Get Smart 6 - And Loving It! (8 page)

“I don’t know. But the next time I see him, I’ll tell him that you asked.”

“You mean—”

“It’s a suit of armor with the moonlight shining on it.”

Hurrying, 99 joined Max. “Then we’ve lost Brattleboro,” she said. “Oh, Max, we’ll never find him now!”

“99, if he’s in this castle, we’ll find him,” Max promised her. “Remember back there where we took a left turn and saw this suit of armor? Well, Brattleboro must have taken a right turn, instead. So, we’ll just go back to where we started, and next time, turn right instead of left. That ought to take us straight to Brattleboro.”

“Unless, after he made a right turn, he made another turn—a left turn, maybe? Or a right turn again? Or two right turns and a left turn? Or—”

“Well, we’ll just hope that we’ll be able to spot that light again.”

“After all those turns, Max?”

“Well, we’ll yell for him.”

“Max, let’s face it, there’s no chance in the world that we’ll ever find him again. Your plan— Max! Look!”

Several yards ahead of them a moving pinpoint of light had appeared.

“Yes! It’s—”

The light was gone.

“Max, that was him, I’m sure of it!” 99 said. “He must have been in one of the cross corridors!”

“Why would the corridor be cross, 99, living in a nice, comfy castle like this?”

“I mean one of the corridors that crosses this corridor.”

“Oh. Yes, that was probably it. Hurry! Maybe we can catch him!”

They ran to the next corridor, then stopped and looked both ways.

“Nothing,” 99 said disappointedly.

“There!” Max pointed. He raced down the corridor in pursuit of a pinpoint of light.

“Max! No! That’s—”

There was a clanging sound.

A moment later, Max returned, looking crestfallen.

“Are you all right, Max?”

“Fine, 99. Fine, that is, as long as there’s no compelling necessity for shaking hands with anyone.”

“Max . . . shall we give up?” 99 said gloomily.

“Well, 99, I hate to admit defeat. But it looks as if—”

A pinpoint of light suddenly appeared from around a corner and moved toward them. Max and 99 watched it, fascinated. A few moments later the light reached them.

“Are you two lost too?” Brattleboro’s voice said.

“What gave you that idea?” Max asked cagily.

“I thought you might be having trouble in the dark. Somebody’s been knocking over all the suits of armor.”

“No, no, we’re fine,” Max said. “We’ve been going about this very systematically, checking from room to room. How about you? Any luck?”

“Some.”

“Good.”

“No, it was bad luck. I fell down some stairs.”

“Lucky you weren’t carrying a match,” Max said. “You would have lost your light.”

“That’s not so lucky. I haven’t been able to light my cigar.”

“In that case, too bad you don’t have a match instead of that flashlight.”

“It doesn’t matter. I broke the cigar when I fell down the stairs.”

“Are we going to stand around the rest of the night talking nonsense like this?” 99 asked. “I thought we were supposed to be looking for Lucky Bucky’s and Guru Optimo’s rooms.”

“I knew I was carrying this flashlight around for some reason,” Brattleboro said. “It must be to look for that snake charmer’s room—it’s certainly no good for lighting cigars.”

Brattleboro moved on down the corridor.

“Did you get that conversation?” Max said to 99. “He’s trying to make us think he’s a harmless imbecile.”

“Which part of the conversation, Max? What you said or what he said?”

“99, I was just playing along. I wanted to make him think his trick had worked. He doesn’t want us to know how clever he is. He thinks he’s thrown us off the track. And now, as you’ll see in a second, he’s heading straight for Guru Optimo’s room, convinced that we think that he’s just blundering around blindly.”

“You mean we’re going to follow him
again?
”

“Come on, 99, before he loses us!”

Moving quietly, they set out after the light once more.

All of a sudden it disappeared.

“Oh, Max! Gone!”

“Aha! But this time I saw where it went!”

Max hurried, with 99 at his heels. A second or so later they reached a door.

“This is the place!” Max whispered. “This is the door to Guru Optimo’s room. And inside we’ll find Brattleboro.”

“Careful, Max . . .”

There was a creaking sound as Max turned the knob. Then he flung the door wide open—and peered at a pinpoint of light that was staring back at them.

“Brattleboro?” Max said warily.

“Boy, am I glad to see you!” Brattleboro’s voice replied. “I blundered into this closet, then I couldn’t find my way back out!”

