Forever Altered (17 page)

When
Alyssa finally comes out of the bathroom, she looks just as comfortable as I
feel being in her room.  She goes out into the living room locking up and
turning all of the lights off.  Before she comes back in the room she
calls out asking if I need anything.  The only thing I really need right
now is to get this talk over with, but I don’t tell her that.  She returns
to her room with a couple bottles of water. 

Since
I’m already sitting on her bed with my back up against the wall, Alyssa crawls
up next to me and curls into my side.  It’s still hard to wrap my head
around just how wonderful holding her feels and how as soon as her body comes
in contact with mine I feel complete.  Then, out of nowhere, realization
sets in.  The guys were right. There is no one that I have ever wanted or
will ever want more than her.  There isn’t anywhere I’d rather be other
than wherever she is.  The only way I am happy is if she is happy. 
She makes me feel like the earth is finally spinning again simply because she
is in my life.  Protecting her from anyone who is a threat is now my
job.  How could I not have seen this before?  I am totally and
completely in love with her.  It’s almost as though I only exist for her.

“So,
are you going to tell me what was going on the last few nights?”  Her question
breaks through my euphoric moment.  We have to get through this before I
can tell her what I’ve finally figured out.  The fear she may not feel the
same way about me shocks me for a second, but it really doesn’t matter.  I
still love her and I always will.

“My
dad’s birthday was yesterday,” is all I need to say.

She
backs away and turns to face me.  “Why didn’t you tell me?”  The
absence of her against me is a little painful, so I reach for her and bring her
back to me. 

“I
didn’t want you to have to choose between staying here with me and going with
Leah.  You would have been torn and I didn’t want you to feel bad with
either decision you made.” 

“I
would have figured something out, Rocco.  You are so sweet to worry about
me over yourself and I really do appreciate that.  You want to be there
for me and do everything that you think I need.  You have to let me do
that for you, too.  I
want
to be able to do that for you.  You
are part of my life now just as much as Leah is, if not more.  Whenever
you need me, I will be there for you.  I promise.”  If I wasn’t in
love with her a few minutes ago, I would have been now anyway. 
  

“I’m
so sorry that I acted like such an ass to you and for not telling you.” 
The issue with Vicki crosses my mind, but I push it out.  I should really
tell her, but it’s not the right time.

“I’ve
already forgiven you, but don’t do it again, Matthews.  Seriously. 
I’ll kick your ass next time.”

“There
won’t be a next time.  I promise.”

For
the next hour, we lay in her bed talking and laughing.  The things we talk
about are completely random.  Our favorite elementary school
teachers.  Worst movie ever made.  Places we’d like to travel to
someday.  Television shows we watched as kids.  We even bickered
about baseball.  Being with her this way only confirms what I discovered a
little earlier tonight.  It occurs to me that it doesn’t matter if she
doesn’t say it back.  I want to tell her.  I need her to know how she
makes me feel.

When
she settles in next to me, I know it won’t be long before she falls
asleep.  If I want to tell her tonight, it has to be now and I feel like
nothing that comes out of my mouth could properly explain my feelings for
her.  “I don’t know how you managed to do it.”  I am thinking out
loud.  That isn’t what I meant to say.

“Managed
what?” she asks snuggling into me. 

There’s
no going back now.  I need to answer her truthfully.  “I don’t know
how you managed to make me fall in love with you.”   

I
feel her immediately tense up next to me.  She doesn’t move when she
speaks.  “You’re in love with me?”

I
take a deep breath before answering her.  Her reaction is starting to
freak me out.  “I am.”

She
lifts herself off of my chest and peeks up at me with the most adorable look
I’ve ever seen on her face.  When she blinks, a tear rolls down her
cheek.  Instinctively, I wipe it from her face with my thumb. 
“That’s good to know since I’ve fallen in love with you, too.”

