Forever and Always (17 page)

Janice was quiet for a moment,
thinking to herself. She said nothing for a while and I could hear
her bite her nails over the phone. “Yes.”

I smiled. “You mean that?”

“
I know this is crazy, but
yes, I would. Besides, there is nothing for me in the city. My best
friend lives in Seattle.”

“
So, you are willing to do
this?”

“
I sound like a crazy
person.” She laughed.

“
I have to tell you
something, Janice. Now that you have agreed to move to Seattle, I
would like to offer you a job. I own my own editing company and
it’s been doing really well. You can edit your manuscript on your
own time and it pays good money. The position is yours if you want
it.”

Janice screamed. “Why didn’t you tell
me?”

“
I wanted to make sure you
were moving for Ryan—not because of the job.”

“
This is amazing, Scarlet.
I hate working for someone else.”

“
Well, technically you are
working for me.”

“
You know what I
mean.”

“
You are officially hired,
Janice.”

She screamed again. “I’ll put in my
two weeks tomorrow and start packing right away.”

“
You know what you should
do first?”

“
What?” she
asked.

“
Tell Ryan.”

I could hear the smile in her voice.
“He’s going to be so happy.”

“
I know.”

I heard her bedroom door open as she
walked into the other room. She handed the phone to
Ryan.

“
Hey,” he said. “How’d it
go?”

“
I’ll let Janice tell
you,” I said. “I just wanted to let you know I’m not flying home
with you. I’m staying in New York until Sean is back on his feet.
His laptop is here so I can keep working—don’t worry about the
money.”

“
Let me know when you’re
coming home.”

“
I will.”

“
And Scarlet?” he
said.

“
What?”

“
I love you.” The sound of
happiness in his voice was evident. I imagined Janice standing in
front of him, smiling at him while he talked on the phone. The look
was all he needed. He knew Janice was moving.

“
I love you,
too.”

I hung up the phone and put it on the
nightstand. Sean released his hold on me long enough for me to roll
over and come back.

“
What was that about?” he
asked.

“
Well, a lot of things
have happened.”

“
Tell me.”

“
Ryan, Cortland, Janice,
and I caught my boss sexually harassing Janice on tape, and we
released it on the server at work. Janice and Ryan are together now
and she is moving to Seattle to be with him.”

Sean stared at me, taking in all the
information slowly. “That’s great,” he said. “I’m happy for
Ryan.”

“
Janice told me what you
did, Sean.”

He dropped his gaze and avoided my
look.

“
I’m not mad at
you.”

He sighed. “I thought you would be
furious with me.”

“
I just can’t believe you
did that.”

“
I would do anything for
you, Scarlet. Just knowing that guy touched you made me snap. I
can’t even remember beating him. All I recall is the rage that was
coursing through me.”

“
He was in a coma for
three days.”

“
Good,” he whispered. “And
I’m glad that you brought him down Scarlet—I’m proud of
you.”

“
I am too.”

“
If that guy ever comes
near you, I’ll kill him.”

“
Since I’ll be living in
Seattle, I don’t think that’s likely.”

Sean nodded, but didn’t say anything.
He returned his face to my neck and closed his eyes, sighing
deeply. “Will you be here when I wake up?”

“
I might be cooking
breakfast.”

“
Please don’t,” he said.
“I need to see you when I wake up. That’s always the hardest
part.”

I felt the tears fall from my eyes at
his words. Knowing he was in so much pain killed me. I would take
it all away if I could. “Okay.” I closed my eyes and fell asleep in
Sean’s arms, feeling his heart slow in his chest until he finally
fell asleep.

16

When I woke up the next morning, I
didn’t move. Sean said he wanted to see me when he woke up, so I
didn’t leave the bed. Patiently, I waited for him to wake up and
see me lying in his arms, exactly where he left me the night
before.

Finally, Sean opened his eyes and
looked at me. He sighed deeply when he met my gaze then he pulled
me closer to him. “I’m so glad that you’re here.”

“
Me too,” I
said.

Sean had beads of sweat on his
forehead and he felt warm. He had been sweating all night. It must
be a side effect from all the booze he drank and the pills he
swallowed. When Sean was indisposed, I threw everything away,
making sure he wouldn’t do that to himself again.

“
Do you have a special
request for breakfast?” I smiled.

“
I’ll eat anything,” he
said.

I got up from the bed and walked over
to his side. “Get ready while I make breakfast.”

“
For what?” he
asked.

“
For basic hygiene
purposes.” I laughed.

“
I’ve been really
disgusting this past week.” He smiled.

“
I know,” I said. “I
cleaned your room.”

“
I’m so embarrassed.” He
sighed.

“
It’s okay,” I said. “I
ate a hotdog off the ground.”

Sean started laughing and I loved the
sound. I hoped that he was starting to feel better. He had improved
dramatically in just one day. A good night’s rest and a healthy
meal had helped him immensely. Sean moved to the edge of the bed
and placed both feet on the floor. He helped himself get up and he
stood still for a moment, keeping his balance before he took a step
forward. I held his arm as he walked into the bathroom. He made it
to the sink without much assistance.

“
I think I’m okay,” he
said as he leaned over the sink.

I rubbed his back as he looked at
himself in the mirror. “Are you sure?”

He nodded.

“
I’m going to cook
breakfast,” I said. “Let me know if you need anything.”

