Give Me a Reason (43 page)

With her hair shimmering in the softly lit room, Eleanor
looked as she did so many years before. Feeling his body react to the beauty of
the woman he loved, William held his breath and tried to memorize the moment.

Outside the cottage, winds whipped and temperatures continued
to fall, but inside the house, it was warm and still. The tick-tock of the
clock on the mantle seemed to slow as Eleanor gazed at the man she loved.
Silently admonishing herself for the pangs of want settling in her core, she
tried to find her voice, but it was gone. Swept away by the desire she saw in
his eyes and the scent of his cologne in the air, Eleanor could do nothing but
return his look, and when he took a half-step toward her, her breath caught in
her throat.

“Ellie...” he said, stopping abruptly when his voice cracked
like a schoolboy’s. Clearing his throat, he started again. “Look, Ellie, I know
that I made...I made a tremendous mistake by walking away from you and Laura,
but I want you to know...no...I
need
you to
know that I’ve never, ever stopped loving you both. I know you’ll never forgive
me for what I did back then, and...um...I can’t ask you to, but if there’s a
chance, any chance at all that you and I...that we...oh, damn it all to hell,”
Bill growled, shoving his hands in the pockets of his trousers.

Eleanor’s heart was racing and her palms were sweaty, but a
smile was lurking just below the surface. Standing her ground, she refused to
move until he said the words she needed to hear...even if it took all night.

Annoyed at his boyish fumbling, Bill wrinkled his brow. “You
could help me out here, you know?”

“Not on your life,” Eleanor said softly, allowing the corners
of her mouth to move upwards just a tad.

Rubbing his chin, Bill stared at her for a moment before the
words finally tumbled out. “Damn it, Ellie, I love you. I always have and I
always will, and I’ve been a fucking bloody fool! I know I wasted a hell of a
lot of years traipsing all over this world looking for something I thought I
wanted, but I forgot to look here,” he said, tapping his finger against his
chest. “I forgot to look in my heart. I forgot that it only beats when I’m
around you. I forgot that waking up beside you is the only way I want my day to
start, and falling asleep in your arms is the only way I want it to end. I
forgot how I loved to watch you wear my clothes after a night…after a night
that turned into a day, and how we used to eat burnt dinners because…because we
hungered for something else. Eleanor, I know that I’ve made mistakes. God knows
I’ve made mistakes, but I don’t want to make any more. I love you, Ellie, and I
will until the day I die.”

No longer able to hide her smile, Eleanor glanced at the
clock on the mantle. “I expect them tomorrow around six.” Seeing the confused
look on William’s face, she walked over and gazed into the green eyes that held
her soul. “I know we’re older, and one of us is apparently
much
wiser, but I fear unless we set an alarm, we
may very well give our daughter more of an education than I think she needs.”

Tears sprung to his eyes, and within seconds, they were in
each other’s arms. At first, their lips touched in slow, short kisses filled
with uncertainty, but when Eleanor began to taste what she never thought she’d
taste again, she deepened the kiss, and William answered in kind. She sighed at
the solidness of his form as he held her tightly, and when his hands cupped her
arse, pressing her even harder against his body, she smiled into the kiss.

Neither noticed the time as it ticked slowly by, for lost in
the emotion called love, they stood in the lounge and kissed and kissed...and
kissed some more. Finally, they parted, and no words were spoken as Eleanor led
him to the bedroom. After lighting a few candles, she turned to the man she
loved. “Say it again.”

“I love you.”

“Promise me that you’ll never hurt me like that again.”

No longer able to stop the emotion, tears cascaded down
William’s face, and in a ragged whisper he said, “I would sooner die a thousand
deaths than to ever...
ever
hurt you again. I
promise you, Eleanor, as God is my witness, I will spend the rest of my days
loving you like no other man could.”

Chapter Forty-One

“Sorry we’re late,” Laura said, walking into the house.
“There were some spots on the road that still had snow on them.”

“No worries, sweetheart. You’re here now and that’s all that
matters,” Eleanor said as she pulled her daughter into a hug. “Oh, I’m so glad
you decided to take me up on my offer.”

