Forever and Always (18 page)

“
We can take a break and
start over when this is settled,” he said. “We are meant for each
other. Please give me another chance.”

“
It’s over.”

Sean dropped his gaze.
“Scarlet—”

“
My answer will not
change. I deserve to be with someone who doesn’t have to fuck up
twice to realize how amazing I am.”

“
I agree,” he said. “But
luckily for me, I am the only guy you want.”

“
For now,” I
said.

Sean looked at me. “This can’t be the
end.”

“
But it is.”

17

Sean didn’t mention our relationship
for the next two days. I was thankful for the reprieve because I
was emotionally dry from thinking about it. He improved over the
following days. He wasn’t vomiting his food anymore, and he didn’t
wake up every morning covered in a cold sweat. My time with Sean
was coming to an end. At night, I indulged myself by wrapping my
arms around him while I slept until the morning light broke through
the windows and flooded his room. I even stared at him while he
slept, treasuring the memory for safekeeping through the following
years. I suspected that was the last time I would see Sean, at
least for many years, and even that seemed unlikely. My whole
family lived in Seattle now. There was nothing left for me in New
York.

When Sean woke up, I walked into the
living room and searched through Penelope’s clothes until I found a
black dress and shoes that I let her borrow months ago.

“
I’m taking these back,” I
said without looking at her.

Sean watched me walk into the bathroom
then stared at me when I came out. “Are you leaving?” he asked
sadly.

“
Yes,” I said. “But I’ll
be back. I have to run an errand.”

“
I’ll come with you,” he
said as got up.

“
I’m going alone,
Sean.”

He stared at me. “Why are you dressed
like that?”

“
I just want to look
nice.”

“
Are you going on a date?”
he asked apprehensively.

“
No.”

“
Then why won’t you tell
me where you’re going?”

I sighed. “Please drop it,
Sean.”

He was quiet for a moment.
“Okay.”

“
There is breakfast on the
stove,” I said. “I’ll be back in an hour.” The cab took me downtown
to the building that housed Sean's firm.

When I walked through the hallway of
the office, Brian spilled his coffee on his shirt as he watched me
pass him. He didn’t say anything as he stared at me. He was
speechless. Mr. Perkins’ name was on the outside of the door, so I
knew which office was his. I knocked on the door and I heard him
speak.

“
Come in.”

When I walked into the room, his eyes
widened in surprise then his mouth stretched into a smile. It was
obvious that he approved of my tight fitted dress and the way my
hair fell around my shoulders. I reached out and shook his hand.
“It’s nice to see you again, sir.”

“
The pleasure is all
mine,” he said happily as he held my hand. He didn’t release his
hold and I didn’t fight it. “What can I do for you?”

“
I was hoping I could
speak with you.”

“
Well, you have my
undivided attention,” he said as he glanced to my legs and back up
to my face. My tolerance for men was waning, but I forced myself to
focus on my mission.

“
I wanted to discuss
Sean.”

Mr. Perkins nodded. “You are referring
to the man that just stopped showing up for work without calling or
giving notice? This is the Sean you are referring to?”

“
Yes,” I said with nod.
“The very one.”

“
I sincerely hope he
doesn’t expect to get his job back,” he said. “I’ve already hired a
replacement.”

“
I understand that,” I
said. “What Sean did was inexcusable and unprofessional. You won’t
hear me say otherwise.”

“
You aren’t making a
compelling argument.” He laughed.

“
It was never my intention
to.”

“
Then what do you want?”
he asked. He leaned against his desk while he looked at me,
mesmerized by my appearance. At least I could rely on my looks when
I had nothing else to offer.

“
I want you to give Sean a
second chance.”

“
I have no reason to,” he
said.

“
I am sure that you know
what happened to him, sir. I know it’s been the office gossip
around here.”

“
I’m not saying I don’t
feel bad for the guy.”

“
Sean was a great worker
and employee. He never called in sick and he never caused any
trouble. If you have any compassion or empathy for him, please give
him another chance, sir.”

Mr. Perkins stared at me for a moment.
“What did he do to get the love of such an amazing woman?” he
asked. “You could have anyone you want. Why that guy?”

I sighed. “Sean is also amazing,” I
said. “That may not always be clear, but it’s true. I’ll stand by
him forever.”

“
I can’t think of very
many women who would do what you are doing right now,” he said.
“He’s a lucky man.”

“
I know,” I said. “And he
knows that, too.”

“
Tell him I’ll see him
tomorrow,” he said as he walked back to his seat. I felt my face
stretch into a smile. “And if he messes up one time, he’s done.
Even if he is a minute late, he’s fired.”

I walked over to him and shook his
hand vigorously. Then, I kissed him on the cheek and pulled away.
“Thank you so much, Mr. Perkins.”

His smile was wider than I had ever
seen it. “You are very welcome, Scarlet.”

I left his office and walked past
Brian’s desk. He was trying to get the coffee stain out of his
shirt, so he didn’t see me make my departure. I called down a cab
and returned to Sean’s apartment. When I walked in his bedroom, he
was sitting up in bed reading a book. He put it aside when I came
inside.

“
That was quick,” he
said.

“
It didn’t take as long as
I planned,” I said. “Did you like your breakfast?”

Sean nodded. “Everything you cook is
amazing, Scarlet.”

“
Thank you.”

“
Now are you going to tell
me what you were doing?”

I smiled. “Mr. Perkins gave you your
job back,” I said excitedly. “You start tomorrow.”

Sean stared at me for a moment,
processing what I said. “How did that happen?”

“
I talked to your
boss.”

