Goodbye Secrets (The Lost & Found Series book #2) (31 page)

“She’s always loved you, baby.” He smiles warmly. “Do you remember her stopping by that day?” He plays with a strand of my hair. I try to think back.
Oh, yes!
I nod. “Will you tell me as you remember it?” He kisses my nose.

“Yes. Um, let’s see. I was just cleaning up from lunch, and she startled me. ‘Whadju make today, darlin’?’ I turned around and immediately ran into her arms. Her blue eyes were bright with tears and her hair was perfect and silver as always.” I smile.

“My silver fox.” Ray smiles, too, at his nickname for her.

“She said, ‘You got a minute, baby girl? We need to have us a walk.’ I nodded and kissed her cheek again. ‘There, there now, baby, everythin’ gonna be all right. Let’s go get us some fresh air.’ We took a walk up toward the trails. ‘Ray told me you two had an argument this mornin’. Becca, he’s beside himself, honey. You know my Raymond loves you. Ever since he met you, he’s been head over heels, darlin’. Now you two have been togetha for a year now, you’re still figurin’ each other out.’

“I said, ‘Elise, Ray and I are just friends.’

“‘Becca, now I’m goin’ stop you right there, baby girl! What you been tellin’ yo’self and what you been showin’ the rest of the world are two differn’ thins’, honey. When ya’ll come up an’ visit me an’ Artie, you an’ Ray are kissin’, playin’ and touchin’ like a pair a teenagers. When we take day trips with ya’ll—it’s the same thin’. Now I don’t think it’s intentional, but you been flippin’ yo switch with him since the beginnin’, honey, and he’s just ‘bout had it. I know what happened to you was very traumatic, but I think it’s high time you went an’ saw somebody to help you through that. You need to do it for yo’self and for Ray, honey. You can’t keep stringin’ him along. You can’t be kissin’ and lovin’ one moment and pushin’ him away the next. He’s been nuttin’ but good to you and Morgan, Becca. He takes care of you the best way he can. Now we goin’ pick you up for this weddin’ and you are goin’ to act and be the attentive girlfriend Raymond needs and deserves. An’ you goin’
stay
attentive an’ not flip out an’ embarrass him. I hope you know I love you, sweetheart, an’ I’m not tryin’ to be the bitchy mother-in-law, but I love my son, too. He needs his girl, Becca. He’s goin’ through a tough time an’ he jus’ needs you. You goin’ to come and leave this baggage behind!’”
I take in a deep breath.

“Mother-in-law, huh?” He smiles.

“Oh, yes. She always refers to herself that way and introduces me as her daughter-in-law.” I smile because I never minded. I love her.

“So what did you say to all of that?” His eyes widen.

“What I always say to your mother when she gives me a ‘what for’...
Yes, ma’am
.” I laugh.

“Mmm ... you were so very, very attentive, baby. Do—you—remember?” He pecks at my lips.

Oh God, I want to be with him. The memories are sucking me in—confusing me. I need to stop. “Close your eyes and think about the wedding. Do you remember us picking you up? My dad drove ...”

I nod.

It was noon when they arrived. I was sick to my stomach with nerves. I hadn’t seen or talked to Ray since Thursday morning when he declared his hatred for me.

My hair was in an updo with soft curls. It looked flowy and carefree, but it was cemented in place with product. My dress was a plum chiffon halter top that ended just above my knees. I accessorized with the one-carat, pear-shaped diamond earrings and matching necklace that Ray gave me for my birthday. I added the diamond tennis bracelet from Mother’s Day and a few spritzes of the Birmane perfume he bought me—just because. I took one last look in the mirror before I headed down with my overnight bag.

“Hi, Becca!” Annie ran to me. She gasped. “You look beautiful!”

I smiled and thanked her, but all I could concentrate on was the heat from Ray’s stare.

“Morgan’s in her room, honey. You girls be good for Hazel, okay?” I tapped her bottom.

“We will!” she yelled and ran off. I grabbed my bag again and headed toward Ray. I could feel my face flush.

