Forgiving Nancy (Last Hangman MC Series Book 5) (28 page)

“Yes, who else do you think did?” He chuckles, wrapping his arms around me from behind. “Happy Birthday Sweet Cheeks,” he whispers in my ear and places a small kiss behind it, causing me to shiver.

“Thank you, you have no idea how much this means to me,” I whisper back, not wanting to end the moment. He will never know how much this all means to me.

“I think I do.” He turns me around and looks into my eyes. “You mean the world to me Sweet Cheeks, as long as you are happy that’s all that matters to me.” He brushes his lips on the corner of my mouth. I let out a shaky breath. I’m totally speechless.

It takes me a moment to get my voice back. This man is out to kill me I swear! “Come on, let’s open your gifts.” He tugs me gently and helps me down on the blanket.

“What is it?” I giggle excited.

“You have zero patience.” He chuckles.

“Well what can I say, you give good gifts. There’s not a single one that I haven’t loved the shit out of.”

“Ah you just say that.” He shrugs softly but I know that he loves seeing me open his gifts. He always looks at me intently, wanting to catch that glimpse of pure happiness when I find out what he gave me. I noticed it a couple of years ago and now I always make sure I catch a glimpse of his face when I open my presents. He really does give the best presents and not just to me. He is always so thoughtful.

“We both know that’s not true.” I stick my tongue out.

“Whatever.” He chuckles and hands me the two big packages. “Come on, open them up.”

I start opening the first one and smile wide when I see a pair of biker boots that I’d been eying for a long time but were totally out of my price range.

“Oh my God you didn’t!” I squeal and tackle him to the ground hugging him and kissing his cheek over and over. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“You’re welcome Sweet Cheeks.” He grins chuckling. “I saw you trying to will them to magically appear on your feet at the store a couple of months ago.”

“You know me too well.” I giggle sitting up to try them on. “They look amazing!”

“They do.” He winks at me. “Open the second one.” He bites his lip making my heart race. Seriously there’s nothing sexier than a hot badass biker acting cute to make your heart melt, and mine is currently in a puddle.

“Alright, alright, you’re spoiling me now!” I slowly open the second one and my jaw drops seeing a customized helmet. “It’s beautiful,” I whisper as I admire it, I can tell that he designed it himself, it has a sugar skull with roses on each side with butterflies flying from the roses and under the skull is with my nickname ’Sweet Cheeks’ in tattoo script. “I love it!” I look up at him, tears in my eyes. I can’t help it, I’m so touched by the gift.

“Awe, don’t cry Sweet Cheeks. I didn’t mean to make you cry, especially not on your birthday.” He wipes my tears and wraps his arms around me cuddling me to him.

“They’re happy tears. It’s beautiful Ant, thank you so much. Best birthday ever.” I sigh happily.

“Nah, the best one was probably your sixth birthday. Remember when your dad got that slip and slide and we ended up completely covered in mud by the end of the day. They had to hose us down before letting us inside the house,” he says very seriously and we both burst out laughing.

“You’re right, but this one is right behind that one.” I giggle and we start eating the food he got us from our favorite Chinese restaurant. “You know me so well.” I grin biting into a spring roll.

“That’s what happens when you spend every single day for the past eighteen years with the same person.” He smiles sweetly and brushes a strand of hair behind my ear. I can’t help leaning into his hand.

“True.” I nibble my lip and wipe off some sweet and sour sauce he has on the corner of his mouth and then lick my finger.

“You have no idea what you’re doing to me Sweet Cheeks,” he whispers, sighing softly rubbing his face.

“What do you mean?” I set down the food container and chopsticks.

“Nothing… I just…” He sighs, clearly frustrated by something. He gets up and walks closer to the lake. I follow him and press myself into his side.

“What’s wrong Ant?” He turns and looks down at me, stroking my cheek with the back of his knuckles.

