Authors: Rainbow Rowell
here
–
but
she’d
practically dragged him into the
garage, and now she was huddled
against him. Park still thought
maybe they’d kidnapped her. Was
he supposed to pay ransom?
‘Talk to me,’ he said to the top
of Eleanor’s head. ‘What’s going
on?’
‘Her stepdad is looking for
her,’ Tina said. Tina was sitting on
the arm of the couch with her legs
in Steve’s lap. She took the joint
from him.
‘Is that true?’ Park asked
Eleanor. She nodded into his
chest. She wouldn’t let him pull
far enough away that he could
look at her.
‘Fucking stepdads,’ Steve said.
‘Motherfuckers, all of them.’ He
burst into laughter. ‘Oh, fuck,
Mikey, did you hear that?’ He
kicked
the
Camaro
again.
‘Mikey?’
‘I have to leave,’ Eleanor
whispered.
Thank God
. Park backed away
from her and took her hand. ‘Hey,
Steve, we’re going back to my
house.’
‘Be careful, man, he’s been
driving around in that shit-colored
Micro Machine …’
Park bent to clear the garage
door. Eleanor stopped behind
him. ‘Thank you,’ she said – he
would swear that she was talking
to Tina.
This night couldn’t get any
weirder.
He led Eleanor through his
backyard, then around the back of
his grandparents’ house to the
driveway, past the spot by the
garage where they liked to kiss
goodbye.
When they got to the RV, Park
reached up and opened the screen
door. ‘Go on,’ he said. ‘It’s always
unlocked.’
He and Josh used to play in
here. It was like a little house,
with a bed at one end and a
kitchen at the other. There was
even a miniature stove and
refrigerator. It had been a while
since Park had been inside the RV
– he couldn’t stand up now
without hitting his head on the
ceiling.
There was a checkerboard-
sized table against the wall with
two seats. Park sat on one side
and sat Eleanor down across from
him. He reached for her hands –
her right palm was streaked with
blood, but she didn’t seem to be in
pain.
‘Eleanor …’ he said. ‘What’s
going on?’ He was pleading.
‘I have to leave,’ she said. She
was looking across the table like
she’d just seen a ghost. Like she
was one.
‘Why?’ he said. ‘Is this about
tonight?’ In Park’s head, it felt like
everything must be about tonight.
Like nothing that good and this
bad could happen on the same
night unless they were related.
Whatever this was.
‘No,’ Eleanor said, rubbing her
eyes. ‘No. It’s not about us. I
mean …’ She looked out the little
window.
‘Why is your stepdad looking
for you?’
‘Because he knows, because I
ran away.’
‘Why?’
‘Because he
knows
.’ Her voice
caught. ‘Because it’s him.’
‘What?’
‘Oh God, I shouldn’t have
come here,’ she said. ‘I’m just
making it worse. I’m sorry.’
Park wanted to shake her, to
shake through to her – she wasn’t
making any sense. Two hours ago,
everything
had
been
perfect
between them, and now … Park
had to get back to his house. His
mom was still awake, and his dad
was going to be home any minute.
He leaned over the table and
took Eleanor by the shoulders.
‘Could we just start over?’ he
whispered. ‘Please? I don’t know
what you’re talking about.’
Eleanor closed her eyes and
nodded wearily.
She started over.
She told him everything.
And Park’s hands started
shaking before she was halfway
through.
‘Maybe he won’t hurt you,’ he
said, hoping it was true, ‘maybe
he’s just trying to scare you. Here
…’ He pulled his hand inside his
sleeve and tried to wipe Eleanor’s
face.
‘No,’ she said. ‘You don’t
know, you don’t see how … how
he looks at me.’
CHAPTER 49
Eleanor
How he looks at me
.
Like he’s biding his time
.
Not like he wants me. Like
he’ll get around to me. When
there’s nothing and no one else
left to destroy
.
How he waits up for me
.
Keeps track of me
.
How he’s always there. When
I’m eating. When I’m reading.
When I’m brushing my hair
.
You don’t see
.
Because I pretend not to
.
CHAPTER 50
Park
Eleanor pushed her curls out of
her face one by one, like she was
gathering her wits by hand. ‘I
have to go,’ she said.
She was making more sense
now, and more eye contact, but
Park still felt like someone had
turned the world upside down and
was shaking it.
‘You could talk to your mom
tomorrow,’ he said. ‘Everything
might look different in the
morning.’
‘You saw what he wrote on
my books,’ she said evenly.
‘Would you want me to stay
there?’
‘I … I just don’t want you to
leave,’ he said. ‘Where would you
go? To your dad’s house?’
‘No, he doesn’t want me.’
‘But if you explained …’
‘He doesn’t
want
me.’
‘Then … where?’
‘I don’t know.’ She took a
deep breath and squared her
shoulders. ‘My uncle said I could
spend the summer with him.
Maybe he’ll let me come up to St
Paul early.’
‘St Paul, Minnesota.’
She nodded.
‘But …’ Park looked in
Eleanor’s eyes, and her hands fell
to the table.
