Finding Cassie Crazy (19 page)

Monday, Late Afternoon, Cannot See the Moon

Well, hello there Diary
It's me again. Cassie.

It's the third day of the holidays and I'm at Em's place, and Lyd and Em are downstairs doing experimental cooking, and they've been trying to make me tell them what's wrong.

Nothing's wrong. I was supposed to meet my Brookfield penfriend on the last day of school and he didn't show up, and I waited for about five hours like a stupid idiot, and then I was too late to go meet Lyd at the Blue Danish. So, see, there's nothing to tell.

I'm still not the kind of person who writes in diaries so I don't know what I'm doing here. Only, for some reason, I've been thinking about the time when I tried yoga.

I was maybe six years old, and my mum and grandmother were doing yoga in the living room, watching a yoga video so they'd know what to do.

I decided to try it myself (secretly, so they wouldn't laugh at me), and I came up to my room and I was lying on the floor trying to get my feet behind my neck. I did that fairly easily and I felt proud. Only then I got this idea that my feet were stuck there. Like I suddenly forgot I could just take them down. So I started SCREAMING, and Mum and Grandma came running up the stairs, opened my bedroom door, saw me on the floor with my feet behind my neck and burst out laughing.

Dad came downstairs from his studio to see what was so funny. He ignored Mum and Grandma, who were now falling against the wall hurting themselves they were laughing so hard and he sat down on the floor beside me.

He looked at me carefully, looked at my feet behind my neck, looked at his own feet and swivelled his own neck, as if he was trying to work out how it all fit together. Then he carefully took my feet from behind my neck and put them back where they belonged on the floor.

Then he kissed the top of my head and said, ‘
Now
you're cooking with gas.'

Afterwards, in the kitchen, I heard him tell Mum and Grandma they had a pair of hearts as cold as vanilla ice-cream, and Grandma said, ‘pfft!' and flicked a pea at him.

I, Benjamin Albert Thompson, Lawyer, of 52 Hunting-down Circle, Cherrybrook, in the State of New South Wales, do solemnly and sincerely declare:

THE MISSING WINE

CONVERSATION WITH MY WIFE

CONVERSATION WITH MY SON

CONVERSATION WITH MY DAUGHTER

GERALD AT WORK

HOW I FEEL

Dear Charlie
Hello and welcome to the winter term. ☺I hope you had a happy holiday. Me too. Even though it was only two weeks. Mostly, Lyd, Cass and I hung out together and stayed at each others' homes. Just talking, whiling through the rain and sometimes shopping or seeing a movie. Plus doing each other's assignments. We sometimes exchange assignments, to add flavour.

Cass was kind of eerie and silent for the first few days, like she was keeping something secret. We tried to make her tell us by bribing her with Cherry Ripes; telling her she couldn't use Lydia's massaging-chair any more; and spiking her Coke with bourbon. None of it worked and anyway, she knew there was bourbon in her Coke.

You would know, wouldn't you, because it tastes different.

It's immortal, keeping a secret. I always tell everybody everything.

I have prepared an assessment report for your Date with a Girl, which, as you know, took place on the last day of term before the holidays. You made me promise to give you one, but I have a question, which is: are you kidding around? As you will see from the report, you are a fairly high standard to begin with.

ASSESSMENT REPORT
CHARLIE TAYLOR

It was a pleasure to go on a Date with Charlie Taylor. At first, I was a bit surprised to see that he had not obeyed my instructions about what he should wear but upon consternation it is good to see that he has some character of
his own. And Charlie dressed very well and intriguingly.

Charlie should work on his humour. He was very funny when he told jokes, but he should tell them more often and they should be a bit funnier.

Overall, Charlie was a delight to have in the cinema. He seemed unconsciously nervous at first but that is a pleasure to see, as it makes him human, and he very quickly became cockled, which means he had a relaxed and funny way. He was kind-hearted with the popcorn etc and asked unexpected questions. He told some lively stories about his family but he also asked questions about my family. He did not seem dismayed about my extensive life.

Most importantly, Charlie was very expressive in the impression he got on his face when he first saw me. He was waiting outside the movies when I bore down on him.

This was important because it would have been shame if Charlie had got a disappointed impression, or a shocked and mollified expression. Instead, Charlie got a big, happy smile as if he was glad.

It might be that he was pretending but, if so, he is excellent at pretense.

Well done, Charlie.

A+
Assessment prepared by Emily Thompson

Hey Seb
Thanks for the sunflower. It lasted the whole holidays because I cut the stem at an angle and changed the water every day. This on the advice of Cass.

She's full of surprises that Cass, eh?

Very smooth performance at the Blue Danish Café. How'd you do it?

Lydia

Hi Matthew
Hope you had a nice holiday. I did—mainly my friends and I took turns staying at each other's places.

I just wanted to write and let you know that I still have the folder of material from my mother if you need it. I waited for you at the reserve but I guess you must have got held up somewhere or decided not to come. So it got fairly cold and dark, and in the end I had to leave.

Are you still interested in the information? I can just stick it in the Brookfield mail box at our school if you like and see if it gets to you. Or else I can mail it to you in the regular way if you give me your home address.

Take care

Cassie