Forever and Always (8 page)

Against my better judgment, I unlocked
the bolt and opened the door.

Her brown locks curved around her face
and complemented her features perfectly. The green eyes that I
adored stared at me, and the light of the hallway glinted in her
irises, making them appear to be on fire. My heart was beating so
fast I thought I would fall over and die right then and there.
There was no reason I could think of that she would come to me. I
glanced to her ring finger and noticed that she wasn’t wearing an
engagement ring. I assumed that she wouldn’t have left me for
someone unless she was tying the knot. She didn’t say anything and
I remained silent, waiting for her to speak first. Honestly, I
wouldn’t have known what to say anyway.

“
Hey,” she said as she
tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. After everything she did to
me, I still thought she was beautiful and I hated it. Her flawless
skin was enough of a distraction from my logical thought. The
uncontrollable reaction she inflicted in me was making me furious.
I hated being under this girl’s spell.

“
What do you want?” I
asked bluntly. She flinched at the venom in my voice, but I didn’t
care. That bitch broke my heart and wasted my commitment. I could
have been with Scarlet the whole time. The thought of Penelope and
her new boyfriend rekindled the anger inside of me. “You must have
me confused with your current boyfriend,” I snapped. “I’m the guy
you dumped. Remember?”

Penelope stared at me for a moment.
“Can I talk to you, Sean?”

“
What are we doing
now?”

She sighed. “Can I come
in?”

“
No.” I started to close
the door, but she held it open.

“
Please?” she
asked.

The look in her eyes made me release
my hold on the door. No matter what she did to me, I still couldn’t
just push her out of my apartment. I pushed the door open and let
her walk in. The door slammed behind her.

“
To what do I owe the
pleasure?” I said sarcastically.

“
I know you’re mad, Sean,
and you have every right to be. I’m not here to dissuade your
anger.”

“
Then what the fuck do you
want?” I snapped. “I’m with Scarlet now and I love her. You don’t
need to pity me, Penelope. I’ve moved on.”

“
You’re dating Scarlet?”
she asked sadly.

The sadness in her voice made me
happy. I hoped she was jealous. “Yes,” I said. “And I love
her.”

Penelope looked down. “Sean, I need to
tell you something,” she whispered. “I made a mistake when I left
you and I regret it. I was hoping that we could talk things
out.”

“
Is this a joke?” I
snapped. “I don’t want you, Penelope.”

“
Sean, listen to
me.”

“
No,” I said. “I’m done
with you. Get out of my apartment and my life.”

“
Sean,” she said as she
grabbed my arms. I didn’t pull away and I hated myself for it. “I’m
pregnant.”

My body remained immobile
at her words. Of all the things I thought she was going to say,
that was what I least expected. “You are
pregnant
?”

She nodded. “And it’s yours,
Sean.”

I shook my head, battling the
confusion raging in my mind. “How can I be sure of
that?”

Penelope sighed. “When I went to the
doctor, he said I was four weeks along,” she said. “You are the
only person I slept with at that time. When my boyfriend found out
it wasn’t his, he didn’t want to be with me anymore.”

I started pacing the apartment,
processing everything she just said. Penelope was pregnant with my
kid. I was going to be a fucking dad. My body continued to pace
around the living room as my mind went somewhere else. Penelope
watched me move, but didn’t say anything.

“
I’m sorry,” she said. “I
didn’t know you were dating Scarlet.”

I didn’t respond to her words as I
continued to walk.

“
Please say something,”
she said.

“
What am I supposed to
say?”

“
Do you want to be
involved?” she asked. “I understand if you don’t. And if you do
want to be involved, but not be in a relationship, that’s fine as
well. But I’ve realized how wrong I was and that I made a mistake.
We were getting really serious and I got cold feet, running to the
first guy that would have me. I love you, Sean, and I’m so sorry
about what I did to you. Please take me back.”

