First Light (21 page)

I was as enchanted with her as I’d been with Alexandra. She radiated warmth and positivity.

‘Diana Saunders, meet Ronnie Rose,’ Alexandra announced.

‘You’ll have to excuse Alexandra’s brash, no-nonsense approach to life. She means well, honestly, she’s just a bit more pragmatic than the rest of us.’

‘Oh please, chick! You’re just as bad as me.’

Diana flopped down onto the sofa, her long dark limbs falling gracefully over the edges of the chair. She filled three glasses and we clinked them together.

‘To new friends,’ she toasted.

‘Yes! To new friends,’ Alexandra agreed happily, placing a bowl of pretzels on the table in front of us. ‘Nothing like wine after a hard day at work.’

Diana threw a pretzel in the air and caught it effortlessly in her mouth. ‘Hard shmard.
You
worked for three hours today!’

‘Yeah, I know, I was just trying to make you feel better, it is Saturday after all. Diana’s a hairdresser,’ she directed at me. ‘Saturdays are a rare commodity for her. As in, she doesn’t get them.’

‘It’s true, but I hear Tuesday is the new Saturday anyway,’ muttered Diana as we each took a sip of our drinks.

I savoured the tart taste of it on my tongue, I wasn’t used to drinking wine, but I figured I could learn.

‘Thanks, guys,’ I said happily when we clinked our second glass. I knew I was getting lightheaded, but it wasn’t the same as in the club. For a start, I didn’t feel the need to dig my hand into my chest and rip out my aching heart. I just took part – or listened mostly – in conversations about men, work and life in Clanots Ocean with girls who seemed to manage just fine all alone. As it turned out, both Alexandra and Diana hated Clanots as much as I did and they were saving their money to move to London. They were both older than me and had finished college, but it didn’t seem to matter. Diana was fun and alternative, she read the zodiac and believed in soul mates, and it was to this notion that Alexandra rolled her eyes. The opposite of Diana in every way, she didn’t believe in anything except her motto of
make your own luck
.

We sat in animated conversation until late in the evening, and while in the back of my mind I couldn’t erase thoughts of a certain teenage assassin, I found to my relief that I still had some optimism left in me. I believed things were going to get better. They had to.

22 – Goodbye, Red

If someone had asked me just a few weeks ago if I would be celebrating my eighteenth birthday I would have given a resounding, no way.
Who would I celebrate with? I was expecting Mae to come over and we’d rent movies and eat popcorn. As it turned out, six days before my birthday, a knock on my door at seven in the evening changed everything. Diana and Alexandra stood on the doorstep, dressed to kill and holding up a bottle of champagne.

‘What are you doing here, are you going out later?’ They looked beautiful of course, Alexandra dressed in black figure-hugging trousers and a halter-top, her trademark red lipstick shining under the light in my hallway, and Diana, wearing a simple gold dress that clung snugly to her waif-like frame and showcased a pair of amazingly long legs.

‘You both look amazing!’

‘Thanks, doll. We’d better make sure you look just as good, because we’re going out in Cowford tonight. All of us!’ Diana chimed. ‘Happy Birthday!’

Panic set in. I didn’t want to go out and celebrate – my last club experience had not been a good one. I started stuttering clumsily, that I had nothing to wear, no money and I wasn’t feeling like going out.

‘Um, I’m not hearing you properly, babe. Did you say you were going to get dressed?’ That was Alexandra, already rooting through my kitchen cabinets for glasses. I smiled and gave in.

‘Come on,’ she squealed, ‘let’s drink to the Birthday Girl and we’ll help you get ready. The others should be here soon!’

‘Others?’ Instantly, I was nervous again.

‘Yeah, your friend Mae and the other two girls you say you like, but we know you actually don’t. Mae wouldn’t come without them and we thought that with us here, maybe you’ll feel better about it.’

Knowing Mae, Cheryl and Toni were coming out with us, I wasn’t sure how to react. On the one hand it was great of my two newest friends to go to so much trouble, on the other, I wasn’t sure how they would get along with Cheryl and Toni. As far as I was concerned it wasn’t possible to combine sweet and genuine girls with spiteful superficial ones and get a pleasant cocktail. Mae, however, was a different story. I wanted her to meet the new friends I had in my life and I wanted us all to hang out. Before I had even decided, I was clinking glasses and saying thank you. Then the doorbell rang again.

The three girls that stood in front of me did not appear so enthusiastic. Mae smiled sheepishly, but the other two looked bored, as though they had come under duress.

‘Hi, girls, thank you so much for coming.’ I smiled warmly at Mae, realising how glad I was that she was there for my birthday surprise, but I barely acknowledged the others. I wasn’t going to let them bring me down.

I introduced my new friends to my old ones and we all talked for a few minutes over our drinks. Alexandra and Diana made a constant fuss over me, which I could tell they were doing for the benefit of my more critical guests.

Getting dressed was less enjoyable. The five girls dressed me up like I was a doll, trying on different outfits with varying hair and make up combinations. I insisted not much could be done with my hair, but Diana managed to make it so that it was a huge mass of perfect shiny curls.

‘See what a bit of effort does?’ Mae noted. ‘You’re beautiful.’

‘I didn’t know my hair could look like this,’ I said, pulling at one shiny ringlet and watching it bounce back into place. I swished my head from side to side.

‘That’s because your version of making an effort is washing it.’

I laughed. I couldn’t be insulted by something that was true. I’d always just assumed my slightly wavy red hair was as good as it got, even having an older sister who was more obsessed with styling products than all my friends combined hadn’t given me a clue.

