Finding Peace (Finding Series, Book 3) (4 page)

“Why books?” he prodded as the needle pierced his skin again.

“Something about being able to get lost in them I guess,” Gray murmured.

“Did you need to get lost?”

Gray simply nodded.

“Why?”

Gray’s eyes never left his work as he tied off the first stitch. “My parents fought a lot,” was all he said.

“Are they still together?” Luke asked softly.

“Married forty-three years,” Gray said solemnly.

“Happily?”

“If happily means they don’t talk, sleep in separate rooms and my mom drinks herself into a stupor each night while my dad fucks an endless supply of mistresses, then yes, they’re happy.”

The hidden pain in Gray’s voice had Luke wishing he could reach out and stroke the man’s face. But since that was completely fucked up, he asked “What kind of books?” instead.

“Pretty much anything I could get my hands on. The classics – Steinbeck, Hemingway. Vonnegut was my hero.”

“Is that why you became a writer?”

Gray stopped mid-stitch and looked up from what he was doing. “How did you know?”

Luke motioned to the open box of books in the corner of the living room. “I wanted to make sure the top of the bookshelf was strong enough to support your books so I grabbed a few from the box. You were asleep,” he quickly added. “I saw your picture on the dust jacket of one of them.”

Gray almost seemed disappointed by that and Luke felt a pang of guilt go through him though he wasn’t sure what he should feel guilty for. “Gray-”

“How’s that?” Gray asked as he tied off the last stitch. Luke looked down and saw that the edges of the wound were once again closed and the stitches Gray had put in looked surprisingly straight and tight.

“Perfect,” Luke said. “Thank you.”

“Well, you’re a pretty good patient,” Gray said lightly though the comment sounded forced and unnatural.

“Gray, I didn’t mean to upset you…”

“You didn’t,” Gray said with a light smile but before he could stand, Luke snagged him by the wrist and pulled him back down so their knees were touching. He ignored the flash of heat that shot from his fingers down to his belly.

“Liar,” Luke whispered.

Gray’s eyes held his and then dropped to his mouth for the briefest of moments. It was enough to have Luke’s whole body drawing up tight as his nerve endings began to sizzle with an undeniable reality. He wanted Gray.

The truth hit him so hard that Luke released Gray’s arm and he leaned back in his chair to try and put as much distance between himself and the other man as he could. The move seemed to snap Gray out of his daze and he quickly stood and began cleaning up the bloodied gauze on the table.

“I think I’m going to skip dinner,” Gray said. “This stomach flu is really kicking my ass. You can use the guest room next to mine or there’s one at the end of the hallway.”

“I’m actually going to head out,” Luke murmured as he tracked Gray’s movements throughout the kitchen.

“Okay,” Gray said coolly as he began heading towards the hallway leading to the bedrooms but he stopped after just a few steps. He finally turned around and then took several steps until he was leaning heavily against the chair on the opposite side of the kitchen table. “I…I liked the idea that you didn’t know who I was. It’s been a while since I didn’t have to worry about…”

Gray’s voice dropped off and then his eyes fell to the floor. “I just wanted to help you, Luke, the way you helped me yesterday. You could have left me in that ditch. You could have cleaned me out after you got me back here. You could have done a whole lot of shit...guys like you don’t exist in my world.” Gray fell silent for a moment after that cryptic statement and then he finally pinned Luke with his gaze. “Whatever happened to you…you can trust me.”

With that, Gray turned and left the room and Luke looked down at the wound. The jagged tear in his flesh was proof of what happened when you trusted the wrong person. So why then did he so badly want to believe the words when Gray said them?

Chapter Three

“Gray, wake up.”

Gray tried to roll away from the hand that was shaking him gently but the hand wouldn’t let him so he had no choice but to open his eyes. His gut clenched when he saw Luke sitting on the bed next to him, the curve of his ass actually brushing against Gray’s hip through the light comforter. Luke’s presence was surprise enough but his body’s reaction was even more of one. While the most important part of his body might not be taking notice the way he would have liked, all the other tell-tale signs of desire that a beautiful man like Luke would stir in him were there – heated flesh, sweaty palms, increased breath.

