Esrever Doom (Xanth) (32 page)

I hate a smart dragon!

So did Kody. What was he to do now?

He flipped another chip. Then, as the dragon’s snoot whipped around to toast it, he flipped another, this one at its eyes. And a third, at its near ear.

The first chip got toasted, but the other two scored. The dragon’s eye became a potato, and its ear a corn stalk. Kody wasn’t sure of the precise nature of the reversals, but they did mess up the dragon. Potato eye? Ear of corn? Did the chips have a sense of humor?

Then the dragon breathed out a veritable wall of flame, surrounding itself in fire. No more chips could get through, and the creature’s sight and hearing were probably recovering. Move and countermove, and the dragon was hardly intimidated, let alone defeated. More was required.

Kody charged, swinging the sword. He held up a chip and forged right through the firewall, making it turn to ice in his vicinity. Then he was beside the dragon. “Take that!” he cried, and clove it on the tail.

The sword sliced through the tail and cut it off. The severed part twisted on its own, like the tail of a snake, but he knew it was harmless. He whirled and went for the dragon’s head.

The dragon came to meet him, puffing out jets of fire. Kody held his chip out with his left hand as he dodged to the side. Ice coated his arm. Then the dragon’s head swung at his hand and knocked the chip away. The snoot aimed for him like the sooty muzzle of the flamethrower it was.

Kody put both hands on the hilt of his sword and smashed it down on that snoot. His grip was wrong, and he struck with the flat, possibly bruising but not cutting the dragon’s nose. The dragon shook the blade off and inhaled.

This time he dodged to the side, got the sword straight, and chopped as hard as he could at the dragon’s relatively thin neck. The sword cut through the scales and dug into the flesh below. Blood oozed out. The dragon recoiled, then opened his mouth wide and struck teeth first.

But Kody was already dodging again. He swung the sword like an ax, cutting at the same place as before. A scale flew out like a chip of wood, and more blood flowed.

The dragon’s head whipped around, jaws gaping, fire jetting. But Kody was moving again, getting clear of the trajectory. He chopped once more, at the same spot. This time the blade dug deep into the softer flesh of the interior. Blood spurted—and smoke came out.

He had cut through to the windpipe! Now the dragon tried to withdraw, but Kody did not trust that. He chopped once more, and opened the cut deeper. This time he must have severed a nerve, because the head abruptly dropped to the ground.

Kody chopped once more, and finally managed to sever the head completely. Smoke poured out of the neck, but the dragon was effectively dead.

You did it! You killed it!

So he had. Kody relaxed, his berserk fury fading. He had done what he had to do, but now it sickened him.

More dragons are coming!

Oh, no! He couldn’t go through that again. He had to free Zosi and get her out of here.

He ran back to her. Again he pondered the chains. Could the sword sever them? It was magic, but he feared not impervious. He needed a better way.

“Try the reverse wood,” Zosi said.

Genius! He conjured a chip and touched it to a manacle. The thing sprang open, freeing her hand. He tried the other, and it too opened. Then he got down and touched an ankle manacle, but nothing happened.

You’ve used up the power of one chip. Conjure a new one!

Good idea. He threw away the chip and conjured a new one. This one worked, and soon both Zosi’s legs were free.

The dragon!

He looked. The next dragon was coming up the hill. It looked just as big and dangerous as the first. He looked at the route he had taken to get here, but there was now no path here, just impenetrable forest. Was there no escape?

Then a shape flew down from above. It was Zap! “Take her away!” Kody called.

“Not without you!” Zosi protested.

“Zap can’t carry both of us.”

“Then you go. You must complete your Quest.”

“The hell!”

“Squawk!”

You’re right, Zap. The main path may be defensible. The dragons can come only one at a time.

“But I have only the one sword,” Kody protested. “And I’m tired. Better that Zosi goes.”

“No,” Zosi said. “I’ll stay and fight with you. With sandwich bombs.”

Zap was already going to the narrow portion of the trail to challenge the first dragon. This was a smoker, which would require a different defense. Kody and Zosi hurried to join the griffin.

