Finding Divine (10 page)

“No relationship is easy is all I meant.”

There had to be more to it but he effectively killed all questioning when he dipped his head to capture a tight nipple between his teeth. He nibbled on the hardened bud until she moaned with pleasure, thrashing her head from side to side in ecstasy.

Lifting her hips against his erection, she ground her lower body against his. “Are you going to fuck me or not? I’m horny as hell.”

“Do you promise you don’t mind doing this without protection? I mean, I can go get it and be back in a jiffy.”

“Simon, stop worrying. We’ll be okay. I love you and you love me. What better way is there to express our love other than this?”

“If you’re sure.”

“Simon, you talk too much. Now shut up and kiss me before I die.” Pulling him tightly against herself, Jessica snaked her tongue out to greet his in a seductive dance as old as time. She felt as though her body would explode with passion for him.

Nothing could compare to being with Simon right here and now. And knowing she was loved in return enhanced this moment. Jessica never wanted it to end. Briefly, the earlier incident on the beach flittered through her mind, but Jessica quickly pushed it away. Her love for Simon enabled her to trust him. He’d eventually tell her what his demons were, but until then she wanted to wallow in the newness of their mutual love.

Simon nudged her legs farther apart with his knee, and he rested his cock at her slick opening. “Simon, don’t make me wait. Please take me now,” she begged, squeezing him tightly.

“Oh, God, I love you so much, Jessica,” he moaned, thrusting into her channel with one quick plunge. She raised her hips meeting his thrust, his cock sliding so deeply within her it touched her womb. Nothing could compare to being so deliciously filled by his thick, hard cock.

Simon’s dick without the barrier of a condom created another wave of sensation within her, threatening to take her under. Wrapping her legs around his waist, she moved with him as his cock stroked in and out of her eager pussy. “This feels so good, Simon. I wish we could stay like this forever.” Flashes of heat coursed through her body, and Jessica felt like she was drowning.

“You have no idea how much I’d like to make that happen, baby. I know it may sound clichéd but I’ve never felt this way about any other woman.”

She lovingly brushed a stray lock of hair from his forehead. “And I’ve never felt this way about another man.”

“Good.” Their lovemaking took on a whole new tone after that. Simon positioned himself on his knees, his fingers digging into her thighs. He pumped into her harder and faster making her breasts jiggle with the force of his thrusts.

“Simon!” she screamed, loving every minute of the powerful beast between her legs. Jessica clenched her pussy around his cock, pulling him deeper inside her, holding on for as long as she could. He was so deep, they were one entity.

Jessica explored the hard expanse of his chest, enjoying the feel of the muscles and hollows of his magnificent body beneath her fingertips. She was tempted to pinch herself, just to verify this wasn’t a dream and this sexy man was all hers. And he loved her!

Simon continued to pick up the pace, nearly leaving Jessica breathless. The decadent friction created by his thickness rubbing against her inner walls caused shivers of delight to rack her body.  When her orgasm came, it hit her hard and furiously. “Simon!” she screamed, her body convulsing uncontrollably.

Still, he continued to move within her, not showing any signs of stopping. “I won’t lose you. I can’t lose you,” he began to mutter.

His words made no sense but she held on to him as tight as she could.

“Simon, I’m not going anywhere.” Jessica tried to soothe him. Another pulse of pleasure swam through her, and again she was caught up in the joy of his loving. Simon was like an untamed animal boldly claiming his territory—claiming her.

When the second climax hit Jessica, Simon was ready too. His fingers tightened in her flesh as he grunted his release. A warm gush of his seed filled her pussy. “Oh God, Jessica!” he yelled before collapsing on top of her.

She stroked his sweat-slicked back. “That was fantastic. You were insatiable.”

He looked contrite. “Jesus, Jessica. I didn’t mean to get carried away like that.”

She laughed to reassure him. “Sweetie, it was okay. I liked it.”

“Are you sure?”

“You’ve been asking that question quite a bit. What did you mean when you said you couldn’t lose me? This is all so new between us, why would you even think of it ending?”

He stiffened. “I—I—well, you know how we say things in the heat of the moment. I love you so much that I don’t want anything to ever happen that I would lose you.”