“Let me take that.” He reached for it. His face was so close to mine. He stood back up, my bag in his hand, and stared at me intently. I moved closer ‘til my body was pressed up against his. I licked my lips and leaned up toward him. It was a very vulnerable kiss, and I pulled away reluctantly. His gaze remained intense. I leaned up and did it again. He responded slightly. I cupped his face with my hands and put a little more urgency into my kiss. He parted his lips and I deepened the kiss with a slip of my tongue. His tongue greeted mine, softly caressing it.

“C’mon,” he whispered when he pulled away. He took my hand and led me out to the car. Artie was driving and Elise was in the front passenger seat.

“Well, hi, darlin’!” She got out of the car to greet me. “Now, don’t you look beautiful, baby? Doesn’t she look beautiful, son?” She held me at arm’s length.

“She always does, Mama.” His smile seemed reluctant. “Mama, I’m gonna sit with Daddy up front.”

“No, son, you’re goin’ sit in the back with your girlfriend,” she stated with her Southern authority.

“She’s not my girlfriend, Mama. I’m not sure what she is. Maybe you could clarify that for us, Becca. What are you to me?” The words were snarky—he was still angry. I looked down and played with my fingers like a child would. “What are you, Becca?” he yelled, making me jump.

“Raymond!” Elise snapped.

“Stay out of this, Mama! What are you, Becca? Tell me!” He grabbed my arms.

“Raymond, that’s enough, son!” Artie got out of the driver’s seat and raised his voice. I looked up at Ray, tears slipping from the pools in my eyes.

“Tell me,” he said calmly.

“I’m yours. I’m yours, Ray,” I cried. He released my arms and grasped my face instead. I heard his mother tell his father to get back into the car. Both of their doors closed and I was lost in a kiss with Ray.

“C’mon now.” He gave me a small peck and nodded toward the back seat. We both got in.

Our two-hour drive to Boston started out pretty silent.

“Your jewelry is pretty, baby.” His mom turned and pointed.

“Oh, thank you. Every piece is from Ray. These two were for my birthday, and this one was for Mother’s Day.” I pointed to each piece proudly, then glanced over at Ray to catch his satisfied smile. I sat back a little closer to him. He wrapped me in his arms.

“I’ve missed you,” he whispered in my ear.

“I missed you, too.” I welcomed his lips on mine.

“I can’t wait to get you to our hotel room and get inside of you.” I turned my eyes sharply to meet his. He stared at me as if I was a steak and he hadn’t eaten in weeks. I swallowed hard and decided to engage the McNeils in conversation the rest of the way down to Boston.

“Jesus, Ray!” I say when I open my eyes.

“Now what did I do?” He smiles, looking half asleep.

“What you said to me in the car on the way down to Boston.”

“Hmm ... your cheeks went bright red. Go back. It’s about to get real hot.” He rubs and squeezes my bum. I close my eyes and try to forget what his touch is doing to me.

We checked in at the Harbor Hotel and headed upstairs to our room. It was nice, with a king-sized bed and a large window with a view of the harbor. The rich blues, reds, and golds in the fabric used for the bedding, drapery, and chairs added a romantic feel to the room. I had been through the lobby of this hotel a million times, but this was the first time I’d actually stepped into a room. I found it to be quite lovely.

We had another hour before we had to catch the shuttle to the wedding. Thankfully, the reception was back here at the hotel.

“I used to go whale watching from here.” I pointed to the boats at the docks. Ray walked up behind me.

“Why don’t we do that tomorrow?”

“Eh, I don’t know. It’s four and a half hours. That wouldn’t be fair to Hazel.” I sighed, then gasped as his hands ran up my thighs, hiking my dress up.

“Are you mine, Becca?” He spoke softly in my ear. My breathing was erratic as he kissed my neck.

“Yes.” I breathed.

“Is this mine?” His right hand caressed me between my legs. I could feel the heat rise to my cheeks as the want in me grew. My core tightened. My panties were on the verge, if they weren’t already, of soaking through.

“Oh, um ... yes.” I closed my eyes.

