Ethan (Alluring Indulgence) (18 page)

“Sit
your big, bulky ass down.”

Beau
stared down at Zane where he sat. He was serious.
Shit.
Dropping onto
the couch, Beau crossed his arms over his chest.

“How
long have you known?”

“A
long time,” Beau said honestly, surprised by his own admission.

“But
you continued to engage in threesomes with me?”

“They
were easier.”

“Than
what?”

“Accepting
what I suspected.”

“And
that’s why you let me fuck you.”

It
wasn’t a question, but it sounded as though Zane wanted confirmation. Beau
flinched. He knew Zane had been uncomfortable at the time, but his best friend
had moved out of his comfort zone for Beau’s sake. He knew he should be
thankful, but he was shocked to the point he couldn’t form a coherent thought.

“If
it’s any consolation, I think you’re good for E.”

Beau’s
brow furrowed.

“I
don’t know why he is the way he is, but… shit,” Zane paused. “I just want y’all
to be happy. Whatever that means.”

“It’s
not serious,” Beau said defensively.

“Horse
shit,” Zane grumbled. “You don’t do casual sex, Beau.”

“What
the hell are you talking about? I spent years fucking your girlfriends, Zane.”

“You
did. But you weren’t in it for them, were you?”

Beau
looked down at his lap. No, he wasn’t. He’d agreed to it so he could be closer
to Zane. There had always been a curiosity that could never be sated. Not until
V came into the picture. She’d read Beau like an open book.

“I’m
sorry I did that to you,” Zane said, his voice full of remorse.

“You
didn’t do anything to me,” Beau argued. “You didn’t force me. And I still
enjoyed it.”

“But
not like you do with Ethan?”

Nothing
compared to what Beau felt when he was with Ethan. Not that he was going to
tell Zane that.

“Do
you love him?”

Beau
was glad he hadn’t taken a drink because he would’ve probably choked to death.
Drowned from inhaling beer.

“You
don’t have to answer that,” Zane said, a curious smile on his face. “But do me
a favor?”

“Sure.
Anything.”

“Just…
let me know if you need anything.” Zane was swinging the beer bottle in small
circles between his legs as he stared downward. “I’ll always have your back.
You know that.”

Beau
swallowed hard, trying not to get emotional. These conversations with Zane were
infrequent and rare. And truth be told, he had needed this. Needed to know that
Zane supported him. That he understood. “I do know that.”

Zane
looked up at him, and their gazes met across the room. Right there, in that
moment, their friendship healed itself and Beau felt an enormous weight lift
off of his shoulders. He wouldn’t admit it yet, but he was falling in love with
Ethan. And he was grateful that his best friend would be there for him in the
event his world came out from under him.

He
prayed it never came to that.

♂♂

Ethan
had been at the shop for half an hour when Beau’s truck pulled in the drive.
Glancing over at the clock on the wall, he realized it was only six o’clock.
Shit
.
The sun wasn’t even up yet. The guy was an hour early. Figured. Ethan wouldn’t
be able to lay into him for coming into work late.

Yes,
his attitude had taken a drastic decline since Blake’s impromptu appearance and
the argument they had after Beau’s ill-timed departure.

Ethan’s
entire body hummed with the urge to fight. He wanted to blame it on Blake’s
arrogance, but the fact that he’d asked Beau to stay and was rewarded with the
sight of Beau driving away had left a gaping hole inside Ethan’s chest. He had
actually opened himself up for the first time and look where it had gotten him.

No-fucking-where.

When
Beau’s boots shuffled on the concrete, Ethan tried not to look up from what he
was doing. Tried. Didn’t succeed.

“Mornin’,”
Beau greeted, sounding as tired as Ethan felt.

“Coffee’s
in the office,” he informed him, trying to pretend this was nothing more than
business. If he could keep himself distanced from this man, he’d consider it a
good day.

“Thanks.”

Obviously
Beau wasn’t much in the talking mood at the butt-crack of dawn either, and
Ethan should’ve been relieved.

He
wasn’t.

He
wanted to bombard Beau with words. Ask him why he left. Explain what had
happened with Blake. Yell at him for walking away.

He
didn’t do any of that.

Sipping
his coffee, he fiddled with the engine beneath the open hood, not actually
seeing anything in front of him.

For
the last few hours, before he’d finally forced himself out of bed, he had
tossed and turned, feeling completely and utterly alone for the first time in a
long time. And it wasn’t like he didn’t spend every night by himself. But for
some reason, after what happened between him and Beau the day before, the
loneliness had taken on a heavier weight. He felt smothered by it.

But
there wasn’t much he could do about it now.

“Want
me to work on something specific?” Beau asked, appearing to have distanced
himself from Ethan on every level except maybe the business one.