“Nothing is wrong Sweet Cheeks.” He takes a deep breath, “I might be making the biggest mistake of my life right now and might lose you forever, but I just can’t keep it to myself anymore. I know we are young and have our entire life in front of us, but I know my feelings for you are real. I can’t help it. I know I’ve dated a couple of girls but they have meant nothing to me. You’ve always meant so much more to me than any of them, they didn’t compare to you but I couldn’t risk ruining our friendship Ayd and tell you how I really feel for you. You probably don’t feel for me the same way but I love you Ayden.” He looks into my eyes and I can see the sincerity in his and his voice. I’m shocked into silence, on the inside I’m doing cartwheels, I can’t believe what he has just admitted and I couldn’t be happier. “S-say something please,” he whispers.

“I love you too Ant. I always have. I was just so scared to tell you how I felt, afraid it would ruin our friendship too,” I whisper back. We both move at the same time, barely brushing each other’s lips at first, enjoying this moment,
our
moment, the beginning of us.

He cups my face gently in his warm hands, kissing me more firmly and passionately than before. In this moment, nothing else matters. It’s just us. My first kiss is with the only man I ever wanted and will ever want.

He slowly breaks the kiss, making me pout. He chuckles and rests his forehead on mine for a long time, looking into my eyes. We are in our happy place and no one can take this from us. He walks me back to the blanket, helps me lie on it and kisses me passionately again, stroking my hair.

“Never in a million years have I thought that you would feel the same way for me,” he whispers.

“Why not?” I look at him.

“Because I thought you saw me as your big brother. I never imagined you could love me the way I love you.”

“I thought you only saw me as your little sister.” I can’t help but giggle softly.

“Never. I wanted you all to myself since forever.” He grins wide.

“Fucker.” I kiss him softly. “You know I have zero experience compared to those girls you were dating right?” I nibble my lip.

“It doesn’t matter to me if you have zero experience. You are you, my Ayden. We’ll take our time okay? I won’t push you. When you’re ready, you make the decision and I’ll respect it, no matter how long it takes you,” he whispers against my lips. I nod. He slowly starts kissing me again and rolls us over so I’m lying on top of him. We stay like this, getting to each other’s bodies and just enjoying each other’s company for hours. No words need to be shared between us, we both know what we have is forever.

TEACHING ALECK (LAST HANGMAN MC #2)

Aleck

I’m not a good man. Not by a long shot. I’ve used women for sex for as long as I can remember. I’ve been trying to fill the hole in my heart that keeps getting bigger. I’m an asshole and I’m well aware of it. I’m a fuck ’em and leave ’em kind of guy and it won’t change anytime soon. I don’t promise them relationships, ever. I don’t do relationships. I did once, never again, it’s left me empty and damaged.

There’s one girl though. She owns my heart and doesn’t even know it.

Seeing me now, you would never guess I grew up in a rich, posh family. I’m part of a Motorcycle Club and covered in tattoos: my usual clothing attire consists of jeans, sneakers and whatever shirt I can find. The casual outfit from my previous life consisted of: chinos, a white button down shirt and stupid ass shoes, oh don’t forget the blazer. I hated every second of it. You might wonder why I never rebelled considering the position I’m in right now. I’ll tell you why. I was a normal kid, never getting into unnecessary trouble, studying in school and doing normal kids’ stuff but it all changed a couple of years ago.

Our parents have always been very cold towards my sister, Cassie, and I, which meant that our nanny had to basically raise us. Our parents didn’t even love each other. I found that out a couple of years ago. Things weren’t perfect between them, but I had no idea of the extent of the mess that was going on behind closed doors.

We rarely ate or spent any time with them. They would always be out at some sort of party for whatever country club they were a part of. It sucked to grow up in such a cold environment when all you wanted was the love of your parents.

Anthony is the only one who knows my full story, well, it’s not like I had much choice in keeping it from him. Our first meeting was heated to say the least.

