Forgiving Nancy (Last Hangman MC Series Book 5) (29 page)

After that night, I stopped doing drugs. I threw what I had left down the toilet and tried to get better. I was done feeling like shit. I needed to get my life back on track. If not for me, for Cas, I owed it to her.

It was difficult, but I knew I was heading down a really dangerous path if I didn’t change. The fight with Anthony made me realize how bad I had let things go.

Showing up to work the next day was fun, needless to say as soon as they saw my busted lip, black eye, bruises all over my face and plastered knuckles, I was fired from the firm before even officially starting. Weirdly, I was okay with it. I never thought I’d make a good lawyer. I never wanted it, but when it came to me picking a career path, my parents didn’t give me the choice, I had to bust my ass to do something I hated for two years.

I took a couple of days, shutting myself off from the world, to focus on myself and get in better shape.

Stopping heroin cold turkey wasn’t easy, but I managed. I also trashed my place in the process, but cleaning up the mess kept me busy.

It took me a couple more days after that to have the balls to call Anthony, but I did and spilled my guts to him, not once did he judge me. He listened to me and weirdly, it felt good to let it all out. It didn’t help with the pain of losing my sister, but it felt like a weight had been lifted and I wasn’t alone anymore. He promised he would never tell anyone and that whenever I needed a friend, I could call him.

It was hard at first, I’ve never had many friends and even then, I couldn’t really call them friends. I ended up calling him again a couple of days later and we started to hang out pretty frequently. He never usually brought me to the compound, but one day Cabe had apparently asked him to bring me there. I was scared shitless, to say the least. I finally had my shit together, I was clean, only drinking the occasional beer with Ant when we were hanging out, but never going overboard. I was in better shape, working out whenever I got the chance. Let’s just say, I didn’t want trouble with them.

I’ll always remember that day…

I follow Ant’s Harley in my truck to the compound. Everybody is staring at me as I walk with Ant inside.

I have no idea what to expect. I’ve never been in a compound. I don’t know how they will treat me or what will happen. I hate to admit it, but I’m shitting my pants.

Ant motions for me to walk in a room where the door is open and Cabe is sitting at the head of the table.

“Sit down son,” Cabe says. I can’t help the mixed feelings I get from him calling me son. I let it go and sit down. I start to get really nervous when Ant closes the door behind me with him still on the other side. Now, I’m not a pussy, but I’m not one to mess with bikers. Even if I tried to beat one up a couple of months ago…

“I don’t know what you’re going through, but obviously, it was bad enough for you to try to pick up a fight with one of us. I know you and Ant have been hanging out a lot, and patched things up.” I nod, not sure what to say to him. “Don’t be so nervous, nothing bad is going to happen.” He chuckles.

“Well, can’t blame me for being nervous.” I shrug and chuckle nervously.

“True, Ant talked a lot about you, didn’t share your story, but told me it was bad enough for you to put yourself in such a state. Are you clean now?”

“Yes, I am, haven’t touched drugs since that night. Can’t say the same for alcohol though.” I chuckle softly.

“Not blaming you there. As I was saying, I know you’ve been hanging out a lot with Ant and have been quite curious about the MC.” He looks at me very seriously.

“Ah, yes.” There’s something about Cabe, when he looks at you as seriously as he is looking at me right now, that turns your blood to ice.

“Why?”

I sigh and rub my face. “I don’t know how much Ant has told you, but I was brought up in a lifestyle 100% different from yours. No love, no real family but my sister. Sure, we had money, but it doesn’t bring you happiness. Can’t say I wasn’t jealous of the family he has, blood related or not. I wanted to know how the dynamic worked, and maybe how to become a member of said family. I know I’m nothing like your guys out there, but it was worth asking.” I hold his gaze, he knows I’m nervous, but I also want him to see how serious I am about this. Even if I now have my shit together, I could slip back into my old habits at any moment.

“We are indeed one big family, blood related or not, we care about our members and their friends. I’m not sure you would fit in with the lifestyle of the club but if you want to hang around and just spend time here and make friends, you can. Not sure how it would work out for you, but if you feel at home and enjoy it, we can consider making you a prospect.” I’m pretty sure I look totally stupid right at this moment or maybe like a kid who’s been promised the best present ever if he behaves. I stare at him in disbelief and excitement at the promise of maybe getting something that would look like a family.

“I…yes?”

Cabe chuckles. “Yes, you want to hang out with us?”

“Yes. Thank you, you have no idea how much this means to me.” I sigh feeling stupid at how I sound.