Ethan
didn’t like that fact.

He
liked the Beau who had pursued him for the last few months. Liked the guy who
managed to snag his attention without even trying.

Not
this guy. The one who acted like nothing happened yesterday. Nothing that had
actually tilted Ethan’s world on its axis and left him reeling from the
intensity. Only he couldn’t let Beau know that. It was clear that Ethan was
becoming the clingy guy he absolutely couldn’t stand.

And
he was being selfish to boot. He wanted the distance between them, right? Why
should it matter who instigated it?

“You
have any experience with heavy equipment?” Ethan asked, hoping he sounded
professional. Considering he hadn’t bothered to look at Beau since he came out
of the small office, he wasn’t sure how well he was faring.

“Yup,”
Beau said easily.

Ethan
did turn to look at him then. “Not at Dillinger’s, I take it?”

Beau
shook his head as he sipped his coffee. “I help my uncle on occasion, when he’s
overloaded.”

Ethan
had no idea who Beau’s uncle was, and it didn’t appear Beau was going to offer
him any additional details. “That tractor’s hydraulics went out last week.
Can’t get it to lift,” he explained to Beau, nodding his head toward the mountainous
tractor that was taking up one of the heavy duty bays.

“Got
it,” Beau said simply, not bothering to linger any longer to chat.

Ethan
was fine with that. Really.

Grabbing
his now empty coffee mug, he made his way to the office to get a refill. When
he walked inside, Ethan noticed the coffee pot was once again full. Apparently
Beau had started another pot.

Fuck.

Why
did he have to be so damn thoughtful? That was only another reason Ethan wanted
to bang his head against the wall. The guy was too good to be true. Had to be.
That was the only logical conclusion.

After
pouring another cup of java, Ethan forced himself to get to work. The
opportunity to get caught up had presented itself by way of Beau, and he damn
sure wasn’t going to pass it up.

Mainly
because he had no idea how long it was going to last.

♂♂

The
day passed without incident.

That
was a first in an awful long time for Beau. Considering he was used to spending
his days usually working solo because Ricky was too busy with his head up his
own ass, it was nice to work with Ethan. The man was a machine. He bounced
around from one job to another, keeping them all documented and up to speed.

After
Beau had gotten as far as he could with the tractor, including ordering the
parts he needed, he had asked Ethan what else he could do. Thankfully, Ethan
showed him the ropes. Every job was ticketed, and all of the details were right
there in a file folder, including parts ordered, issues identified, and
miscellaneous notes. Beau hadn’t needed to bother Ethan for the rest of the
day, picking up a couple of tickets and working them.

Avoiding
Ethan hadn’t been in his original plan, but the second he walked through the
door, he sensed that Ethan was in a mood. And he knew, based on experience,
pushing Ethan wouldn’t get him real far. He had needed to let Ethan simmer down
some before he decided to address this new stage they’d moved to.

And
yes, Beau considered them to be at a progressive point in this relationship, no
matter what the hell Ethan thought. Last night hadn’t been pretty, but it had
been necessary.

By
the time five o’clock rolled around, Beau was starving. They’d skipped lunch,
working straight through without even realizing. And now, based on the way
Ethan was going, the guy didn’t plan to stop anytime in the near future.

Beau
was hoping to change his mind.

“Hey,”
he called out as he joined Ethan by Brendon’s nearly finished work truck.

“You’re
free to go whenever you want,” Ethan mumbled from beneath the hood.

“I’m
here until you’re done,” Beau told him, hoping that would at least get Ethan’s
attention. Never mind the fact that he would stay until Ethan had the
opportunity to leave as well. If there was work that needed to be finished, he
wasn’t going to walk out just yet. He wasn’t built that way.

“No
worries. I’ll finish up with this one and head out. See you tomorrow.”

Again,
Ethan didn’t bother to look at him, but Beau had gotten used to that throughout
the day. Ethan had looked at him maybe five or six times during the ten hours
they’d been working practically side by side. The rest of the time he appeared
to be ignoring him.

Well,
Beau was tired of being ignored.

“It’ll
be here in the morning when we get back,” Beau told him, waiting for that
instant when Ethan finally lost his temper. He knew it was coming. The guy had
kept it bottled up all day.

Beau
had forced himself to keep his mouth shut up to this point. When he got there,
he wanted to drill Ethan about Blake’s appearance last night. He wanted to know
what happened, when Blake left –
if
Blake left. But, he hadn’t been able
to bring himself to ask.

“I
said I’m good, Bennett,” Ethan bit out, pulling his head out from beneath the
hood and standing tall. He spared a quick glance in Beau’s direction before
slipping around to the side of the truck.

Having
had enough, Beau followed close behind. Before Ethan could get the driver’s side
door open, Beau put his hand up and stopped him.