Alyssa

This
past week has been one of the greatest of my life.  Last Friday when I
heard Rocco’s broken voice on the phone and felt the worst pain in my chest
from worry, I knew without a doubt that I was in love with him.  There was
nothing I wanted more than to take the pain away, even if I had to bear it
myself.  That’s not something you would do for just anyone.  It
doesn’t matter that we haven’t known each other very long.  The feelings I
have because of him, for him, are all the proof I will ever need.  I was
irrefutably put on this earth for the sole purpose of loving Rocco. 
Everything I have gone through up until now was just to prepare me for a life
with someone who loves me as much as he does.

We’ve
spent just about every possible minute together since Saturday when Rocco told
me that he loved me.  Waking up to
him
sleeping
beside me Sunday morning was something I won’t soon forget.  While I lay
there watching him sleep, the only thought that crossed my mind was wanting
this to be an everyday occurrence.  Every night since then, he stayed with
me until after I fell sound asleep with the exception of Wednesday night when I
slept over at his apartment.  I had only gone over to watch a movie after
class with him and the guys except when it was over, he wouldn’t let me
leave.  Not that I put up much of an argument.  We ate most meals
together.  Sometimes we ate here at school and we went out a couple of
times, too.  He’d walk me to class if he could.  My roommates don’t
mind him being around, either.  Thank goodness for that because I really
do like our apartment much better than his.

I’ve
been stuck in this chair for over an hour now while Leah plays with my hair and
finishes up my makeup.  There is no reason I couldn’t do these things by
myself other than she insisted.  To be honest, I’m actually so nervous to
go to this dinner tonight that I’m overly grateful to her for helping me. 
Rocco has been reassuring me how it’s really no big deal, but meeting his
mother is definitely a big deal to me.  Well, there’s that and the fact that
the heels Leah insisted I buy to go with the dress she picked out are literally
a deathtrap.  Whoever invented heels should be shot. 

“Hold
still,
Lyss
.  I’m almost done,” Leah says
pinning the last piece of my hair in place.  She left most of it down, but
pinned up the sides so they weren’t touching my face.  My best friend
knows me well enough to assume I will constantly be pushing it away.  It
drives her nuts when I do it.  “There.  You are done,” she
exclaims.  “And absolutely beautiful I might add.”  She is looking
over me into the mirror she had me sit in front of so I could watch her. 

“You
are the best roommate ever!” I tell her. 

“I
know,” she smiles at me.  “Now go get the dress on.  Rocco will be
here to get you soon.  I don’t want him seeing you until my masterpiece is
complete.” 

“Are
you sure this dress is appropriate to wear?  I’ve never been to anything
like this.”  Nerves are starting to get the best of me, again.  We
must have had the dress talk about twenty times in the last week.  Leah
swore it was perfect, but I’m unsure now that it’s time to put it on. 

 “Alyssa
Adler, so help me, if Rocco walks in here and you aren’t ready…” she starts.

 Holding
up my hands in surrender and grabbing the dress from my closet, I run into the
bathroom before she loses it.  I pull it on quickly and carefully not to
mess up my hair or my makeup.  Having to fix me would really set Leah
off.  The dress is actually very pretty.  It is a dark charcoal gray
and it’s just loose enough to give me room to move, but tight enough to show
way more than I am used to.  It is a bandage style dress, with sheer lace
capped sleeves.  The back is mostly open and there is a touch of sequin
accents which give it just a hint of sparkle in the right light.  I find
myself twisting and turning to look in the mirror the way Leah does.  A
soft knock on the door startles me. 

 “Almost
ready, Sunshine?”  Just the sound of his voice makes my heart beat
faster. 

 “Be
out in a sec,” I yell through the door sliding my feet in my entirely too high
black heels.  Luckily, I don’t stumble when I walk to the door.  One
more glance down at myself and I think how nice my tattoo looks in these
shoes.  Shame I won’t be wearing them again.    

 When
I open the door, Leah, Erin, and Julia are standing there.  “I need to
make sure you look perfect first,” Leah informs me.  “Spin around.” 
I do as instructed and by the time I’m facing her again, Leah has a huge smile
on her face.  “Marvelous!  Okay, Rocco.  She’s all yours. 
Just don’t mess her up until
after
you leave the dinner,” she warns.