“You don’t have to fight for us, if it violates your principles,” Kody told Zap. “You’ve done enough already, carrying me to the hill, and being ready to carry one of us to safety.”

“Squawk.”

The essence, succinctly expressed, was that the griffin now understood that fighting for a good cause, such as protecting her friends, did not violate her conscience. She was not going to let Zosi or Kody get eaten.

The smoker came up the path, encountered Zap, and paused. It blew out a puff of smoke in the form of a question mark.

One of the ghosts is a dragon,
Naomi thought.
He says that’s a question: “Why is a griffin interfering in dragon business?”

“Squawk!”

Zap responds that these are her friends.

The dragon puffed again.
“Well, they are both tasty morsels, the rightful prey of dragons. So get out of the way if you don’t want to get smoked.”

“Squawk!”

The dragon responds, “I’m a land dragon. I am not part of the winged monster protocol. I don’t have to honor your stupid preferences. Now clear out, birdbrain, before I get annoyed.”

“Squawk!”

“Yes, I know griffins can fight. But not as well as dragons. You are overmatched, featherhead, even if you lack the wit to know it.”

Zap reared up on her hind feet, claws extended, beak to the dexter side, rampant. It was a fighting stance. She was not as large as the dragon, but this was impressive.

The dragon puffed out one more ball of smoke.

“Oh, yeah? Then taste this!”

The dragon inhaled. But Zap didn’t wait on the exhalation. She lurched forward, batting at the dragon’s snout with both forepaws while pecking at its left eye with her beak. She was surprisingly fast. It was evident that what she lacked in size she made up for in speed.

The dragon jerked back, barely saving its eye, while smoke barreled out of its mouth, surrounding them both.

Kody wasn’t sure what to do. He wanted to help Zap, but couldn’t see either her or the dragon. He did not dare chop into that smoke with his sword, lest he strike his friend. Neither could he risk a reverse wood chip. So he just had to stand back and wait for the smoke to clear.

It slowly dissipated. The dragon had drawn back, surprised by the attack. But now it was angry. It charged forward, jaws gaping.

Kody flipped a chip into that open orifice.

Suddenly the wide-open mouth was a tightly closed mouth, its position reversed. The chip remained inside; the dragon couldn’t open to spit it out. Nor could it blast out much smoke. It seemed that it did not use its nostrils to release smoke, just its mouth. Neither could it bite. It had been deprived of its main weapons.

Zap took a menacing step forward. “Squawk!”

Oh, what a nasty term!

The dragon, thoroughly nullified, turned around and ran away.

But another dragon was already coming to the fore, and Kody saw others behind it. It seemed that the news of the chained sacrificial maiden had spread, attracting predators from all around. First come, first served.

A bulb flashed over Kody’s head. The maiden!

But before he could act on his inspiration, the next dragon was upon them. This was a different species, squat and low, not emitting fire, smoke, or steam. That made it dangerous because they did not know what to expect.

Zosi conjured a huge sandwich that reeked of gasoline. She heaved it at the dragon. The dragon chomped it without thinking, and it detonated. The blast sent peanut butter and pieces of dragon flying in three and a half directions.

That made the next dragon pause, assessing the situation. It was becoming evident that there was no easy prey here.

Now Kody raised his voice. “Dragons!” he yelled. “Hear me! Your attack is pointless. There’s no helpless maiden chained for sacrifice! She escaped! Look at the post! It’s empty!”

Several heads turned to gaze at the empty post. The main attraction was gone. They did not make the connection to the sandwich woman. Then the dragons turned about and walked away. It had been that simple. After they had had to fight three of them, and kill two.

They really are departing. You will be able to use that path once they clear it.

Now Kody took hold of Zosi. He enfolded her, his emotion overflowing. “I couldn’t let you go!”

And now she collapsed into tears. “I thought I was doomed!”

“NoAmi set that trap for me. You took it instead.”

“I had to. You have to complete your Quest.”

“And you don’t have to complete yours?”

“I should, but that means staying alive. That’s funny, isn’t it? I was afraid of getting killed, but I don’t want to live anyway. Not without you.”