“Good. I want what’s mine, baby. Now.” He turned me to him and unzipped my dress.

“This unhooks here.” I showed him the hook in the front, which unfastened the fabric from the halter position. I unbuttoned his shirt as he worked at my strapless bra. I ran my hands up his chest to his shoulders, pushing his shirt off of them.

“Baby, I’m not going to stop.” He thumbed my lip.

“Yeah, I think I got the memo on that.” I kissed his thumb. “You got the skills to get the job done without messing my hair up, McNeil?” I gave him the thug nod—one of our many inside jokes.

“Bravery without wine ... I’m impressed, baby.” Half boyish grin.

“I’ve got my big-girl pants on,” I agreed.

“Hmm.” He hooked his fingers under the elastic of my panties and whipped them down. “Not anymore, babe.” I thought about bringing up the fact that he basically just called my panties big, but the fact that he was biting me down near the apex of my groin was a bit distracting.

I closed my eyes and fisted his hair to brace myself. His mouth traveled up to my stomach, and he dove his tongue deep into my navel as his fingers slowly separated me and plunged inside.

“Ah!” I gasped.

“Oh, baby, you’re so ready for me.” He pulled his fingers out and sucked my taste off of them. He slid his hands up my body as he came to a standing position again. He stared down into my eyes as I unbuckled his belt and worked at the button and zipper of his pants. “You okay, baby?” He touched my cheek.

“I love you, Ray. I want to be with you.” I leaned my head into his touch.

“You love me?” He seemed unsure.

“I do. I can’t imagine my life without you.” I remember feeling the guilt rise as I said it. Why did I feel guilty?

“Becs, baby ... stay with me. Focus, honey, please. Stay with me. Don’t do this, baby ... please. You promised you wouldn’t flip out. Damn it!” His mouth was on mine with a sense of urgency. He brought me down to the bed.

“Ray ... Ray.” I felt the panic coming on. What was I doing? Ray thrust himself inside of me. I could feel myself aching as I expanded around him.

“Becca ... oh God, baby.”

I closed my eyes, soaking in the sensation of Ray making love to me. I felt myself focusing and calming down. I opened my eyes to find Ray’s tormented ones.

“Let me hold you,” I begged, and glanced at my arms. He had them pinned.

“Oh, Becs.” He released them and found my mouth. I held on to his back as my hips met his powerful thrusts. He felt so good ... so right. I couldn’t get close enough to him. I know he felt the same. He was trying to climb higher—deeper into me—and my hips were coming off the bed to meet him, help him. All of the sudden, I felt it come on. It was like a choir of angels singing out the most beautiful note.

“Oh, Ray. Oh, baby. Please. Please,” I practically cried. The choir broke out the chorus section of Madonna’s “Like a Prayer.” He worked me through my quakes—there were so many of them!—all the while egging me on. I began to squeeze around him.

“Oh God, Becs. Oh, baby. Jesus ... agh!” He groaned and scrunched his face. “Baby. Baby, wait. Oh ... oh, Becca ... oh, honey.” His lips formed a perfect “O” shape as he came inside of me so deeply I couldn’t help my added whimper of approval. The full weight of his body crashed down on top of me as he tried to catch his breath. He nudged my lips with his as he reached down and slowly pulled himself out, making me wince. “Becs ... I’m sorry.”

“For what?” I touched his cheek.

“Um ... I, uh ... well, I wasn’t prepared.”

“Are you saying we just had a
whoops
?” I propped myself up on my elbows and looked down.

“Uh ... yeah.” He bit the inside of his cheek.

“We should be all right. I’m on the Pill.” A look of relief came over his face, but a furrowed brow quickly followed.

“Why are you on the Pill, and why didn’t I know?”

“For the men I randomly sleep with at different expensive hotels. And because I didn’t want you to know about them.” I held my hand up to my mouth like I accidentally released secret information.

“Smartass! I’m just surprised I didn’t know. I know everything about you, Becs.” He laid his head back on the pillow.

“Oh, you think you do. But you don’t.” I rested my chin on his chest.