Freedom (Delroi Prophecy) (17 page)

She didn’t wait for him to join her and hurried to clean up, careful to keep her hair dry. It was bad enough his family would be able to guess the reason for their delay. She didn’t want to give them tangible proof. She was dried, dressed, and ready to go in minutes. Neither of them had spoken and the silence stretched uncomfortably. It was starting to freak her out, but she couldn’t come up with a subject that seemed innocuous without also making it clear she didn’t want to discuss what was going on between them.

“
You’re over thinking things,” he said as they left the rooms once again.

“
I don’t think that’s possible,” she muttered.

He snorted.
“Of course it is. You want me. I want you.” He shrugged. “That part is simple.”

Except it wasn’t, was it? It might have started off that way, but it was starting to get messy. This was exactly why she never stayed with a lover long. Never allowed herself to feel more than affection. They paused outside what she presumed was his mother’s door and he gave her a frustrated look.

“We can discuss your misgivings later,
der’lan
.”

Not if she could help it, though she doubted she’d get away scot free. The door slid open at his knock and Rona beckoned them in. If she was put out by their delay, she hid it well. She smiled and introduced her daughter. Rona was beautiful and Kareena hadn’t expected anything less of Kayna. But beautiful really didn’t cover it. She was stunning. Tall with long blond hair and friendly, bright blue eyes. She wore the same red as her mother, a color that made her tan glow, and Kareena a tad envious.

“We’re helping ourselves tonight,” Rona said as she led the way to a large rich looking dining room.

There was a thick area rug under a wooden table that would easily seat eight, and a long buffet loaded with plates and food. Two plates were already made and on the table, and the two women sat while she and Roarr made theirs. Once they were all seated Rona turned to her son.

“Kaje sent me the current list of chiefs asking to stay during the celebration.”

He nodded, his expression turning grim.
“The inns are already booked. It’s going to be bigger this year than usual.”

“
What is it?” Kareena asked. And why was he so bothered by it?

“
The Rebirth Celebration. It’s a big gathering we have every year to celebrate the goddess, renew our vows, elevate new priestesses and novices, and rededicate the temple,” Kayna said, eyes sparkling. “Basically it’s an excuse for a week long party.”

“
When is it?”

“
Two weeks from now,” Roarr answered. His tone was short and didn’t invite questions, but that had never stopped her before. She suspected that was what had been bothering him when he’d first come to her earlier.

“
So what’s the problem?”

The three family members exchanged a look before Rona finally answered.
“The prophecy. Your presence here with your friends will mean more visitors this year and Roarr doesn’t know which can be trusted.”

She hadn’t anticipated that. A threat from Earth? From Tel? Sure. But despite what she’d learned about the temple attack in Saber City, she hadn’t expected it here in the Keep.
“Are we in danger? Or putting other people in danger?”

They would have to leave if that was true. Her stomach knotted at the idea. She was getting used to Roarr. His insistence they belonged together. And she knew he would try to protect her. She couldn’t allow that. She couldn’t stand to lose anyone else or to be the cause of another’s death. He took her hand and squeezed it before her panic took hold.

“We don’t have any reason to think you or anyone else in danger, Kareena. Not inside the Keep.”

“
But people have heard about us. Once the Earth delegation hears, Tel will find out.”

He shrugged.
“It’s possible.”

She couldn’t believe he was being so casual about it though.
“And when they do?”

“
What?” Roarr asked. “They might hear you are here. Big might. If they do, it doesn’t matter. They can’t touch you here.”

She really wanted to believe him.

“Angel, no Earthling who hasn’t been vetted is getting on planet.”

“
Sergei Trace did.” And no matter what safe guards they put in place, others would too. Roarr sighed.

“
Maybe. We’ll deal with it if necessary. Like it or not, your world has to deal with us now and we have to deal with you. But here on Delroi, you don’t have to deal with any of it.”

“
Unless she wants to,” Rona interjected, softly. Kareena ignored her.

“
So I don’t have to worry my pretty little head?” she asked Roarr, getting angry. She was so lost on this planet.

“
That wasn’t what I meant, and you know it,” he said, his exasperation easy to read. “This isn’t Earth, Kareena. You aren’t the same person now, wouldn’t be even if you were still on your planet.”

“
What are you talking about?”

“
You can’t deny you’ve changed.”

She ground her teeth and tried not to glare. She was feeling things she didn’t want to, and she couldn’t deny that, could she? And that was a huge change. She just wanted to…disappear for a few hours. Regroup and rebuild the wall around her heart. That would be ideal, but she suspected it was too late.

They left Rona’s rooms and walked down the corridor to Roarr’s. Neither spoke. She was on edge, distracted a bit. Confused. It was no surprise she paid little attention to the young warrior waiting outside the door. He handed Roarr a thick leather wrapped packet.

“
Thank you, Loki, go to bed. I’ll see you in the morning,” Roarr said.

As they entered Roarr unraveled the leather, walked to his desk and rolled it out. Several envelopes fell free and he sorted them out quickly before reaching the first one. For maybe half a second she remained calm, which she considered amazing. Or maybe she was just stunned. But, for that moment in time, her brain just didn’t register what he was doing and maybe that was a good thing. Because when it started to work again, she wanted to kill someone and he was holding a piece of mail, looking at her like she’d lost her mind. Kareena jumped forward, meaning to jerk it from his grasp. She wasn’t fast enough. He slit the top of the envelope and she just froze.

