Don't Turn Back (Coming Home Book 1) (40 page)

An hour later, I pull off of the interstate to refill my gas tank. I grab something to drink, hoping it will help me remain awake for the remainder of my drive. I unlock the passenger side door and pick up my phone. I have no missed calls or texts, but decide to give Jennifer’s phone one more call, just in case she’s had time to cool off and maybe considering talking to me. Even if she did talk to me, would I really drive back to get her? This time, her phone rings and her voicemail allows me to leave a new message. That means she has listened to her previous messages, or she could have deleted them all without hearing anything I had to say.

I decide not to say anything and immediately hang up. At this point, I figure I might as well piss her off some more, so I call her phone at least a dozen more times. Still no answer. Finally, after a few more attempts to aggravate her, she finally picks up the phone.

“Ah, you stupid bitch. You finally decide to pick up.” I say hatefully into the phone.

“Hello.” A male voice answers, and I’m taken aback, not expecting to hear someone else on her phone, especially not a man’s voice I don’t recognize.

I hang up and figure I must have misdialed. Bet they sure were surprised to hear my greeting.

Rather than call again, I toss the phone on the seat and get in behind the wheel again. My head starts to pound and I figure it’s from the stress of everything that’s happened today. Or it could be that driving at night is having an effect on my eyes.

It’s almost nine o’clock when I arrive at my parent’s house. I shut the car off and stare at the front lawn. My mom has yet to start planting any spring flowers, so the yard looks dull. The neighborhood is quiet, with little to no activity at all. There are no lights on inside from what I can tell, so I begin to wonder if my parents are already asleep. Both Mom and Dad have always been fond of going to bed early, which made it easier for me to sneak out when I was younger. I’m sure being able to do that so easily attributed to my poor decision making later on.

I really don’t want to wake my parents right now, especially not knowing how my dad is going to react to seeing me after being gone for so long, so I decide to try out the front seat of my new car to see how well it sleeps compared to my last car. I definitely have not missed sleeping in my car at all. I grab the pillow and attempt to get comfortable. I toss and turn, waking almost every hour, or so it seems. Images of Jennifer fill my head. I see her tearstained cheeks, then I see images of myself swinging my hand towards her face. I feel terrible that had to happen, but damn it, she would not shut up.

I manage to doze off again, this time for another brief period of time. Bizarre things continue to fill my mind; this time I can’t get Melissa and those deposits out of my head.

My dad used to call me a dumbass when I would do stupid things. I cringed every time I heard those words; not because they were usually followed by a slap to the face, but because they just sounded so belittling to me. My mom would always turn away when my dad and I would argue. I never saw him show anything but respect towards my mom and my brothers, so I wondered often why I always fell short.

I hear a tapping noise and look over to see my dad standing just outside the car. I pull the seat up and open the car door. It’s now morning, and I feel as though I’ve not rested at all.

“Dad.” I greet him.

“What the hell are you doing out here?” Just as I suspected, Dad’s tone is still the same with me.

I should just crank the car and leave before it gets worse, but I really want see my mom.

“Nice to see you, too.” I sneer. “I had a couple days off from work and thought I would come home for a visit. But, I can see judging by your reaction, I’m still not welcome.”

My dad’s eyes land on my finger and he takes in the ring I’m wearing. “What’s that? You get married? Who would be stupid enough to marry you?”

I’ve had just about all I can take of his smart mouth, and the conversation between us has not even been a minute long yet. I don’t need to be reminded who the
stupid
one in my relationship is because it damn sure isn’t Jennifer, despite my dad’s accusations. No matter how angry I am with her, she doesn’t deserve to be called names from someone who doesn’t even know her.

I look away from him. “Well, you got nothing to say?” He just won’t stop.

I step out of the car, ready to stand eye to eye with him.

“Brian, is that you?” The sound of my mom’s voice halts me from answering him or doing something I could regret later.

“Mom.” I walk towards her and give her a hug. She holds me tight, and I am reminded just how much I have missed her. I know this wonderful lady is going to be thrilled once she finds out she’s going to be a grandmother.

But I can’t share the news with her just yet.
I need to know where things stand with Jennifer. I need to know that we are going to be okay before giving up on this relationship.

Mom and I walk inside the house, dad following behind with a sour expression across his face. Mom fixes breakfast and we all sit at the table in silence. Mom eventually notices my ring. I should have taken it off, but since dad already mentioned it at the car, I knew he would bring it up again just to have something spiteful to say to me.

“Son, what’s this, you’re married?” Mom looks confused, hurt. I feel bad for not calling her.

I take in a deep breath, careful to choose the right words. “Yeah, well, it was kind of sudden. I’m sorry that Jennifer couldn’t make the trip this time, but I promise to bring her next time. She’s busy with her classes and couldn’t get time off to join me.” The lies continue to flow from my tongue. Besides, neither of my parents will know if I’m telling the truth or not.

“Oh, honey. I hate it too. Tell me, where are you living now? What kind of job do you have?” Mom goes on and on, asking a new question before I can even answer the previous one.

I need to just shut up before I completely screw up my story. I don’t want to let it slip that we are in the middle of a huge fight right now.