“
I will.” I shut the
bathroom door behind me and started cooking in the kitchen.
Penelope was sleeping on the couch, but I made no effort to be
quiet while I turned on the water or cooked over the stove. I
placed the pancakes, bacon, and eggs on the plate and carried a
glass of orange juice into the bedroom. I left and returned with my
own plate and placed it on the bed. Sean was still in the bathroom
with the door closed.

“
Are you okay?” I asked as
I knocked lightly.

“
Yes,” he said quietly. I
heard him gag and knew he was vomiting. When I opened the door, he
was leaning over the toilet seat with his head in his hands,
breathing deeply with his eyes closed. I kneeled behind him and
rubbed his back while he finished emptying his stomach. Finally, he
stopped and flushed the bowl. Sean wiped his face with the towel
that I held in my hands, and I helped him to his feet. He washed
his face and rinsed out his mouth with mouthwash.

“
Do you feel better?” I
asked as I rubbed his back.

“
Yes,” he said with nod.
“I always feel better after I throw up.”

Sean dried his face and walked back
into the bedroom. He didn’t need my help as he sat on the bed and
leaned against the headboard. He stared at the food on the
plates.

“
It’s okay if you aren’t
hungry,” I said.

Sean pulled the plate to him. “I’m
starving,” he said. “Thank you.”

He started shoveling the food into his
mouth. I was surprised that he had an appetite until I realized
that he probably threw up often because of the alcohol in his
system. Hopefully, that was the last time he would need to vomit.
Sean finished his plate and drank his glass of juice.

“
Thank you for cooking for
me,” he said.

I nodded as I took our plates to the
sink in the kitchen. When I came back into the room, Sean was still
sitting on the bed.

“
Let’s go to the park,” I
said. “I think you need to get out of this apartment.”

“
I don’t think I can
handle a lot of walking or running.”

“
We can just sit on a
blanket in the shade,” I said. “But if you’re too weak, that’s
fine.”

Sean was quiet for a moment. “I can
handle that.”

“
Okay,” I said as I
grabbed an extra blanket from the cabinet and placed it on the bed.
Sean changed into jeans and a shirt while I wore the outfit I had
on the day before. We slowly made our way to the park down the
street and eventually found a vacant spot in the shade of a tree.
Sean and I sat down after I laid out the blanket on the grass.
There was a father and son playing baseball a few feet away, and we
watched them for a while. Sean was very quiet, and I was afraid
that he wasn’t feeling well.

“
Are you doing okay?” I
asked.

“
Yes,” he said. “I’m just
not used to being outside.”

Sean moved closer to me and held my
hand in his. I felt him caress my fingers with his own while we
stared at the joggers who ran down the path with their dogs on
leashes. We said nothing for a long time.

“
When are you leaving?” he
asked.

“
When I think you’re
ready.”

“
Well, you should set a
time frame because I’m never going to be ready for you to leave,
Scar.” He didn’t drop my hand while he sat under the shade of the
tree.

“
You’re going to be
okay.”

Sean shook his head and said
nothing.

“
Why did you do it,
Sean?”

He understood my meaning. “I didn’t
care anymore. I lost everything and I had nothing to live for. It
made no difference if I lived or died.”

“
Just because Penelope
betrayed you?” I asked. “Penelope already hurt you once. How could
she do it again?”

“
It wasn’t because of
Penelope.” He sighed. “It’s because of you. You are the greatest
thing that ever happened to me and I messed it up. I made a
mistake. Without you, I have no purpose—no reason to go
on.”

“
Please don’t say
that.”

“
Okay,” he said. Sean
dropped the conversation and said nothing for a few moments. He
finally looked at me. “I’m not saying this because I’m trying to
win you over—I know you will never take me back—but so you know the
truth. As soon as I got back to the city, I regretted the choice I
made. I thought I made the right decision for my child—having a
complete family. With you, I was happy and complete—with her, I was
empty. I realized that you are the love of my life, Scar. I thought
it was her, but I was wrong—it’s you.”

“
You were never over her,”
I said.

Sean sighed. “No, I wasn’t,” he said.
“But that doesn’t mean I didn’t want to be. I can honestly say I
have no such feelings anymore.”

“
You chose her over me,
Sean—that’s what it comes down to. Instead of being a father in the
kid’s life, you chose to be her husband and a father. You never had
to be. That was something you wanted for yourself.”

“
You really don’t
understand where I am coming from?” he asked incredulously. “That
my actions were for my kid only? It had nothing to do with
Penelope. I didn’t even want her, Scar.”

“
Yes,” I said. “But it
doesn’t change or justify what you did. I even told you I had no
problem with being a stepmother—I would love your kid like it was
my own. You still chose her, Sean.” I felt the tears bubble under
my eyes and stream down my face. Sean released my hand and wrapped
his arms around me, letting me cry into his shoulder. “I can
forgive you for what you did, but I’ll never forgive you for
throwing us away. I’ve never been happier in my whole life than
when I was with you, Sean—never.”

Sean started to cry and I felt his
tears drip down my neck. “I know,” he whispered. “I made the
biggest mistake of my life.”

I pulled away from him and wiped my
tears away. “I don’t want to talk about this ever
again.”

Sean sighed. “Does this mean I never
have a chance with you?” he asked. “We could start over and take it
slow. I know you understand how much I love you, Scarlet. It was
obvious every moment we were together.”

“
But not when we were
apart,” I said. “You cheated on me.”

Sean stared at me. “I never did
anything with Penelope before I ended things with you,” he said.
“I’ve never lied to you and I’m not now.”

“
No,” I said.

“
What does that
mean?”

“
We are over
Sean—done.”