Don't Turn Back (Coming Home Book 1) (43 page)

The next few days go by, and I slowly relax a little. I’ve not heard anything from Brian or noticed him coming back to the apartment while I’ve been at work. If he did, he surely did a better job of covering his tracks. I wonder where he’s been staying and how work is going for him since his manger was fired.

On Friday morning, I come home from work and feel slightly sad knowing I’m going to have to go alone to my doctor’s appointment. I asked Rebecca to come along, but she said she already had a previous engagement. I didn’t push her to change it, not wanting to make her feel obligated. She’s already done enough as it is. Now, I’m wishing I had. I know she would have changed her plans in a heartbeat had she known how important this visit was to me.

I busy myself with little things to do around the apartment, but it only makes the time pass slower. I shower and get ready for my appointment that is still over an hour away. I pick up my phone and stare blankly at it. I pull up Brian’s name and see the message box pop up. I start typing a message and send it before I have a chance to talk myself out of it.
What the heck did I just do?

Me:
 
Dr. apt today. Finding out what baby is going to be. Can you take lunch and make it?

I want Brian to be informed of everything involving the baby, but I’m not sure I can handle seeing the hateful side of him that I had to experience on Saturday. I ask myself if I’m willing to give him another chance.
Is it worth risking another pitfall again?

Almost immediately, he responds.

Brian:
What time?

Me:
 
One.

Brian:
I’ll be there. Thank you.

It’s too late to change my mind now. I’ve invited him and he’s accepted. I must remain as calm as I can during the appointment so as not to call any attention to myself, then maybe we can discuss everything afterwards, as long as he behaves. I need to stay strong for my baby.

I eat a light lunch then drive downtown to the clinic. I find a parking spot close by, all the while glancing around for Brian’s car. When I don’t see any sign of him, I go ahead and go inside. I’ve been in the waiting room for a few minutes before I see the door open and Brian walk inside. He’s dressed in jeans and a button down shirt. His hair looks a little unkempt, but I figure he must have driven with the windows down, since the weather has been pleasant these last few days. Or, he could simply be as nervous as I am.

My eyes lock on his and follow him over to the chair beside me. I tense up just by his proximity to me.

He finally breaks the silence. “Thanks for letting me come.”

I pause for a few seconds before answering. “You’re welcome. I know we haven’t talked, but I figured you would want to be here.”

The nurse calls my name and we both stand to walk beyond the door to the exam room. I hop onto the table while the nurse explains everything that’s going to take place today. The exam with the doctor is very brief, with the pregnancy going very well so far. We are escorted to another room down the hallway and greeted by a specialist who is going to perform the ultrasound that will hopefully show us the sex of the baby.

Brian is very quiet, tuned in to everything the nurse has to say. I lay back on the table while the nurse preps me with a cool, lubricating jelly. She begins to run the wand across my belly, and the sound of the baby’s heartbeat echoes throughout the room. It’s the coolest thing I think I’ve ever heard.

After a few swipes over my belly, she turns towards me and Brian, who is sitting as close as possible to the exam table, and asks, “So, would you like to know what you’re having?”

I feel tears build in my eyes. This is one of the happiest moments in my life. I look over at Brian and his eyes glisten with tears of happiness, too. He replies to the nurse before I can say anything. “Oh, yes ma’am.”

“Let’s see.” She applies a little pressure on my abdomen then makes a few clicks to the computer beside her. “Look right here.” She points to the screen, and we are able to see a clearer image of the baby. It’s a girl.

Brian grabs my hand, and this time, I don’t pull it away from his grip. “Baby, we’re having a girl. It’s a girl.” I see a sweet side of Brian that makes me think there could be hope for us, after all.

I wipe at the tear that eases down my cheek.

We finish with the appointment and leave the clinic with a few black and white snapshots. I can’t take my eyes off the pictures of our baby girl.

I stand outside my car, not sure what more to say to Brian.

He breaks the silence first. “Would you like to grab a coffee?”

“I suppose that would be okay. Do you not have to go back to work?” I question him.

“I can spare some time for you. They’ll manage fine without me.” I take that to mean his problems at work must have all been resolved.

We both take our own cars to drive the few blocks to the coffee shop. Brian opens my car door before I have a chance to open it on my own. He extends his hand to me and I take it. While I want to be angry with him, I can’t help but notice the old Brian is back.

We grab a table over in the corner and sip on our coffees. He speaks first.

“Jennifer, I owe you a huge apology for this past weekend. I don’t know what came over me.”

I stare at him intently. “You scared me to death. I’ve never been yelled or hollered at before. And when you slapped me…I just didn’t know what to do.”

