Finding Peace (Finding Series, Book 3) (9 page)

“I should probably head out,” Gray said as he climbed to his feet and handed Emma to Jax. Between the offers to drive him back to his place and the promises he had to make to keep them posted on his condition and call if he needed anything, it took Gray a good ten minutes to get on the road back to his place. While the visit had gone better than he’d expected, he still found himself wishing Luke had been at his side. His growing attraction to the man was becoming problematic but it was his heart that was really starting to take a beating because what it was feeling went beyond friendship or gratitude.

In the three weeks since they’d met, Gray hadn’t learned as much as he would have liked about the quiet man who’d become such a fixture in his life. But the things he did know were all things that tugged at something deep inside of him. Like how smart Luke was even though he didn’t seem to think so himself. Or how invested he got in things, whether it was the sci-fi movies he loved so much or the various projects he’d been working on around the cabin or the attention he gave Ripley. He was a stickler for details but also had no problem laughing at himself if something didn’t turn out the way he’d planned. But one of Gray’s favorite things to watch over the last few weeks was how relaxed Luke had become. He no longer carried his gun around on his person all the time and didn’t seem to be constantly scanning his surroundings like he had in the early days. There’d even been a couple of nights where Luke had actually fallen asleep on the couch while they were watching TV and Gray had been able to just sit and enjoy how at peace he looked.

But Gray wasn’t foolish enough to believe that whatever was happening would become his new normal, whatever the outcome might be in a couple weeks when his doctor would run the tests that would show if the chemo had done its job. At some point Gray would have to return to his obligations and Luke…well, he had no idea what Luke was going to do. It physically pained him to know how much trouble Luke was in. He’d only ever admitted to someone framing him for murder but it was clear Luke felt he had no one to turn to for help. Gray had approached the subject a few days earlier with another offer to help him get the best lawyer money could buy but Luke had casually brushed off the conversation with an excuse that he needed to finish up something in the shed. It had been frustrating to not give back to the man who’d given him so much.

The subject of his thoughts was just walking around the side of the cabin when Gray pulled into the driveway. Luke had offered to go with him to Dane and Jax’s but Gray had been too worried that Luke and Jax would have a run-in that would put Luke at risk, so he’d made the excuse that it was something he needed to do on his own. It was complete crap of course, but also a good decision because Gray knew he was becoming too reliant on Luke’s quiet strength.

“How did it go?” Luke asked as Gray got out of the car.

“About as well as can be expected, I guess,” Gray said as he tried to ignore the need to reach out and touch Luke. It would be so easy because Luke was only a half a foot away.

“I wish you’d let me come with you,” Luke said softly and to Gray’s surprise, he stepped closer and put his arm up on the side of the truck, essentially caging Gray in. Even though they were about the same size, Gray still felt slight as Luke’s big body brushed his briefly.

Despite the sudden dryness in his mouth, Gray managed to change the subject. “How’s the kitchen coming?” Luke didn’t answer him right away and a shudder went through Gray when Luke’s gaze dropped to his mouth. Dear God, was the man actually…

Ripley’s excited barking ripped Gray from his thoughts and he felt Luke tense up and then quickly step away from him. Luke’s hand reached behind his back and Gray knew he was instinctively looking for his gun – unfortunately, Gray had no idea if this was one of the times Luke had chosen to go without it.

A black Mercedes was pulling into the driveway behind Gray’s truck and Gray sucked in a sharp breath when he recognized the driver. Luke’s hand was still at his back so Gray quickly reached out and grabbed his arm. “It’s okay,” he said. “It’s my brother.”

Luke flashed him a quick look of surprise. “I thought you guys didn’t talk.”

“We don’t,” Gray responded as an overwhelming sense of dread took hold of him.

“You didn’t want your family to know,” Luke observed.

Gray shook his head.

“Go inside,” Luke said. “I’ll tell him to go.”