“
I can’t,” I said. “I have
Scarlet.”

Penelope sighed. “I know and I feel
terrible about that,” she said. “But you and I are going to have a
baby, Sean. Shouldn’t we try to be a family?”

I stared at her for a moment while
thoughts flashed across my mind. Marrying Penelope was exactly what
I wanted; having her carry my child was even better. This wasn’t
the way I wanted it to play out, but perhaps that’s where I was
meant to be. Maybe it was a sign. Penelope was carrying my child
and wanted to work on our relationship. She said she was sorry for
everything. But then I thought of Scarlet and everything I had with
her. She was everything to me. I couldn’t live without her. I still
loved Penelope, but I loved Scarlet more. I never wanted to be the
dad that was separated from the mother, but I couldn’t do that to
Scarlet. I couldn’t leave her.

“
I can’t trust you,
Penelope.”

She grabbed my hand. “I know,” she
said. “But I’ll spend my life making it up to you.” Her eyes
started to saturate with tears and drip down her face. “I wish I
could take it back, but I can’t, Sean, and I’m sorry. I regret
everything. Please give me another chance. I promise you won’t
regret it.” The tears streamed down her face and I watched them
fall. Even after everything that she did to me, I still hated
seeing her in pain. “I love you, Sean. I’ve always loved
you.”

As I listened to her words, I imagined
the life I always wanted. It wasn’t perfect and the way we came to
this situation was painful, but we were still there. I still cared
for Penelope, but I wanted Scarlet. But then my future son or
daughter was in my life. Could I really do that to them? Be married
to another woman and have other kids? I would never want my child
to experience that. It would make me a horrible person. Shouldn’t I
try to make this work for my kid? I hated everything about the
situation. I wanted to die because of what I was about to do to
Scarlet. I wanted to fucking die. I met her gaze and watched her
for a moment. “I love you too,” I whispered.

She kissed my hand and held it in her
own. “Thank you,” she said. Penelope wrapped her arms around me and
I held her. My heart ached for the woman that I loved. Seeing her
shed those tears for me was a declaration of her love and remorse.
If Penelope wasn’t carrying my child, I would have turned her away,
but since she was, I wanted to give the relationship another
chance. Of course I wanted to be in the child’s life—that was
obvious, but I would rather do that as Penelope’s husband than her
boyfriend. It isn’t exactly what I wanted, but I was stuck. I was
going to be a dad.

My thoughts of Scarlet pained me. I
knew how much this would hurt her, but a part of me knew she would
understand, knowing that the pregnancy changed everything. I loved
Scarlet, I really did, and I felt my heart ache because I wouldn’t
be spending my life with her. She was everything to me, and now I
would lose her forever. She wouldn’t want to be friends with
me—maybe never speak to me again—but she would
understand.

Penelope pulled away and spotted the
engagement box sitting on the kitchen table. She was still for a
moment then she grabbed it. Her eyes lit up when she saw the ring
inside. She must have spotted the engraving because she knew it was
hers. “It’s beautiful, Sean.” Tears sprung from her eyes. She put
the ring on her finger. I didn’t even ask her. But the sight made
me happy. She was serious about raising this kid with me—as a
family. I wanted the best for my child—nothing less. He would have
family vacations, ball games in the park, and a father to look up
to, someone who sacrificed the love of his life just to be perfect
for him.

Penelope reached up to kiss me, but I
pulled away. “I’m still with Scarlet,” I said. “I’m committing to
you for the rest of my life, but I’m with Scarlet until I end it.
Nothing can happen until I talk to her.”

Penelope nodded. “I understand,” she
said as she hugged me. “I love you, Sean, and I’m so
sorry.”

I returned her embrace. “I love you
too,” I said. “And I’m very excited about the baby.”

“
You are?” she asked as
she pulled away, a look of surprise on her beautiful
face.

“
Of course,” I said. “Why
wouldn’t I be?” I placed my hand over her slightly distended
stomach. “I got a fiancé and a baby today.”

