Effortless (33 page)

Denny looked around the street, then over to the coffee shop
Cheyenne and I had been heading towards. He motioned to it with his
hand. “Do you want to go inside? Talk somewhere…warm.” He shivered
and I smiled, knowing that he was used to warmer climes now,
especially this time of year.

After I nodded an agreement, we silently walked towards the
shop. Walking beside him, a small part of me wanted to hold his
hand. It was odd to feel that way, after so much time apart, but it
was still in me, somewhere. I didn’t, though. I’d made a promise to
be true to Kellan, a promise encircled on my finger. I wasn’t about
to break it.

Denny paused at the door, holding it open for me like the
gentleman he was. I smiled and thanked him and he looked away, a
flush lightly coloring his tanned face. It would seem I wasn’t the
only one holding onto a lingering attraction. But I knew Denny
wouldn’t do anything about it either. He was loyal when he was with
someone, and right now, he was with Abby. As we moved to order our
drinks, I idly wondered if she was in the city with him.

I ordered a latte, Denny ordered tea. I smiled at the
familiarity of it all. Sitting at a quiet booth, we both sipped our
steaming cups in silence. I was the one that broke it first. “So,
do you need your car back?”

I cringed, both over asking him that right out of the gate, and
at the fact that Anna had so girlified his vehicle that he probably
wouldn’t want it back. Denny smiled and shook his head. “No, the
company got me a rental. You can keep it.” He tilted his head and
smiled warmly before returning to his mug.

I cleared my throat, tucking some hair behind my ears. “The
company? So, you’re here for work?”

Denny nodded, not looking up at me. “Yeah, they’re expanding,
opening branches in the U.S., in Seattle.” He shrugged. “Since I
know the area and have a lot of contacts here, they gave me the
assignment.” He looked back up at me. “I’ll be running the office
here.”

A ghost of a smile formed on his lips as my mouth fell open. He
was so young, still a few years from thirty, and he was going to be
in charge? I always knew he was brilliant, but…wow. “Oh my God,
Denny, that’s…incredible. Congratulations.”

His smile widened. “Thank you.”

Shaking my head, still amazed, I murmured, “Abby must be so
proud of you. Is she here?” I looked around like she was suddenly
going to appear beside one of the tables.

Denny sighed softly and I looked back at him. Sadly peering into
his cup, he shook his head. “No…she’s still in Australia.”

Recognizing the loss in his face, I put a hand on his arm. Even
though I didn’t want there to be, I felt something in that brief
connection. Something warm and familiar, something that reminded me
of being held, being comforted, being loved. I dropped my fingers
when he snapped his eyes up to mine, his reflecting the same
remembrance that I was feeling. In a whisper I told him, “I’m sorry
the two of you didn’t work out.”

He bunched his brows and shook his head. “No, we’re still
together. She just…she couldn’t make it up yet.” He frowned and
looked back at the doors. “We work for the same company and they
wouldn’t let her out of her current assignment. She has to finish
up with the client before she can fly out here. It’s a long job…it
may be months before she can make it.”

He looked back at me. “Why would you assume we broke up?”

I froze, not exactly sure how to answer that. Mainly, I’d just
assumed he’d been forced to choose between a girl and his dream
job. I assumed that, once again, he’d taken the job. Studying my
face, his mouth dropped a little. “Because I took the Tucson job,
right?”

I shrugged, still not wanting to say it. He sighed and reached
across the table to grab my hand. “You know I’m sorry for that,
Kiera. I think…I think that’s really the only thing I regret with
you.” I looked up from our joined skin to lock eyes with him. He
smiled a little. “Well, that and…” He nodded at my head and I
cringed, not wanting to remember that either. Sighing, he shook his
head. “But Tucson…I should have called you. I should have talked to
you first, before I just…took it.”

I bit my lip, not wanting to start crying. I’d cried enough over
Denny and I. His thumb idly stroked mine as he searched my face,
his deep eyes looking soulfully apologetic. Knowing that I had way
more to apologize to him for than his one mistake with me, I smiled
reassuringly. “Everything is okay now, Denny. You don’t need to
feel bad about that anymore.”

