— CATHY FROM
MEDICINE HAT
, ALBERTA, CANADA
TIME TO PUT IT ALL TOGETHER
TRY IT, YOU’LL LIKE IT
Remember the punch line from the TV ad years ago: “Try it — you’ll like it?” That’s how we feel about female ejaculation.
Many women are natural ejaculators. Others have taught themselves to be. But it’s probably more common than you think. In one of our recent on-line surveys, two-thirds of our female visitors reported that they ejaculate.
Scientists estimate that from 10% to 40% of women are conscious of ejaculating when their G-spot swells with adequate arousal and massage. This means they can tell when they emit sexual fluids distinct from vaginal lubrication. Some dribble, some gush, some downright squirt and spray. Mostly, this happens during orgasm, but some women do it at other times, too, when they’re really turned on.
IT’S TRULY WONDERFUL STUFF
Believe Jeffre when she says it’s not just for show. “It’s a truly ecstatic experience you don’t want to miss out on!” Since the payoff in sexual ecstasy is so fantastic, you definitely want to explore your Goddess-given talent to gush.
Women who understand the gift of ejaculation relish this feeling of warm release, and their lovers swoon when showered with such an intimate gift. Somraj, for one, finds supreme delight in being doused by the nectar.
Maybe you’re worried that you can’t achieve ejaculation, but believe us, any woman can develop the knack. Before you’re done with this chapter, you’ll know exactly how to go for it, and if you’ve worked through the practices up to this point, your body will be primed and ready for the experience. Isn’t that exciting?
WHERE TO START
Since this book is about female ejaculation, you might have been tempted to skip directly to this chapter. We applaud you for going for what you want, but it’s only fair to warn you that learning female ejaculation depends on the many other things contained in prior chapters.
Dribbling, squirting, and gushing is a package deal, depending on much of what came before.
You need to understand female anatomy, G-spot massage, and orgasmic response. We can’t promise, but knowing about these things may be essential for you personally to be able to experience ejaculation. On the other hand, a woman with a well-trained partner who already experiences mind-blowing G-spot orgasms is already very much on the verge of gushing.
Did you know that the word
orgasm
comes from the Greek, “to swell with wetness?” That means that ejaculation is every woman’s birthright. But anything worth doing is worth doing with as much pleasure as possible, which is why we strongly recommend you read the previous chapters before attempting to master female ejaculation.
On the other hand, if you’re committed to trying it now, go for it with our love and support. If you don’t get the hang of it quickly, you can always go back to study the skills earlier in this book.
WHY EJACULATE?
If you’re a woman, why would
you
want to learn to let your waters flow? If your partner is a woman, why would you want
her
to learn?
Whether you just think it’s cool, you want to experience something new, or you imagine that having continuous orgasms would be ecstatic, you’re on the right track. It’s just another of life’s intrinsic flows. If you say “Yes!” to life, you’ll probably want to say “yes” to ejaculation.
Learning to let your waters flow increases your sensitivity and enhances your pleasure. When you can surrender to the full sexual power lying dormant deep within, you free untapped reservoirs of life force. It’s empowering and liberating to many women to learn to “spill their seed” and be applauded for it like guys for so long. Plus, a wet orgasm is often a great orgasm. Why not strive to have bigger, better, stronger ones if you can?
Learning to ejaculate can also help you release negative emotions trapped in your tissues that create sexual blocks and inhibitions. In fact, if you’ve lost interest in sex, love, and intimacy with your beloved, learning to ejaculate can be a great way to recapture those feelings.
CONTROVERSIES
Despite the conclusive evidence that the G-spot and female ejaculation exist and have been documented since the Greek Golden Age, many authorities have refused to acknowledge them. If you ask your family physician or even your gynecologist about it, you may be surprised at the negative response.
Because of this ignorance, in the modern United States, many hapless women have had completely unnecessary surgery to correct urinary incontinence. Doctors call unwanted peeing
incontinence
. It makes us sick to think of the destructive and unnecessary surgeries performed when some women are simply experiencing something that’s normal, healthy, and pleasurable.
Chemical analysis has proven that female ejaculate is not urine because it contains such small amounts of urine’s key components. It’s sweet, thin, and chemically different.
Anyone who’s been with a female ejaculator knows it has little or no odor and is mostly colorless, not yellow. It’s mostly clear and sometimes has a little milky portion with a watery consistency. In fact, female ejaculate more closely resembles a thinner version of male semen, but obviously without the sperm cells.