“So are we,” Laura said, looking over her shoulder at Toni,
who seemed intent on staring at the floor.

Pulling out of Laura’s arms, Eleanor walked over, and tilting
her head to catch Toni’s eye, she said, “I hear congratulations are in order.”
Seeing Toni grin, without thinking, Eleanor gave her a hug, but when she felt
the woman stiffen, instead of letting go, she held on tight. Pausing for a
moment, Eleanor whispered, “Your mother was a fool to let you go, but I never
will. I have two daughters now, and I love them both.”

Laura had no idea what her mother had whispered in Toni’s
ear, but when she saw Toni warmly return the hug, Laura’s eyes glistened with
emotion.

The embrace ended and the two women parted. For a moment
their eyes met and then Eleanor watched as Toni’s expression turned blank as
she tilted her head to one side. “What’s wrong, dear?” Eleanor asked.

Confused and more than slightly amused at the thought that
had just run through her head, Toni said, “Oh...um...nothing. You just...you
just reminded me of Laura for a moment. That’s all.”

“Must be the lighting. They say those new bulbs do wonders,”
Eleanor said with a laugh. “But enough about me. I’ve been patient long enough.
How about you show me that ring my daughter gave you?”

“Oh...oh, of course,” Toni said, pulling off her gloves.

Smiling at the sight of the diamond on the woman’s hand,
Eleanor said, “It’s beautiful, Toni. Oh, Laura, it’s absolutely stunning. I’ve
honestly never seen a more gorgeous ring.”

“Well, you might want to rethink that,” Laura said.

“What? Why would you say such a thing?” Eleanor asked,
turning around.

“Because Toni decided that I needed one, too.”

Quickly glancing back at Toni, Eleanor murmured, “Good girl,”
under her breath and then rushed to her daughter’s side.

Laura’s face turned radiant as she pulled off her brown suede
gloves, her inner glow becoming brighter as she watched her mother’s eyes
bulge.

Trying to stay with the style Laura had chosen for her, Toni
also purchased an emerald-cut diamond in a yellow-gold band, but while the cuts
were identical, the band around Laura’s finger held not only the large center
stone, but channel-set into the shoulders were six smaller diamonds.

“Oh my,” Eleanor said in a breath. Quickly glancing at her
daughter, Eleanor turned and looked at Toni. “Oh my.”

***

Looking up from the cutting board as Laura came into the kitchen,
Eleanor asked, “All settled in?”

“Yes, and thanks for putting us in the same room.”

“Why wouldn’t I? I’m assuming Toni’s gotten over her issues
with being touched, at least by you, that is.”

Seeing Laura’s face flush scarlet, Eleanor laughed. “Oh, it
does a mother’s heart good to see she can still embarrass her child on
occasion.” Noticing the smile on Laura’s face seemed to disappear a bit too
quickly, Eleanor asked, “What’s wrong, dear?”

“Mum, I know that you’re okay with my relationship with Toni,
but what happens if the rest of the family isn’t?”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t want your Christmas ruined because of us.”

“The only way my Christmas could be ruined would be if you
and Toni weren’t here to celebrate it with me.”

“But—”

“No buts, Laura. I don’t give a damn what the rest of the
family thinks about it!”

“Does that include Bill?”

“I’ve already told your father.”

“What? I thought that’s why you invited him over here
tonight.”

“Well, I thought I should warn him—”

“Warn him!”

Startled by Laura’s tone, Eleanor looked up and then
immediately scowled. “Poor choice of words.”

“Was it?”

“Calm your feathers, Laura. What I was trying to say was that
I thought I should
inform
your father of
Toni’s…well, her idiosyncrasies, so he didn’t walk in here and attempt to shake
her hand or, God forbid, try to give her a hug.”

Laura’s anger disappeared in an instant. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t
thinking about that.”

“Well, I assumed you probably had your hands full with Toni
and getting ready for this visit, so I thought the least I could do is take
care of your father.”

“And did you?”

Images not meant to share with one’s daughter filled
Eleanor’s mind, and as her cheeks began to burn she quickly turned toward the
sink without saying a word.

“Mum? Are you okay?”