“What is it? Is everything okay?” Gray asked and he quickly dropped his eyes to Luke’s side to make sure his wound wasn’t bleeding again. He never in his life wanted to have to put a needle through another person’s skin but he’d do it in a heartbeat if that was what Luke needed.

“Everything’s fine. You need to come eat.”

“What?” Gray asked in astonishment. The man had woken him up for fucking food?

Gray forcibly rolled onto his side. “Not hungry,” he muttered tiredly.

“When was the last time you ate?”

Gray tried to think back but his silence seemed to be the motivation Luke needed because suddenly he was being hauled to his feet. At least he’d had the sense to change into pajama bottoms yesterday before he’d crawled into his bed but he hadn’t bothered with a shirt.

“Any nausea?” Luke asked as he began dragging Gray unceremoniously from the room. Ripley had been sitting next to Luke and pressed her cold nose against Gray’s hand as he was pulled out of the room.

“Um, no,” Gray said in surprise as he yanked his hand free of Luke’s hold. The metallic taste was still in his mouth but it wasn’t as prominent as before. He was about to tear Luke a new one for his high-handedness but his traitorous stomach chose that moment to growl.

A small smile caused the corners of Luke’s mouth to pull up and Gray wanted to both kiss and punch the man at the same time. “Come on, I made eggs.”

Gray was glad when Luke didn’t reach for him again because one more touch and he probably would have gone with his first instinct to kiss him. He followed Luke to the kitchen and was surprised to see the table set with two places and a pile of eggs on each plate. There was also toast and coffee.

“You didn’t have much in your fridge,” Luke said as he went to the counter and grabbed the nearly empty container of milk off it.

Gray sat down and began picking at the food on his plate. As hungry as he was, his stomach still rolled at the sight of the scrambled eggs.

“Maybe just start with some toast?” Luke suggested.

“Yeah, maybe,” Gray said and he watched as Luke swapped out the plates. Gray didn’t put anything on the toast and was grateful it stayed down when he finally managed to swallow it. He and Luke ate in silence for several moments and when Luke finished the last of his food, he got up and pulled a bottle of water from the fridge. Gray wasn’t surprised when Luke put it down in front of him instead of keeping it for himself.

“I didn’t hurt anyone,” Luke suddenly blurted out and Gray stopped mid-chew to stare at him. “And I only pointed the gun at you because I was confused – I guess the heat made me pass out…that’s how I ended up in that ditch. And then you were grabbing me. I just reacted.”

Gray swallowed down the rest of the food in his mouth and then took a drag on the water. “Someone’s after you?”

Luke nodded. His lack of any additional explanation had Gray scrapping his instinct to ask who. “How did you end up here?”

“I thought a friend of mine lived out here but he doesn’t anymore.”

Gray could tell that wasn’t the entire story but instead of calling Luke on it, he asked, “Don’t you have any family? Other friends? Wife or girlfriend?”

A shake of the head. “I grew up in group homes mostly. A couple foster homes too. And being deployed almost non-stop for ten years isn’t exactly a selling point when it comes to women who are looking to settle down and start a family.” A shadow passed over Luke’s features when he said, “My only friends were the guys in my unit.”

Which meant those guys were either gone or they were the reason he was on the run.

“Gray, I have no idea who you are other than you wrote a book. I thought about Googling you last night but I didn’t. Maybe you’re not on the run like me but I’m guessing you’re running from something.”

The truth of Luke’s statement hit Gray hard. He hadn’t considered his escape from his life in L.A. in that way but in a sense, it was true.

“If the offer to stay here for a bit still stands, I’d like to take you up on it. I don’t think the people looking for me will be able to track me here but if things get too hot, I’ll go. I won’t put you in danger.”