“Don’t worry son, you’re welcome here. Just a warning.” He pauses and I nod. “Betray us, you are dead and no one will ever find you.” The only thing I’m able to do is nod. “Good, let’s go drink now.” He gets up and walks out of the room, leaving me speechless at the table.

That day, I knew my life had just changed for the better, even if I wasn’t aware of it at the time.

I started to hang out at the compound more with Ant and Gabe. Not that I didn’t want to hang out with the other members, but they were the closest to me in age, so it made sense. It was always such an amazing feeling to be around those two when they were chilling, drinking, having parties at the compound or just talking to some of the older members, the stories these men share are bat shit crazy.

After a couple of months of hanging out at the club, all of the members agreed for me to become a prospect. Whilst daunting at first, some of those stories are fucking haunting, I started to feel like one of the guys. Finally, I felt like I was home and a part of a happy, albeit dysfunctional family, I still felt empty and cold without Cas, but I was slowly getting better. I wasn’t on my own anymore. They helped me through some dark times, and I will forever be grateful for them. They’ve all saved my life and helped me in more ways than they can possibly imagine.

I, of course, had to prove myself and my loyalty to the club, but that never was a problem. Sure, the illegal shit wasn’t easy at first, but as time went by, it was a lot easier to just let myself follow them, and embrace this new lifestyle. I came close to be arrested a couple of times, but always managed to either get myself out of trouble or have one of my brothers help. Brothers, I still can’t believe I have a full family that supports me. It took almost thirty years to happen. It took me almost two years to be fully patched in, and I’ve done some crazy stupid shit for the club, but I wouldn’t change it for anything. Amazing fucked up memories I’ll remember forever. From travelling all over the state and some parts of the country, to sharing some amazing stories with the older members, to be able to just be my true self and not give a fuck about what others might think of me or what I do. It was and still is so liberating, a lot more than when I was doing drugs. This feeling of true freedom is more addictive than any other drug I’ve ever tried.

I never thought this lifestyle would be for me, it’s the complete opposite of the way I was brought up. Now, I have a family, I have friends, I can wear whatever I please—well, maybe not quite everything, but you get me—and say whatever the fuck I want to say.

For the first time in years, I feel alive and it feels fucking awesome.

It might also have a little something to do with a blonde angel who goes by the name of Charline.

I met her when I started to hang out with the club. Being Ayden’s best friend, she was always around. She’s an absolute knockout with her pouty lips, long blonde hair and big blue eyes. An angel. The first time I saw her, I thought I had died and gone to heaven. She is the sweetest girl ever, but there’s one major issue. She’s underage. Well, she’s turning 18 soon, but still, it feels so wrong to be lusting over her.

I’m a masochist I guess. Even though I know I can’t have her, I have to spend as much time as I can with her. It’s not fair to either of us, especially since she seems to feel the same as I do, but I can’t help it. I need my fix…

However, it all ended one night not too long ago, when I made the stupidest mistake ever…well one of many…

HEALING GABE (LAST HANGMAN MC #3)

Gabe

October 16
th
, 2014

Luck has never been on my side. My parents were suddenly taken away from my sister Nicole and me fourteen years ago; she was barely eight, I just eighteen. I had to fight tooth and nail to keep us together and with the help of a very kind lawyer, I became her legal guardian. I put my life on hold for her, making sure she grew up loved, grounded and happy and I don’t regret a second of it. She’s turned out to be such a beautiful yet incredibly frustrating young woman. She likes to remind me often that she’s just a female version of me, but I can’t be
that
annoying. We love to mess with each other; it’s what keeps us sane. I might not be the most understanding older brother but it’s not something I can help, I need to protect her and keep her safe. I would be lost without her and she deserves the best in life, no matter the cost.

I was so preoccupied by my duty to Nicole, making sure she was raised exactly how my parents would have wanted, that I didn’t exactly focus on me. I have only dated one woman and it ended disastrously. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve fucked women. A lot of them, without a care about how I treated them, I was more of a ‘hit it and quit it’ kind of guy, I couldn’t let them get close. Nicole needed me and she was the only girl I could ever truly care for.

That all changed when I met
her
. In such a short amount of time she became my world but as quickly as she came into my life she was taken away from me. To this day, twelve years later, I still have nightmares which only get more vivid each time. It makes no fucking sense to me. It seems like my subconscious wants to torture me.

Meeting
her
rocked my world. One night I was a normal guy, trying make ends meet, taking care of my sister, the next, I was propelled into a world I never ever imagined being a part of and became a member of a motorcycle club.

