Forever and Always (19 page)

“
I’ll always love you,
Scarlet,” he said. “I’m always here if you change your
mind.”

I still didn’t look at him. “I’ll
always love you, too,” I said. “But I’m not coming
back.”

Sean released his grip on my arm and I
sat inside the cab, shutting the door behind me.

“
JFK,” I said through my
tears. The cab sped away and I didn’t turn around to look at Sean
standing on the sidewalk, watching me disappear from his life
forever. I didn’t have to see him to know how much pain he was in.
He was standing on the corner, crying in front of the entire city,
and he didn’t care at all. I wanted to be with Sean forever, but I
couldn’t forgive him for what he did. It was time to move
on.

When I was finally on the plane, I
called Ryan and told him I was coming home. He seemed excited by
the news, and I knew he was happy that he and Janice had worked
things out. I was happy for my brother. Ryan deserved to have
someone that made him smile.

I looked out the window as the plane
took off and could see the buildings of Manhattan in the distance.
Hopefully, Sean made it to work on time. Otherwise, he wouldn’t
have a job. I was glad that Sean was back on his feet. My tears
stopped falling when the city was absent from view, and I knew the
hardest part was over. I decided to never think about Sean again.
While it was a cold attitude, I knew there was no other way for me
to get through the pain. Sean and I were over forever—I had to move
on.

Cortland was waiting at the gate when
I arrived, and I ran into his arms as soon as I saw him. He held me
for a moment before he pulled away. “Are you alright?” he asked. I
nodded, but didn’t say anything. Cortland grabbed my bag from the
floor and placed it over his shoulder. We walked to his car in the
parking lot, and he helped me get inside. “I’m glad you are home,”
he said. “I was tired of drinking mega-shakes by
myself.”

“
You went without me?” I
smiled.

“
I’m sorry,” he said. “I
just couldn’t wait.” He reached over and held my hand while he
drove back to the apartment Ryan and I shared. “Perhaps you should
get it out now while we are alone. I’m assuming you are going to
act like everything is okay even though you are absolutely
miserable.”

“
There is nothing to say,
really,” I whispered. “Nothing has changed.”

“
So, Sean is history?” he
asked. “It’s over—he’s done.”

I nodded. “I’m moving on.”

Cortland sighed. “I’m here for
you.”

“
I know.”

“
So, I guess I should warn
you before you get home.”

“
What do you
mean?”

“
Well, Janice already
moved here,” he said. “And her crap is taking up the whole
apartment. I’m even storing some of her stuff at my place. That
girl has a lot of shit.”

I laughed. “That’s fine,” I said. “I’m
happy that she’s there.”

“
You don’t think it’s too
soon?”

“
Yes, it is too soon, but
I think it works for them. Ryan has never been traditional, and
I’ve never seen Janice so strung on someone. I think the risk is
worth it.”

Cortland pulled up to the sidewalk and
we got out of the car. Cortland carried my bag up the stairs and to
the apartment. I inserted my key in the lock but Ryan opened the
door before I could I turn the handle. He stared at me for a
moment, gazing at my saddened features and empty eyes, then he
hugged me, holding me for a long time.

“
Are you okay?” he
whispered.

I forced myself to smile at him. “I’ll
be fine,” I said as I pulled away. Cortland and I walked into the
apartment and Janice screamed when she saw me. She wrapped me in
her embrace and hugged me tightly.

“
I’m so glad you are
back.”

“
Me too.” I
smiled.

“
Is it okay if I live with
you?” she asked hesitantly. “Ryan said you wouldn’t
mind.”

“
And he’s right,” I
assured her. “We both want you here.”

Janice smiled at me. “Are you
okay?”

“
I’m fine,” I said
quickly. “Please don’t worry about me.”

“
So, what was wrong with
Sean?” Ryan asked. “You were with him for five days.”

I sighed. “He just—lost his
way.”

“
What does that mean?”
Cortland asked.

“
He started abusing
prescription drugs and alcohol, and stopped showing up to work. He
was so passed out when I got there that I couldn’t wake him up.
Sean was—low.”

Ryan nodded. “How is he
now?”

“
Good,” I said. “He’s back
to work and back on his feet.”

“
It’s a good thing you
were there for him,” Ryan said.

“
I know.”

I looked around the apartment and saw
all the boxes of Janice’s belongings. “What happened to your two
weeks’ notice?”

Janice laughed. “R and R is under
investigation, so I just decided to leave. Besides, I hated being
away from Ryan. He practically forced me to come.”

“
I can believe that.” I
smiled.

Cortland walked down the hallway and
placed my bag in my room. “I should get going,” he said. He turned
to me. “Let me know if you need anything, Scar. If these two annoy
you too much, my apartment is always open to you—even if you just
want to watch television.”

I hugged him. “Thanks.”

Cortland left and I went into the
kitchen to find something to eat. I made a sandwich from the deli
meat in the refrigerator then ate it at the table. My body was
exhausted but I didn’t feel tired. All I felt was depression.
Janice came into the living room wearing one of Ryan’s shirts and
shorts, lounging around the house. She sat on the couch and patted
the seat next to her. I walked in and sat beside her.

“
What happened?” she
asked.

I shrugged my shoulders. “I helped
Sean get back on his feet,” I said. “That’s about it.”

“
I can’t believe he did
all that—he must have hit rock bottom.”

“
Yes, I think he
did.”

“
Are you going to try to
work it out with him?”

“
No,” I said
quickly.