“
And he just hired me
back?” he asked incredulously. “I haven’t called or emailed the
office in a week, and now it’s water under the bridge?”

“
Well, he said you can’t
mess around anymore,” I said. “Even if you are a minute late,
you’re done.”

“
What the hell did you say
to him?” he asked.

“
I just asked for your job
back.”

Sean shook his head. “I can’t believe
you did that for me.”

“
I can.” I smiled. “I
would do anything for you.”

Sean rose from the bed and hugged me
tightly. “Thank you,” he whispered. “I don’t know what I would do
without you.”

“
Make sure you don’t screw
it up this time,” I teased him. “Otherwise I’m going to have to
bring your boss donuts.”

Sean smiled at me. “What’s better than
that? A gorgeous woman holding a box of glazed donuts—every man’s
fantasy.”

“
Well, I am a hot piece of
ass.”

Sean’s face fell, and I
saw him take a deep breath. The words wounded him and made him step
back. The last time I said that, he said I was
his
hot piece of ass. I was no
longer his and never would be again. I saw how much I hurt him, and
I regretted my words.

“
I’m sorry,” I
whispered.

Sean turned around, blocking his face
from view, and said nothing for a few moments. When he found his
bearings, he turned back to me. “When are you leaving?”

“
My flight leaves
tomorrow.”

Sean nodded. “Okay.”

“
You are going to be
okay.”

“
How is this going to be?”
he asked. “Am I allowed to call you? Can I still come visit you?
Will you ever come back to New York?” The pain in his eyes went
straight to my heart. I knew he’d been thinking about this for the
past few days. It was obvious that he already knew the answer to
his question by the tightness of his jaw and the tension in his
shoulders.

“
No,” I said. “We aren’t
doing any of that.”

“
Please don’t do this to
me,” he whispered. “Don’t cut me out—
please
.”

I dropped my gaze. “I can’t talk to
you or see you anymore, Sean. It’s too hard for me. I want to move
on, and I can’t do that if I’m still in love with you.”

“
Give me another chance,
Scarlet—please. I promise I won’t hurt you again.”

I shook my head. “Please stop asking
me.”

Sean crossed his arms over his chest.
“At least give me your friendship.”

“
Sean, if you ever need me
for anything, I am here for you—always—no matter what happens. But
I can’t talk to you on a regular basis. Please respect that. Don’t
call me unless you absolutely need to. I am moving on with my
life—I suggest you do the same.”

Sean walked into the bathroom and shut
the door behind him. I heard the water running in the shower and
knew he was sitting under it, trying to drown out all other noise,
including the voices in his head. I changed into his gym clothes
and walked into the bathroom. Sean had his head between his legs
and I knew he was crying by the shaking of his body. He just had on
his undershorts and his clothes were scattered across the floor. I
got into the shower and sat next to him. He stopped crying when he
realized I was sitting next to him, and I wrapped my arms around
him.

“
You have to promise me,
Sean,” I said. “I trust you not to lie to me.”

Sean didn’t respond. He knew I was
asking him to not fall back into the same depression. That he
wouldn’t turn to substance abuse just to cope. He would stay strong
and move on with this life.

“
Sean,” I pressed.
“Promise me.”

He sighed. “Okay. I
promise.”

18

Sean and I left the apartment the next
morning with my bag over my shoulder, but Sean carried it for me as
we walked down to the sidewalk. Cars and taxis were speeding down
the road as people hurried to work in the city. Sean and I stood
there for a moment as the noise of the cars and people echoed
around us.

Sean stared at me for a long moment,
and his look was so sad that I turned around to wave down a cab
just to avoid seeing him. Suddenly, Sean broke down and the tears
fell from his eyes. The cab pulled over and I opened the
door.

“
I can’t believe this is
happening,” he said. He grabbed me in his arms and held me close.
“Please don’t do this to me. I can’t live without you, Scar. Don’t
go.”

I pulled away from him. “Yes, you
can,” I said. “You chose to live without me when you went back to
Penelope. If you can do it then, you can do it now. You’ll be fine,
Sean. You can have whatever girl you want. She’ll fall in love with
you and you’ll be happy again. You’ll forget about me in no time.
You probably won’t even remember my name.” It wasn’t my intention
to be cruel or bitter, but it was the truth. He would be fine
without me.

“
Please don’t say that,”
he whispered. “I love you.”

The tears fell from my eyes as I
listened to him. He was heartbroken and scared, and I could hear
the sincerity in his voice. A part of me worried about what he
would do after I left, but he promised me that he wouldn’t lose
control. “I love you, too.”

Sean held me for a moment and I felt
his tears drip onto my neck. My body shook with my own sobs as I
held him for the last time. I didn’t expect to see him ever again.
This was just as hard for me as it was for him.

“
I’ll do anything,” he
said. “Anything to make you stay.”

“
There is nothing,” I
whispered. I pulled away and looked at him. “Take care of
yourself.”

Sean’s eyes were red from the tears he
shed. His hands gripped my arms so tightly I doubted he would let
me go. He pressed his face against mine then I felt his lips on my
own. He kissed me gently, and I returned his affection, also
depressed that I was saying goodbye. His tears combined with mine
and I felt them drip down my face as we kissed on the sidewalk of
Manhattan, oblivious to the people walking by and the horn of the
cab that was waiting for me. I grabbed his face as I kissed him,
and Sean dropped my bag as he held me closer. His lips tasted like
salt from his falling tears and it made me cry harder. Finally, I
pulled away and grabbed my bag without looking at him. It was
already hard enough, without him making it unbearable. I turned to
the cab, but Sean grabbed me.