‘I
know,’
she
sobbed,
slumping forward. ‘I know …’
There was no room to sit at the
table next to her, so he dropped to
his knees and pulled her onto the
dusty linoleum floor.
Eleanor
‘When are you leaving?’ he asked.
He pushed her hair out of her face
and held it behind her head.
‘Tonight,’ she said, ‘I can’t go
home.’
‘How are you going to get
there? Have you called your
uncle?’
‘No. I don’t know. I thought
I’d take the bus.’
She was going to hitchhike.
She figured she could walk as
far as the Interstate, then she’d
stick out her thumb for station
wagons and minivans. Family
cars. If she hadn’t been raped or
murdered – or sold into white
slavery – by Des Moines, she’d
call her uncle collect. He’d come
to get her, even if it was just to
bring her home.
‘You can’t take the bus by
yourself,’ Park said.
‘I don’t have a better plan.’
‘I’ll drive you,’ he said.
‘To the bus station?’
‘To Minnesota.’
‘Park, no, your parents will
never let you.’
‘So I won’t ask.’
‘But your dad will kill you.’
‘No,’ he said, ‘he’ll ground
me.’
‘For life.’
‘Do you think I even care
about that right now?’ He held her
face in his hands. ‘Do you think I
care about anything but you?’
CHAPTER 51
Eleanor
Park said he’d come back after his
dad got home and his parents
were both asleep.
‘It might be a while. Don’t
turn on the light or anything,
okay?’
‘Duh.’
‘And watch for the Impala.’
‘Okay.’
He looked more serious than
she’d seen him since the day he
kicked Steve’s ass. Or since her
first day on the bus, when he’d
ordered her to sit down. That was
still the only time she’d heard him
use the F-word.
He leaned into the RV and
touched her chin.
‘Please be careful,’ she said.
And then he was gone.
Eleanor sat back down at the
table. She could see Park’s
driveway from there, through the
lace curtains. She felt tired
suddenly. She just wanted to lay
her head down. It was already
after midnight; it could be hours
before Park came back …
Maybe she should feel bad
about involving him in all this, but
she didn’t. He was right, the worst
thing that would happen to him
(barring some terrible accident)
was that he’d be grounded. And
being grounded at his house was
like winning the
Price is Right
showcase compared to what
would happen if Eleanor got
caught.
Should she have left a note?
Would her mom call the
police? (Was her mom okay?
Were they all okay? Eleanor
should have checked to see if the
little kids were breathing.) Her
uncle probably wouldn’t even let
Eleanor stay once he found out
she’d run away …
God, whenever she started to
think this plan through, it all fell
apart. But it was already too late to
turn back. It felt like the most
important thing now was to run,
the most important place to be was
away
.
She’d get away, and then she’d
figure out what to do next.
Or maybe she wouldn’t …
Maybe she’d get away, and
then she’d just stop.
Eleanor had never thought
about killing herself – ever – but
she thought a lot about stopping.
Just running until she couldn’t run
anymore.
Jumping
from
something so high that she’d
never hit the bottom.
Was Richie out looking for her
now?
Maisie and Ben would tell him
about Park, if they hadn’t already.
Not because they liked Richie,
though sometimes it still seemed
like they did. Because he had them
on leashes. Like the first day
Eleanor came to the house, when
Maisie was sitting on Richie’s lap
…
Fuck. Just … fuck.
She should go back for Maisie.
She should go back for all of
them – she should find a way to
fit them in her pockets – but she
should definitely go back for
Maisie. Maisie would run away
with Eleanor. She wouldn’t think
twice …
And then Uncle Geoff would
send them both right home.
Her mom would
definitely
call
the police if she woke up and
Maisie was gone. Bringing Maisie
would ruin everything even worse
than it was already ruined.
If Eleanor were the hero of
some
book,
like
The Boxcar
Children
or something, she’d try.
If she were Dicey Tillerman, she’d
find a way.
She’d be brave and noble, and
she’d find a way.
But she wasn’t. Eleanor wasn’t
any of those things. She was just
trying to get through the night.
Park
Park walked quietly into his house
through the back door. Nobody in
his family ever locked anything.
The TV was still on in his
parents’
bedroom.
He
went
straight to the bathroom and into
the shower. He was pretty sure he
smelled like every single thing that
could get him in trouble.
‘Park?’ his mom called when
he walked out of the bathroom.
‘Here,’ he said. ‘Just going to
bed.’
He buried his dirty clothes at
the bottom of the hamper and dug
all his leftover birthday and
Christmas money out of his sock
drawer. Sixty dollars. That should
be enough for gas … probably, he
didn’t really know.
If they could just get to St
Paul, Eleanor’s uncle would help
them figure it out. She wasn’t sure
her uncle would let her stay, but
she said he was a decent guy, ‘and
his wife was in the Peace Corps.’
Park had already written his
parents a note:
Mom and Dad,
I had to help Eleanor. I’ll
call you tomorrow, and I’ll be
back in a day or two. I know
I’m in huge trouble, but this