What is it, exactly? It contains a higher level of glucose than urine. Also, it includes two components of urine, urea, and creatinine, but in much smaller concentrations. Female ejaculate also contains PSA, prostate specific antigen, and the enzyme called prostatic acid phosphatase. These last two are also found in the secretions from the male prostate.
CULTURAL CONDITIONING
While we’re on the subject of history, it’s interesting to consider the Batoro, an indigenous tribe in Uganda, who teach their young women to ejaculate before marriage. Batoro women who can “spray the wall” are considered to be more desirable than those who can’t.
Now, that’s a twist in sharp contrast to the modern western world, isn’t it? Imagine having your mother, aunts, and their best friends teaching you how to have G-spot orgasms and soak the bed with wetness. It’s mind-blowing, right?
The Batoro elevate sexual pleasure to a respected place in society. They believe it’s good, so there is no psychological conflict associated
with it. We wish modern westerners could honor their sexuality so fully. Many of our social and physical problems come from sexual ignorance and wounding early in life leading to unfulfilling sex lives, not to mention unfulfilling lives in general.
We hope your own journey toward becoming a fully sexual woman or man will allow you to be open with your children. Wouldn’t it be great if all parents approached sex in a way that doesn’t perpetuate their own shame and doubt? Wouldn’t it be wonderful if all parents supported their children’s growth, confidence, and pride in their ability to be sexual?
If you’re proud of your sexuality and feel no shame about it, you will find it easier to be more frank with your children than your parents were with you.
A STORY ABOUT HOW IT REALLY SHOULD BE
The man and woman checked into the motel about three in the afternoon. The room had mirrors all around, including over the bed. A large hot tub was in the corner. They plugged in the boombox and started playing their favorite lovemaking music. After decorating the room with flowers, candles, and ample towels all over the bed, they slowly undressed for each other.
“I want to pleasure you beyond your wildest dreams,” he said as he looked into her eyes. She sighed deeply and began to lightly scratch his shoulder and arm. His penis began showing signs of growth. She could feel that her vulva was already swollen, but she wanted to go slowly and savor every moment.
They opened the bottle of champagne, and he filled the two glasses with bubbly. They crawled into the tub and gazed deeply at each other. “I love you with all my heart,” she whispered. His mouth opened and with wonder, he said, “My God, you’re so beautiful.”
After lightly bathing and laughing a lot, they dried each other off and moved over to the king-sized bed. After about an hour of stroking, light massage, delicious licking, lots of moaning, and energetic orgasms, his penis was hard as a rock. Fortunately, her vagina was very swollen and juicy and ready to be penetrated.
Looking deeply into her eyes, he slowly lowered himself, and his penis began to penetrate her. He was attentive to the speed as he carefully moved in and out. His penis entered just a little more with each stroke because he knew that was exactly what turned her on the most.
The deeper he went, the louder and louder her screams became. When he was all the way inside her, she had her next orgasm. Interspersed in her peaks and climaxes was the feeling that her waters were beginning to flow.
She was slipping into the O-Zone and found that her orgasms were coming regularly. With each orgasm, she pushed out without even thinking about it. Her partner responded by making sure his penis didn’t come out all the way. With his penis at the opening of her vagina, he could feel her ejaculate warm and wet against his skin. She writhed and moaned as he moved inside all the way again.
With each orgasm, her ejaculation became more voluminous. After about ten orgasms like this, he just had to look. Being turned on visually like most guys, he wanted to see the fluid pour out of her.
The next time she had an orgasm and pushed out, he withdrew his penis all the way and watched a huge amount of ejaculate gush from her vagina and spray him. They both simultaneously exclaimed “wow” and laughed. Without much delay, he put his penis back inside her and stroked some more.
When both began to tire and feel a little hungry, they decided to take a break. Before closing, they cuddled close and whispered “sweet everythings” into each other’s ears. Both of them agreed it was the hottest sex they had had in a very long time, and both knew there was more to be had after dinner. (By the way, the towels covering the bed were completely soaked.)
EXERCISE:
ATTITUDE DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Do you feel you’ve inherited any taboos about female ejaculation? If so, what are they?
Do you have any concerns about ejaculating on your partner?
If you could change your attitude completely, how would you like to feel about female ejaculation?
THE ANATOMY OF FEMALE EJACULATION
DIFFERENT KINDS OF WETNESS
Female ejaculate is different than the wetness that develops when a woman gets turned on. Vaginal lubrication isn’t expelled from the urethra but from other glands, including the Bartholin glands on the lower wall of the vagina. As Gräfenberg pointed out in 1950, female ejaculate appears around orgasm, not at the beginning of arousal. Even if it was thick enough, that would make it of little use as a sexual lubricant.