 “How
the hell could I mess her up?” he asks her confused walking into my room as I
step out of the bathroom.  When he sees me, he stops dead in his tracks
with his mouth slightly hanging open in the midst of talking.  I cannot
help but notice how handsome he is dressed up.  He is wearing black pants
and a black dress shirt with a blue tie so dark and shiny it almost looks
black.  The suit jacket he had slung over his shoulder is now practically
hanging by his fingertips almost to the floor.

 “Do
I look that bad?” I ask suddenly worried he doesn’t like the dress.

 “Bad
is not even close to what I’m thinking, Sunshine,” he manages to get out. 
“You are absolutely stunning,” he says after a long pause.  Instantly, I
feel relieved as he comes over reaching out for my hand.  He pulls it up
to his lips kissing it and leans down to kiss my cheek. 

 “Don’t
you dare mess up her makeup,
Matthews!
  I will
seriously kick your ass!”  Leah threatens.  Her attention is drawn to
the kitchen where there is a knock at the door.  The sound of a few voices
reaches us. 

 “Let
me see.  Let me see,” Paige is calling as she comes in my room.  “So
beautiful!” she squeals. 

 “Holy
shit!” Shane blurts out from behind Paige making us all look up at him. 
  Rocco’s look is a little more intimidating than ours, though. 
Erin and Julia are sitting on Leah’s bed trying to hide their giggling. 
“Damn Rocco.  You’re going to be busy fighting them off tonight,
man.”  Troy hits him in the back of the head.  “What?  Do you
really think I’m the only one who is going to notice how hot she is?  I
get that you are in love with Paige and everything, but even you have to see
it.”

 “No. 
You are just the only dumb ass to say it out loud,” Troy says to him. 
Paige snickers beside him.    

 Rocco
brings his attention back to me.  “I got you something,” he announces
pulling a box out of his jacket pocket.  He holds out a long, rectangular
light blue box with a white ribbon wrapped around it.  There is only one
place that can be from and I own absolutely nothing from there.  I look up
at him completely shocked and he nods for me to take it.  Slowly, my hand
reaches out and he places the box inside of it.  Slowly, I open the box to
see a beautiful platinum diamond heart necklace staring back at me.

 My
eyes do not wander from the overly expensive gift Rocco has given me. 
“Rocco, I cannot…”

 “Sunshine,”
he interrupts before I can say anything else.  “Please don’t tell me you
aren’t going to accept it.  It literally took me hours to figure out which
one to buy for you.”  He takes the box back from me and removes the
necklace before placing it around my neck.  We are staring at it in the
mirror.  “It doesn’t shine nearly as bright as you, but it is still
beautiful,” he whispers. 

 “It
is.  Thank you, so much.  I love it!”  I turn around and throw
my arms around him.  “I love you,” I tell him before kissing him. 

 “Oh. 
My.  Goodness!  What the hell did I just say to you two about the
makeup?” Leah shouts.

 “Let’s
go before I get in any more trouble,” Rocco chuckles.  “Do you have a bag
ready for tonight?”  He asked me to stay overnight at his house tonight
and have brunch with his mom and stepfather tomorrow. 

 “Yup. 
It’s over on my bed.”  He goes over to grab my bag and his jacket he had
draped over my desk chair. 

“I
already pulled my car up to the door right outside.”  He’s holding his arm
out for me to hold onto which I graciously accept. 

“Please
don’t let me break my neck in these things.”  Leah is grumbling behind
me.  She thinks all girls are born knowing how to walk in
heels.   

“I
would never let you fall.”

Leah
is handing me her clutch purse which I’m sure she stocked with all of the makeup
she just used on me.  I have no plans of actually using any more of it,
but it’s best to keep that thought to myself.  She pulls me in for a
hug.  “Have a great time.”  Then she whispers our usual, “Don’t do
anything that I wouldn’t do.”  I’m sure my face turned a light shade of
red since everyone is standing around us.