He nodded, but didn’t seem any less sorry. Searching his eyes, I
again marveled at the oddity of seeing him here, in my city,
practically on my doorstep. Shaking my head, I again asked, “Why
didn’t you tell me you were coming?”

Denny looked away, not answering. Seeing his jaw tighten under
the thicker hairline, I surmised what he didn’t want to say. “You
were hoping you wouldn’t see me. You were hoping the city would be
large enough that we’d never cross paths.” He looked back to me and
sighed. I shook my head. “I’m right, aren’t I?”

Shrugging, he looked down at our hands. Somewhere in my
questions, I’d laced them together and we were now holding each
other across the table. I didn’t pull away. He didn’t either.
Instead, he shook his head and whispered, “Talking with you on the
phone is one thing, but I wasn’t…I didn’t know if I could handle
seeing you.” He looked up at me, his eyes glossy. “You’re so…” He
sighed, his eyes drifting over my face, and didn’t finish his
thought.

Swallowing, he looked back at our hands. “I was just hoping that
I could come back secretly and then we’d still have the long
distance friendship thing. I wanted to avoid this…confusion.”

He sighed again and I finally released his hand. Patting the top
of it, I pushed it back towards him. “There isn’t any confusion,
Denny.” He looked up at me and I smiled at him. “You’re with Abby
and you’re happy with her, right?” Smiling softly, Denny nodded. I
nodded too, ignoring the ever-so-slight pang I felt. “And I’m happy
with Kellan.”

His face flinched just fractionally, so swiftly that I would
have missed it if I hadn’t been looking for it. Not allowing myself
to dwell on the guilt building, I smiled and shook my head. “So, if
we’re both happy, then there’s no reason to fear a face-to-face
friendship.” Tilting my head, I sighed, my eyes stinging. “And I’ve
missed that friendship…so much.”

His eyes even glossier, he returned his hand to mine. “I have
too, Kiera.”

Pulling back his hand, he laughed a little and ran it through
his hair. I laughed a little as well, the emotion releasing from
me. We’d been friends for far too long to let this awkwardness
permanently alter our relationship. If he was going to be here for
a while, we’d find a way to move past it.

Smiling, I picked up my coffee and took a long sip. He did as
well, his eyes flashing to the ring on my finger. He didn’t react
to seeing it, though, so I wasn’t sure if he understood what it
meant. Lots of people wore rings on their right hands. It wasn’t
always symbolic. I didn’t intend to tell him what it meant either.
He’d probably find it morbidly funny that Kellan had given us a
physical reminder to be faithful to one another. Looking at the
gift through Denny’s eyes, the tender exchange between us seemed a
little…sad.

A thought struck me that made me frown. There was no way I could
tell Kellan that Denny was here in Seattle, not while Kellan was
thousands of miles away. He’d flip out. He’d drop everything and
come back here. He was friends with Denny, considered him a
brother, but there was way too much uncertainty between us…our
rings were proof of that. And Denny was the one person on this
earth that I had actually cheated on Kellan with.

That wasn’t really what had happened; technically I was cheating
on Denny, not Kellan. But I’d made love to Kellan, told him that I
was his…then I’d slept with Denny one final time. Kellan knew about
it…it ate at him. Denny was the one person Kellan would never trust
me with. I just couldn’t risk him throwing away his dream on an
unfounded fear. And I’d never hurt him like that again. Never. Not
even if Kellan cheated on me and I hated him. I’d break it off with
him before I ever touched another man. I would not be a whore
again. I just couldn’t live with the consequences.

Besides, that wasn’t going to happen. Denny and I were past that
point in our relationship and Kellan had nothing to worry about.
But I’d never be able to convince him. He’d possessively watch over
me like an animal marking its territory, warning the other males
away. Kellan didn’t share…he’d already told me that much.

Maybe noticing my expression, Denny quietly asked, “Everything
okay?”

I straightened my face, shaking my head. “Yeah, just thinking…”
I bit my lip, wondering if I should confess my fears to Denny or
not. Again, he’d probably find it morbidly funny. Deciding to put
it a different way, I shrugged and asked, “Is Abby okay with you
being here…with me.”

