Authors: D H Sidebottom
and Beatrice’s story
Copyright © 2015
By D H Sidebottom
This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to actual
places, incidents and persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Copyright © 2015 D H Sidebottom. Please do not copy, alter or
redistribute this book.
something beautiful about all scars of whatever nature.
A scar means
that the hurt is over, the wound is closed and healed, done with.’
~ Harry Crews,
Jay and Beatrice’s story takes place during the same time
as Fortitude did, hence the story including Ava and Mason before they moved to
I covered my ears with my hands as I pulled Timmy, my
teddy bear, to my body with my knees and climbed deeper under my duvet. Mummy’s
screams made my chest hurt. My throat was sore every time I swallowed and my
Mummy’s screams grew quieter, James’ shouts muted and
less angry now he had finished. Erin was crying in her cot but I was too scared
to go and fetch her. If James caught me then mummy would pay for my bad
Timmy looked at me with his sad glass eyes as we both
heard mummy’s whimpers, her cries soft as she tried to hide them from me. I
heard her though. I always heard her.
I shuffled back into my headboard when I heard James move
across the landing, his plods on the carpet heavy and soothing to my tummy now
I knew he had definitely finished hurting Mummy.
When the front door slammed, I scurried out of bed and
ran to the bathroom, grabbing the brown towels and not the white ones. Mummy
was always cross with me when I used the white ones.
Her puffy eyes opened when I quietly crept in. She
smiled, the pain to her bruised face showing when she winced. “Hey, honey,” she
I didn’t talk, I just touched her chin with the towel and
started to clean her up, as was our usual routine.
“What did you do in art today?”
I hated it when she tried to talk. She always did and it
always made her poorlies more unbearable for her.
When I didn’t answer she placed her hand over mine, stopping
me from dabbing her bleeding mouth. “Jay, please honey. I’m okay.”
I shook my head as I stared at the huge bruise coming on
her chest. She tried to move but cried out in pain and curled back up into bed.
I could tell she was trying to hide her crying from me but that made me even
“Honey?” she said again, pulling my hand away from her
I looked at her, angry that she could let James hurt her
so much. I wanted to hit him, I wanted to stop him but I knew I was too little
and that he would make mummy hurt more for my bad behaviour.
Mummy needed someone to help her.
“Do you want me to find daddy?”
Her eyes widened on me, my question one that I had never
asked before. She swallowed and her eyes filled with so many tears I was sure
her eyeballs were going to drown. She screwed up her face and squeezed my hand
tighter. “Daddy wouldn’t ever want to see me hurt, honey. And besides,” she
smiled but I knew it wasn’t a real one, her eyes didn’t twinkle like they did
when she was happy. “Why would I need a big man when I have my own little man
who takes care of me so well?”
I knew she was telling fibs. My daddy was big and strong.
He would take care of her.
I nodded and placed the towel beside her then went to get
her a glass of water from the tap in the bathroom. “Thank you,” she smiled real
this time. My mummy was beautiful when she smiled. I wanted to make her smile
more. I liked it when she laughed, it made my tummy do silly things.
I kissed her gently on the cheek so I didn’t hurt her
mouth. “Goodnight, don’t let the bed bugs bite.”
She laughed but flinched, her laughter turning to a
painful groan that made my heart hurt more. “Night, night sweetheart.”
Closing mummy’s door, I opened Erin’s. She had settled
back down, her dummy moving up and down as she sucked hard on it. I kissed her
forehead then went back to my room and hunted for the camera that mummy hid in
the bottom of my toy box. Placing it on my table, I pressed record and jumped
on to my bed. “Hi Daddy. It’s…” I couldn’t remember what the day was. “Uhh, it’s
Saturday I think.” I hadn’t been to school so figured it was the weekend. “I
hope you’re okay… wherever you are. James hurt mummy again.” I started to cry.
“It’s all my fault, Daddy. I forgot to empty the kitchen bin. Mummy told James
it was her fault.”
I grabbed hold of Timmy’s paw. He always made me feel
“She needs your help Daddy. You need to come home so
James will go and then he can’t make mummy cry anymore.”
I lowered my eyes, knowing daddy would get cross with me.
“I’m coming to find you, Daddy,” I told him, whispering
so mummy wouldn’t hear. “I’m going to find you so you can come home with me and
Reaching over the bed I pressed the stop button on the
camera, then lay on the floor and pulled out the bag I had been filling with
food for a long time. Stuffing Timmy inside too, I pulled on my shoes and
quietly crept down the stairs. Mummy was still sniffing so I hoped she didn’t
Pulling the chair across the floor, I climbed onto it and
pulled my coat from the hook where it hung beside the front door. Then I
slipped out and went to look for daddy.
I never found him.
He never found me.
He didn’t come and rescue us for many years.
I swore with every breath I took that I would never allow
someone to rule me like James did my mummy. I would never let anyone inside me
that could hurt me and make me suffer just like my mummy suffered for so long.
But, unbeknown to me at the time, James’ torture on my
mother had a profound effect on my adult life.
The echo of her cries in my head fed something inside me
that became uncontrollable. Something I couldn’t move away from.
Until her. Until Beatrice Vine.
“You just gonna eye fuck all night, or you gonna hit the
guy and actually fuck him?” Mia posed as she poked me in a rib and I spluttered
at the throat full of the
cocktail I had just sipped at. God,
this stuff resembled antifreeze and was bloody lethal. I advise you not to down
a few dozen in the space of two hours like I had done.
