For the Best (18 page)

I laughed. “Boinking?”

“You said we needed to clean up our
language. That’s better than fucking.”

“You’re right.” I smiled.

The argument grew quiet. “Crap, they’re
gonna patch things up.”

I studied her disappointed expression.

“I’m not giving up. I saw him checking out
your ass yesterday when you were bent down in the fridge.”

“You’re making that up.”

She smiled mischievously. “No, I’m not.”

“Della?” Jace’s voice called from
downstairs.

“What?” she blared back at him.

“Come down here.”

We both trudged down the stairs as if we
were children about to be scolded. Jace had his arm around
Michelle’s shoulders.

“We’re going to have a party!” Michele
blurted the news so enthusiastically I almost thought she was going
to say we’re engaged.

Jace pulled out a chair at the kitchen
table.

“So?” Della asked with little interest.

“It was going to be a surprise.” Michelle
leaned towards us and mock whispered, “Jace is throwing me an
anniversary party.”

“An anniversary party?” Della feigned
anticipation sarcastically.

Michelle took a spot on Jace’s lap showing
us more thigh exposed from her mini-skirt than two hetero girls
cared to see. “Yep, to celebrate our one year anniversary. Renewing
our commitment to each other.”

“So this celebration. What are you doing?”
Della asked not hiding the laughter in her voice as she mocked
Michelle for being deterred from a fight by Jace’s ludicrous
idea.

“Oooh, Pinkie, bad dog. Get down!” Michelle
commanded and shoved at the hulking dog that came from out of
nowhere to place her paws on her lap.

“Here girl.” I clapped my hands and she
diverted her attention to me like a long lost friend.

Michelle squinted her eyes at me and clapped
her hands as well. “Pinkie come back to momma.”

With a lolling tongue, Pinkie drooled on my
feet. “Stupid dog,” Michelle muttered.

I picked up her leash hanging from a peg by
the kitchen door. “I’ll just take her for a walk so you guys can
hash out plans for your big day.”

“Wait for me.” Della grabbed her purse and
counted some cash. “Let’s get a Panini for lunch.”

Jace scowled at Della, “I thought you were
doing Weight Watchers.”

“I am. I have an app on my phone that
calculates points of almost anything I want to eat,” she
answered.

Michelle just rolled her eyes.

After lunch followed by a long walk, we
returned home to find Michelle absent but a very irritated Jace
waiting. Knowing a never ending sibling argument was about to
resume, I made for the bathroom.

As usual, the argument turned towards
Michelle. I didn’t mean to listen, but the shouting became loud. I
turned on the radio to drown them out.

With a towel wrapped around my head, and a
robe on my body I returned to my room. Both brother and sister were
on my bed with the only keepsake I’d kept from my time with Ansel
between them.

“This guy is good,” Jace commented as he
leafed through the printed and bound portfolio of both human and
nature subjects.

“The one of you is really beautiful.” Della
pointed to me lying prone on a gold metallic surfboard in a
matching bikini. My bronze skin sparkled. My eyes stared into the
distance with the false color of citrine.

Jace was examining the photo enough to make
me blush. “Did he airbrush it or Photoshop?”

“I’m not sure how he did it.” I sat down
sandwiching Jace between me and Della.

She turned the page and I could feel a blush
coming on. We had hiked to a cove trying to catch seals basking on
a lonely stretch of beach. When we arrived it was empty so we swam.
I had gotten cold so I was wearing the button up shirt he’d been
hiking in over my bikini. He was shirtless in swim trunks with his
head resting on my stomach in the photo. A day between us where
there was a hint of romance caught on film.

“What does his quote mean?” Jace asked
pointing to the inscription.

Was it the haze of love, the pleasures of
ecstasy, or the naiveté of youth that made you fall?

“I don’t know. He says crap like that all
the time,” I replied roughly. The truth was he was digging at me.
All those conversations I’d shared about Tanner.

“Is this him?” Della gasped as she paused on
his bio page. “Wow!”