Luke was already moving forward when Gray grabbed his wrist. “No,” he murmured. “I’d like to see him.” The truthful statement surprised even himself.

Gray closed the truck’s door and watched as his brother climbed out of what Gray could only assume was a rental since it had Montana plates. His brother hadn’t changed much since Gray had last seen him almost three years ago. His dark hair was short on the sides and just a little longer on top. A pair of dark sunglasses hid his blue eyes and he had a little bit of a five o’clock shadow going on. Even though he was nearly seven years younger than Gray, he was almost an inch taller and had a muscular build that his custom-made suit complemented.

As he approached, Gray saw the moment his brother noticed Gray’s appearance and while his sunglasses hid his reaction, his step faltered and his lips parted just a little bit.

“Roman,” Gray said quietly as he extended his hand.

Roman recovered quickly and shook his hand and then peeled his sunglasses off. Whatever surprise might have been in his gaze had been carefully schooled into a blank expression. It was something Roman was an expert at.

“Gray,” Roman said in acknowledgement before shifting his gaze to Luke.

“Luke, this is my brother, Roman Blackwell. Roman, this is Luke.”

“Half-brother,” Roman corrected as he shook Luke’s hand. Gray sighed at Roman’s words – no matter how many times he referred to Roman as his brother, Roman always pointed out that they weren’t quite real brothers.

“Why don’t you guys head inside to talk?” Luke suggested as the breeze kicked up. “I’m going to finish some stuff up in the shed,” he added. Luke didn’t move until Gray nodded in agreement.

Gray remained silent as he led Roman into the cabin since he didn’t have a clue as to what to say to the man who’d only ever resented him. Not that Roman didn’t have reason to, Gray supposed, now that he had the luxury of hindsight.

“Coffee?” Gray asked once they reached the kitchen. It looked surprisingly clean even if the cabinets were all still missing but it looked like Luke was making good progress.

“Yes, please,” Roman said stiffly.

It took just a few minutes to get the coffee going and while he waited for it to brew, he got a mug out and put it on the table in front of the chair Roman had sat down in. “Black, right?” Gray asked.

Roman seemed surprised by the comment but just nodded.

Gray got himself some of the lemon-lime flavored water that proved to be the easiest on his palate and then carried the coffee pot to the table and set it down in front of Roman.

“You’re not having any?” Roman asked as he poured himself a cup while Gray settled into the chair across from him.

Gray shook his head.

“Never thought I’d see the day when you turned down a cup of coffee,” Roman murmured as he put the pot back down.

“Yeah, well, it doesn’t exactly agree with me anymore,” Gray said as he pulled his cap off. Roman’s hard gaze flashed with something as his eyes shifted to Gray’s bald head. There was a brief moment where some undeterminable emotion lingered in Roman’s expression but it didn’t last long.

“You’re sick,” was all Roman said.

Gray was too drained to go through all of this for a second time in less than an hour so he just said, “What are you doing here, Roman?”

“Victoria was worried about you.”

Gray had been in the process of taking a drink of water and nearly choked when he heard his mother’s name. It wasn’t unusual to hear Roman refer to their mother by her first name since it was what she had told Roman to call her when he’d made the mistake of asking if he could call her “Mom” after their father had brought him home the day after Roman’s mother’s funeral. Gray hadn’t known much about Roman when his father announced that he had a little brother. He’d managed to garner bits and pieces of information over the years but even that was limited. What he did know was that his half-brother had been the product of one of Gray’s father’s dalliances with one of many mistresses and that the boy’s mother had killed herself when Roman was only ten. For some unknown reason, Gray’s father had decided to take the boy in since he had no other family and Gray’s mother either hadn’t been given any say in the matter, or his father had found some means to gain his mother’s acquiescence. Neither scenario had meant that Roman was a welcome addition to the family and at seventeen, Gray had had no interest in connecting with the little boy who’d initially followed him everywhere. By the time he’d matured enough to see how cruelly he’d treated Roman, his brother had checked out of any potential relationship they might have had.

