Fall into Forever (Fall into Him Book Three) (6 page)

“I think so,” Jennifer's thoughts shifted. “We had a good talk today at
work.”

“So you being home early isn't because he said something stupid?”

“No,” Jennifer hurried to answer. “Philip sent me home early today
because I'm probably going to have to stay late tomorrow because we're getting
some new files.”

“Sure, files.”

Jennifer could hear the smirk that she was sure was on her friend's
face. “Seriously, Rachel.”

“Sorry. I couldn't resist.”

“There is something else about Philip I need to tell you.” Now that
they'd gone through the stuff with Brad and moved on to Philip, it just made
sense for Jennifer to share everything else she'd learned. “The other day, he
spilled some coffee on his shirt and when I came back from getting some paper
towels, I saw these scars...”

Rachel listened without saying a word as Jennifer explained what she'd
seen, what Philip had told her and her own suspicions regarding the origins of
the scars that marred his back. This time, she also included seeing Eloisa for
the first time before ending with her encounter with the French woman just a
short time ago.

“Wow,” Rachel said after nearly a full minute of silence. “That's…a lot
of stuff.”

“Tell me about it,” Jennifer muttered.

“It does make sense though,” Rachel continued. “All of your theories
about his behavior and all of that.”

“But?” Jennifer knew her friend well enough to know there was a 'but'
coming.

“But I have to ask you the same thing about Philip that I did about
Brad. Do you love him? Not, do you feel sorry for him. Not, is he a good boss.
Not even is he a good lay, though from what you've told me, that's not even a
question. We're talking serious ramifications no matter which man you choose.
And they both have their fair share of baggage, it seems. The only way any of
that will work is if you love him. And if you don't love either one, then you
should choose neither.”

Jennifer was startled by her friend's last statement. She hadn't even considered
that as a possibility. The entire time, she'd been thinking of it as a choice
between two men when, in reality, it was a choice between three different
lives.

She was barely aware that she was saying good-bye to Rachel and
promising to tell her as soon as a decision was made. Her brain was still
trying to wrap around the fact that she'd been coming at this from the wrong
angle. Rachel was right. It came down to who she loved. Brad, Philip, or
neither. And each one had its risks and its rewards.

Brad was comfortable in his predictability. No matter how volatile he
appeared to be, his behavior was actually the easiest to foresee. She'd accept
the proposal and they'd have a quickie wedding after Brad convinced her that
something big wasn't necessary. He'd make her quit her job, claiming he needed
her at home. He'd pretend to want kids, all the while nagging her about taking
her birth control and giving excuses as to why it wasn't the right time yet.

She'd see her family once every couple of years and Brad would barely
let her stay more than a couple hours after her parents' funerals. While he'd
never leave her and she'd never doubt where she stood with him, he'd
continually cheat on her with various surgically enhanced bimbos with IQs
smaller than their freakishly abnormal busts, all the while claiming that is
was her fault that he had to go elsewhere to find something with any type of
skill in bed. She'd spend her days at home, trying to figure out ways to keep
Brad happy while he spent their savings on strippers and alcohol. Every so
often, he'd buy her a gift or take her some place special and they'd spend
several wonderful hours together, reminding her why she'd chosen him in the
first place.

Philip wasn't quite so easy to predict a future for, especially with
this whole situation with his father. Jennifer could, at least, get a general
idea. They'd keep sleeping together while he trained her. Sometimes, she'd
still wonder if she was anything more than a living play thing.

Her doubts wouldn't fully go away until she had a ring on her finger,
and even then she'd ask herself if she deserved all of this. Philip's reticence
would return at various intervals, always giving her more self-doubt. They'd
have no kids since Philip lived in constant fear of becoming his father and the
majority of their arguments would be about either him keeping secrets about his
past or him not being willing to confront his past.

If she decided that she didn't love either one of them, she could also
predict would happen. For the first few months, Brad would keep after her to
change her mind, but he'd eventually find someone else and disappear forever.
Philip would bury himself in his business. He might continue to train her, but
he might also decide she wasn't worth the effort and either fire her or
'relocate' her. He'd give her a stunning recommendation that would get her a
job at pretty much any hotel in the city, or outside of it if she decided to
move. And while she might find someone else, she knew that a part of her would
always wonder if she'd made the right choice.

Of course, none of those options had taken into consideration what
would happen if Jennifer couldn't choose. It did, as Rachel had said, come back
to love. It wasn't about her being alone, or who she could live with. It was
about who she couldn't live without.

Her cell phone rang, startling her out of her reverie and she
considered not answering it. She wasn't ready to talk to Brad yet. She hadn't
made her decision yet and she had a feeling that asking him to wait just a bit
longer wouldn't be something that he'd be willing to do. Still, she sighed, it
wouldn't be fair to let it go to voicemail when she was sitting right here. As
soon as she saw the screen, she was glad she'd gotten up. It wasn't Brad at
all.

“Philip? Is something wrong?” Jennifer was immediately concerned. Had
he found a problem with her work? Or, worse, had Eloisa told him about their
conversation and he was upset?

“No,” Philip reassured her. “Nothing's wrong.” He hesitated, piquing
Jennifer's curiosity. “I was actually calling to see if you wanted to go to
dinner with me tonight. On a date.”

Jennifer was momentarily speechless. Philip, who usually ordered rather
than asked, even when his words were in the form of a question, was actually
asking her to go out with him. This was a date out in public, not sex in a
stairwell or a steamy encounter in a hotel room. This was the type of thing
that went along with a real relationship. Suddenly, she realized that he was
still waiting for an answer.