She shook her head. “I don’t see why you would lose me. You’re so wonderful, almost like you’re too good to be true, but you were the one who showed me that I can’t be scared all the time. I’m opening up my heart to you, Simon, and letting myself love, and I’m just glad that you’re the man who taught me how.”

“You have no idea how much it means for me to hear that, but I fear that you won’t always think so.”

“I highly doubt it, unless…does it have anything to do with the way you were acting earlier?”

“Partially, and the other part was because I was concerned that you’d think things were moving too fast and I didn’t want to scare you away. There’s something in my past that may come between us, and…”

Jessica’s heart went out to him. It was obvious that something was weighing heavily on his heart, and though she’d wanted to know earlier, she held back from asking about it this time around for reasons she couldn’t explain. “I trust you Simon, and whatever it is that you have to tell me, I’ll be here when you’re ready. I love you and I don’t think anything will change that.”

“God, I hope so, because what I have to say just might.”

CHAPTER TEN

“Mmm, Simon I wish I could lie here and be lazy with you all day long, but I really have to go home. I need to get up early tomorrow to open the shop. Ellie will be off because the kids have a school holiday.” Jessica rested her head against his chest as they snuggled in the hammock in his backyard. Dennis and Ramona lay on either side on the ground, dozing.

“There’s no one else who could open the shop in your place?”

“Not really. It’s not that I don’t trust the few employees we have, but a few months back, one of the girls who’d been with us from the beginning was found with her hand in the proverbial cookie jar. I know the rest of the workers are basically honest, but we believed she was as well. It’s kind of hard to trust again once your faith in someone has been shattered,” she sighed.

Simon stiffened. Intellectually he realized she had no idea about the secret he been hiding from her for weeks, but it was if she was speaking directly of the situation. If anything he should take this as an opening to tell her. But like every other time, these past two and a half months, it was on the tip of his tongue to tell Jessica but the words simply wouldn’t come. He’d look into her big brown eyes and find himself completely lost.

Fear would take over, because he didn’t want to lose her. He loved her with every breath he took, and she’d surely hate him when she finally learned the truth. It was wrong, because Jessica had the right to know, but Simon told himself just a little longer. He needed to create more memories and more moments to hold on to when she ended the relationship. It wasn’t simply a possibility, it was inevitability. Simon tightened his arms around her and squeezed as hard as he dared.

Jessie lifted her head from his chest. “That feels nice and all, but if you squeeze me any tighter, I may lose my lunch,” she teased.

Simon could only offer a shadow of a smile, still not trusting himself to speak.

“Are you okay?”

He took a deep breath before speaking. “Yeah, I’m fine. I was just thinking.”

“About what?”

“About how much I’ll miss you until we see each other again.” He hoped his words didn’t sound as artificial to her as they did to him.

“That’s really sweet of you to say. I’ll miss you too, but that’s what telephones and video messenger is for.” She crinkled her forehead and frowned as she stared at him. “Are you sure you’re okay, babe? You kind of sound like something is bothering you.”

“I hate saying goodbye to you is all. I promise everything is fine.” It twisted his gut to lie to her so blatantly, but it was either that or destroy things between them that much sooner. “The little time we spend together just isn’t enough for me anymore. Where do you see your future heading?”

She wiggled out of his embrace to move into more of a sitting position. “What do you mean?”

“I guess I want to know if you can see the two of us together for the long haul.”

Jessica chuckled. “Shouldn’t that be the woman’s line?”

“I’m serious, Jessica. What do you want from this relationship? Is this something you’ve given thought to? I realize we’ve been together for a relatively short period, but I can’t see myself with any other woman.”

Jessica paused for a moment as if to give his words some consideration. “Well, I love you, of course.” She placed a kiss against the column of his neck.  “I can see us together for a very long time. But I look forward to each day we’re together.”

It tugged at his heartstrings to hear her speak so lovingly of him. He didn’t deserve it, and he was damned to hell for not being upfront with her, but he was too much of a coward to risk not having her in his life. “How would you like to make this relationship more permanent?”

“Are you asking me to move in with you?” she asked hesitantly.