“Zosi, if I could stay here and be with you, I would.” He noticed irreverently that her appearance had largely reverted to natural; the jeans were losing their effect, and her hair had turned gray as before. “But I know my dream will end when my Quest is complete. Short of deserting my Quest—”

“No! You must complete it!”

“And so our love is doomed.”

“Forever doomed,” she agreed faintly.

“Esrever doom,” he said. “I thought that was just an ordinary phrase spelled backwards. But it seems to be literal.”

“Squawk.”

“She’s right,” Zosi said. “We have to return to the others.”

We ghosts have reassured them about your safety,
Naomi thought
. They were concerned.

“Tell them we’re on our way,” Kody said.

“Or will be soon,” Zosi said.

He looked at her questioningly.

“Zap will guard us from chance predators,” she said. Then she kissed him so ardently that he could no longer miss her meaning. He had rescued her, she was grateful, but it was more than that. She wanted all of him she could get, right now, because they both knew there was no reasonable prospect of a future together.

“Soon,” he agreed. They were out in the open, but it didn’t concern them. Love was all that mattered at the moment.

Bleep! I’m so jealous!

“Then this one is in honor of you,” Kody said. “For enabling me to rescue her.”

Actually, that recognition does help. I did not die in vain.

14

B
OGEYMAN

Yukay hugged them both. “We were so afraid we had lost both of you, and we could do nothing.”

“We survived, thanks to Zap and Naomi,” Kody said.

But beware. NoAmi still plots against you, and I fear she knows where you are.

“How so?” Yukay asked.

I am her twin. I am dead, but I am feeling a tug. She may be tracking me again. Maybe I should go far away.

“No,” Kody said. “If she tracks you, she tracks you. We’ll close on her soon regardless. Then it won’t make much of a difference.”

Thank you. I value your presence.

“Tell your ghost friends to keep alert. We don’t want to walk into any more traps.”

They are watching. But NoAmi does things indirectly, and they can’t track her communications, just her actual body.

“And we will orient on that body,” Kody said. “Maybe tomorrow we’ll catch her.”

They found an old caterpillar tent and used that for the night. Kody lay with Zosi, just holding her close. “I need to complete my Quest as soon as I can,” he said. “To be sure that I do accomplish it. But that will mean the end of my association with you. That’s the irony of the situation.”

“I know. And I must help you all I can, even if it means losing you sooner.”

“Oh, Zosi! You are being so noble about this.”

“I wouldn’t be, if I thought I had any real choice.”

She was probably right. She was being honest and realistic rather than noble. She was no paragon, just an ordinary woman, regardless of her past. He loved her exactly the way she was.

In the morning they fired up Sniffer and started off, knowing their quarry was close. The ghosts reported that NoAmi remained where she was, almost as if waiting for them. That was odd.

It started uneventfully. They saw an impolite shape flying over the trees, pursued by a worse-looking one. “Flying buttress,” Yukay observed disdainfully. “Followed by the male of the species, the flying butt. I wish they would keep their obscene antics out of the sky.”

Then they came to a circle of giant ears mounted in the ground. “Look! An earring!” Yukay exclaimed. “They perform oracles for passing folk.” She stepped into the circle. “What will our luck be today?” she asked.

The ears wilted and lay flat on the ground. “Uh-oh,” Ivan said.

“That’s a bad sign,” Yukay agreed. “It means we’ll have bad luck today.”

Kody could have lived without that news, but he remained silent.

Then they were intercepted by a crying young woman. “Please, please,” she said. “Are yew the man with the reverse wood chips? I need yewr help right away!”

“But I’m on a Quest,” Kody said. “I can’t take incidental time off.”

“It’s a child!” she said. “A little boy. The Bogeyman’s got him. I can’t save him because I am knot his mother, but I can knot just let him bee eaten!”

“Eaten!”

“That’s what the Bogeyman does. He eats children. It’s horrible. Please, yew must help!”

There was something about her accent that he found odd, but now was not the time to be distracted by irrelevant things. He looked at Yukay.

“Of course we’ll help,” Yukay said, and Zosi agreed. “But it can be hard to make the Bogeyman back off once he captures a child.”