Pretending not to hear over the running water, several
seconds passed before Eleanor turned off the taps.

“Mum?”

“I’m sorry. What?” Eleanor said, turning around.

“You said you talked to Bill. I was just trying to find out
what his reaction was.”

“Oh, well, as you might expect, he was somewhat surprised,
and when he found out Toni had spent some time in prison, he was…well, let’s
just say he was concerned. But after I told him some of the particulars, he
came to the same conclusion that I did. As long as you’re happy, he’s happy.”

Laura narrowed her eyes as she stared back at her mother.
“Really?”

“You seem surprised.”

“I am.”

“Why? Did you assume because of what he did all those years
ago that he was some sort of…I don’t know, monster?”

“He walked out on you.”

“He walked out on
us
, but it
wasn’t because he didn’t love us, Laura. He was just young and stupid.”

“Why do you always defend him?”

“Why do you always defend me?” Toni asked, walking into the
room.

“Hiya, sweetheart,” Laura chirped. “Doing better?”

Eleanor let out a sigh, noticing that Toni appeared pale and
on edge. “Oh my and here I thought you were comfortable around me.”

“You’re not the reason I’m nervous.”

“Meeting William then? Laura’s father.”

“Meeting anyone actually, but I’ll admit being around men is harder,”
Toni said.

“Mum, maybe you should call him. Tell him—”

“No Laura,” Toni said, taking a step in her direction. “This
isn’t just any man we’re talking about. He’s your father, and we should meet.”

“I know, sweetheart, but we just got here, and if you need
more time—”

“You can’t protect me from the world. Remember?” Toni said,
placing her hands on Laura’s shoulders. “We both know I’m going to have issues.
It’s unavoidable, but your mum did a good thing by inviting him here tonight.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes. That way I only have to worry about one new person
instead of a group. I do better that way. You know that.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Then it’s settled,” Toni said, placing a light kiss on
Laura’s forehead. “But make sure you’ve got Abby on speed dial, just in case.”

The ringing of the doorbell caused all three women to jump,
and as Eleanor headed toward the entry, Laura glanced at Toni one more time.
“You ready for this?”

“Ready,” Toni said, taking Laura’s hand. “I just hope he is.”

When Eleanor opened the front door and saw William standing
there, her face lit up. She leaned in for a kiss, but then jerked back when she
remembered they weren’t alone. Apologizing by way of a quick shrug, she ushered
him inside, and even though they managed to keep their smiles under control,
their eyes twinkled with a merriment that very well may have bested Santa
Claus.

“Hello, William,” Eleanor said softly. “Remember what I told
you.”

“Yes, dear,” he whispered, placing a large bag on a nearby
table. Removing his coat, he draped it over a chair, and as he picked up the
bag, Laura came from the kitchen. Smiling, he went over and kissed her on the
cheek. “Hello, Laura. I swear you’re getting more beautiful every day.”

Up until that moment, their meetings had been accidental and
almost always wooden. One had never felt he had the right to expect more than
cordial, and the other had never been willing to give anything but. So,
slightly unsettled by her father’s words and actions, it took a second before
Laura said, “Um...hi, Bill. You’re...you’re looking well.”

“Fit as a fiddle, as they say,” he said, glancing over her
shoulder.

The night before, Eleanor had done her best to describe the
tall woman standing near the kitchen, but Bill quickly decided that her best
apparently needed improvement. She had said Laura’s partner was attractive, but
the woman with black hair and soulful eyes was much more than that, and while
Eleanor had told him that Toni was neither gruff nor butch, William hadn’t
believed her...but he did now.

“So, are you going to introduce us?” he asked, catching
Laura’s eye. “Or should I ask your mother to do me the honor?”

Laura flashed a dazzling smile, and then walking over, she
took Toni’s hand. Giving it a reassuring squeeze, she turned to her father.
“Toni, this is my...my father, Bill MacLeod. Bill, this is my fiancée, Toni
Vaughn.”

Taking Eleanor’s warning to heart, Bill didn’t move an inch,
and almost immediately, an awkward silence fell over the room. Realizing his
lack of etiquette might be misinterpreted, Bill’s face brightened with every
ounce of charm he owned. “Pleased to meet you, Toni.”