He tried to gauge her expression, but couldn’t tell what she was thinking. “In a way, but I want more than that. I want you to marry me.”

Her jaw dropped. “Are you serious?”

“I’ve never been more serious in my life. I love you and I want you to be my wife. I’m sorry I don’t have a ring with me, but we can drive down to the city and I’ll get you the biggest rock I can find.”

“Simon, I don’t need a big rock. I…this is all so sudden. We’ve only been dating for a couple months. Everyone will say we’re rushing into this.”

“I don’t care about what other people think. All that matters is how we feel about each other. Besides, I knew when I first saw you, you were the women I wanted in my life always. My feelings for you won’t change tomorrow, next month or even years from now. So why wait when we both know the end result will be the same? Please tell me you’ll make me the happiest man on Earth and be my wife. We can fly to Vegas and do it right away.”

Her brows drew together, a frown marring her pretty face. “Simon, I don’t understand the urgency. Yes, we love each other, but these feelings are all so new to me. You know how I am about being thrust into new situations. It’s a big deal for me to even try a new restaurant without having a panic attack. I’ve never given marriage a lot of thought, but seeing how my parents have acted toward each other in the past several years doesn’t endear me to the idea. I’m not saying I never want to be married; it’ll just take some time for me to get used to the idea.”

His heart sank. If he couldn’t convince her to marry him there was no way he’d be about to hold on to her. Simon realized he had no business trying to pull a stunt like this, but his stomach would twist in knots and he’d break out in a cold sweat.  “I understand, but at least think about it. If we get married, you don’t have to work. I’ll take care of you.”

“It’s nice how you want to take care of me, but I enjoy my independence and earning my own money. I couldn’t give up my job just like that. Ellie and I worked hard to start our little business and it will probably never make as much money as your company, but it’s ours.”

Simon closed his eyes in frustration at seeing his opportunity fly away, but he wouldn’t give up just yet. “I understand. But does this mean you’ll accept my proposal if we were together a little longer?”

“I didn’t say that either. Simon, why are you pushing this so suddenly? We haven’t met each other’s families yet. That brief conversation I had with your cousin at his shop doesn’t count. Besides, my parents would kill me if I just ran off and got married without even saying a word about it. You have no idea what my mother is like. She’d take our eloping as a personal affront to her. I’d never hear the end of it, and you’d become public enemy number one. I care too much about you to subject you to her wrath. I’m sure she’d want something grand and ostentatious.”

Everything Jessica said made sense but he couldn’t quite let go just yet. “And how do you feel? Did you want something huge with all the trimmings?”

“Absolutely not. Crowds make me nervous. Granted, we do have a rather large extended family, but we haven’t really kept in contact with them as we should have after my brother passed. I wouldn’t want much of a fuss. I think when I eventually get married, I’d like something intimate with maybe a handful of  family and close friends; no more than twenty people. If I even had a justice of the peace wedding I couldn’t imagine it without my parents.”

The idea of meeting her parents filled him with dread. How would he be able to look them in the eye knowing what he’d done? It was difficult enough lying by omission to Jessica. They didn’t know about him but he knew about them. Although his father had warned him to stay away from the trial, Simon had gone to the sentencing hearing that had been open to the public.  Guilt ate away at him seeing the three men he’d once called friends stand there and take the rap for what happened that night. Simon felt he should have been standing with them, and had it not been for his father’s influence, he might have been. He couldn’t help looking at Jason’s parents, who still appeared devastated from their loss. Then came the moment when the family members were allowed to make statements to the perpetrators. Simon still remembered every single word of Mrs. Smith’s speech. But the part which stuck in his mind the most were her final words as she looked at all three of them men and calmly stated, “
I hope you have a lot of time to think about what you did before you go to hell.”
Unable to listen to another word without completely breaking down, he’d hurried out of the courtroom and never looked back.

Still those words remained firmly etched in his brain. He was a fool to think he could keep Jessica in the dark for much longer. After all, even if they did get married without first letting her parents know, they’d have to eventually meet them. “You’re right. That was crazy of me to bring up marriage so soon. Forget I mentioned it.”