I looked at the handsome guy in the jacket
photograph. Part of me wanted to end this stalemate I had started
with him but the other knew if he found out I’d gotten back
together with Tanner he’d tell me I needed to see his old
shrink.

“Why would you give him up?” Della asked
still mesmerized with the page.

Hanna

Tanner and I went to visit Trevor, took him
to dinner and a movie. Trevor was hyped one minute, down the
other.

“Was this a happy day?” Trevor asked me.

“I’m happy. What about you?” I teased.

“I’m happy. What about you Tanner?” he
repeated and redirected.

“Sure,” Tanner answered sarcastically.

Something in Tanner’s body language, his
tone told me he was unhappy.

Later, lying in his arms I imagined we were
quiet because of Trevor. I could hear the creak of his body weight
on the mattress. I voiced my disappointment, “You should be more
upbeat with Trev. He doesn’t get sarcasm.”

“It is hard leaving him there.”

“You had no choice.”

“There is always a choice.” I felt his tears
against my chest.

Another promotion, this one to an office job
where I worked remotely from home logging onto the company’s server
doing spreadsheets most of the day. Della and I were out
celebrating my step up the corporate ladder. Not being carded, we’d
been served alcohol. Della took advantage of the lack of ID
verification. I watched her drunk sing a karaoke duet.

Five songs later against Della’s slurring
protests I brushed off her singing partner’s attempt to take her
home. After he finally left we ended up hailing a taxi. I barely
got her up to the front door and inside before she collapsed on the
floor.

“Come on Della. Help me out. You are dead
weight!”

From behind her I hooked my arms under her
shoulders and half dragged, half walked her to the stairs.

“That guy was hot. Why’d you tell him to go
away?” she slurred.

“Because any guy who offers to take a drunk
girl he doesn’t know home is not decent. You said you wanted a
decent guy.”

Pinkie was licking Della’s face. “I take
what I can get,” she whispered.

I sat down on the steps beside her. “Oh,
Della, don’t. Value yourself more.”

Jace cleared his throat and startled I met
his eyes where he stood. “You need me to help you get her to
bed?”

“Yeah, thanks,” I hesitantly accepted
wondering how much he’d heard.

We got her upstairs, to her bed. I took off
her shoes and moved her legs onto the mattress.

Jace stared at his sibling, collapsed on her
bed. “If she’d lose weight she might actually get a date not just a
one night stand.”

Angered I defended her, “Della is smart,
beautiful and funny. If a guy can’t get past her weight that is his
problem.”

Jace walked to the door and turned. “Maybe
but no guy wants a drunken fat slut for a girlfriend. I don’t even
like having one for a sister.”

I had to hold my tongue as well as my
fists.

Hanna

Meandering through a throng of people I
didn’t know, I located Tanner. I’d left him stranded by the coolers
packed with sodas and beer. He looked uncomfortable scanning the
crowd as Michelle thrust her breasts in his body space as she was
prone to do.

“Happy Anniversary Michelle.” I smiled at
her as I took my place beside Tanner.

“Thank you,” she replied. “Tanner and I were
just discussing his good friend Benny. He and I go way back, but I
didn’t know until tonight you were all acquainted.”

My stomach knotted in an old familiar way as
I followed her pointed finger to see a heavy guy manning the keg.
Michelle smiled sinisterly. Humiliation surfaced as I worried what
Michelle could do if she became privy to my secrets. Attempting to
bolt, I grabbed Tanner.

“Let’s get something to eat.” I pulled him
toward the kitchen.

Della stood alone at the counter. A filled
shot was before her as if she had a premonition of my needs.

“Thank God.” I slammed the liquor while
Tanner rubbed the back of his head.

Benny appeared. Tanner exchanged an awkward
man hug with my nemesis as I contemplated how I could
disappear.

Della drunkenly introduced herself and I
wondered if she didn’t remember the bully she’d left behind back in
elementary.

“So who’s up for a little meat?” Benny
positioned his hands in a V at his crotch and laughed.

I swallowed as the shot I’d just consumed
threatened to rise from my esophagus.

Della cracked up as if crass was funny.