“I know I was abrupt with you. I was stupid. Can you please forgive me, Jennifer? I want to come home to you and our baby girl.” He says those magic words that make me vulnerable.

He pulls my hands from around my coffee cup and holds them in his. He plays with the rings on my finger. I look in his eyes, and I so desperately want to believe him. Call me weak, but I want to forgive him. I want him to come back home and hold me while I sleep. I want to feel his arms around me on the couch. I simply want him, my husband.

“Brian, I…” I try to say something but he stops me.

He traces his fingers over the skin on my arm, and I feel tingles as his fingertips glide from one spot to the next. “Just say you’ll give me another chance to prove to you that I can be a better man.”

I’ve never been so torn.

“How about we do dinner tomorrow night?” I suggest. “I need some time to think about it more.” I feel this is a reasonable request.

“That sounds wonderful, baby. Would you like for me to cook us something on the grill?” While I would feel safer being in a public place, I give in to him and agree to dinner at the apartment. “How about I meet you there about six?”

“Sounds good.” I take a sip of my coffee that is now barely warm. “I will see you then.”

Brian leans over to kiss me on the cheek, and then leaves the coffee shop. My eyes follow him all the way to his car, and I watch him pull away until he disappears from my sight.
What have I done? Am I doing the right thing?

I toss my paper cup in the trash and walk to the car. I realize I left my phone on the passenger seat once I get buckled in behind the wheel. I turn it on and see I have a missed text message. I assume it’s probably from Brian, thanking me again, so I don’t bother opening the text. I drop the phone in my purse and hurry home, desperate for some sleep.

When I arrive at work in the evening, I feel like Rebecca is going to know something is up, just by the strange mood I am in. I don’t look her in the eye at first. She doesn’t say anything while she puts away some paperwork.

Walking over to me with her purse hanging from her arm, she finally asks. “So, why are you so unusually quiet tonight?”

When I can take no more, I spill out all the events of today including Brian going to the doctor with me. I hope she can be open minded enough to see why I feel I need to give him another chance.

She reaches over to give me a hug. “I’m so happy I’m going to have a niece.”

When I see she’s not going to bring up the subject of Brian, I go ahead and mention him again. “I’ll understand if you get mad at me, but I’ve agreed to have dinner with him tomorrow.”

Her smile quickly fades. “Jenn, you’re a very smart woman. I can’t make these decisions for you. I can offer advice, but that’s all. I will support you with what you feel you need to do. But it doesn’t make me worry any less.”

I know she’s right, but it would be so much easier if someone else could make the decision for me. I change the subject, and Rebecca seems relieved to have something else to talk about.

We chat for another few minutes before she leaves. I check in some new guests, and then everything quiets down for the night. I pull out my phone and mark on my calendar the date of my next doctor’s appointment. I add a few more important dates before I remember the unread message from earlier in the day. I don’t think too much about it until I click on it, and Todd’s name appears on the screen as the sender, not Brian’s, like I had previously thought

I drop the phone on the desk, not believing that he finally responded. It’s been days since I sent the initial text thanking him. When I didn’t hear anything back, I assumed it was probably the last time I would have any contact with him. Not sure why, but I’m almost afraid to open the text. I gather enough courage and finally read the message.

Todd:
 
Anytime you need me or you just want to talk, I’m here.

I read the message over and over. I don’t know what to make of it, other than that it is a friendly gesture.

I decide to respond with a simple message.

Me:
 
Hope you have a good weekend.

Within minutes, my phone signals his reply.

Todd:
 
Are you working tonight? Wondering why you would be up this late.

Me:
 
Yes. Here ‘til seven a.m. Off next two nights, thank goodness. Been long week.

Todd:
 
Been busy myself. Studying. Had several important tests this week.

Me:
 
How did you do?

Todd:
 
I feel pretty good about them, but won’t know the grades ‘til next week.
 

Me:
 
What are you studying and how much longer before you graduate?

Todd:
 
I have one semester left after this term. I took classes during the summers hoping to finish early. Looks like it’s going to pay off. I take my state test end of the year if all goes well. If I pass, I’ll be a licensed pharmacist.

Me:
 
I had no idea. That’s wonderful.
 

Todd:
Yeah, my father owns a private pharmacy and I’ve been able to work some when my classes allowed it. I was also able to intern under him, making it easier for me.

Me:
Sounds like you have a promising future ahead of you.

Todd:
Thanks. I want to make my parents proud, and they would love nothing more than for me to take over my dad’s business that he’s worked so hard to build in our hometown.