“Mom asked you to come and check on me?” Gray managed to get out. Since he hadn’t gotten even one phone call from his mother in the weeks since he’d left L.A., he found the idea unbelievable, but then again, what other reason would his brother have for searching him out?

Roman just shrugged and took a sip of his coffee. It struck Gray then how he and his parents had failed Roman. Not once but over and over again. The young boy who’d been thrust into their lives hadn’t had any choice in the matter and instead of being welcomed by adults who should’ve helped him grieve the loss of his mother, he’d been ridiculed and openly disparaged.

“How did you find me?” Gray asked.

“Marina let it slip.”

Marina, his realtor who’d boasted about her ability to maintain confidentiality for her many celebrity clients. Since Roman was a property developer, it didn’t surprise Gray to learn he and Marina knew each other.

“I wasn’t aware she knew you and I were…”

He’d been about to say brothers but knew Roman would correct him which would only piss him off further so he settled for saying “related” instead.

Another annoying shrug but it was the way Roman dropped his eyes to his restless hands for a moment that had Gray saying, “She didn’t know, did she? Jesus, Roman, did you fuck her just to find out where I was?”

Roman’s chilly gaze lifted once more. “Marina was all too eager to dish about you after that shit with Cavelli went down. Fucking her was a perk.”

Fanfuckingtastic.

“How long have you been sick?” Roman suddenly interjected.

“Couple months.”

Roman didn’t react in any way. He just asked, “Victoria and Walt don’t know?”

Hearing his father referred to as Walt was just as strange as hearing Roman call his mother Victoria.  And even though Roman and their father actually shared blood, Gray’s mother had decreed that Roman wouldn’t be calling his own father “Dad” anytime he was in her presence so he’d just resorted to calling him by his first name too.

“No,” Gray said and he didn’t bother to ask Roman not to tell them. Roman could and would do whatever the hell he wanted – he owed Gray nothing.

“Who’s the guy?” Roman asked.

That
was the ultimate question. Who was Luke?

“That answers that,” Roman said softly and Gray looked up to see a slight smile folding up the edges of Roman’s mouth. It was so strange to see his brother smile that it actually took Gray a second to realize what Roman was inferring.

“We’re just friends,” Gray said in irritation. He felt like a parrot because he’d been having this same conversation with Dane and Jax less than an hour earlier. Not to mention the many times he had to repeat the phrase over and over in his mind to try to remind himself that Luke was just a friend – a very straight friend.

Roman had the decency not to argue with him. They both fell into an awkward silence before Roman whispered, “Is it curable?”

Holy shit? Was his brother actually worried about him? The thought was so unexpected that it took Gray a second to answer and he saw his brother visibly stiffen and then open his mouth. Before Roman could blow off the question, Gray said, “My doctor is hopeful. I have one more round of chemo and then he’ll do a CT to see if the tumors are gone or if it’s spread any further.”

Roman seemed to swallow hard and the move actually had a surge of hope going through Gray. What if it wasn’t too late to salvage a relationship with his brother? What if he could make up for the poor excuse of a big brother he’d been?

“So you off to some exotic location to build cabanas and golf courses?” Gray asked.

Another small smile.

“Bermuda,” Roman said.

Gray hadn’t ever been to one of the many resorts his brother had built all around the world but he’d heard of them.

“Maybe I’ll finally be able to afford a stay at one soon,” Gray joked, although he wasn’t far off since Roman’s clientele were some of the wealthiest men and women in the world.

“Maybe,” Roman said with a slight nod and when his eyes lifted to meet Gray’s, it was all Gray could do not to get up and pull his brother into his arms for a hug.

“You think you might want to come back this way on your way home?” Gray asked as Roman rose to his feet.

Roman seemed surprised by the indirect invitation and Gray steeled himself for rejection. But instead, Roman said, “Might be a few weeks.”