Recently, I’ve been experiencing an uneasy feeling that things aren’t going to stay as steady as they have been. I can handle anything happening to me, but to Nicole?
No. Fucking. Way.

It doesn’t help that Nicole has been off to college for a couple of months now, so I can’t keep a close eye on her myself but luckily I have one of our guys from another chapter watching over her. I need to make sure she is okay at all times, especially after everything that happened to Ayden and Charline. I’m not willing to risk anything happening to her. She’s my life.

You would think that I would have thought twice before joining The Last Hangman MC knowing I was raising my baby sister, who needed constant love, attention, support and protection, but because of one fucking mistake I had to join them.

Here is my mistake...

11 Years Ago

I turned twenty-one last week and didn’t bother going out to celebrate it. I didn’t have the heart to leave Nicole alone on that day. We did have fun but now I need some adult fun.

I’ve called a babysitter to watch over Nicole tonight. I love my sister to death but I need a night to myself. For the past three years, I’ve been doing all I can possibly do to make sure she has everything she needs. I’ve completely put my life on hold and I’m at the point where I desperately need a break. Don’t get me wrong, I will always do what I can to make her happy, but there’s only so much a guy can take.

In order to be able to raise her I’ve been working non-stop at a local garage, trying to make enough money to pay the bills, keep a roof over our heads, keep her fed and get her whatever she may need or want, but it’s just not enough. Do you have any idea how expensive it is to take care of an eight year old girl? The fact that I can’t say no to her does not help in the slightest.

We come from a modest family and my parents never imagined they would both leave us so early, so they didn’t think of setting up a fund for us. I’m not blaming them but being thrown into the adult world when all you want to do is spend time with your friends and party is tough, I had to adapt fairly quickly. It was harder on Nicole than it was on me. She was just a kid when it happened. She needs her parents to grow up and help her through life and the changes a woman’s body will go through along the years.

Over the years, I’ve had girls, women, come over purely to fuck whilst she’s been asleep. I know, I’m irresponsible for bringing unknown women into our house and I paid the price when one of those fucking bitches stole some of our stuff. I had to explain to Nicole why the necklace our Mom left her was missing. I have never felt more like shit than I did then seeing the look of pure heartbreak on her face.

Tonight, instead of bringing someone in, I’m going out to play and it’s gonna get messy.

I park my pickup truck in the parking lot of a bar and make my way to the entrance. I don’t know what I’m looking for tonight. A couple of drinks? A good fuck? A good fight? Any of those will do, all of them would be even better. I have so much pent up rage that I need to let it out somehow.

I sit at the bar and order a beer and a shot of bourbon. I down the shot and revel in the feeling of the amber liquid burning my throat. I bring the bottle to my lips when someone taps me on the shoulder. At first, I think it’s one of those drunk fucks I saw when I entered wanting to pick a fight but when I turn around, I see this curvy bombshell smirking at me.

“Hey, big boy, looking for a good time?” She caresses my arm.

“Depends on what you are offering.” I say as I look her up and down. She’s not bad, clearly has had too much plastic surgery, but she will do.

“Anything you want. I’m Scarlett.”

“Gabe.”

“A pleasure, Gabe. Wanna go out for a quickie?” I love women who know what they want and don’t bullshit it.

“My kind of woman.” I smirk and walk outside, leading the way behind the bar. I don’t care if we’re going to have witnesses, it makes it all the more exciting.

She doesn’t waste any time undoing my belt and pants. She gets down to her knees, taking my cock out and wraps her ruby red lips around it, sucking hard. I lean against the wall for support. It’s been a few weeks since I’ve had sex and at this rate, I won’t last long. I hold her face in place for a few seconds, face fucking her fast before I pull her up and make her face the wall.

“Not gonna last long if we keep this up,” I say as I roll a condom down my shaft.

“Thanks for the compliment, big boy.” She giggles. She was a bit sloppy but I’m not about to piss her off. I need to fuck someone and she’s so willing to fulfil my needs.

I lift her skirt and smirk. “Commando, my kind of woman.” I chuckle and position myself, thrusting into her slowly but not giving her time to adjust, I’m too far gone to care if I’m too big for her.

“Fuck, you’re huge!”

“I know.” I smirk and start thrusting faster, holding her hips in a tight grip. She moans loudly, clearly enjoying the rough sex. Too bad I never go for a second round with the same person, she feels pretty good wrapped around my cock.

After a few minutes, I feel myself getting close, I start to fuck her even harder and faster, desperately needing this release. I keep a tight hold on her hip with my left hand and move my right one to her pussy and start playing with her clit. I’m not going to last very long and I don’t want her to start moaning that she didn’t get to come. It doesn’t take her long to get there.