“What
the fu–”

He
didn’t let Ethan get the words out before he was on him. Backing Ethan’s stiff
back against the door, Beau sandwiched him, pressing the full length of his
body against Ethan’s front. Slamming his mouth down on Ethan’s, he took what
he’d longed for since the second he walked out of Ethan’s house the night
before.

Surprisingly,
Ethan didn’t push him away. Instead, his body seemed to relax beneath the
onslaught, his hands sliding up to rest on Beau’s hips. The scent of grease and
sweat and man mingled together, making Beau crazy with lust. He wanted Ethan.
He wanted what they’d shared yesterday.

He
wanted more.

Aware
of the grease staining his fingers, he resisted the urge to cup Ethan’s face,
but he couldn’t resist sliding his hand into his hair, dislodging his ball cap
as he pulled him closer, holding him as he devoured him with lips, teeth,
tongue.

By
the time they were both panting, Beau figured some of Ethan’s resistance had
died a quick, painless death. Not willing to risk Ethan running, Beau separated
their mouths, but kept his fingers twined in the soft hair at the back of
Ethan’s head.

“You
need to lose the attitude,” Beau stated forcefully.

“Fuck
you,” Ethan retorted, without the blast of enmity Beau figured he had meant to
include.

“I
can arrange that,” Beau taunted.

“Can
you? You think I can handle it?”

“What
the hell is that supposed to mean?” Beau was thoroughly confused.

“You
sure I won’t break? You treat me like I’m someone you should cherish.”

Beau
frowned, not expecting to see this side of Ethan. Was he mocking what they’d
shared yesterday? “What are you saying?”

Ethan
glared at him, his throat working as he swallowed several times.

“I
don’t want gentle, Beau. I’m not that man.”

Beau
got that. Ethan had made a point to prove it. But Beau could see past that
aggressive need to be in control. He wouldn’t tell Ethan that though.

“There’s
a time and place for everything,” Beau assured him. “You want me to slam you
against this truck and fuck you until you scream my name? That what you want,
E?”

“What
if I said yes?” Ethan taunted.

Beau’s
cock went stiff instantly. His body was perfectly in tune with the idea of
turning Ethan around and impaling him. But was that what Ethan wanted? Shit,
was that what Beau wanted for his first time?

“Can’t
do it, can you?” Ethan snarled, trying to push him away.

Beau
backed off, his own emotions at war inside of him. Did he want Ethan to push
him away? No. Did he want to give in to this urge and potentially damage all
that he’d worked to establish between them?

“No,”
Beau said suddenly. “I can’t fucking do it. I’m not that guy, E.” It was
nothing but the truth. Funny how admitting something so personal felt like he’d
sliced open his chest and given Ethan direct access to his heart.

“Why?
Because you think I’m a fucking pussy?”

Beau
nearly stumbled from the shock of Ethan’s statement. “Where the hell would you
come up with that idea?”

A
storm cloud of emotions darkened Ethan’s eyes and Beau moved closer,
desperately wanting to hear this. But, just as he expected, Ethan didn’t
elaborate.

“Fucking
forget it,” Ethan growled.

Beau
cleared the distance between them in an instant, once again pushing Ethan up
against the truck, his mouth hovering just a breath away from Ethan’s. “I don’t
want to forget it. Why the hell would you think that?”

Again
Ethan didn’t answer, and Beau knew if there was any hope at salvaging this, he
was going to have to talk Ethan down. The man had a trigger-happy temper for
whatever reason, but until Beau could get him to open up, he knew he had his
work cut out for him.

He
never backed down from a challenge. Especially one that was so damned important
to him.

“I
want to spend time with you,” Beau admitted, hoping that, by opening up a
little, he’d bridge some of the chasm that had formed between them last night
when Blake had shown up to ruin the entire night.

“That
so?” Ethan asked skeptically, some of the agitation in his tone cooling. “Kinda
like I needed you last night?”

Beau
knew Ethan was trying to punish him for leaving. He didn’t necessarily blame
him. It had taken more willpower than he thought he possessed just to drive
away. But he’d known it was the right thing to do.

“Yes,
it is so.” Beau was all for trying to reason with Ethan, but he wasn’t up for
arguing with him. He’d learned a long time ago that the guy would only do what
he wanted. For months, Beau had sat by patiently waiting for the moment Ethan
gave in to what was brewing between them. Now that that day had come and gone,
he wasn’t willing to let him go that easily, but he also wasn’t going to fight
him on it.

“Sorry,
I’m busy,” Ethan said harshly.

When
Ethan tried to pull away, Beau quickly grabbed his wrists, lifting his hands
and pressing them securely against the door behind him, holding him in place.