We
leave right after another round goodbyes.  I mean, seriously, we aren’t
getting married.  The sendoff is very unnecessary, but I know it’s only
because they love me.  Rocco maneuvers me down the steps outside of the
building without incident.  Once we are on the highway a few miles from
school, I notice the frown on his face.

“What’s
wrong?”  We haven’t even been gone for ten minutes. 

“Shane’s
right, you know?”  He hasn’t let go of my hand since we got in the
car. 

“About?” 
Am I really going to have to pry this out of him?

“You
look really hot,” he says with a wink.  “Those bastards will be all over
you.”

“You
have nothing to worry about,” I encourage him even though the idea is absurd.

“No? 
Why not?”

“Because
I’m only going home with you.  More importantly, I’m only in love with
you.” 

This
gets me his biggest, brightest grin.  “Yeah you are.”  I cannot help
but giggle.  He’s so cute when he thinks it could even be possible for me
to love someone other than him.  He really has no idea what he’s done to
me.

The
rest of the ride goes by fairly quickly.  We have both relaxed from any
earlier anxiety.  I’m actually feeling a little excited to meet his mom
now.  He is telling me about some of the other people who will be there
and who he would like to introduce me to.  I mention how I’ve been
wondering if he would be interested in coming home with me to meet my dad and
Jill one weekend before the wedding.  He seems thrilled about the idea,
but only after asking for close to the millionth time if my dad is really
alright with me getting the tattoo.

A
little tension sets in when we pull into the driveway for the country
club.  I know I don’t belong in a place like this.  My hand
automatically goes to the necklace around my neck.  Will these people
think I am only with Rocco because of his family’s money?

He
pulls to a stop and gets out handing the valet his key.  “Take care of her
for me okay?”  I see him pat the guy on the back.

“Of
course, Mr. Matthews.”  They know him by name.  Why am I surprised?

My
door pops open and I hear Rocco tell the guy that he’s got it.  He reaches
for me.  “This is my job,” he winks at me pulling me into his arms. 
Then he whispers in my ear, “Whatever you are thinking, please stop. 
These people aren’t the rich snobs you are thinking they are.  I
promise.  Unfortunately, they are all going to love you,” he sighs. 
As long as he has ahold of me I feel so much better.  He leads
inside. 

The
building and the landscape are exquisite.  When I tell Rocco what I think,
he just shakes his head.  “It’s just a building with overly expensive shit
thrown around in random places.  It’s no big deal.”  He takes me into
the large ballroom greeting people along the way.   There are
pictures of many fallen officers set up on the table at the entryway. 
Some of them are from years ago.  My attention is drawn to the beautiful
woman heading our way.  She is fairly tall, maybe a little shorter than
Rocco.  Her hair is pulled up into a fancy up do and a very dark
brown.  Once she’s closer, I can see her eyes are the exact same shade of
blue that I have grown to adore seeing every day.  “There she is. 
The most beautiful woman in the room,” Rocco declares when she has reached
us.  She immediately hugs him and kisses him on the cheek, but he never
lets his hold on me falter. 

“Now,
Rocco, I know you were raised better than to lie to your mother,” she says
smiling warmly at me.  If I didn’t see the resemblance, I would have never
guessed she could be old enough to be his mother.  She doesn’t look a day
over thirty.  “Clearly, I’ve been dethroned by the astonishing young woman
you have on your arm this evening.”

“I’m
sorry, ma’am.  It will never happen again,” he teases her.  “Mom,
this is Alyssa.  Alyssa, my mom, Rose Lewis.”

“It’s
so nice to finally meet you, Mrs. Lewis,” I shake her hand she already has
extended to me.  She surprises me by reaching over to hug me.

“Likewise,
my dear.  But please, call me Rose.”  I acknowledge her
request.  “So, tell me that my son has been treating you exceptionally
well.  A mother needs to be able to sleep at night without worrying about
her son’s manners.”  She quickly glances to him with a grin before giving
her attention back to me.