Mom and dad get ready for church, and I decide to take a nap on the couch while they are gone. When mom is out of sight, dad stands over me as though he is about to spit on me. “Don’t touch a damn thing while we’re gone. You’re lucky I’m letting you stay here alone.” His mouth is clenched so tightly I wonder how the words were able to even leave his mouth.

“Just shut up you son of a bitch.” I don’t understand why my dad and I can’t have a normal conversation without saying hurtful things to each other.

My mom leans over and kisses me on the cheek. “I’m so glad you’re home, son. I’ll call your brothers and see if we can all have lunch together after church.”

“Sure, mom.” I’m not thrilled about her idea of the perfect family lunch, but I offer her a smile anyway.

I turn the television on, but don’t remember watching anything. I fall asleep instantly, exhausted from the ordeal I have just put myself through.

I try to turn on my side to get comfortable, when I wake fully and realize where I am. I look over to the driver’s seat and see that it’s empty and the truck is shut off. I get scared and sit up, making it easier to look around better. Standing just outside the truck, I see Todd talking to Rebecca, in what appears to be a pretty intense conversation. I’m not sure how long we’ve been parked here or even how long I’ve been asleep, but I’m pretty sure it’s close to the middle of the night or later.

Rebecca and Todd both notice my movement in the truck and turn to walk my way. Todd opens the door and helps me step down out of the seat. Rebecca immediately grabs me for a hug and pats my back like it’s been forever since we’ve last seen each other.

“It’s all going to be okay.” She consoles me, and I do my best to remain strong. “I’m not going to let anything bad happen to you again.”

When she finally releases me, I turn to Todd. “I guess you both have met. I’m sorry I slept so long.”

“Don’t apologize. You were exhausted.” Todd says.

“Todd, what can I do to repay you? Can I get you a room for the rest of the night?” I am forever grateful to this man who offered me comfort and a ride when he could have chosen to not get involved at all.

“You don’t owe me a thing. I’m thankful I was able to help.”

“Let me at least do something, please.” I insist.

“No. Just promise me you will stay safe.”

I look over at Rebecca and ask, “Well, are we ready to head back?” I would like to talk to Todd some more, but I know we’ve all had an interesting day, to say the least.

“Here, let me help you get your things from the truck.” Todd walks with me back to the truck and climbs inside to retrieve my purse and jacket. I’m thankful to have one final moment of privacy with him before I have to leave. He pulls a pen from the glove box and writes something down on a piece of paper.

I am suddenly chilled standing outside in the night air and put my coat on. Todd hands me the piece of paper, folded. I take it from him and attempt to open it, curious as to what he has written. He puts his hand over mine preventing me from seeing what’s inside. His hand is so warm.

“It’s just my number. I don’t expect you to call me or anything, but please, and I’m dead serious, please contact me if you get into a situation like this again. I hope that never happens, for your sake, so on a brighter note, if you are ever back my way again, look me up. I would love to hear from you.” There is genuine care and concern in his voice that I never experienced with Brian.

“Thank you again, Todd. You have been a blessing to me.” He steps down from the seat and I reach up to give him a hug. I tuck the folded paper in my back pocket and walk to Rebecca’s car. She’s sitting in the seat with the car running, waiting patiently for me. I know I have a lot of explaining to do, and I’m sure that conversation will take us the rest of the way back home before we finish discussing it.

We both wave to Todd as he pulls out in front of us. I may never see him again, but I know he is one special man. Despite the situation, I’m glad we were able to cross paths. It’s men like him that remind me there are still decent people in this world, willing to help someone in a time of need.

I don’t know what to say or where to begin. The first few minutes of the drive are very awkward, and I know the silence can’t continue the entire trip back.

I decide to break the ice first. “I’m sorry Rebecca.” My voice quivers and tears suddenly fill me eyes. She hands me a bunch of napkins from the door side panel. This long ride home may be the therapy I need to pull me through this mess.

I spend the next few hours pouring out my heart and soul to the one true person in my life. We both cry, she holds my hand, she offers me comfort and reassures me everything is going to be okay from this point on. I am the only one who controls the cards with the hand I’ve been dealt.

I know every word she tells me comes from her heart, and I start to wonder if I’m strong enough to make the right decisions for myself.
And the best decisions for my baby.

We arrive back in town shortly before daybreak, and I tell her I don’t want to go to my apartment. Right now, I don’t want to be alone. I have no idea where Brian is, if he’s back in town or if he continued on to his parents’ house; I’m scared to not know his whereabouts, and I know I’ll be able to better prepare myself once I find out.

So instead of my place, we go to her parents’ home and quietly head to her room upstairs. Her parents are aware of Brian, and I know once they see me here, they won’t question me at all. They are good people like that. I slip on one of Rebecca’s t-shirts and crawl into bed, pulling the covers up as high as I can get them without covering my face. Hiding under the covers doesn’t make the pain go away, but for the moment, it provides enough comfort to allow me to drift off to a peaceful sleep. My body is screaming for rest, and right now, I need all the rest I can get, for myself and for the baby, because I’m not sure what tomorrow holds.

When I wake from my sound sleep, I see Rebecca is not in the room. The door is pulled shut and everything in the room is still. I slip on a pair of pajama bottoms that are folded on the end of the bed. I assume Rebecca laid these out for me. I walk downstairs and hear the television playing, coming from the direction of the family room. I stand in the doorway and Rebecca jumps up as soon as she sees me.