For the Best (17 page)

“Yeah,” I answered aggravating him further
by delaying my reply.

He blew out a mouthful of air pissed.
“Why?”

“Because we shouldn’t live together right
now. I can take classes there if I choose. I saw your eyes light up
when your Design Management professor brought up the semester
abroad in England. I think you should go.”

Tanner

When Hanna talked about leaving I felt
paralyzed with fear. I’d lost her once it couldn’t happen again.
The prof had grabbed my attention that day but I hadn’t realized
she’d noticed. Between the turf maintenance at golf courses, and
landscape architecture pushing ecofriendly roofing, I was becoming
seriously nerdy in my interests.

“Are you pushing me away?” I asked.

“No. Don’t you realize I’m doing this for
us?” She wrapped her arms around my neck. “We can pursue our own
ambitions but maintain a commitment to each other. Once you
graduate we can make it legal… you and me forever.”

“Forever, huh?” I softened kissing her
lips.

“Yep, forever.” She smiled.

“I really like the sound of that.”

Hanna

“Have you seen your dad?”

Startled by my step-sister’s unexpected
approach I sloshed some gas from the pump hose I was disengaging
from my car tank onto my right flip flop. “Hi Lainey. How you
been?”

She sighed. “Fine.” No asking about my
well-being in return.

Understanding whatever slight bond we might
have had had disappeared in my absence I answered her question, “I
haven’t spoken with my dad in over a year.”

“Oh,” she muttered. “He’s cheating on my
mom.”

Aggravated by the fuel burning my skin and
the smell that would cling until I could wash my foot I bluntly
replied, “He is nothing if not predictable.”

“It’s your fault. Your lawsuits last year
put a strain on their marriage.”

“How so?” I asked.

“It caused them financial difficulties. Debt
damages relationships,” she retorted.

I couldn’t help laugh. “You know what
damages relationships?”

She raised her eyebrow without an
answer.

“A man who doesn’t keep his promises and a
mistress who is only too happy to oblige.”

Tanner

I watched her empty the drawers she kept in
my bedroom. That was a bad sign. She was within a two hour drive. I
was hoping we’d see each other every weekend but Hanna told me with
work and school that would be too much.

“Why don’t you keep some stuff here?” I
asked.

“It’s easier to just pack a bag when I’m
coming,” she answered stuffing her duffel.

“It would be easier if you would just
register for classes and stay right here,” I replied stiffly.

She looked me square in the eye. “Tanner,
are you ashamed of my lack of educational ambition? Because if you
are I can tell you I am more motivated that a lot of students I
pass on the streets.”

I avoided her eyes. Recently, I had found a
list she had created of ventures she wanted to start. I hadn’t been
impressed.

“I just want you to be secure.”

“Secure? Tell that to all the people
unemployed during this recession. I bet the bulk have college
degrees. What would you have me be?”

I could think of at least twenty occupations
she would be good at that would be self-supporting. I stopped
myself. I had a feeling sometimes when I made suggestions I made
Hanna feel small.

Hanna

Now promoted, I was living out of a half
furnished guest room across the hall from Della’s bedroom for
$300/month rent including utilities. The house was spacious. Though
we’d been introduced, running across Jace hadn’t been a
problem.

Della and I had been indulging in girl talk,
chomping on Twizzlers, hanging our heads from the side of her bed
carrying on a conversation.

“I am looking for a handsome, wealthy,
decent guy. They are hard to come by,” Della stated.

I studied how pretty her face looked in
profile upside down. “Good luck with that.”

“What are you looking for?”

“I’m not.” I scratched her brother’s dog,
Pinkie, behind the ears. The pet didn’t fit her name. She was this
overweight black lab pit bull mix.

“Because of Tanner? Is he the one?”

“Honestly, I don’t know. I just think too
much. I never want to have my child look in my eyes and realize the
disappointment reflected was caused by their father. I also don’t
want to forfeit a child over to a step parent some day when a
marriage sours. I want kids but I may just need a sperm donor.”

She laughed. “Hanna, why so disenchanted?
You are young, and stunning. You could have your pick of men.”

