Drowning to Breathe (4 page)

PAIN ENGULFED ME. IT
crashed in from every side, pummeling and beating and battering until I was being swept away by the vicious undertow.

I gasped over the sorrow, and I grappled at the railing in an attempt to stay upright when my body almost gave.

Kallie.

Kallie.

Kallie.

I felt as if I were shattering. Splintering. My soul fragmenting as it screamed for the pieces that had been ripped away.

Kallie.

Fear consumed me.

What did Martin want with her?

Why now, after all this time?

And Sebastian.

Without him, I no longer knew how to breathe.

Warily, April looked at me where I held onto the railing at the bottom of the stairs. Her wide, frightened eyes were stained red, cheeks wet with her own misery.

“I can’t believe this is happening,” she whispered, as if she didn’t want to speak the words, because if she did, it would make them real.

But I could. I’d always known. No amount of lies or hiding or pretending could have kept this day from coming to pass.

Martin Jennings had been sitting back, lying in wait for the perfect opportunity to strike. The precise time to swoop in and tear my world apart. The circumstances didn’t matter. Martin had promised he would find a way to make me pay.

And now I was paying the greatest price.

My head spun, my entire being reeling with the aftermath of everything he threatened to take from me.

Kallie. My baby girl.

Sebastian.

Hadn’t Martin already taken enough?

“He would never have just let me go.” The raspy words scraped like razors up my sore throat.

Her voice was small. Scared. Just like me. “What do we do?”

A flurry of adrenaline whipped through me. A frenzy fueled by the fear and resolution to do anything and everything I had to do—just like I had before. I lifted my chin. “We fight.”

She swiped under her eyes and laughed a soggy laugh that held zero humor. “I can’t believe I almost forgot about him. So much time has passed and I’d pretended he didn’t exist…it felt like he didn’t.”

“I know.”

And I was to blame. Pretending was so much easier than living with constant anxiety. So much easier than waiting for the switch to flip, for the shoe to drop, for my world to implode like it’d done tonight.

I’d let Sebastian believe there was no one there to claim Kallie. No father to love her or protect her or stand by her side. There was. But Martin would never do any of those things. No. He didn’t love. He used and manipulated and abused.

A rush of nausea swam in my belly as my mind flashed to Kallie’s trusting face. Only this time, that face was painted in terror and confusion and desolation.

That sickness coiled like an agitated asp with the thought of her being at his mercy. Because mercy was something Martin Jennings did not grant. There was no doubt in my mind he cared absolutely nothing about her. He viewed her as an obstacle he couldn’t pass, as hard as he’d tried to get her out of his way.

Now my daughter was subject to his malicious will.

Sorrow squeezed my chest.

I hated I’d hurt Sebastian.

Hated I’d hidden it from him for so long.

Hated most I’d allowed that monster to steal away my baby girl.

April cast me the saddest of smiles and then dropped her attention to the side. “I know I don’t have much to offer, but I’ll be here, Shea, fighting with you, until we bring her home.”

Tears streaked down my face. “Don’t ever say that. You have always been the sanity in all of this. Supporting Kallie and me in every way. I’m not sure I would have made it without you.”

She shook her head, eyes blurry and unfocused as they drifted to the far wall. “All the time I’ve lived here with you and Kallie, I hoped you’d find a guy who would fall head over heels in love with you. With both of you. Someone kind yet strong. Someone who would always stand by your side and do whatever it took to make you happy.”

With her focus still faraway, she sucked in her bottom lip.

“When I found Sebastian in our kitchen that morning…I instantly disliked him. I didn’t trust him. I was sure he wasn’t anything but trouble.”

She gave a fierce, regretful shake of her head. “I just
knew
he was going to hurt you. I was scared because I saw the way you looked at him. I figured he wasn’t anything but a player out looking for fun while he passed time in Savannah.”

She looked at me simply. “I was wrong. I want to blame him for all this…but I can’t do that. I’m pretty sure he’s the guy who would do
anything
to make sure you’re happy.”

Simple, simple dreams.

They moaned from within.

A simple girl who loved a simple boy.

How ironic the one thing I’d ever hoped to want with him was being dangled right in front of me.

A family.

But both Sebastian’s and my situations were the furthest from
simple
.

April glanced back at the door Sebastian had disappeared through. “Why didn’t you tell him?”

I swallowed over the lump of emotion locking my throat. “I was going to…the night when I found out who he was. When I finally admitted I loved him. I was ready to tell him everything. Ready to
trust
him with everything.”

He was the first person I did.

Trust.

Sadness tugged at one side of my mouth. “As much as knowing who he was scared me, it felt like it was meant to be. Like maybe no one could understand us the same way we could understand each other.”

I gave her a helpless shrug. “He left me before I had the chance. Then he was back and everything happened so fast. Kallie almost drowning…the paparazzi…the pictures. I tried to tell him again tonight.”

Right before the social worker showed up at my door.

But now that I knew his connection to Martin, I found I couldn’t open my mouth to tell him everything. The things he clearly demanded to know. He thought I didn’t trust him. That was a light year from the truth.

I was scared for him.

I
knew
Sebastian. And I also knew the things Martin was capable of. The wicked things he’d done. At least some of them. Surely my knowledge barely dipped a finger in a bottomless barrel of malevolence.

Even when no proof had been found, I carried no delusions. Martin had been responsible for what was done to me. Every self-preserving part of me was certain. And I knew if Sebastian knew what he’d done, it would shred the last of his paper-thin control. In his compulsive need to protect and defend, he’d destroy everything important to both of us. I couldn’t risk that. Not for him or for me.

I held too much hope that what we shared was bigger than all of it and together we’d
fix
this, just like Sebastian had said.

