Female Ejaculation (23 page)

Supplies, Showering, Setting, Stretching, and Settling.

Arrange yourself in front of a mirror for this practice if you can.

Caress your whole body, long and sensuously, with oil if you like. Begin without focusing on the most erogenous zones. As you become more turned on, concentrate more on your breasts and other powerful external trigger spots. Continue your stimulation until you become highly aroused and wet.

Using your chosen sex toy without vibration, begin using the in-and-out stroke slowly and gently, gradually going deeper. Every time you penetrate a little further, simply stop and hold, resting your hand on the new tissue with just a little pressure before you begin moving again. It’s like a gentle introduction so there’s no shock, no surprise, and no feeling of assault. If you pay careful attention, you’ll know to move on when you sense you have relaxed, become more present and sensitive, or feel stronger pleasurable sensations. Don’t hesitate to add more lubricant any time you feel any dryness or pulling. If you have several dildos, experiment with each of them, varying the speed and depth, to discover what you prefer.

After you have reached as deeply inside your vagina as you can with in-and-out strokes and holding, begin circling. Try both clockwise and counter-clockwise, first near the opening, then more and more deeply. Experiment with small and large circles, as well as the windshield wiper stroke until you can tell what’s best for you.

If your equipment allows, now practice with the come-hither stroke. This is where the curved shape of a special G-spot toy excels because it gives you leverage to reach around behind your pubic bone and drag all the way out. Try different entries, depths, and angles. Try shallow, deep, short, and long strokes. If you have a bendable dildo, experiment with various bends. See what you prefer.

If you’re getting turned on and still comfortable, continue, and enjoy yourself without agenda. We urge you not to press harder, speed up, or include vibration just yet. Simply appreciate the long, slow sensual excitement you’re creating. But if you want to go for it after enough subtle stimulation, don’t hesitate. You may just surprise yourself with a gush of liquid. Celebrate any new highs, peaks, and orgasms you give yourself.

When you decide to end your session, relax gradually, and slow down your movements. We really like the energy connection of one hand on the vulva and one hand on your heart at this point. Reflect on what you discovered.

Supplies, Showering, Setting, Stretching, and Settling.

Always discuss desires, concerns, and boundaries in the moment before beginning. Continue stimulation until she’s wet and highly aroused. Remember, without sufficient turn-on, her G-spot may remain quiet and submerged. If it’s not engorged enough, the giver may not be able to feel it.

Caress your partner’s whole body, long and sensuously, with oil if she wants. Begin without focusing on the most erogenous zones. As she heats up, concentrate more on her breasts and other powerful external trigger spots. Don’t forget to ask permission before touching the vagina and clitoris. Be sure to use your communication skills to stay in touch and flow together. Then, continue stimulation until she becomes highly aroused and wet.

After asking permission to enter the vagina, use one finger to begin the in-and-out stroke slowly and gently, gradually going deeper. Each time you penetrate a little further, stop and hold until she’s ready for you to continue. Check in verbally as often as needed to stay in sync. If you pay careful attention, even without words you’ll know when to move on by sensing her relaxation, heightened sensitivity, or increased arousal. After asking, experiment with two or more fingers to see what she likes the best. And remember to add more of her chosen lubricant when there’s any hint of friction or dryness.

After you’ve reached as deeply inside the vagina as you can with in-and-out strokes and holding, begin circling. Try both clockwise and counter-clockwise, first near the opening, then more and more deeply. Experiment with small and large circles, as well as the windshield wiper stroke until you can tell what she prefers. Tell her what you’re doing. She’ll want to know.

Now, practice with the come-hither stroke. Try different finger bends, depths, and angles. Try shallow, deep, short, and long strokes. Use one, two, or more fingers. Ask her to tell you which area or stroke is most intense. Again, always let her know what you’re doing.

If she’s getting turned on and is still comfortable, continue pleasuring her without a goal in mind. Give more or less stimulation based on whether she moves toward you or away from you. We urge you not to press harder and speed up yet. Simply appreciate the long, slow, sensual excitement, but if you want to go for it after enough subtle stimulation, wonderful! There’s nothing wrong with ejaculating or having an orgasm without ejaculation at this stage. Celebrate any new highs, peaks, and orgasms you create together.

When she decides to end your session, gradually slow down your movements. Place one hand on her vagina and the other hand on her heart.

Talk about what you discovered, and hug, kiss, or hold each other.

Supplies, Showering, Setting, Stretching, and Settling.

Discuss the Partnering Questions before beginning.

Caress your own or your partner’s whole body, long and sensuously, with oil if she wants. Begin without focusing on the most erogenous zones. As she becomes turned on, concentrate more on her breasts and other powerful external trigger spots. Don’t forget to ask permission before touching the vagina and clitoris. Be sure to use your communication skills to stay in touch and flow together. Then, continue stimulation until she is highly aroused and wet.

After asking permission to enter her vagina, use the one finger in-and-out stroke slowly and gently, gradually going deeper. Each time you penetrate a little further, stop and hold until she’s ready for you to continue. Warn her as you transition to circling her G-spot first, followed by the come-hither stroke at the same slow speed and gentle pressure.

When you feel her G-spot swell more, cycle through the four basic strokes again, but this time, with a little more upward pressure. Explain before you change strokes each time, and be sure to check in verbally as often as needed to stay in sync. You can experiment with two or more fingers to see what she likes best with harder pressure.

Return to a gentler pressure with one finger, and cycle through the four basic strokes again. This time, however, stroke a little bit faster. Explain before you change strokes each time, and be sure to check in verbally as often as needed to stay in sync. You can experiment with two or more fingers to see what she likes best with a faster cadence.

Now that you’ve played with all of the basics, use your creativity to experiment using increased pressure and speed with the basic strokes. Always warning her first, try different combinations using one, two, or more fingers. Watch carefully to see what she likes and what she doesn’t. Though a lot of talking may distract from her pleasure, remember that you’re still exploring. Soon you’ll have the tools to be synchronized and go for maximum turn-on.

When she decides to end your session, gradually slow down your movements. Place one hand on her vagina, and the other hand on her heart, if she likes it.

Discuss how the practice went for both of you. What did you both learn? What worked best? What did you learn to look out for? Does she have suggestions for the next time?

Hug, kiss, or hold each other to close your sacred space and time together.