There was silence for a moment. Then Max said, “Look, maybe you better let me take the light.”

“That might be best,” Brattleboro agreed. He handed over the flashlight.

“Thank you,” Max said. “Now, perhaps we can get something accomplished.”

“Take this too,” Brattleboro said, putting two small objects into Max’s hand.

“What are they?”

“The broken cigar that goes with the flashlight,” the KAOS agent replied. “I don’t want to break up the set.”

I
N COMMAND
of the flashlight, Max led the way along the corridor. He began quietly opening doors and looking into the rooms, searching for either Lucky Bucky or Guru Optimo.

“Nothing,” he continued to report.

“Max—”

“Shhh—”

“But, Max—”

“99, please don’t talk unless you have something important to say. Lucky Bucky could be in any of these rooms, and he might hear you.”

“Would it be important if we’d lost V. T. Brattleboro?”

“Mmmmm . . . yes, I think that would fit the category.”

“Max, we’ve lost V. T. Brattleboro,” 99 said.

“What!” Max responded, startled.

“He was right behind me just a moment ago, but now he’s gone.”

“That means he gave us the slip. He knows where Guru Optimo’s room is, and he’s headed straight for it Quick, 99! Follow him!”

“I don’t know which way he went.”

“Look for that pinpoint of light!”

“I see it, Max.”

“Where . . . where?”

“In your hand, Max. You have the flashlight.”

“Oh . . . yes, I forgot about that.” He put out the light. “There, now, we won’t make that mistake again.”

“I’m sure that will be a big help, Max. What do we do next?”

“We’ll just have to backtrack, 99, and look in every room until we find Brattleboro and Guru Optimo. Let’s go.”

They retreated along the corridor, opening doors, looking into the rooms. But, again, Max kept reporting nothing, nothing, nothing.

Then they came to a door that was standing partly open.

“This has to be it,” Max whispered. “Careful, 99!”

He peeked into the room.

“Is it, Max?”

“Yes!”

“What do you see?”

“Guru Optimo. He’s asleep in his bed.”

“And Brattleboro?”

“I can’t see him, 99, but I know he’s in there. I can sense his presence. Evidently he has clouded my mind and is making me think he’s something else. We can’t let that stop us, though. We’ll have to go in there, wake Guru Optimo, and attempt to persuade him to rejoin Control.”

“Won’t Brattleboro try to stop us?”

“Undoubtedly. But there’s nothing we can do about it until he shows himself.”

“All right, Max . . .”

They crept into the room and crossed toward Guru Optimo’s bed. Max’s eyes darted to the right and left, looking for some sign of Brattleboro. And, preoccupied, he bumped into a chair, then stepped back, surprised.

“Ouch!” a voice said.

Max flew into action. He leaped to the window, yanked the cord from the drapes, and quickly wrapped it around the chair, binding it.

“Max,” 99 asked curiously, “why did you do that?”

“99, I’m very surprised that you can’t figure it out. That chair is V. T. Brattleboro.”

“Is it?” She inspected the chair. “How do you know, Max?”

“Didn’t you hear it cry out when I bumped it?”

“Max . . . that was me.”

“You, 99?”

“When you stepped back from the chair after bumping it, you stepped on my foot. I cried ‘ouch!’ ”

“99, didn’t I ask you to keep quiet unless you had something important to say?”

“Ouch seemed sort of important at the moment, Max.”

Max unwound the cord from the chair. “Well, it was still a good move,” he said. “If we can’t
talk
Guru Optimo into rejoining Control, we can tie him up and force him to put in with us again.”

Max motioned to 99, and once more they crept across the room toward Guru Optimo’s bed. Then suddenly, when Max was only a step away from Guru Optimo, the floor opened up beneath him and he went hurtling downward. He landed in water, disappeared below the surface, then bobbed up. Treading water, he looked around. Facing him, treading water too, was V. T. Brattleboro.

“Oh, so there you are!” Max said.

“I see you found Guru Optimo’s room,” Brattleboro replied. “Wasn’t that a little sneaky? What about our agreement? You were supposed to look for Lucky Bucky Buckley’s room.”

“Let’s call it even,” Max said. “You cheated too, you know.”

“How?”

“You were supposed to have been a chair.”

“I wish I were a chair,” Brattleboro said. “I’d stand on myself and climb out of here. Look where we are! This basement, or whatever it is, has no doors and no windows, and the water is approximately ten feet deep. In a very short time, we’re going to become too tired to tread water and then we’re going to drown.”