“Della can you come with me to the
bathroom?” I didn’t give her time to respond as I yanked her
arm.

I navigated us upstairs leaving Tanner
behind.

“What are you doing?” Della asked as I kept
walking.

“Saving you.” She followed until I shut us
in my bedroom. She flipped on the lights startling poor Pinkie out
of her nap on her dog bed.

“Don’t you remember him?” I asked.

“Of course. He was a year older than us in
elementary school.”

“And we hated him.”

“People change,” she excused.

“He was one of the judges.”

“Judges?”

“You know. One of the guys who judged that
sex tape made of Tanner and me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course, I’m sure. You think I’d forget
something like that.”

Hanna

I’d been at Clay’s for a week while he
vacationed. Not in a hurry to leave, I watched as he went through
all the mail that had accrued in his absence.

“If you need me to dogsit again let me
know.”

He glanced up. “Where are you living
now?”

“With a friend and her brother.” I bit at my
thumb nail. “Sometimes his girlfriend,” I mumbled.

“You don’t sound very happy about it.”

“It’s okay.”

“What about your job? You like it.”

“Not especially.”

He paused as if considering then said, “My
parents own a bunch of businesses down in St. Augustine. They’re
looking for someone to run a Laundromat. It comes with a free
apartment.”

“Seriously?”

St. Augustine was America’s oldest city
settled on what locals termed the first coast because it was the
first European settlement long before the Mayflower arrived. The
historic district was a mixture of both old British and Spanish
architecture inside a coquina walled bay.

Clay kept the conversation going as we drove
south on the coastal highway. “I always figured you for college
bound when you were a teenager.”

“Back then so did I.” I stared at the sliver
of blue ocean visible out my car window. Sand dunes covered in sea
oats blocked the view.

We crested the uphill span of A1A over the
Vilano Beach Bridge navigating through the traffic of downtown St.
Augustine. He parallel parked on a side street and released Bowzer
from the car.

We walked by all the hotels and restaurants
on the bay, down past the ornate architecture to a less pretty part
of town.

“This is it.” He gestured to a faded beige
stucco building with generic white letters stating LAUNDROMAT on
the façade. Clay pulled a ring of keys from his pocket to open the
plate glass door. Inside the white walls were covered - washers on
top, dryers on bottom. The long narrow room held little to offer.
“Back here is the apartment.”

I peeked inside the dingy dark room and
wondered how a bed would fit. At least it smelled good, like fabric
softener and detergent.

“I know it’s not much but no one will be
breathing over your shoulder. Most customers are college kids. Used
to be a lot of fun just hanging out. You know?”

“Can I think about it?”

“Sure.”

I came home from a work demo I’d done at a
bulk superstore to find Benny sitting on the couch. “What are you
doing here?”

“Waiting on Della.”

“Why?”

He smirked. “Big girls need lovin’ too.”

“You’re an asshole,” I muttered and kept
walking. When I got to my room, my bed was rumpled. I wrote it off
thinking Pinkie had been on it. When I opened a drawer, it was
evident my stuff had been gone through. I turned around and
inspected every surface. A disc was displayed prominently on my
nightstand.

I stormed back downstairs and found Michelle
sitting beside Benny. Two identical smirks on their faces.

“Wow! You still keep a copy after all this
time,” Benny feigned surprise.

I didn’t know if the DVD held the footage of
a night I wished never happened. I just knew I couldn’t let them
get to me. The girl who had fallen victim to depression, dependence
and feelings of defeat was now a young woman who refused to play
their games. I backtracked to my room, locked the door, and began
packing.

Though I worried I was trading one bad
situation for another I called Clay. “If I agree to work at the
Laundromat can I move in tonight?”

“I was going to have the room professionally
cleaned maybe throw a coat of paint on the walls.”

“Thanks but I’ll take care of all that,” I
said.

“You sure?”

“I’ll be over in an hour to pick up the
keys.”

When I had just gotten the last box in my
trunk Della arrived home. “What is going on?”

“I’m moving out.”

“I can see that. Why?” she asked
wounded.