“I’m gonna come, big boy,” she moans moving back to meet my thrusts. In no time, we both come. I let her ride out her orgasm and withdraw, taking off the condom and throwing it in a nearby trashcan. I fasten my pants while she fixes her hair and skirt.

“Thanks for a good time, big boy, call me if you want a repeat.”

“Thanks for the offer, but I don’t do repeats.”

“Sucks for me.” She kisses me and saunters back inside.

I’m about to go back inside when I hear people shouting. A man is yelling at a woman who sounds distressed. I’m no knight in shining armor but I was raised to treat a woman with respect. Sure I’m not exactly treating them properly at the moment but we’re on the same page, I never promise them anything and most certainly never raise my voice or hurt them.

I make my way back around the bar and watch the argument, assessing if the woman needs help or not.

“Leave me the fuck alone, you fucking asshole!” She shouts at the guy.

“Vivian don’t be such a fucking bitch and come with us. It’s going to be fun. You’re gonna love it. You know we always take good care of our women.” The asshat chuckles darkly.

“Oh really? That’s why that girl ran away first chance she got?”

“She couldn’t handle us. You can.” He shrugs and tugs on her arm again.

“Leave me alone!” She screeches.

“You see, I can’t do that. Your Uncle approves of us being together, it’s only you who don’t want to see how good it would be for the club.”

“Fuck you and fuck your stupid club, Jared!” He slaps her and I see red. I charge towards them and push him away from her.

“She told you to leave her alone, asshole! What the fuck don’t you understand about that?” I yell at the asshole known as Jared.

“You just messed with the wrong person, buddy. You have no idea who I am and you’re going to pay for this. You’re going to regret ever coming here!” He spits at me and charges towards me with a knife, proceeding to lacerate my cheek. I don’t think twice and pound my fists into his face. The girl isn’t around anymore which is good, she did the smart thing and ran away when the dickhead charged at me.

Not two minutes into this fight and I’m pulled away from the guy.

“Stop it. Trust me, you don’t want to do this,” an unknown voice tells me. I try to fight the guys holding me but they don’t budge. “Jared, leave and stop fucking harassing Viv or trust me you’ll get into more trouble than you can handle!”

“Fuck off, Cabe, you don’t know shit!”

“I know enough. You don’t have any fucking respect for women and that’s enough for me to know you aren’t worth shit.”

“Don’t start something you and your club won’t be able to deal with.” Jared growls.

“Trust me, if someone isn’t going to be able to handle shit thrown at them, it’s you. Now leave before we fucking wreck you.”

Jared chuckles darkly. “Do you really think you scare me, Cabe? You and your little minions aren’t scaring me or my club. You’re all going to regret stepping into something that was none of your business. Trust me.” He walks past us, gets on his bike and leaves.
What the fuck did I get myself into now?

“You okay kid?” Cabe asks me.

“I’m not a kid, and yeah I’ll be fine.” I sigh seeing the blood on my shirt.

He chuckles. “You’re not afraid to fight or to come to a woman’s rescue, that’s good, but you have no idea who you’ve just messed with.”

“Who is he?” I look between the bikers standing in front of me, some of them look my age. This is fucked up.

“He’s in a rival MC called the Hades’ Kings. As I’m sure you’ve gathered, they have no respect for women. You stepping in to help Viv wasn’t a good idea even if it was the right thing to do. I hope for your sake that you aren’t afraid to fight again if they come back because they will. Do you live on your own?”

“What? No, with my little sister.”

“Fuck.” He sighs. “Alright, come with us. We’ll explain everything.” He motions for me to follow them. I don’t know why but I get in my truck and follow these bikers, I have no idea where to but if talking to them can keep Nicole safe after this major fuck up, then I’m all for it.

On my way out of the parking lot, I see the girl who was fighting with Jared. She’s with another girl who looks very similar to her. Our sights lock and remain that way until I’m fully out of the parking lot. I have no idea what all of that was about but I hope they’ll both be okay. I pause and find myself wondering why on earth I care about two random girls. I don’t know them from Adam but I feel the need to keep them safe, to protect them from the likes of Jared. It’s odd, I don’t usually get like this about anyone except for Nicole. As I take one last look at the girls in my rear-view mirror, I get a strange feeling they are going to change my life forever, for better or worse? I’m not sure.

I follow the bikers to their compound and one of their
‘
old ladies’ as they call them stitches up my cheek. It’s going to leave a nasty scar but at least half my face isn’t hanging open and bleeding everywhere.