Toni stared back at the man for a moment. Just as Laura had
described, he was tall, nearly Toni’s height, and his face was tanned by years
in the sun, but what Laura hadn’t mentioned was that the gentleman standing
with one hand in a pocket and the other holding a large paper sack was, in
Toni’s eyes, rather dashing. His wavy hair seemed to have a mind of its own,
and even at a distance she could see that his eyes were a brilliant green.
Matching the emerald in Laura’s eyes, the color calmed her nerves, and slowly,
she held out her hand. “It’s a pleasure, Mr. MacLeod.”

After one quick glance at Eleanor to silently get her
approval, Bill pulled his hand out of his pocket and extended it to Toni.
Tempering his normally firm grip, he was impressed when the one returned was
confident and strong, and as they ended their greeting, he held out the bag he
had been holding. “Well, I don’t know about you, but I could do with a drink
after that,” he said, making light of the anxiousness that seemed to hang in
the air. “How about you?”

Already flustered by the affection he had shown her seconds
before, Laura was now dumbstruck. The man she believed meant nothing to her had
just filled her heart with pride. In a few seconds, he had managed to break the
ice, and with smiles on their faces, she watched as her partner and her parents
went to the kitchen to pour themselves a drink. Scratching her head, Laura
followed in silence, trying to make sense of the feelings that had just caused
goose bumps to appear on her skin.

***

The rest of the evening moved smoothly, and conversation
around the dinner table centered on the upcoming holiday. Eleanor talked about
the decorating she wanted to do, and with groans and grins, they tried to plan
their week, and when Bill volunteered his services, Eleanor was pleasantly
surprised when both Toni and Laura agreed.

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I think I need to rest a
bit before we have dessert,” Eleanor said, pushing out her chair. “How about I
clean this up and we all relax for a few?”

“I’ll help,” Laura chimed in, grabbing her plate, but when
Toni began to gather their glasses, Laura shooed her away. “We’ll do it. Go get
a smoke, and I’ll make some coffee.”

Enjoying the fact that her partner knew her so well, Toni
went to fetch her jacket, and as she was walking to the back door, Eleanor
said, “Oh, Toni. I had some work done out there. There’s a new switch by the
door. Turn it on when you go out.”

Toni flipped the toggle and stepped outside to find that the
gardens were now awash in low-voltage lighting.

The winter in Scotland had begun with a bang. With two weeks
of frigid temperatures and more than an ample amount of snow, as Toni walked
across the slate, she was thankful for the addition of the short border lamps.
Casting their light over the patio, she could easily make out the shimmering
patches of ice as she made her way to the bench. Pulling out her pack of
cigarettes, she sat down and looked toward the garden.

Pathway lights had been placed alongside the stepping stones
that led to the Japanese maple, and while the red leaves had long since blown
away, she could still make out the branches, courtesy of a small spotlight
placed at the base of the tree.

Hearing the door open, she turned and watched as Bill stepped
outside.

Holding up his pipe, he asked, “Do you mind?”

“No…no, not at all,” she said, unconsciously moving farther
down the bench.

Standing by the door, Bill packed his pipe, and after
fumbling for his lighter, he walked over and sat down. Blocking the breeze with
his hand, he puffed on the stem until the tobacco caught fire. Within seconds,
the air began to smell of earth and chocolate as the burley smoldered, and
taking another puff, he pulled his coat closed. “It’s a bit chilly out here
tonight, isn’t it?”

“Yes…yes, it is,” Toni said, staring at the slate beneath her
feet.

It felt odd to sit so close to a man and not feel fear, to
not worry about the brass buckle on his belt or believe the words he spoke were
untrue. They had only known each other for a few hours, but from the moment
they met, it seemed to Toni that he was trying his best to make her feel
comfortable. He hadn’t offered his hand until she had offered hers. He hadn’t
tried to exclude her from conversations, or direct his attention only to his
daughter or his ex-wife, nor had Toni wanted to be excluded. She found Bill
charming and unassuming…just like his daughter.