I stared at the popcorn texture of the
ceiling of her bedroom as the dog rested her jowly face on my
stomach. “Maybe that is what is wrong. Tanner never tried to
enchant me, he just took.”

“Then stop giving.”

“If only it was that easy,” I mumbled.

She flipped. “You ever wonder what your
parents were like when they met. Was there romance or did our moms
dish like this over our dads with their girlfriends?”

“I hope Mom had romance. I hope there was
love.”

“With your dad?” she asked.

“Yeah but I doubt he was ever romantic. If
he was he forgot. He let it fade.” I sighed. “So why do you dislike
your brother’s girlfriend?”

She grimaced. “Michelle is one of those
girls who alienate family members. She’s manipulative, jealous, and
hates me.”

“Why?”

“Who knows?” She shrugged.

“How long have they been dating?”

“Almost a year.”

“Do you think he loves her?”

She cocked an eyebrow at me. “I don’t see
how.”

My phone rang. Ansel displayed.

She peeked around my arm to see the screen.
“Why won’t you answer his calls? Shouldn’t you forgive him?”

“I forgave him a long time ago. I just think
we shouldn’t be friends.”

“Why? Because of Tanner.”

“No.” I stared at the screen like always
after he called, wondering why he wouldn’t leave a message or send
a text.

“You should talk to him. He seems to really
want to talk to you,” she advised and rolled over to where her open
textbook waited for her to resume studying.

“When I think of you becoming an accountant
I can’t picture it,” I admitted.

“Start! With my college’s accelerated degree
program, it won’t be long before I sit for the CPA exam.”

I checked my watch. “Guess I better get
ready for work though I don’t want to go.”

“But your job sounds fun.”

“It isn’t but I’m lucky to have it. They
gave me $500 to move.”

“Did they know you only had a duffel bag and
a car?” She laughed.

“I may have left that little tidbit out.” I
smiled.

Sunday morning after a night of drinking
sugary alcohol cocktails with Della, I awoke blinking my dry eyes
to focus on my heavy watch. I could hear voices down in the
kitchen. Sounded like a heated conversation between Della and
another female. I assumed Michelle. I cracked my bedroom door to
get a better volume.

“If she stays, Jace goes.” Michelle issued
an ultimatum.

“Jace, do you want to go?” I could almost
hear a smile in Della’s voice.

“This is stupid, Michelle.” He was evading
both of them. “Don’t be jealous. Della says Hanna has had the same
boyfriend since elementary school. Plus, we don’t cross paths, I
work days and she works nights and weekends.”

“But Jae…” Michelle oozed saccharin.

Della spoke, “Look I put up with a lot. You
stay over all the time and don’t pay rent. Hanna is helping me out
because her rent is going to my tuition. She’s my friend and as
owner of half of this home I pick who rents. If you have a problem
with it then Jace can either move out or we can sell the house like
I’ve been pitching for two years.”

“We’re not going anywhere.” Jace sounded
irritated as he moved around the kitchen.

Pinkie’s nose wedged in the crack in the
door as she tried to widen it to fit her body. My bedroom door
creaked and the conversation died below. Deciding to shower, I
gathered my toiletries and made for the upstairs bathroom I shared
with Della.

The steam lifted. With freshly washed and
dried hair, I padded to my room in a robe that would befit a nun.
Closing the door, I spoke to Pinkie who had her leash dangling from
her mouth. “No time for a beach walk. The goal today is to go see
Tanner.” I finished dressing while the dog went to sleep, snoring
with one eye opened and twitching as she ran in a doggy dream.

With my overnight bag in hand, I walked
downstairs and came upon a stranger. A thin, strawberry blonde with
some glaringly false breasts sat on the couch painting her
toenails.

“Hi, I’m Hanna.” I smiled and offered my
hand.

“Michelle.” She kept her body pivoted
forward ignoring my offer.

“Can you tell Della I went to spend the day
with Tanner?”

“Tanner?”

“My boyfriend. The love of my life.”