Janice sighed. “I think you did the
right thing by going back to him, Scarlet. Imagine what would have
happened if you just abandoned him. He might even be dead at this
point.”

I shook my head. “Please don’t say
that.”

“
I know that I have no
right to interfere with you and Sean, but I think you should give
him another chance.”

“
You’ve got to be kidding
me.”

“
No,” Janice said quietly.
“What he did to you was wrong, but he thought he was making the
right decision for his child. He wouldn’t have left you if Penelope
wasn’t pregnant—that was the only reason he went to
her.”

“
Sean said the same thing,
but I guess we’ll never know.”

“
Ryan believes
him.”

“
Ryan doesn’t know what
he’s saying.”

“
Scarlet, Ryan told me how
happy you were with him. Just think about giving it another chance.
Sean was never this depressed when Penelope left him—he only feels
this way because he lost you. It’s obvious that he loves you in a
way that he never loved Penelope.”

“
Please drop it,
Janice.”

“
I can’t,” she said. “I
don’t want you to regret this.”

“
I’m tired of being second
best. I want to be with someone that won’t screw me over all the
time.”

Janice sighed. “This was just bad
timing. Sean was in a breakup when you slept together. Then, you
jumped into a relationship with him right after that. Sean wanted
to take it slow, but you were the one who rushed him into it. I
know if you gave him a real chance, he would treat you the way you
deserve.”

“
Now I’m starting to hate
the fact that you’re dating my brother,” I snapped. “He can’t keep
his mouth closed.”

“
Sean treated Penelope
like a goddess,” she said. “He isn’t a cheat and he isn’t a liar—he
can give you what you want. Just give him one more chance—just one,
Scarlet.”

Ryan’s footsteps echoed down the
hallway, and he looked at us when he came around the corner.
“Coming, babe?” he asked her.

“
I’ll be there in a
minute.” She smiled.

I jumped from my seat. “We are done
here,” I said as I walked away. I went into my bedroom and locked
the door behind me, falling on my bed like I was paralyzed.
Everyone wanted to discuss Sean and that was the last thing I
wanted—I just wanted to forget about him.

19

“
What is the big deal
about this place?” she asked when we took our seats at Mega-Shake.
The restaurant was quiet with hushed voices from the few people who
were in the joint. Ryan brought our milkshakes from the counter and
passed them around. He wrapped his arm around Janice and kissed her
cheek before he started to drink his milkshake. The sight made me
want to gag.

“
Try the shake and you’ll
see what I mean,” I said.

Cortland drank half of his in one
gulp. He sat beside me and I could feel his elbow touching my arm,
constantly reminding me that he was always there.

Janice took a sip then tasted it for a
moment. “Well, it’s pretty good.”

“
Pretty
good
?” Ryan said sarcastically. “Try best
thing in the entire world.”

“
I thought I was?” Janice
smiled.

Ryan thought for a moment. “Okay, the
second best thing in the world.”

“
That sounds better,”
Janice said.

I was happy for my brother, but at the
same time, it was hard to see them together. Everything reminded me
of Sean, and it made my head want to explode. Ryan caught my
saddened expression.

“
How are you doing?” he
asked with a sad voice.

Every time people asked me that, it
made me angry. I saw the pity in their eyes and heard the sadness
in their voice and it just irritated me. I was never going to get
better unless people started treating me like I was better. “Stop
asking me that—you’re annoying me.”

“
Well, how are you?” Ryan
asked.

“
I’m fine—drop
it.”

“
Have you talked to him?”
my brother asked.

“
Stop talking about him,”
I snapped. “Don’t mention him anymore.”

“
So no,” he said
sarcastically. “You aren’t okay.”

“
Fuck you,
Ryan.”

Ryan dropped his arm from around
Janice’s shoulder and leaned closer to me. “Scarlet, I’m just
worried about you—that’s all.”

“
Well, don’t
be.”

He stared at me for a moment then ran
his hands through his hair. I could tell he was thinking about
something. “I think you should try to work this out with
Sean.”

“
You are on team Sean,
too?”

“
Is there another team to
root for?” he asked sarcastically. “I think this whole fiasco was
just bad timing. Sean was wrong and I agree with that, but I also
think that he’s a good guy and deserves another chance. If I didn’t
know how in love with him you were, I probably wouldn’t say
anything, but I know that you want him. Just give him one more
chance, Scarlet.”

“
So much for being a
protective brother,” I snapped.

“
I
am
protecting you,” he said. “Just
think about it, Scar. Sean went all the way to your office and beat
the shit out of your boss. Maybe it hasn’t always been clear that
he loves you with the Penelope issue, but I know he does. Give it
another chance—a real one. And
not
when he just got out of a relationship,
not
when he’s living
across the country, and
not
when some woman is having his child—but a
real
chance. You have
been through so much together and now you are finally on the other
side—just be happy.”

“
This conversation is
over,” I said. “Please don’t bring it up again.”

Ryan stared at me then leaned back in
his chair. It was awkward for a moment, and none of us said
anything for a long time. Janice looked down at her hands and
Cortland scratched the Styrofoam on his cup. Ryan looked out the
window and avoided my gaze. Janice rose from her seat.

“
I’m going to the
restroom,” she said as she walked away.

When she was out of earshot, Cortland
leaned forward. “How is it going with her?” he asked.

“
It’s great.” Ryan smiled.
“I’ve never been happier.”

“
It doesn’t bother you
that she’s living with you already?”

“
No,” he said. “I was
worried that it might be weird, but I love having her around. I
think this is the real thing—at least I hope it is.”

“
How’s the
sex?”