Authors: Rainbow Rowell
house,
his
mom would love that.
The only thing Eleanor would
have to figure out was the dress
…
Did they even make prom
dresses in her size? She’d have to
shop in the mother-of-the-bride
section. And she’d have to rob a
bank. Seriously. Even if a
hundred-dollar bill fell right out of
the sky, Eleanor could never
spend it on something as stupid as
a prom dress.
She’d spend it on new Vans.
Or a decent bra. Or a boom box
…
Actually, she’d probably just
give it to her mom.
Prom
. As if.
Park
After she’d agreed to go to next
year’s prom with him, Eleanor
also agreed to accompany Park to
his first cotillion, the Academy
Awards after-party, and any and
all ‘balls’ to which he received
invitations.
She giggled so much, the geese
complained.
‘Go on and honk,’ Eleanor
said.
‘You
think
you
can
intimidate me with your swanlike
good looks, but I’m not that kind
of girl.’
‘Lucky for me,’ Park said.
‘Why is that lucky for you?’
‘Never mind.’ He wished he
hadn’t said it. He’d meant to be
funny and self-deprecating, but he
didn’t actually want to talk about
how she managed to be attracted
to him.
Eleanor was studying him
coolly.
‘You’re the reason that goose
thinks I’m shallow,’ she said.
‘I think it’s a gander, right?’
Park
said.
‘The
males
are
ganders?’
‘Oh, right, gander. That suits
him. Pretty boy … So, why is that
lucky for you?’
‘Because,’ he said, like both
syllables hurt.
‘Because, why?’ she asked.
‘Isn’t that my line?’
‘I thought I could you ask you
anything …’ she said. ‘Because,
why?’
‘Because of my all-American
good looks.’ He ran his hand
through his hair and looked down
at the mud.
‘Are you saying that you’re not
good-looking?’ she asked.
‘I don’t want to talk about
this,’ Park said, hanging onto the
back of his neck. ‘Can we go back
to talking about prom?
‘Are you saying it just so that
I’ll tell you how cute you are?’
‘
No
,’ he said. ‘I’m saying it
because it’s kind of obvious.’
‘It’s not obvious,’ Eleanor
said. She turned on the bench so
she was facing him, and pulled his
hand down.
‘Nobody thinks Asian guys are
hot,’ Park said finally. He had to
look away from her when he said
it – way away, he turned his head
completely. ‘Not here, anyway. I
assume Asian guys do all right in
Asia.’
‘That’s not true,’ Eleanor
argued. ‘Look at your mom and
dad …’
‘Asian girls are different.
White guys think they’re exotic.’
‘But …’
‘Are you trying to come up
with a super-hot Asian guy, so
you can prove me wrong?
Because there aren’t any. I’ve had
my whole life to think about this.’
Eleanor folded her arms. Park
looked out at the lake.
‘What about that old TV
show,’ she said, ‘with the karate
guy?’
‘
Kung Fu
?’
‘Yeah.’
‘That actor was white, and that
character was a monk.’
‘What about …’
‘There aren’t any,’ Park said.
‘Look at
M*A*S*H
. The whole
show takes place in Korea, and the
doctors are always flirting with
Korean girls, right? But the nurses
don’t use their R&R to go to
Seoul to pick up hot Korean guys.
Everything that makes Asian girls
seem exotic makes Asian guys
seem like girls.’
The gander was still honking
at them. Park picked up a chunk
of melting snow and tossed it half-
heartedly in the goose’s direction.
He still couldn’t look at Eleanor.
‘I don’t know what any of that
has to do with me,’ she said.
‘It has everything to do with
me,’ he answered.
‘No.’ She put her hand on his
chin and made him face her. ‘It
doesn’t … I don’t even know
what it means that you’re Korean.’
‘Beyond the obvious?’
‘Yeah,’ she said, ‘
exactly
.
Beyond the obvious.’
Then she kissed him. He loved
it when she kissed him first.
‘When I look at you,’ she said,
leaning into him, ‘I don’t know if
I’m thinking you’re cute
because
you’re Korean, but I don’t think
it’s in spite of it. I just know that I
think you’re cute. Like,
so cute
,
Park …’
He loved it when she said his
name.
‘Maybe I’m really attracted to
Korean guys,’ she said, ‘and I
don’t even know it.’
‘Good thing I’m the only
Korean guy in Omaha,’ he said.
‘And good thing I’m never
getting out of this dump.’
It was getting cold, and
probably late; Park wasn’t wearing
a watch.
He stood up and pulled
Eleanor to her feet. They held
hands and cut through the park to
get to the car.
‘
I
don’t even know what it
means to be Korean,’ he said.
‘Well, I don’t know what it
means to be Danish and Scottish,’
she said. ‘Does it matter?’
‘I think so,’ he said, ‘because
it’s the number-one thing people
use to identify me. It’s my main
thing.’
‘I’m telling you,’ she said, ‘I
think your main thing might be
that
you’re
cute.
You’re
practically
adorable.’
Park didn’t mind the word
adorable.