Denny immediately shook his head, lowering his mug from his
mouth. “I’m not here with you.”

I flushed and looked down, not expecting words that harshly true
to leave his mouth. I was used to flowers and poetry. I was used to
sappy comments about me being his heart. He sighed. “That came out
wrong. I just mean…I came here for the job.” I looked back up at
him and he shrugged. “Abby knows what went down with me and you.
She knows that I would never go back to you, Kiera.”

He held my eye, not backing down from his coldly honest
statement. I felt my lip quaver as so many emotions flooded me I
couldn’t sort through them all. He was bluntly saying exactly what
I’d been thinking. It was no great shock, but still…hearing it put
so plainly… Yeah, it stung.

Frowning, he shook his head. “I’m sorry that’s sounds…cold.” He
finally looked away from me, down to the cup cooling in his hands.
“Sometimes the truth is cold.” He peered up at me, and when he
spoke again, his accent was thicker with emotion. “I still want
your friendship, though. You’re still important to me.”

I nodded, swiping a stubborn tear away from my eye. “It’s okay
to be honest with me, Denny.” I sighed, laughing a little. “I was
sitting here, sort of thinking the same thing anyway.” He tilted
his head, his dark brows bunching, and I laughed again. “Just that
Kellan had nothing to worry about because you and I would never…go
down that path again.”

Denny laughed and shook his head. Raising his mug, he extended
it to me. “To never sleeping together again?” he teased, a sparkle
in his eye.

Seeing my favorite goofy grin returning, I smiled and clinked
his mug with mine. “To never having sex again.” He raised an
eyebrow at me and I quickly added, “With each other, I mean.”

Laughing heartily, he sipped his tea as I quickly downed my
coffee. God, I was an idiot. Still chuckling, he relaxed back in
his seat again. I smiled that the residual tension had started
melting away. I didn’t think I could ever just be friends with
Kellan again—hell, we’d never managed to just be friends when we
were friends—but Denny…the comfort there made it easy to slip into
that role with each other.

As Denny smirked to himself, I worried my lip, thinking of
Kellan again. Setting down my drink, I cleared my throat. Denny
looked up at me. “Um, this is going to sound weird, but if you
happen to talk to Kellan anytime soon…can you not tell him that
you’re here?”

Denny sighed, his shoulders slumping. “Kiera…”

I shook my head, interrupting his protest. “Please? Just…fail to
mention it?”

Sighing, Denny leaned over the table. “Kiera, I don’t want to
tell you how to handle your relationship with him, but…you’ll never
last if you start lying to him.”

I shook my head, leaning over as well. “And I won’t lie…I just
don’t want to tell him right now.”

Denny gave me a dry look, like he didn’t see the difference in
my statement. Honestly, I knew I was stretching the truth line, but
Kellan would
not
react well to Denny being so close to me
while he was gone. It was too similar to how we’d first gotten
together.

Placing my hand over Denny’s, I shook my head again. “I know
this is big, and I
will
tell him.” I sighed, pausing. “I
just need to figure out how to tell him without…scaring him.”

Denny stared at me a moment, then his face softened into
compassion. “Alright, I won’t tell him…but I won’t lie either. If
he asks me, I’ll tell him.” I started nodding immediately and Denny
raised his eyebrows. “I’ll tell him everything, Kiera…even this
conversation.”

I swallowed, then nodded. “That’s fine…it won’t come to that.
I’ll tell him first.”

He sighed, shaking his head as he looked out the window. “You
better…I don’t need him venting his frustrations on me.”

He bit his lip as his voice trailed off. I cringed. That’s
exactly what Denny had done to Kellan, the night he’d beaten him to
a bloody pulp. Holding his hand in both of mine, I whispered,
“Thank you, Denny.”

He nodded, looking back to me. Changing the subject, I shifted
to his new job. He brightened instantly, and then it was just like
it was years ago, when he was telling me about something he was
really excited about. He’d been in town for about a month, since
the first part of the year, living out of a four star hotel until
he found a place to rent.