“Excuse me, I’m sucking blue balls at the moment.” I told
her with a blasé expression as I removed my eyes from Mr Dripping Sex over the
other side of the room and focused, somewhat problematically, on one of my best
“You’re giving him a case of blue balls Bea, go relieve
the poor guy.” Leo, my very gay best friend now offered and I scowled at him.
“Why is sex always so easy for you all?” I shifted my
eyes from Mia to Leo to Emma. They all shrugged in a singular motion and I
giggled drunkenly at their synchronisation. We had all been friends since
primary school, each of us growing up with each other’s families, in each
other’s houses with each other’s trials and tribulations through school,
college, university and finally into adult life. They were my support group, my
shoulders to lean on and my ultimate fun and giggle guys. I loved each of them
and each of their unique characteristics.
“Hot guy overload, ten o’clock! Good God, look at those
damn thighs. They’d hold you tight, Bea.” Leo grinned at me with a waggle of
his eyebrows and I drunkenly squinted at him. What the hell was he getting
excited for? He was getting married next week.
Mr Dripping Sex stalked across the room, his long solid
legs closing the distance between us swiftly but gracefully as he approached
like a panther stalking its prey, dark and dangerous reflected in his eyes. His
blond curls were plastered to his forehead in the heat of the room but he
remained cool and confident, his bright blazing blue eyes fixed on me as he
stepped right in front of me.
“You wanna talk or should we continue to flirt from
across the room?” he asked huskily as he leaned into me.
Now, I’ve never been a cool girl, never been the most
popular or with-it person but I’ve never been a klutz or a catastrophe either,
not until the Adonis that was now in my personal space was soon to witness.
I just needed to get this straight before I told you the
next part. I don’t want you rolling your eyes and thinking ‘here we go again,
another whingey, clumsy heroine in a book’.
I shuffled back on my stool and my arse gracefully and
elegantly dropped off the edge. I swiftly dropped my glass between my legs, its
blue liquid seeping through my white dress and straight into my knickers. My
hands made a desperate snatch at Mr Sex’s biceps and I flung my legs around his
thighs, locking my ankles over his arse, his very firm arse I might add, very
inelegantly and improperly as I urgently tried to remain on the stool and look
chic and classy.
I needed the floor to open up and swallow me whole,
either that or a couple of rampantly hungry piranhas would have done.
Mr Sex sank his teeth into his lower lip in a bid to
contain his laughter as he grasped my upper arms and pulled me back onto the
“Sugar, you don’t need to take me here, I have a great
bed in my apartment where you can wrap that delicious body around me.” His
bright eyes twinkled with humour.
I briskly pulled my hands away as I dropped my legs back
down, my face red and flush as I cleared my throat. “I was just testing the
firmness of your arse to see if it was worth a go over.”
“Uh-huh, and?” he smirked with a quirk of a brow.
Damn, he was sex on a stick and I wanted to lick every
bloody inch of him. His body looked firm and hard through his light blue shirt;
his entrancing bright blue eyes held me hostage as did his soft pink lips but
the pièce de résistance was the bad boy scar running the length of his face, from
his right eye to his jaw … completely hot!
I wrinkled my nose. “Nah, sorry, honey but it needs a bit
of work. My cane wouldn’t bounce enough.”
One edge of his mouth lifted into a sly grin and I could
see the delight reflected in his pupils. “Maybe I should slip it backwards off
a stool or two to make it as delightful as yours.”
I snorted loudly and eyed him. “Seriously? Is that how
you usually hook a girl, insult her?”
The deep blue of his eyes sparkled mischievously and my
stomach fluttered at the naughtiness in them. “I think you just hooked me sugar
- with your legs, in a desperate attempt to remain vertical in my presence.”
My eyes rolled at his cockiness. I’d met plenty of guys
like him, thinking they can smile their pearly whites at you and your knickers
hop off and wave ta-ta. Well mine were glued and stapled on tight, even if they
were now blue and stank of paint stripper.
“I don’t think I’ll be horizontal at any point in your
presence. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m trying to have a night with my friends.”
His eyes held my face as he tipped his head and regarded
me. “I bet I can kiss you without touching you,” he stated confidently.
Yeah, like anyone could do that!
“Really?” I mocked with a self-confident swagger.
He nodded and grinned at the dare before his hands
suddenly cupped my face and his lips were on mine, moving so softly and
smoothly I melted instantly into him. Good God, Mr Sex could kiss. He could
snog the face off a sober nun and she’d hold on for dear life, just like I was
His hands slid into my hair as mine grasped his arms
tightly and a deep husky moan rumbled through his chest whilst his teeth
nibbled across my bottom lip encouraging me to trail my tongue across his own. A
forbidden moan erupted up my throat and he swallowed it whole, completely
devoured it as his hands dropped to my back and he pulled me deeper into him. His
tongue was exploring the inside of my mouth so thoroughly I could feel the
little taste buds on the surface of it against my cheek, against the roof of my
mouth, against my own tongue and even across my teeth.
“Holy fuck!” he breathed as he finally pulled back. He
rested his forehead on mine as his tongue swept across his bottom lip like he
could still taste me on it.
I swallowed and blinked at him as I tried to distinguish
the sensations running through me. Christ, I was on fire. I wanted to ride him
to Australia and back and then take him to hell over and over again. The devil
could watch, I wasn’t too fussy.
“Oops, I lost.” He winked before he pulled back and
frowned at me as though confused by something then walked away. Just like that,
his fine rear displayed to me as he retreated across the room and exited
through the main doors.
“Oh my god. I think I just witnessed God.” Emma swooned.
I stared at her wide eyed and stunned as my heart beat
wildly in my chest and my knickers were no longer wet with just turps.