“Of course. I'd love to go.”

“Great!” There was no mistaking the excitement in Philip's voice. “I'll
pick you up in about an hour.”

It was a good thing, Jennifer decided, that Philip had given her an
hour. Between showering, picking out clothes and getting her hair and make-up
done, she barely had five minutes to spare. The clothes had been the hardest
part. She wanted something different than what she normally wore to work but
wasn't sure exactly where Philip was planning on taking her. Would he be
thinking of something casual because it was their first real date or because
they'd already been having sex? Or, would he want something fancier for either
of the same reasons?

Philip wasn't one to skimp on anything, she finally decided. If she was
overdressed, she'd know that she didn't know him as well as she thought she
did. Because she didn't really have a huge wardrobe, that narrowed down her
options considerably. Finally, she decided on her usual wedding-party dress.
Rachel had helped her pick it out the previous year and it was nice without
being flashy. The dark green made her hazel eyes appear more green than brown
and it accentuated her curves without being trashy. Though the hem was a little
higher than she normally wore and her cleavage more exposed, she liked the way
she looked in the dress.

The appreciative expression on Philip's face when she opened the door
told her that he liked how she wore the dress as well. He held out the white
roses in his hand, an almost shy expression on his face. Jennifer was
surprisingly touched by the display. Whenever Brad had brought her flowers,
they had been in place of an apology for something he'd said or done. These,
Jennifer thought as she put them in a vase, came with no strings attached. After
all, it wasn't like he needed to give her anything to sleep with her. She'd
shown that already.

They made small talk as their driver took them across town. It was the
first time, Jennifer realized, that they'd talked about their likes and
dislikes since that first night when he'd asked about her music. The
conversation continued as they entered one of the nicest restaurants in town.
She'd never been inside the place, but the hostess greeted Philip by name. Not
that it was a surprise. She had a feeling most of the nicest businesses in town
knew Philip Haas.

“Your usual table is ready, Sir,” the hostess gave both Philip and
Jennifer a warm smile. “If you'll follow me.”

Philip extended his hand to Jennifer, surprising her once more. He
threaded his fingers through hers and pulled her after him as they followed the
hostess. The booth was in a secluded corner, far enough from the other tables
and booths that they were virtually alone. As Jennifer slipped into one of the
seats, she couldn't help but notice that this wasn't the type of restaurant one
used for business meetings. The lighting was low and intimate, the music suited
to a romantic ambiance. It was the type of place Jennifer could imagine being
taken for an anniversary or for a proposal. She could almost see it: Philip
down on one knee, a ring box in his hand.

“Does that sound okay?”

Jennifer blinked. She'd completely missed the question. As the blood
rose to her cheeks, she hoped the lighting was dim enough to hide the blush.
“I’m sorry, what?” She mentally scolded herself for her distraction.

“The wine I ordered. You didn't express an opinion, but I just wanted
to make sure it was okay.”

“Fine,” Jennifer immediately answered even though she didn't know what
he'd ordered. Besides the fact that Philip knew more about these things than
she did, wine was the last thing on Jennifer's mind at the moment.

A few minutes later, Jennifer's opinion was justified as the waiter
poured the best wine Jennifer had ever tasted. As they sipped their drinks and
ate their appetizer, Philip asked some little questions and invited Jennifer to
do the same. They covered books they'd both read and movies they'd seen as well
as ones they had yet to enjoy. Philip talked about the places he'd been and
Jennifer told him about the places she wanted to go. It was a pleasant surprise
each time they found another thing in common and Jennifer began to feel hope
that there was more to the two of them than amazing sex.

When the waiter took away their empty plates and told them that their
entrees would be out shortly, the expression on Philip's face shifted, taking
the energy between them with it.

“Can I ask you something personal?”

Jennifer's stomach tightened and she was glad she'd only nibbled at the
stuffed mushrooms. She nodded. Without being told, she knew that this was going
to tell her what she needed to know to make her decision. “Of course.”

“What's your relationship like with your parents?”

Okay, not the question she'd been expecting, but she could see this
conversation taking her where she'd wanted to go for the past couple of days.
She kept her answer straightforward and simple. “I'd been out of touch with
them for a while and things are still a bit tense but we're working things
out.”

She took a deep breath and gave Philip more. She wanted it all out on
the table. If they were going to work, she didn't want to hold on to any
secrets. “I was in a long-term relationship that most of the other people in my
life didn't approve of. Due to some of the things that happened between my ex
and me, things got very strained with the people closest to me. He was
controlling and kept me away from the people who didn't like him, which was
pretty much everyone. When we broke up, I went to my friends and family and
told them that I wanted to patch things up. Most of them were willing to try.”

As she talked about her parents, Jennifer pictured the expressions on
their faces if she told them that she was going to marry the man who'd kept
them apart for so many years. It wasn't a pleasant image. If Rachel disapproved
and she hadn't been around when Jennifer had been dating Brad, Jennifer was
sure that her tenuous reconnection with some of her old friends would be lost
if she chose to accept his proposal.

The waiter slid their plates in front of them as she finished her
explanation. Philip thanked the young man politely and waited for him to leave
before turning his attention back to Jennifer.

“I'm glad to hear that your parents are such good people,” Philip
started slowly. “You're fortunate to have grown up with a family like that.”
His fingers went to his collar again and Jennifer could see on his face that he
wanted to say more but that he was struggling with something.

“If you don't mind me returning the question,” Jennifer kept her voice
soft and gentle, as if she didn't want to spook him. “What's your relationship
like with your parents?”