It was probably only seconds later that he was on her side of the desk, that he was holding her again. But she still couldn’t breathe. Her chest was tight with pain or panic.

“
I need my inhaler,” she managed to get out.

Roarr had carried her to the couch and sat down with her in his lap.

“You aren’t having an asthma attack, and you know it. I feel your panic and fear.”

Oh, goddess. She might hate it, but she knew he was right. That didn’t mean it was easier to breath. Or move.

“Why?” he asked, clearly confused.

“
I just need a minute,” she said, using some quick and dirty focusing techniques she knew. Basically she berated herself until she was back in control.

She rose and went to his desk, but she didn’t touch anything.

“How much mail do you get like this?” she asked. Her reaction was totally over the top. Illogical. Unreasonable.

“
Like what?” he asked. “What am I missing, baby?”

“
Paper. Why the fuck is a civilization as advanced as yours using paper?”

He cocked an eyebrow at what he surely considered a ridiculous question when she’d damned near had a panic attack over it, but he answered anyway.
“There are many who consider this more secure. It can’t be hacked, and if you trust your messenger, you control the number of eyes on it.”

“
And they just bring it to you unopened? They could be poisoned or…” She shuddered. “Bombs.”

“
Everything is scanned before it comes to me. It’s safe,” he said.

She could feel his curiosity, and he was much too confidant and unconcerned. Like she was an amateur or didn’t know what she was talking about. That just pissed her off. Because she’d come to a striking and insane and out of nowhere realization in the last couple of minutes. She’d been worrying about him trapping her. It was too late for that. He already meant too much to her to lose.

“Why would you assume my correspondence is dangerous? What happened, Kareena?”

“
My father was murdered.”

She barely got the words out. The old rage and loss and pain filled her. Emotions she’d believed conquered and put behind her long ago.

“Like this?” he asked, pointing to his mail. She nodded. She knew she needed to explain, but she had no idea how to start.

“
He was betrayed.”

Roarr wanted to hold her. He wanted to spare her the pain and loss he read easily on her face and in her mind. Instinct held him back, however. He needed to hear her story and she’d probably take any excuse she could find to avoid it.

“
Tell me,” he demanded.

“
I never knew my mother, but she was like me. Dad figured out what I am when I was pretty young.”

“
You mean being a telepath?”

He knew people with psychic powers were strictly regulated on Earth and some of the political entities that did so were evil. They were the ones who’d held her prisoner so long. He repressed his anger over that and focused on her words now.

“He was wonderful. He was a self defense instructor and he taught me to do what he did. We moved around a lot, lived on cash and fake throw away credit cards.” In other words, her father had the sense to leave no paper trail. “His best friend knew, though. He turned on us for reward money.”

“
What does that have to do with mail?”

“
I’m getting there,” she said. He was relieved to hear the testy snap in her tone.

“
They had a system. George, Dad’s friend, would meet up with us once or twice a year. Since we moved so much, Dad used George’s address to keep up with some people in the underground. So if George hadn’t already found a way to get it to Dad, he would bring it when he met us.

“
He met us the day Dad died. We were at a little motel in Florida, right on the beach. We’d just finished breakfast when George arrived. I stayed long enough to say hello, watch him hand Dad the mail, and then walk into the office to check in. I heard the explosion from the beach.”

“
What did you do?”

“
What we’d practiced,” she said softly. Sadly. “I ran. Then I went on the hunt. I never found George. He was probably dead by then since he wasn’t useful anymore. I did find a Tel agent though, a couple of years later, who was very helpful.” Her smile was grim. “They wanted me alive and Dad dead. I got away. He didn’t. Trust isn’t something I do well.”

“
You trust Parker,” he pointed out.

“
I do, but that doesn’t cost me anything really,” she said without hesitation. “We’ve been friends for years. She was my second in command. We always knew, both of us, there was a huge risk in what we did.”

He saw the lie beneath her words, buried so deep he doubted she was even aware of it. He shook his head.

“You only trust her as far as you have to. You want to trust to her completely, but you can’t quite get there can you? You’ve been in my mind, baby. You know I won’t betray you. Neither will Parker, for that matter.”

But that wasn’t what scared her. He felt the denial in her mind and knew there was something more, some other fear holding her back.

“What if someone betrays you,” she said, so softly he had to strain to hear.

Of course. He understood now. She’d buried the fear so deep he hadn’t seen it.

“I could lie. Give you reassuring platitudes, but I won’t.” He took a deep breath. “You’re mine now. You have my mother, my sister, and my brother. I would like you to have our children. I would love to promise you safety. Them too. But I can’t. I think you know that.”

He could sense she wanted to cry and he actually wanted to join in.

Roarr watched her, determined to prove they belonged together despite the obstacles. Hell, maybe because of them. But he was afraid he was wasting his breath. Then the fight went out of her and she sank onto a small sofa. It was almost as painful to see as her rejection. She looked down at her hands. He couldn’t take the dejection. He sat down next to her and brushed his fingers over her face.

“
You have to get past this, Kareena,” he said, feeling raw and exposed and desperate.

She finally looked up at him.
“I want to. I do. But I don’t know how.”

“
For now you accept that I love you. That I can protect you, that I want to keep you safe above anything else.”

“
You’re safety is not freedom. It’s just another kind of prison.”