A strange, warm sensation built in Gray’s stomach at Luke’s adamant declaration but he shook it off and focused on forcing another piece of toast into his system. “The offer stands. For as long as you need it.”

“One more thing,” Luke said as he leaned forward. “I need to carry my own weight around here. I’m pretty good with my hands so if there’s something you need done…”

Gray’s eyes shifted to Luke’s big hands and he felt his mouth go dry. He had to suck down more water to get the bread to go down.

“Um, yeah, I was actually thinking about doing some remodeling. I was going to hire somebody…”

“Great,” Luke said with a wide smile that had Gray’s insides knotting up. Fuck, this was so incredibly bad.

***

“Oh God, I think I’m going to be sick,” Luke heard Gray mutter but a quick glance showed that the man’s round eyes were still focused on the television screen. His expression was a mix of horror and awe.

“I know, it’s awesome, right?” Luke said as he watched the alien rip its way from the man’s stomach. “
Alien
in high def is definitely the way to go,” he said with a chuckle.

“How did I not see this movie?” Gray asked hoarsely when the gruesome scene ended. He dropped his hand to rest on the dog that was laying stretched out between them on the couch. Luke had been surprised when Gray had invited Ripley up onto the expensive looking piece of furniture but as he watched Gray’s hand gently drag back and forth over the animal’s fur, he actually felt a twinge of jealousy.

Jesus, three days in the man’s company and Luke was a fucking mess. He was nearly thirty years old, had been with his fair share of women and had spent the better part of his life around strong, confident, and what even he as a straight man would deem good looking men. Not once had he even felt a hint of attraction towards any of them. Hell, even his openly gay foster brother whom he’d first met at the age of sixteen had failed to elicit even the slightest stirring of anything but friendship. But the pull Gray had on him was slowly driving him insane. Every time he looked at Gray or even just heard the silky, smooth way Gray said has name, his cock swelled to life and images of him sliding into Gray’s welcoming heat had Luke retreating outside or to another room. On several occasions, he’d even resorted to jacking off just so he could be in the man’s presence long enough to talk about some of the remodeling ideas he had.

“Luke.”

It took Luke a moment to realize Gray was talking to him and it took everything in him to drag his eyes from the long, thick fingers still sifting through Ripley’s fur. What would they feel like wrapped around his cock? Would his grip be stronger than a woman’s? Rougher? Would he know exactly how much pressure to exert to drive Luke insane with pleasure?

“Luke!”

“What?” he said as he snapped his eyes up.

Gray laughed. “Would you pause it for a second?” he asked as he motioned to the movie and then to the remote in Luke’s hand. The remote he’d been stroking with his thumb as an image of Gray’s lips hovering just over his had assailed him.

“Yeah,” Luke bit out as he tried to shift his weight to give himself some much needed room in his pants. Unfortunately, Ripley’s big head was resting on his gut and while the dog’s position hid his growing erection from Gray, it did nothing to help ease the discomfort Luke was feeling.

“You want something to drink?” Gray asked as he pulled himself to his feet. Although the man finally seemed to be on the mend, he continued to move slowly as if he were in constant pain and Luke had caught him nodding off more than once during lulls in conversation or when he’d sat down on the couch to take a breather.

“No, thanks,” he said as he used his hand to ease Ripley’s head off his body. But before he could do much, the dog suddenly tensed and then growled. Luke was already reaching for the gun he’d put on the coffee table as Ripley flew off the couch and began barking at the front door.

“Get to your room,” Luke snapped at Gray. “Lock the door!”

Luke was striding for the front door when Gray suddenly stepped in front of him. “Luke, take it easy. It’s probably nothing,” Gray said softly as his hand pressed against Luke’s chest. The touch did nothing to ease Luke’s tension and he quickly moved past Gray and glanced through the space between the curtains on a side window. The sight of a police car parked in front of Gray’s truck had his brain going into overdrive. He sensed Gray behind him and he spun around.