“Brattleboro,” Max replied, “if there’s one thing I’ve learned during my many years as a secret agent, it’s this: If there’s a way in, there’s a way out.”

“We fell in through that trap door,” Brattleboro said, pointing upward.

Max looked, “Mmmm, yes, I see . . . it closes after the victim passes through it. Well, that certainly proves one thing.”

“What?”

“Sometimes the things you learn during your many years as a secret agent aren’t worth a hill of beans.”

But at that moment the trap door was suddenly pushed open and 99’s face appeared. “Max! Are you down there?” she called.

“Shhh! Don’t wake Guru Optimo!”

“All right,” she whispered. “But are you down there?”

“I can’t hear you, 99. Speak a little louder.”

“I don’t want to wake you-know-who.”

“When you shake
what
, it glows blue?”

“You-know-who!” 99 shouted.

“Sh-sh-sh-sh-sh!”

“He’s down here!” Brattleboro called up.

“Max, why are you imitating Brattleboro? And who’s down there?”

“I am. He is. We both are. Now, look, 99, I think I’ve figured out a way to get us out of here. I still have that cord. I’m going to toss it up to you. You catch it. Then you can pull us out.”

“I don’t think I’m strong enough, Max.”

“99, in times of extreme peril, a person can summon an extra strength that he didn’t know existed. You can do it!”

“I’ll try, Max.”

Max tossed the cord up to her. She caught it.

“Ready, Max?”

“Just a second.”

Max looped the cord around his wrists. “All right, now, 99—pull!”

“Here goes nothing, Max!”

There was a sudden splash. Then 99 bobbed up beside Max and Brattleboro.

“Something apparently went wrong,” Max said thoughtfully. “I wonder what it was?”

“Max, you were the one who was in extreme peril,” 99 said. “So I guess you summoned an extra strength that you didn’t know existed and out-pulled me.”

“Well, I’m glad to know, at least, that the theory is still valid.”

“It’ll be a nice thing to die knowing,” Brattleboro commented.

“All is not lost quite yet,” Max said. “We still have the cord. Maybe I can lasso something up there in Guru Optimo’s bedroom. If it’s firm enough, if it holds, we can pull ourselves out.”

“Boy, would I like to be in a position to take bets,” Brattleboro said.

“Try it, Max,” 99 urged. “It’s our only chance.”

Max made a loop in the end of the cord, then slung it up through the opening. It did not return.

“Max! You caught something!”

“Don’t get your hopes too high, 99. I’ll give it a little tug, and—”

“What, Max?”

“I
did
catch something!” Max said excitedly.

“Will it hold us, Max?”

“Let me give it another little tug. We’ll—”

The chair came tumbling down through the opening, narrowly missing them. A moment later it popped to the surface and floated.

“Well, there’s that chair you were wishing you were to stand on,” Max said to Brattleboro.

“No help. I was talking about a highchair.”

“Try again, Max,” 99 said.

Max tried again.

He got a floor lamp.

“Once more, Max.”

This time he got a drawer from a chest of drawers.

“Don’t give up, Max.”

Next time, when he tugged on the cord, it held firm.

“Success!”

“Too bad,” Brattleboro said. “I was beginning to like it down here. The place is nicely furnished.”

Max climbed the rope, then pulled himself up through the opening. 99 followed. Then Brattleboro emerged from the trap.

Max peered into the dimness. “I wonder what I lassoed?” he said.

“Max, it doesn’t matter.”

“No, I’d like to know. When I tell this story to my grandchildren . . . here I’ll turn on a light.”

He flicked on the switch. His eyes followed the cord.

“Oh . . . hello, there,” Max smiled.

Guru Optimo was sitting up in bed looking at them curiously. The cord was looped around the large toe of his left foot.

“Thanks for the hand,” Max said.

“Foot, Max,” 99 corrected.

Guru Optimo grinned broadly. “No, Sergeant Preston, in the Royal Mounted Police we sit on the horse facing front,” he replied.

“Speaking of that,” Max said, “there’s a matter I’d like to discuss with you.”

“I have something to say too,” Brattleboro said.

Guro Optimo beamed. “I don’t care what your mother says, the light bulb is
not
an impractical invention—it will keep little children from sticking their fingers in empty sockets.”