Female Ejaculation (50 page)

The sexual anatomy of women is deliciously intertwined and integrated. For an experienced ejaculator, gushing can happen from other sources than the G-spot. You have at least two physical channels of stimulation: the G-spot and the clitoris. The fact is that the clitoris and the vagina’s outsides are fed by one nerve, while the inside of the vagina where the G-spot is located is fed by another nerve. The average
woman gets more outside clitoris stimulation during sexual play than inside G-spot contact.

When this second powerful inner pathway is opened up, you’ll probably experience waves of pleasure much more intense than anything you’ve ever felt before. This often breaks through ingrained resistance, allowing the nectar to flow. When you fully open to you sexual power, you can ejaculate from either G-spot or clitoris stimulation, or from both together.

If the ejaculate comes from the G-spot, how is this possible? A highly orgasmic woman can easily spread subtle sensations to other parts of her body, building engorgement wherever she chooses. So, there are other routes to female ejaculation than the most direct pathway through the G-spot.

A little known aspect of female anatomy makes this easier to understand. The clitoris isn’t simply a sensitive little bud hiding under the intersection of your outer lips a couple of inches above the vagina’s mouth. The clitoris also has a shaft that extends upward toward the pubic bone, and it has legs that extend back down toward the vagina’s insides. In fact, different lobes of this extensive system of erectile tissue spread to all sides of the vagina, including the G-spot.

Now, it’s likely that, similar to most women, you can feel different sensations localized in different parts of this extensive super-clitoris in response to different kinds of sexual play. Of course, now we know that all of these parts are interconnected, which means you have a physical channel to spread excitement from one part of your genitals to other parts.

If you’re relaxed in your sexuality with open energy channels, touching the clitoris from the outside can stimulate the G-spot on the inside, and touching the G-spot from the inside can stimulate the clitoris. If you’re skilled in circulating sexual energy, this can further expand engorgement from one place to another.

With enough practice, stimulating any sensitive area can stimulate all other sexually responsive areas. Touch a breast, and the clitoris swells. Nibble an earlobe, and have an orgasm. Tap the sacrum, and ejaculate. With the build-up of enough sexual energy, you can reach the O-Zone and ascend into a state of continuous ecstasy.

Once a woman is in the O-Zone, she might ejaculate when her partner kisses her, brushes her neck, looks lovingly at her, or just whispers endearments. Wow!

We’ve already discussed the emotional issues that can get in the way of pleasure, but physical conditions can get in the way of learning to ejaculate, too.

Female disorders that irritate or inflame your reproductive system can impede your sexual pleasure. This may include pain or discomfort due to a physical condition, such as a vaginal or urinary infection. Inflammation of the paraurethral glands is analogous to male prostatitis and may be caused by an infection. Not only is this painful, but it can get worse if not treated right away. If you’re healthy, you shouldn’t experience pain during G-spot massage or any attempt to ejaculate. If you do, see your gynecologist.

Medical conditions in other parts of your body can impede your ability to relax and enjoy sexual pleasure. This includes illnesses that sap your energy, such as the flu, or problems that cause back or hip pain. Anything that affects your nervous system’s response to sexual stimulation can get in the way of pleasure, orgasm, and ejaculation.

Medications and certain herbs that affect blood flow to your genitals or retard the nervous system can decrease your responsiveness to sex. Anti-depressants, especially, can inhibit sex drive in many people. Check
with your physician if you have questions regarding the potential side effects of your particular medication.

As far as we know, there haven’t been any studies to date linking STD (sexually transmitted disease) transmission to female ejaculation. Our greatest concern is spreading the life-threatening HIV and Hepatitis C viruses. We do know that these and other STDs are passed from one lover to another by introducing fluids into the bloodstream. It’s logical to assume that there’s a risk of ejaculate fluid carrying infectious organisms. We urge you to openly discuss your sex history and exchange recent STD test results with new partners. If you become aware that your partner has an infectious condition, it’s best to avoid play that results in squirting. Unless you address your fears, concern about disease is a common cause of the psychological resistance that prevents people from letting go sexually.

While we’ve already outlined the emotional issues that get in the way of pleasure, let’s talk about how these issues specifically relate to female ejaculation.

Fear of letting go is the biggest barrier to learning to ejaculate. You have to learn to surrender in order to have that kind of gushing orgasm. If you feel that fully giving in to your sexuality is dangerous, you’ll be driven to maintain tight control. You’ll do much better the more you like sex and the more you like a variety of sex. Remember that there’s no right or wrong, good or bad. Your body is your temple — your gift from the gods. Enjoy and experience all that you are, and don’t be afraid of getting messy.

“What will my lover think of me if I can’t?” Trying too hard can be its own problem. When you’re learning to ejaculate, there’s a temptation to push out before you’re aroused enough. You can end up putting too much pressure on yourself and creating performance anxiety. Let whatever happens unfold in its own time, and enjoy the ride. Maybe you won’t get it the first time or even the second or third time. So what?
You can still have a great time. Once you figure it out, you have it for life, so cut yourself some slack.

“Come on, baby, spray me NOW!” Real or imagined pressure from your partner can create the kind of tension that impedes the learning process. Learning to squirt requires releasing mental stress and surrendering to orgasmic energy. Without surrendering, you’ll limit your ecstasy, wet or dry. So, just let go of any kind of pressure and enjoy yourself.

When you push the envelope and try something new, relationship issues often rear their ugly head, particularly when it has to do with sex. You might run into your partner’s lack of patience or ability to empathize. You might also discover that you have fears that your partner will judge you sexually. It’s a good idea to talk about any fears of judgment or feelings about bodily fluids and excretions. Without addressing these issues, you may find yourself unable to relax and get turned on enough to ejaculate.

Do your best to begin the process with an open, accepting, and optimistic approach. If you find that you have difficulty learning to ejaculate after half a dozen sessions, take the time to review the challenges above, as well as the chapter about healing. Most likely, the issue is psychological, but if you work with a therapist, you can probably resolve it and still enjoy the ejaculation experience.