Eleanor
They’d parked on the far side of
the Market, and the lot was mostly
empty by the time they got back.
Eleanor felt tense and reckless
again. Maybe it was something
about this car …
The Impala might not look
pervy on the outside, not like a
fully carpeted custom van or
something – but the inside was a
different story. The front seat was
almost as big as Eleanor’s bed,
and the back seat was an Erica
Jong novel just waiting to happen.
Park opened the door for her,
then ran around the car to get in.
‘It’s not as late as I thought,’ he
said, looking at the clock on the
dash. 8:30.
‘Yeah …’ she said. She put
her hand down on the seat
between them. She tried to do it
casually, but it came off pretty
obvious.
Park laid his hand on top of
hers.
It was just that kind of night.
Every time she looked at him, he
was looking back at her. Every
time she thought about kissing
him, he was already closing his
eyes.
Read my mind now, she
thought.
‘Are you hungry?’ he asked.
‘No,’ she said.
‘Okay.’ Park took his hand
away and put the key in the
ignition. Eleanor reached up and
caught his sleeve before he could
turn it.
He dropped the keys and, all in
one motion, he turned and
scooped her into his arms.
S er io u s ly,
scooped
.
He
was
always stronger than she expected
him to be.
If you were watching them
now (and you totally could
because the windows weren’t
fogged over yet) you’d think that
Eleanor and Park did this kind of
thing all the time. Not just the
once before.
This
time
was
already
different.
They weren’t moving forward
in orderly steps, like a game of
Mother May I? They weren’t even
kissing each other square on the
mouth. (Lining things up neatly
would take too long.) Eleanor
climbed up his shirt, climbing on
top of him. And Park kept pulling
her to him, even when she
couldn’t come any closer.
She was wedged between Park
and the steering wheel, and when
he pushed his hand up her shirt,
she leaned against the horn. They
both
jumped,
and
Park
accidentally bit her tongue.
‘Are you okay?’ he asked.
‘Yeah,’ she said, glad that he
didn’t pull his hand away. Her
tongue didn’t seem to be bleeding.
‘You?’
‘Yeah …’ He was breathing
heavy, and it was wonderful.
I did
this to him
, she told herself.
‘Do you think …’ he said.
‘What?’ He probably thought
they should stop. No, she thought,
no, I don’t think.
Don’t think,
Park
.
‘Do you think we should …
don’t think I’m a creep, okay? Do
you think we should get in the
back seat?’
She pushed off of him and slid
over the back seat. God, it was
huge, it was glorious.
Not even a second later, Park
landed on top of her.
Park
She felt so good underneath, even
better than he’d expected. (And
he’d expected her to feel like
heaven, plus nirvana, plus that
scene
in
Willy Wonka
where
Charlie starts to fly.) Park was
breathing so hard, he couldn’t get
any air.
It seemed impossible that this
could feel as good to Eleanor as it
did to him – but she was making
these faces … She looked like a
girl in a Prince video. If Eleanor
was feeling anything like what he
was feeling, how were they ever
supposed to stop?
He pulled her shirt up over her
head.
‘Bruce Lee,’ she whispered.
‘What?’ That didn’t seem
right. Park’s hands froze.
‘Super-hot Asian guy. Bruce
Lee.’
‘Oh …’ He laughed, he
couldn’t help it. ‘Okay. I’ll give
you Bruce Lee …’
She arched her back and he
closed his eyes. He’d never get
enough of her.
CHAPTER 46
Eleanor
Richie’s
truck
was
in
the
driveway, but the whole house
was dark, thank God. Eleanor was
sure that something would give
her away. Her hair. Her shirt. Her
mouth. She felt radioactive.
She and Park had been sitting
in the alley for a while, in the
front seat, just holding hands and
feeling whiplashed. At least, that’s
how Eleanor felt. It wasn’t that
she and Park had gone too far,
necessarily – but they’d gone a
whole lot farther than she’d been
prepared
for.
She’d
never
expected to have a love scene
straight out of a Judy Blume book.
Park must be feeling strange,
too. He sat through two Bon Jovi
songs without even touching the
radio. Eleanor had left a mark on
his shoulder, but you couldn’t see
it anymore.
This was her mom’s fault.
If Eleanor were allowed to
have normal relationships with
boys, she wouldn’t have felt like
she had to hit a home run the very
first time she ended up in the back
seat of a car – she wouldn’t have
felt like it might be her only time
at bat. (And she wouldn’t be
making these stupid baseball
metaphors.) It hadn’t been a home
run, anyway. They’d stopped at
second base. (At least, she thought
it was second base. She’d heard
conflicting definitions for the
bases.) Still …
It was wonderful.
So wonderful that she wasn’t
sure how they’d survive never
doing it again.
‘I should go in,’ she said to
Park, after they’d been sitting in
the car a half-hour or more. ‘I’m
usually home by now.’
He nodded but didn’t look up
or let go of her hand.
‘Okay,’ she said. ‘We’re …
okay, right?’
He looked up then. His hair
had flattened out, and it fell in his
eyes.
He
looked
concerned.
‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘Oh.
Yeah
. I’m