Softly, she tilted her head to the side. Telling. Comforting. “He’s shocked…scared. But the only thing clear in this horrible situation is that man loves you.”

“Yeah,” I quietly agreed, because I didn’t question that either. I just hoped I hadn’t hurt him so deeply he could no longer see it.

IN THE DISTANCE, LIGHTNING
flashed as the storm headed north out of Savannah. The roads were wet, and streetlamps glowed in the foggy haze. My headlights glinted through the mist, creating the illusion of misshapen stars that shone too bright against my eyes.

I shivered, still fucking soaking wet, my insides just as cold as my skin.

I rubbed a hand over my face and tried to focus.

The river walk was almost deserted. Quiet at this time on a Sunday night.

It seemed ludicrous my first damned instinct was to go to
Charlie’s
to seek the reprieve offered within those old walls. But it, too, was closed for the night. The face darkened, as if the hope I’d found there had also been shut down.

Nowhere else to go, I headed back to Tybee Island. Twenty minutes later, I pulled into the drive in front of Anthony’s beachfront vacation home.

Sighing, I cut the engine and stepped out into the night. My boots crunched on the gravel and thudded up the seven steps leading to the sweeping entrance. I unlocked the door and entered, having no fucking clue where to go from here, because God knew this wasn’t where I wanted to be.

Inside, floor-to-ceiling windows took up the entire wall facing east, the waning storm eclipsing the stars in the sky. The main room was open to the lavish kitchen in the back where Ash, Lyrik, and Zee stood around the island, nothing else to do in this town that was locked down tight on a Sunday night. The smiles on their faces dropped when they saw the expression on mine.

Ash frowned. “Back already?”

Last thing they’d known, the pictures on the Internet had been taken down, and I was heading back to Shea’s with my heart on my sleeve. Wondering if she would kick me to the curb once she realized being with someone like me was too much to deal with, the paparazzi hounding us at every turn, making up lies to satiate their thirst for drama.

Little did we know what was
actually
waiting to bring us to our knees.

Agitated, I drove my hands through my hair.

“…and?” Ash prodded.

“And it turns out I don’t know two shits about Shea.”

Perplexed, Ash set his beer on the counter, and Zee and Lyrik straightened as they caught onto my agitation.

I exhaled heavily, finding it hard to speak. “Earlier tonight…Child Protective Services showed up to take Kallie away…apparently that bogus article and picture was enough to call into question Shea’s ability as a mother.”

“Bullshit,” Lyrik hissed. Ash and Zee both blanched.

Total, complete bullshit.

I bit my bottom lip, doing my best to contain some of the anger working to break free. “This social worker, she just walks right in, picks up Kallie, and carries her right out the door, saying they’re placing her with next of kin.”

Pain hit me again. The memory of the terror on Kallie’s face a punch to the gut.

“We follow her out, trying to make sense of what the hell is goin’ on…” I swallowed down the bile. “Martin Jennings is waiting on the curb.” I gripped my hair, the words sliding from me like I wanted to purge their truth. “He’s her father. Shea lied to me. Told me Kallie’s father was dead. She’s
Delaney Rhoads
.”

“No fuckin’ way.” Ash stared wide-eyed.

“Who’s Delaney Rhoads?” Zee asked, confused.

Ash coughed out some stunned laughter. “Country star…popular six, seven years ago. Up and disappeared with a ton of scandal surrounding her name.” Ash had the nerve to smile. “Dude…Shea is Delaney Rhoads. That is crazy cool. Can’t believe I didn’t recognize her, but hell, that was a long time ago.”

“Don’t even start, Ash,” I warned. I definitely wasn’t in the mood to deal with the fact everything was a joke to him.

“What?” He shrugged. “Don’t tell me you don’t think that’s the hottest damn thing to ever cross your path. Shea’s fucking beautiful…give her a mic and a guitar.” Blue eyes gleamed. “Hell yeah.”

Hadn’t even let my mind go wandering that direction. I was too caught up in the fact she’d lied to me and Jennings was a key in both our lives. That Kallie was gone.

“Martin Jennings has Kallie?” Zee’s voice shook, and he rubbed a disturbed hand over his face.

Finally somewhat got the fuckin’ consequence of the situation.

“Yeah.”

Stunned, he dropped his gaze and cursed.

Ash bounced around. If possible his demeanor grew cockier than normal. “So, let’s go get her back. Bust some faces. Make it right. No chance in hell are we leaving that little thing with that piece of shit.”

Ash made it sound so simple.
Appealing.
Because I wanted nothing more.

A curl of aggression wound through Lyrik. I could feel it, him feeding off me, the intense need I felt to track down that bastard Jennings and finally right all the asshole’s wrongs.

Lyrik was just like me. When you get pushed up against a wall, you push right the fuck back, fists and fury and uncontained aggression. Pair that with Ash spouting his mouth wherever we went? The three of us asked for trouble then turned around and kicked its ass.

But if we gave into that craving, we were only going to make things worse.

“Anthony’s on his way. He has an attorney lined up. We’re going to set this straight.”

“Okay?” Ash drew out as he set his hands on his hips, staring me down.

“Okay, what?”

“Then what the hell are you doing here?”

Running.

I gave a harsh shake of my head. “Martin’s using the assault against her. No question the asshole is the one who got the courts involved. I won’t be a liability.”

Just like Shea had said, he’d been waiting to strike. Bet the sick fuck had been watching us these past months.

Two birds with one stone and all that.

Lyrik swore, while Ash grew livid. “Are you kidding me, Baz? Did she ask you to go?”

I didn’t answer.

“Unbelievable,” he spat toward the ground.

Yeah. It was. All of it.

“You’re an idiot.” Ash kept on like the fucker he was.

Didn’t have it in me to go toe to toe with him, to debate what was
right
when every goddamned thing was wrong.