Hanna

In Tanner’s childhood home after so long of
an absence I felt weird. I leaned back on his bed keeping my legs
bent. The ceiling was a swirling pattern of plaster shells. Many of
my worst sexual encounters with Tanner had been spent using those
shells as a focus point.

We’d just ended a tiresome Sunday and Tanner
was slowly...reluctantly readying for his return to campus. “I feel
like shit.”

“I know.” I stared at the ceiling.

“When Trev started crying I thought I would
lose it.”

A tear slipped down my cheek. “He doesn’t
understand.”

We’d checked Trevor out for the day. Gone to
the beach and brought him home for lunch with his parents. As
Tanner got ready for his departure his parents offered to take
Trevor back to his group home to save us the trip. Trevor became
upset, begging to come home and live with them. His father seemed
close to relenting but his mother coldly told him no.

Tooth and Nail was a small dark, hole in the
wall bar nestled between a bikini shop and diner on a beach
promenade. The biggest draw it held was an open courtyard that
faced the ocean.

Busily hawking product on the patio I’d been
unable to scope the clientele, a nervous habit I couldn’t break
since returning. A nearby table was debating having another picture
of beer or calling it a night.

“Let’s switch to the concoction she’s
mixing.” The request came from a male at a nearby table.

I had a cardboard stand with a semi-cool
logo blocking my view but I heard a familiar voice reply, “Leave
it, man. I know her.”

I leaned beyond the merchandise and snuck a
quick look. Relieved, I nodded back at Clay, Bowzer’s owner. He
rose and came over.

“You’re not old enough to be here,” he
teased.

“Over twenty-one doesn’t start until after
10,” I answered as he leaned in for a quick hug. “How is
Bowzer?”

“He ate the trim off my cabinets last
week.”

I laughed. “He was probably bored.”

He looked quizzically back at his friends as
they got rowdier. “What have you been up to?”

“I was living in Utah, then California, then
Montana but I’m back in the Sunshine state for awhile.”

He picked up a sample. “Do you like this
gig?”

“Are you kidding? Marketing nutritionally
void beverages in clothes that would have fit me when I was twelve
is like my dream job.”

He laughed. “Is this all you do?”

“No, I also pull point of sale materials for
route drivers before their shifts, conduct meetings where
management forces all employees to taste test gross new products,
and I take inventory in a 20° freezer.”

He studied his sample, and took a whiff.
“What is this?”

“Taro Root Pomegranate Guava flavored
vitamin water.” I knew it was disgusting. I had tasted it last week
and suffered through all the sales reps and route drivers grumbling
about the product’s terrible aftertaste. One of the fearless
leaders in management had offered that the first to call in a sale
to customer service from one of their customers could take a
personal day of their choosing. A tool named Randy always won sales
contests because his dad owned a grocery on his route. He called in
his case being sold before he even pulled out of the parking
lot.

“You ever house sit?”

“Used to, why?”

“The girlfriend and I are taking a dive trip
down to Cozumel. I’d rather pay someone to dog sit than board
Bowzer.”

The last day of the workweek, found me in my
usual Friday chore thinking about winter. Wishing Florida had more
of a season beyond a mere blip of temperatures. Remembering the
golds, oranges and reds of dying leaves that were so much more fall
like than the pine needles and palm fronds that only went from
green to brown.

I cleaned up the used cups and tossed the
remainder of the week’s bad holiday concoction of pumpkin cranberry
infused ginseng vitamin water in the trash. The speaker blared from
the phone in the conference room. I was requested to the office of
the VP of promotions.

An hour later, I had my schedule dictated to
me for the month. Lots of grocers, some restaurants but more bars,
and the zoo of all places were on my itinerary.

“Michelle is down there.” Della stopped me
from where she sat hidden on the top step. She rolled her eyes.
“They’ve been fighting.”

I could hear Michelle bitching Jace out.
“What’s her problem?” I asked startled when I heard the definite
sound of glass shattering.

“Jace told her he didn’t like her always
displaying so much cleavage.” We eavesdropped further. “Please,
please break up. I can’t take hearing them boinking again,” Della
muttered as I sat down beside her.