Penelope smiled then tears fell from
her eyes as she looked at me. I understood why she was so
emotional. I just took her back to be a father to her child. I
sacrificed my relationship with Scarlet, even though I didn’t want
to, just to commit to our unborn baby. The baby was mine. It was my
responsibility. I was forgiving her for everything and we were
moving forward as a family. “I don’t deserve you, Sean,” she
whispered.

I kissed her head, but said nothing. I
knew she didn’t deserve me, but that didn’t matter anymore. The
only thing that mattered was our child.

7

Scarlet

“
When is Sean going to be
here?” Ryan asked. He watched me check my hair in the mirror and
make sure my makeup was perfect. “You look fine, Scar. It’s just
Sean.”

“
This is my boyfriend we
are talking about—not just
Sean
,” I said. “And he should be
here any minute.”

He rolled his eyes. “Do you want me
out of the apartment for the evening?” he asked.

“
No, of course not,” I
said quickly.

“
I just assumed you would
want to be alone.”

“
We do,” I said. “But not
all the time.”

“
Well, if you want me to
visit Cortland, let me know.”

“
That won’t be necessary.”
I laughed.

The knock on the door made me jump
with excitement. “I got it!”

Ryan didn’t move from the couch. “I
couldn’t care less,” he said sarcastically.

I opened the door and jumped into
Sean’s arms, almost knocking him down from the force of my jump. He
laughed as he staggered backwards. He dropped his bag on the ground
and I started kissing him, pushing him against the wall as I
grabbed his face and kissed him like it was the last
time.

Sean moaned as he kissed me and I ran
my hands over his body. When we finally broke our embrace, he was
smiling at me. “Are you happy to see me?”

“
Is it obvious?” I asked.
“I was trying to play it cool.”

“
You never play it
cool.”

“
No, I don’t.” I grabbed
his face and kissed him again and we made out in the hallway for a
few minutes. Sean pulled away from me and rested his head against
mine. He was having a moment and I let him take it. I knew how much
he missed me over the past five days.

“
Is Ryan here?” he
asked.

“
Yes, unfortunately.” I
sighed. “But we are doing it anyway.”

Sean smiled with his lips, but not his
eyes. “I love you so much,” he whispered. I saw the tears behind
his eyes and I hugged him tightly. He wasn’t this emotional when he
left Seattle, but now he seemed to be overcome. Sean held me to his
chest tightly and didn’t let go for a long time.

I pulled away. “Let’s get your stuff
inside.” I grabbed the one bag he had and it was practically empty.
He didn’t pack much. Sean grabbed the bag and placed it over his
shoulder, following me inside. Sean moved to the living room and
shook hands with Ryan. They started whispering about something but
I couldn’t make it out.

“
So, what are you guys
doing tonight?” Ryan asked.

“
I don’t know,” I said as
I wrapped my arms around Sean’s neck. “But I don’t really
care.”

Sean rubbed his nose against mine and
I immediately wanted to go in the bedroom. Ryan rose from the couch
and grabbed his jacket from the coat rack. “I’ll be at Cortland’s,”
he said as he walked away. “Get this shit taken care of before I
get back.”

My lips were on Sean’s and I was
pulling him to the bedroom, wanting to be with him as soon as
possible. Sean remained stationary as I tugged on his arm. The
forlorn expression on Sean’s face suddenly became apparent now that
Ryan was gone. “What’s wrong?”

Sean sighed as he took a seat on the
couch. I sat beside him. Sean stared at me for a moment and I saw
his eyes become coated with tears. Whatever had made Sean so upset
was starting to frighten me. I didn’t know what he was going to
say.

He grabbed my face and kissed me
gently. “I want you to know that I love you very much, Scarlet, and
there is nothing I wouldn’t do for you. You are everything to me—I
mean it.” He kissed me again and pulled away.