Don't Make Me Beautiful (19 page)

She doesn’t move a muscle.
 
A piece of her says he doesn’t mean it as the kind of kiss she wants from him.
 
He’s pretending to be her brother.
 
He’s just being kind.
 
He’s trying to make her feel better.

And then his lips are gone.
 
She waits a few seconds and then opens her eyes.

His expression is serious as he stares at her.
 
“You didn’t turn your head.”

“Should I have?”
 
Embarrassment floods through her.
 
Was this a test that she just failed?

“Heck no.
 
Not if you want to kiss me.”

She smiles but her lips tremble.
 
More tears slip out.

“Why are you crying?” he whispers.

She can’t say.
 
There’s been enough embarrassment for one night.
 
For one lifetime, really.

“Is it because it was terrible?
 
Big disappointment?”

She shakes her head and whispers, “No.”

“Maybe I should do it again.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know.
 
To try and do better.”

“I mean … why are you kissing me at all?”
 
She can’t believe those words came out of her mouth.
 
His kiss has obviously opened the door between her thoughts and her lips, letting anything just spill out.

“Because you’re cute.
 
Because I want to.
 
Do I need another reason?”

She backs up, pulling her broken arm off him.
 
Coldness is entering her heart and shutting down the warmth that had started to build.
 
“That’s a lie.”

“What’s a lie?
 
That I want to kiss you?”

“No, that I’m cute.
 
Maybe that other part too.”

Brian very carefully picks up her broken arm and puts it back where it was, all the while staring into her eyes.
 
“You listen to me, you stubborn little thing … you can’t tell me what I think about you, okay?
 
That’s for me to decide.”

“There’s no way you could think I’m cute.
 
Not unless you’re blind.
 
And you drove a car, so I know you’re not.”

“I have twenty-twenty vision, thank you very much, and I can too think you’re cute.
 
You’re funny, smart, wicked terrible at cards even though you refuse to admit it, and you have a nice ass.
 
I add that all up and it equals cute to me.”

“I think I will take that job you offered me earlier,” she says, happiness filling her heart and making her feel like she can fly.

“Oh yeah?
 
Why the change of heart now?”

“Because.
 
You obviously can’t add.
 
I can’t imagine how much money you’ve lost over the years doing your own billing.”

Chapter Twenty-Seven

BRIAN COMES IN FROM THE workshop and stops in the doorway so he can watch Nicole working at his desk without her knowing.
 
Her broken arm is resting on the surface awkwardly as she runs the fingers of her free hand over the keyboard of his computer.
 
She’s been busy for the last couple days getting all his accounts put into a computer program she’s used before.

From behind, you’d never be able to tell she was nearly killed a week ago.
 
Her posture is pretty straight, her hair is covering the spots where chunks are missing, and her movements are smoother than they have been since he met her.

He knows her ribs still hurt, but they’re getting better.
 
Day by day, she improves.
 
The idea that she has a paying job seems to have inspired her.

Tonight will be another big test on her path to healing; Liam is due home in an hour.
 
She’s been fretting about it all day.
 
Brian has been too, but on a different level.
 
Like any parent of a young child would be, he’s worried that his son will either blurt out something terrible, or run away screaming in fear.
 
Brian is hoping that since his son has already seen her once, Nicole’s face won’t be nearly as shocking.
 
Helen is supposed to be preparing him for seeing her, and Brian’s sure she’ll also be coaching him on what to say.
 
The only issue is that Liam doesn’t always do what he’s told.

“Oh, hey,” she says, turning around, her face for a split second carrying an expression of fear.
 
“You snuck up on me.”
 
A smile comes, but it falters and then falls away.

Brian pushes off the doorframe and comes inside, shutting and locking the door behind him before coming into the living room.
 
“I like watching you.”

She tries to smile again but doesn’t quite pull it off.

“Is that creepy?” he asks, coming into the room and dropping onto the couch.

“Maybe a little.”

Brian nods, wanting to ask if it’s something John did but hating the idea of bringing his ghost into the room.
 
“How’s it going in that mess of stuff?” he asks, gesturing with his chin at the computer.

“Not bad, really.
 
You don’t really need me.
 
You were doing fine with paper records.”

Brian knows this is true, but if he admits it then he can’t very well convince her to stay and be his assistant.
 
“Bah.
 
I hate that stuff.
 
You’ll free me up to do more work and make more money.”

“Which you’ll need just to pay me,” she says, rolling her eyes.

“Yes, but the goal is to make more than I pay you, and you can’t forget to account for the lack of headache I’ll have trying to add and subtract all the time.”
 
He smiles, remembering the other night when he kissed her.
 
He hasn’t tried to do it again, but damn does he want to.

The damage to her face means nothing to him.
 
Something about her is so attractive, despite all of that.
 
He’s not sure if it’s her inner strength, the force that kept her alive in spite of everything that was done to her, or the fact that she needs him and makes him feel necessary … important … needed.
 
It probably doesn’t hurt that she has a rockin’ body that no amount of horrific abuse managed to change about her.
 
She needs quite of bit of meat on her bones, but even what she has is damn fine as far as he’s concerned.

He wishes he could get her to understand that, but all his efforts have fallen on deaf ears.
 
She will not accept the fact that he finds her attractive or that there’s anything about her that would make a man interested in her.
 
Listening to her talk, you’d think she was a sea monster or something.

“Why are you staring at me like that?” she asks.
 
She doesn’t sound mad about it or scared anymore.