When they were done primping, I looked in the mirror and almost didn’t recognise the girl staring back at me. Despite Alexandra’s protests, I’d insisted on jeans instead of the dress she wanted to lend me, but I’d paired them with unreasonably high heels and a silk black top that exposed most of my back. As I stared at the sparkling woman in the mirror I wished Kalen could see me. My heart ached at the thought of him, but I kept smiling. I promised myself my eighteenth birthday would be the day I grew up and lived in the real world. I wasn’t the girlfriend of a secret agent who jumped out of planes on the weekends – I was just me: Ronnie Rose from Clanots Ocean. Sometimes I wondered if the whole thing hadn’t been just another one of my fantasies.

We all tumbled into a cab and headed for the biggest nightclub in Cowford. On my second visit to the bar I ordered a bottle of champagne. I was about to hand over the money, when a voice sounded from next to me.

‘I’ve got that.’

I glanced up to my right, taking in the guy who’d spoken at the same time as the barman took his card. He had a friendly face, with messy golden hair worthy of a gel commercial. His green eyes were staring at me playfully. ‘I’m Adam.’

‘Ro-Veronica,’ I answered.

‘So, d’you come here often, Veronica?’ he asked while the bottle was being opened.

I felt myself relax and laughed. ‘Really?’

‘Sorry, that was lame. But I actually mean it, I’ve never seen you here before.’

‘I take it that means
you
do come here often, then?’

He chuckled in reply just as an ice bucket holding the champagne was handed to me.

‘I’d better get back to my friends. Thanks for this.’

‘Any time, gorgeous.’

Flicking my hair as I’d seen Rachel do hundreds of times, I headed back to the dance-floor. Alexandra cheered as I presented the bottle. All my friends seemed to be having a great time, even Mae, who’d been edgy around me recently, was her normal cheery self.

We danced until our feet hurt, spilling towards the exit with the crowd as the club started closing. A tap on my shoulder stopped me in my tracks. The girls carried on ahead of me.

‘You’re leaving?’ Adam was staring down at me, wearing a look of exaggerated disappointment.

‘Yeah sorry, it’s past my bedtime.’

‘
But you forgot to give me your phone number.’

I played along, lifting my eyebrows. ‘Did I say I would?’

‘You definitely did, I remember it vividly.’ His smile was infectious and I couldn’t help but smile back, but as he handed me his Blackberry to tap my number in, I found myself thinking of someone I wished I didn’t think of any more. It was hard not to: here was someone handing me a mobile phone and offering me direct contact whenever I wanted it – a stark difference from one who didn’t own a phone and disappeared without word. I caught a look from Diana and her confused glare woke me from my trance. Quickly, I typed in my number, storing it under Veronica and left with a flirty wave in his direction. I didn’t have any butterflies or nervous tingling sensations, but it felt nice. Nice was good.

Outside the club, we were hailing a taxi, when loud yelling and cursing attracted all our attention. A man in a white tuxedo jacket and black shirt was kneeling on the pavement. He wailed and held his nose, the white of his blazer splashed with drops of blood. The bouncers appeared disinterested, so without thinking, I ran over and knelt next to him, asking if he was okay. I was instantly pulled upwards by a grip around my arm. Expecting to see one of my friends, I recoiled. Denver was staring down at me.

‘Miss, don’t get too close to him, he’s – wow,’ he stopped short, a wide grin spreading across his face. ‘Ronnie?’

The ground seemed to tilt beneath me. I stumbled. But he steadied me.
Of course he did – just when I was getting myself together, here was one of the boys, back to haunt me!
What was more irritating was the sinking realisation that I was more excited than I’d been since they left. I scanned the crowd desperately hoping for a glimpse of Kal.

‘It’s Denver, right? Fancy seeing you here.’ Mae’s voice was defensive.

‘Yeah, I was just out, having some fun.’ His American accent was like music to my ears, I wanted so much to ask after Kalen, but somehow I resisted.

‘Having some fun include beating people up?’ She quipped, nodding towards the man on the floor.

He shrugged. ‘He did that to himself.’

‘
I bet he did.’ Mae
gave me a loaded look
and walked back towards our other friends.

Denver’s eyes swept over me. ‘Ron, you look great.’

‘Hey Veronica, is this guy bothering you?’

I turned to see Adam behind me, staring at Denver.

‘No, not at all, he’s a... friend.’ I smiled tightly, trying not to look at the girls, who I could sense were all enjoying the encounter way too much.

‘Okay, good.’ He let his gaze shift from Denver to me. ‘I can make sure you get home safe if you want?’

‘I think she can get a taxi with her girlfriends actually,’ Denver interjected, taking a step towards him. Now inches apart with only my tiny self between them, I hastily told Adam I needed a minute. Reluctantly he stood a little farther back.

I glared at Denver. ‘What are you doing?’ I whispered furiously.

‘K wouldn’t like it if I let you go with him.’

My mouth fell open, but I quickly composed myself. ‘I have no idea why Kalen would even care, but I know for sure it’s none of his, or your business who I do, or don’t go home with.’ I wasn't ever planning on going home with Adam, but I wasn't about to tell Denver that.

‘Ronnie, I’m sorry, but we don’t keep secrets from each other. I’ll have to tell him. That is just how it is with us.’ His voice was tight, laced with a mixture of conviction and regret. ‘So, you can be as angry with me as you want, but I can’t let you get in a cab with that guy tonight.’