“Your room, now!” he bit out. “If this ends bad, tell them I was holding you hostage,” he added quickly as he reached over to the door and flipped the deadbolt. It wouldn’t buy him a lot of time but enough that he might be able to make it to the line of trees behind the cabin. That was assuming no one was covering the back door.

“Damn it, Luke, look at me!” Gray snapped. Luke was so distracted, he was caught off guard when Gray’s hands closed around his upper arms and shoved him against the wall.

A knock rattled the front door. “Gray, it’s Jax!” a voice called out.

“He’s a friend,” Gray quickly said but his eyes never left Luke’s. “Trust me,” he added. “Please.”

Luke fought every instinct to force Gray to release him. He finally managed a curt nod and eased his finger from the trigger of the gun.

“Stay in your room,” Gray said. “I’ll take care of this.”

Fuck, why didn’t the guy just ask him to stop breathing too?

“Luke,” Gray repeated softly. Just hearing the pleading in Gray’s voice was enough to get Luke moving. But he didn’t go to his room – he stopped in the hallway just beyond the kitchen where he’d be out of sight but he’d be able to hear every word spoken and he’d still have a chance to get away if Gray ended up turning on him just like all the others had.

***

“Ripley, quiet,” Gray ordered as he unlocked the door. Adrenaline was still surging through his system at the near miss. Luke had shifted so quickly from someone who’d been completely relaxed to someone fully prepared to defend himself that it had taken Gray several long seconds to catch up.

“Deputy Reid,” Gray said in greeting as he opened the door.

Jaxon Reid was the kind of guy you knew not to fuck with just by looking at him but that didn’t stop Gray from adding a drawl to his words that belied the tension running through his system. “If you wanted to take me up on my dinner invitation, you could have asked Dane to call me. He and I haven’t had a chance to chat much.”

Jax’s eyes narrowed and Gray had to bite back a smile. He’d gotten off on the wrong foot with Jax from day one when he’d met and struck up a conversation with Jax’s boyfriend in Dare’s only bookstore. Jax had made it clear that Gray wasn’t welcome when the kind-hearted country vet, Dane Winters, who’d also turned out to be a fan of Gray’s books, had invited him to dinner. Gray had been attracted to Dane from the get go but he hadn’t missed the way the two men had looked at each other. Not to mention that Gray hadn’t been in the market for a boyfriend or even a quick fuck so his attraction hadn’t been something he would have acted on anyway. He’d been all set to decline the dinner invitation when Jax had bulldozed his way into the conversation and uninvited Gray. It had been a challenge that Gray just couldn’t pass on. The dinner had been rife with tension and in the following weeks there’d been a point where some pretty serious shit had gone down between Jax and Dane but the pair had managed to work it out and Gray hadn’t been surprised to learn that the big man was back in town and that he’d signed on as a deputy in the Dare Police Department. He’d also shacked up with the good looking vet and his adorable baby girl.

“Gray,” Jax muttered in greeting. “I’m afraid this is official business,” he said quietly. “May I come in?”

Gray tensed and gently closed his hand over the scruff of Ripley’s neck to pull the dog back. Luckily the dog wasn’t acting aggressively anymore and when Jax put out his hand to let the dog sniff it, Ripley wagged her tail.

“What’s up, Deputy?” Gray said lightly.

“Do you know Otis Lister?”

“That old guy that runs the junkyard outside town?” Gray asked. He’d driven by the dilapidated property dozens of times on his way to the city, but hadn’t noticed much about it other than it was full of rusted out cars and farm equipment and there were piles of scrap metal all over the place. He’d never met or even seen the old man who owned the place but had heard enough stories from people in town that the guy was a mean son of a bitch who wasn’t above pointing his shotgun at anyone who accused him of giving them a raw deal. “Never met him,” Gray said.