July 10th, 2007

I can’t believe my parents didn’t even bother calling for my birthday. I wasn’t exactly expecting much out of them, but fuck, a phone call isn’t that hard. I turned 20 today and I’m spending my birthday on my own. It’s the first I’m spending without Cassie, and fuck, it hurts.

She left us a couple of months ago and it’s not getting any easier, in fact, it’s getting worse each day.

I drive to the cemetery where she is hopefully resting in peace now; a bouquet of lilies, her favorite flowers, rest on the seat next to me.

I park by the entrance and take a couple of deep breaths. It’s fucking heartbreaking coming here every week knowing I’ll never see her ever again. I always hope I’ll wake up from this nightmare, but the minute I wake up, I realize that she’s gone forever. Every time I come here, I’m reminded of the harsh reality and how fucked up my life is. Selfish you say? Yes, I’m very selfish. Cassie was the only person who kept me sane, the only one who loved me. Now, I have no one so I have to be a fucking selfish jerk to protect myself.

I take the flowers and get out of the car, and make my way to my sister’s grave.

As usual, only the bouquet of lilies I left last week gives life to her tombstone.

I replace the withered flowers with the new ones, making sure I position them exactly how she used to, all facing the same way. She loved her flowers. Her garden was her pride and joy.

“I miss you Cas.” I whisper kneeling down, brushing my fingers over her name.

Cassie Alexandria Sanford October 7, 1982 - November 15, 2006.

“I wish you were still here with us. With me.” I sigh. “I’m 20 today. It’s weird not celebrating it with you, it’s the first, and fuck, it’s hard.
They
didn’t call, not that I was expecting them to but, still, with all that has happened, it would have been nice. I don’t know why I’m still hoping for
them
to change. I guess I just wanted to fix our family and make things better for all of us, for them to pay attention to what they always neglected. They had two amazing kids and they threw it all away. They aren’t worth me getting myself worked up anymore. Here’s some good-ish news; I finally got an apprenticeship today. I’ll work in a law firm for a couple of months, hopefully it’ll go well and they will offer me a permanent position. I don’t see the point of going through it all, but I have to somehow live my life without you being here. You will always be in my heart and I know you are watching over me, but fuck me, I can’t cope. I’ve tried to pay attention in class and work hard, but I just can’t focus. All I think about is how lonely I am without you in my life, I have no one except a couple of guys I can hang out with from College, but it’s not the same. My life is empty.” I sigh and rub my face.

“I should get going. I will be back next week sis. I love you.” I kiss my fingers and press them over her name, a single tear falling. I walk back to the car, taking the withered flowers with me and throw them in a bin by the gates.

I can’t face going home right now, so I drive to a small bar where I know they’ll serve me. I’ve been coming here for a couple of years now. They don’t care if you are underage as long as you can pay and don’t get them into trouble with the cops.

The Chart Room is a dive bar. I hang out here with a couple of friends, well more like a couple of guys I’m used to drinking with. They are all members of the local motorcycle club called ’The Last Hangman’. Cabe is the President, Anthony the Vice President and Gabe a member. They seem to be decent guys and make for a great distraction, especially lately.

I used to come to the bar once in a while, just wanting a change of scenery and forget how shit my life turned out. Then I started to come every time I visited Cas. Now? It’s nearly a daily occurrence; my grades have been taking a nosedive these past couple of weeks but honestly? I just couldn’t care less anymore.

Mixing drinking with studies and work is not the best idea, but it’s the only way I can cope on a daily basis. Well, that and heroin. I’m able to just take the right amount to make me feel numb enough to make me forget and not go overboard, but it’s getting harder not to take it all, and end this nightmare.

I park in the Chart Room’s parking lot, and take out a small bag from my jeans pocket. Placing a small amount on the back of my hand, I snort it. It’s my second hit of the day, I usually only take one but today I need to take off the edge.

I feel the effects pretty fast, the rush, the liberation. I feel myself instantly relax, and fuck, does it feel good.