“Because, I want to kiss you again. Seeing you do my accounting makes me all hot and bothered.”
 
He wiggles his eyebrows at her.

Her face goes pink as she turns around and shuffles some papers around, looking busy doing a whole lot of nothing.
 
“Shush. You’re embarrassing yourself.”

“I’m not the one with the red face.”
 
He loves making her flustered.
 
She gives the impression that she hasn’t played any flirting games in a long time, maybe ever.
 
It makes Brian want to do it all the time.

“I’m not listening to you right now,” she says, pulling out a sheet of paper and putting it down in front of the keyboard.
 
“I have work to do.”

The sound of a car door being slammed shut and footsteps running up the front walk comes through the front door.
 
Brian is looking at Nicole at the exact moment she hears the sounds.
 
Her whole body freezes, and the pink heat in her face disappears in an instant.
 
Now she’s as pale as a ghost.

“Oh my god,” she whispers, panic in her voice, “he’s here.”

Brian gets up from the couch and walks over to her, speaking in a calm voice.
 
“It’s just Liam … relax.”
 
Putting his hand on her shoulder, he massages it gently.
 
“He’s just a little kid.”

“But … but …”
 
She turns in her seat and grunts as she stands too fast for her ribs.
 
“He’ll see me!”
 
She tries to get around Brian, but he’s blocking her way.
 
He puts his hands on her upper arms.

“Of course he’s going to see you.
 
He lives here, just like you.”
 
Brian stares at her, trying to figure out what she’s thinking.
 
She looks like she’s afraid it’s John out there.

A little fist bangs on the door.
 
“Open up, Dad!
 
It’s me!
 
I’m hooooome!”
 
Then the doorbell goes bananas, ringing about ten times, the sound vibrating all over the room.

Nicole strains against Brian’s hold, still trying to go around him.
 
“But he can’t see me!
 
He’s afraid of me!”

“Babe.
 
Just relax, okay?
 
Everything’s going to be fine.”
 
He lets go of her, worried she’s going to think he’s manhandling her.

“It’s not going to be fine,” Nicole says, tears welling up in her eyes.
 
“I can’t do this!”
 
The paper she was holding in her hand flutters to the floor.

The sound of a key in the lock stops her next complaint in its tracks.
 
She shuts her mouth with a snap as the door begins to open.

Nicole steps sideways and positions herself behind Brian.

He turns to face the door, not moving away to expose her.
 
If this is how it needs to happen for her, he’s going to do whatever he can to help her out.
 
The one thing he won’t do is hide her away like she’s got something to be ashamed of.
 
Liam and Helen need to meet her right from the start and accept the fact that she’s a new member of the household, for as long as he can convince her to stay.

“Hi, Daddy!” says Liam, coming into the room.
 
He’s followed closely by Helen.
 
They both stop when they’re far enough into the room to see that Brian’s not alone.

“Hey, Li-Li!
 
Glad you’re back.”
 
Brian stays put, speaking as casually as possible.
 
“I want you to meet someone.”
 
He holds his hand out for his son, gesturing for him to come close.

“Mommy already told me that Briana is here,” the little boy says in a more subdued tone.
 
“I got her a present.”

Helen walks farther into the room, over her initial reticence.
 
“Sorry we came back early.
 
I have a ton of work to get done before I get on that plane and I can’t focus at all with Liam running around.” She looks down at their son.
 
“No offense, my love.”

“It’s okay.
 
Daddy always says I’m a handful and a half, so I understand.”

Helen looks up at Brian and smiles, only glancing briefly over his shoulder at the woman behind him.
 
“Where does he get this stuff?”

“I blame it on the television,” says Brian.
 
“Listen, I know you’re in a hurry, but I want you to meet … Briana.”

He looks over his shoulder and catches Nicole’s eye.
 
“Can I introduce you?”

Panic-stricken is the only way to describe what he sees there in her expression.
 
But she presses her lips together and nods once.

He winks to reassure her and then turns sideways to expose her to his family.
 
“Briana, I’d like you to meet my former wife, Helen, and my son, Liam.”

Brian watches first Nicole and then Helen closely.
 
Nicole’s eyes are darting around, looking at the door, Helen, him … but she doesn’t look at his son.
 
It’s almost as if she’s afraid.
 
He can practically feel her nervous vibes rolling off her body.
 
She wants to run.

Helen holds out her hand.
 
“It’s nice to meet you, Briana.”

Nicole puts her hand out and lets Helen take it.
 
“Nice to meet you too.
 
I’m … sorry …”
 
She looks down at the carpet and pulls her hand back.

“Sorry about what?”

Nicole shrugs.
 
“I don’t know,” she mumbles.

Helen stares at her for a few seconds.
 
Then she looks at Brian, her mouth set in a firm line.
 
“Bri, can you give us a few minutes alone, please?”

“Uh, no, I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” says Brian.

“I am.
 
Two minutes.
 
Take Liam outside and help him get all his stuff out of the trunk.”

Brian’s face burns as he realizes that he overestimated Helen’s ability to roll with this program.
 
Everything’s about to hit the fan and he’s not prepared for it.
 
He doesn’t know what to do to stop this freight train from coming down the track, and all he can think about is how horrible it’s going to be for Nicole.
 
He shouldn’t have done this to her, put her in this position.
 
He wants to thrash himself for being so insensitive.
 
But one look at his ex-wife’s face and he knows he needs to let her have her say.
 
Whatever it is, Liam is her son and this is his home.
 
He cannot disregard that like it doesn’t matter.