and screeches terribly, but it gets further away. They are taking him!

A commanding voice barks, “You need to leave Miss. File out of the auditorium now!”

“Nikki, we have to go! Lia!” Asher sobs.

“File out now!” two more voices bark in tandem and the sounds of screaming and crying fade.

Wheels rattle across hard concrete, getting closer. They stop next to me. I’m lifted. Lia cries out my name in the distance. Nikki yells and Asher tells her to stop, that it isn’t going to help.

December 2013

Evan,

I hope you can read my hand writing. It is dark in the shed. Plus, my handwriting sucks anyway. (the reason why I type everything).

I know everyone is wondering why I left; why I ran. I don’t remember actually doing it. I just wound up in the work shed, sitting in the dark with my backpack next to me. I remember you and Brody arguing and I wanted to make sure everything was okay. I came out to check and I heard him say Dad was dead. I thought I heard him wrong and I asked him. The look on his face... You know how someone looks when they have said something that they shouldn’t have. Well, that was the look I saw and I knew it was true.

All I can figure is I had a seizure and got stuck in my own head.

I sat for a while, listening to everything around me, your parents talking to Mom, her sobbing, then silence as they went back into the house. The moon was so full and just starting to brighten. I started getting fidgety. Mom usually gives me some medicine at night to help with it and it was already past the time for it. I needed something to keep me busy. I had some extra printer paper in my backpack from the journal entries I printed.