Cas would be disappointed in me, but I need this. I need it to get me through the day. I know it’s cowardly, but I don’t care. It’s the only thing keeping me alive at the moment, and ironically, it slowly destroys me a little bit more every time. I’m well aware of this, but cannot stop.

I collect my thoughts and get out of the car, remembering to lock it and walk towards the entrance of the bar, ready for a night of drinking.

The bar is pretty packed for a Tuesday. A lot of tables are occupied by large groups of younger people, probably celebrating the end of their College life. The rest of the crowd are regulars.

I spot Anthony at the bar with Gabe and join them.

“Hey man what’s up?” Anthony greets me with a man hug.

“Not much, you?” I tap his back and greet Gabe.

“I’m good, what’s up with the long face?”

“Rough day.” I shrug and order myself a whiskey that I down instantly and order a second.

“I can see that, usually you take your time with your drinks.” Anthony looks at me with what I think is a look of concern? I’m not sure.

“As I said, rough day.” I glare at him and take my time with my other glass.

“Ah, come on, it can’t be that bad.” Gabe probes.

“I really don’t want to talk about it.” I sigh and rub my face.

“You know you can talk to us, we’re your friends.” Anthony reassures me, well I had no idea we were, but thanks for letting me know.

“Look, I appreciate it, but I really don’t want to talk about it, I’d like to fucking have a drink and not talk for fuck’s sake.” I down the rest of my glass and order a third. They are getting on my fucking nerves. Usually, I can handle them, but not tonight. I need fucking peace and quiet. I should have just bought a bottle and drank it at home. At least, no one would have bothered me there.

“Easy, we just want to help you bro.”

“No one can help me,” I mutter more to myself, but I know he heard me.

“You don’t know that unless you talk about it.”

“Piss off! What part of I don’t want to talk about it and leave me alone do you not fucking understand?” I roar.

“Calm down bro.” He stands up straight, facing me off. We are both pigheaded and have tempers, which isn’t helping the situation. He might be younger than me, but he’s already taller and broader, and let’s face it, I’ve never been in any kind of fight besides the ones with my parents and those usually ended with them throwing more money at me to shut me up.

“I’ll calm down when you leave me the fuck alone and stop bugging me like a fucking woman!” I near scream at him ready to swing.

“Alright, I just wanted to help but if you just want to wallow in your self-pity and be a fucking Debbie Downer, be my guest.” He says casually, and I lose it. I down my third glass and take a swing at him, not missing, but not connecting as hard as I hoped for. The effects of the alcohol and the heroin combined are not helping my coordination.

Next thing I know, I feel a sharp pain in my jaw and lose balance, falling face first on the ground.

Everything is blurry and I can feel two strong arms lifting me up and dragging me out of the bar.

Maybe this is the answer to all my problems, let them hit and kick until my nightmare ends.

I let them drag me out and hold onto a nearby car, I turn myself to face them again.

“What the fuck is your problem?” A familiar voice bellows, but I can’t make out who it is, my vision is too blurry.

“You don’t want to know.” I chuckle darkly and wait for my vision to focus and take another swing at Anthony and this time it connects. Almost instantly he punches back, busting open my lip.

“We should stop them.” I hear Gabe say.

“No, let them work it out. Looks like he needs to let his anger out,” Cabe says as we continue to fight. He’s getting more hits in than I am, and I’m feeling it. The alcohol combined with the heroin should make me feel numb, but I can feel each blow shatter the last piece of me that is still standing.

I eventually stop fighting and wait for the final blow, but it never comes.

I fall to my knees, breathless, not having the strength to keep myself upright.

After what seems like forever, Anthony walks over to me and extends his hand. I look up and take it. He helps me up, but doesn’t let go of my hand.

“You might not think you need a friend to listen to why you are in such a state and letting whatever it is eat you up, but when you do, I’m here.” He nods at me once and lets go of my hand before walking to his bike and driving away.

I’m left standing by my car in the parking lot, confused and in pain, both physically and mentally.

I stare at the ground for long minutes and get in my car, driving home as safely as I can.