Jessica raised an arched brow. “Are you rescinding your proposal?”

Simon pulled her back into his arms and gave her a tight squeeze. “Not at all. I would love you to be my wife, but if you want us to move slower, I can live with that, as long as I know we have a future together. I guess I just got a little carried away.”

“Simon, I just have to give this some thought is all. My answer isn’t no. I enjoy being with you and when we’re together nothing else really matters except how we feel, but you have to admit that marriage would be a huge step for both of us. Sacrifices would have to be made on both ends in order for it to work.”

“I know, baby; call me foolish, but it was wishful thinking on my part.”

Jessica smiled, and then gave him a lingering kiss on the lips. His mouth opened beneath hers allowing her tongue to slip inside. His cock jumped to attention. They’d never made love outside in the hammock before, but the thought was appealing. It took some maneuvering without toppling over, but Simon managed to fit Jessica on top of him until her thighs straddled his hips, with their lips still tightly sealed together.

Simon lifted the peasant skirt she wore, and slid his fingers inside her panties. He eased his finger along her damp slit, pushing past the folds until he reached her clit. Jessica moaned against his mouth and he twisted and pinched her hot little nubbin between his fingers. She bucked against his touch, wiggling and writhing. He cock was painfully hard, and he needed to be inside her now or go insane.

Slowly he removed his hand and slipped the crotch of her panties aside.  Jessica tore her mouth away from his and groaned in protest. “Don’t start something you can’t finish.”

“Who says I plan on stopping? I want you. Besides, you’re the one who started it when you kissed me like that. I think you wanted to provoke me, didn’t you?”

Her eyes twinkled wickedly. “Maybe. Oh, Simon,” she sighed, as his fingers grazed her clit again.

“You’re already slick and ready for me. Undo my pants,” he ordered.

Jessica obediently fumbled with his zipper, and it took all his willpower not to toss her to the ground and fuck her senseless. No matter how many times they did this, Simon couldn’t get enough of her. She freed his cock and wrapped her fingers around it. He thrust his fingers into her slick channel, readying her pussy for him.

“Mmm, that feels wonderful.” Her grip tightened on his dick sending electric pulses of pleasure through his body. He couldn’t hold back any longer. Simon needed to be inside her now.

Jessica whimpered when he removed his finger. Then he slid her panties down her hips with her assistance. Careful not to tip  both of them off the hammock, he managed to discard the panties completely and toss them to the ground. It was only as he was about to enter her did he remember that the condoms were indoors.

“Shit,” he muttered.

“What’s wrong?” she asked grinding herself against him. He groaned.

“I don’t have any protection on me.”

“Oh, no. Would it totally kill the moment if you have to go get one? Or Maybe I’ll just go inside with you.”

“No. I rather like the idea of making love to you out in the open.”

“Okay, hurry up and get it. I’ll wait.”

He gave her a quick kiss and lifted her off his body and gently placed her on his side before rolling off the hammock and adjusting his pants. Simon rushed inside his house and dashed to the bathroom. He dug through the medicine cabinet and retrieved a box of condoms when the phone rang. His first instinct was to ignore it. If it was important the person would just have to leave a message.

The phone stopped and just as he was about to walk out to his backyard, he heard Pete’s voice over the answering machine. “Simon, if you’re there pick up. It’s an emergency.”

Simon frowned, looking out the sliding glass doors of his patio to see Jessica swinging from side to side in the hammock, her skirt still hiked over her hips. His mouth watered.

“Simon, please pick up. I need to talk to you, man.” Pete’s voice sounded desperate. His cousin never left messages like that and wasn’t one to panic, so he knew it had to be important. As much as Simon wanted to rejoin his woman, he had to find out what was going on with Pete.

Reluctantly he grabbed the phone and answered. “Hi, Pete. What’s up?”

“Hey man, I’m glad you’re home. I was afraid you were out, but your cell phone went straight to voicemail. I’ve got some bad news for you.”

Simon’s heart pounded. ”Did something happen to Aunt Penelope or Uncle Stu?”

“No. Your father--”

“Did you call as a screen for my parents? Didn’t I tell you I don’t want to talk about them unless I absolutely have to?”