Graceful Ashes (22 page)

I felt Hendrix step up behind me before his arms snaked around my waist and his lips gently brush against the curve of my neck.

His lips left my skin just before he spoke, “You have no reason to blame yourself for what happened that night, Zoey. You didn’t start the fire, no one actually did. It was a horrific accident, so you need to stop blaming yourself.”

I bowed my head and nodded that he was right. “It hurts so much.” I choked out.

“As badly as I want to say it’ll fade over the years. You and I both know that it won’t. It’s a part of life that we learn to handle the best that we can.”

“You’re right.” I wrapped my arms around my midriff.

I took a few deep breaths to gather my composure.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

The warmth of his breath danced across my skin as he spoke then he placed two gently kisses against the soft skin below my ear. I closed my eyes and took in the butterflies swarming to life within me.

With my eyes closed I willed the tears away, and once I had my emotions under wraps, I turned in his arms and crashed my lips to his. Without hesitation our mouths synced, our tongues danced with one another as our hands roamed each other’s flesh.

Hendrix lifted me in the air and my legs instinctively wrapped around his waist. I could feel his arousal through his slacks as he walked. Where he was taking me, I wasn’t sure, but in that moment I sure as hell didn’t care. My eyes stayed closed as we devoured one another. His hands cupped my bottom as mine roamed the muscles of his back then up into his hair. I needed to feel him, all of him, and I was hoping he felt the same.

“I have to set you down,” he whispered against my lips.

“Okay.” I unwrapped my legs and slid down his front.

A door opened behind me then he cupped my cheeks as he placed his forehead against mine. “You’re absolutely stunning.”

I couldn’t form words that sounded half as romantic as what Hendrix had said so I pressed my lips against his once more and ran my hands up the front of his shirt.

A groan rumbled his chest and he took a step back before slipping his hand into mine. He turned to walk up a set of stairs.

I followed him. “Where are we going?”

Hendrix glanced over his shoulder and flashed a small grin as he ascended the stairs with me in tow. At the head of the stairs, he pressed buttons on a small keypad on the wall next to the door. Whatever was behind that door was important enough to secure it. After the door unlocked, Hendrix pushed down the handle and opened it. I couldn’t see much until we stepped into the room and he flipped on the lights.

“This is my place.” He smiled gestured around the space.

I gently pushed the door shut behind me and took in his beautiful studio apartment. “Wow,” I sighed.

Everything was rustic, yet modern. Completely opposite of the rundown place connected to his old studio he used to live in. Hendrix had completely changed to someone that he should be proud of, because I sure as heck was. He’d made something of himself, someone he used to believe he couldn’t be and I was unbelievably blown away and proud of him for it.

“This place is beautiful.” I stopped in front of a painting of a woman with long dark hair. Her head bowed so you couldn’t see her face. Less abstract than anything else in his studio, the piece was absolutely breathtaking. “Did you paint this?” I asked without turning around.

“It’s the one and only painting I have ever done.”

I wondered at the reserve in his voice and hurried to assure him. “It’s amazing.” My hand smoothed across the surface as my eyes scanned down the painting, stopping on the woman’s feet.

“It’s you.”

His warm breath danced across my shoulder as I realized what day had inspired this painting. The woman balanced on her tiptoes and wore a pair of dance shoes and leotard. Her arms stretched high in the air, her hands linked together at the fingers. The moment he’d captured was from the day he’d watched me practice at Juilliard without my knowledge. “The day we kissed.”

“Technically the second time we kissed,” he teased.

I chuckled remembering when he’d given me a shotgun of marijuana at the party in the hallway of my building. I turned to face him.

“I love when you laugh.” He stepped closer so that our chests were touching and hooked a strand of hair behind my ear.

My eyes locked on his as his fingertip slowly ran down the skin behind my ear, down the curve of my neck, continuing its path across my shoulder, and hooked beneath the collar of my sweater.

A sigh fell from my lips as he withdrew his finger from my collar and slipped both of his hands beneath the hem. Hendrix slowly pulled the sweater up and over my head, leaving me in my simple black bra. His eyes never drifted from mine as his warm hands caressed my skin then snaked around my ribcage, up my spine, and stopped just below my bra line.

“I love those small sighs that fall from your mouth when I touch your skin.”

His finger slipped beneath the clasp and quickly unsnapped it. But instead of pulling the bra from my body, his palms caressed the skin beneath the strap easing the tension. My teeth dug into my bottom lip as his skilled fingers massaged up my spine until he reached my shoulders. His fingertips slipped beneath my bra straps and slipped them down my arms. The bra barely made any noise as it hit the floor below us, but his eyes stayed connected to mine.

“I love how your emotions play out within your eyes.”

“Touch me.” My words were barely above a whisper, but they set him on fire as I’d hoped.

His eyes darkened as they dropped to my chest. His palms covered my bare breasts and his mouth covered mine. He wasn’t rough and demanding like I had anticipated, but steady and loving as his hands kneaded my flesh and his lips molded with mine.

I yanked his shirt from the waistband of his slacks and smoothed my hands over his skin. His back was firm and warm. My nails scrapped his spine and he moaned with pleasure. Hendrix lifted me into his arms and carried me over to the large bed in the far right corner of the studio apartment and lowered me against the mattress. I watched as he unbuttoned his shirt and discarded it to the floor behind him, followed by his slacks. He stood at the foot of the bed in nothing but a pair of black boxer briefs. His tanned skin was toned and beautiful, but different than the last time I’d seen him this way. Black inked script filled the left side of his ribcage.

“What’s your tattoo say?” I lifted onto palms.

“I resurget ex favilla.”

I knew the saying was French, but couldn’t translate it. “English?” I smiled.

“From the ashes I shall rise.”

“Perfect,” I breathlessly replied as I watched him slide the last piece of clothing covering his beautiful body down his legs and step out of them.

Hendrix hands smoothed up my stocking covered legs until he reached the zipper on the side of my skirt. He pulled the zipper down slowly, his gaze locked on mine. Once the skirt was gone, he tucked his hands into the waistband of my stockings.

I gave him a small nod of confirmation before he pulled them from my legs then trailed kisses up my leg. His lips paused at the apex of my thigh. I knew he wanted me completely bare, but it’d been years since anyone had seen me; even then it had only been him. I let out a small breath and smiled down at him.

“You’re the most beautiful woman in the world.”

I knew he meant those words by the intensity of love swimming in his navy eyes. Even though my nerves were ramping up, my gut told me that I wanted to do it all with Hendrix. That he was the only man I could see myself crossing that line with, so I nodded once more giving him the go ahead.

His fingertips curled into the tiny band on each side of my panties and he lowered them down my body. My eyes stayed locked on his until he slipped the material from my feet and dropped them on the floor somewhere. Labored breaths had my chest rising and falling hastily as I watched him taking in every inch of my body. When his gaze connected with mine my mouth went slack from the amount of love and pure desire that swam in his eyes.

“I love you.” I whispered as I smoothed my hand across his prickly face.

“I love you too, baby. More than life itself.”

Hendrix kissed his way up my body and stopped to give each breast its own personal attention before bringing his lips to mine. I moaned into his mouth as his erection pressed firmly against my most sensitive area. I’d never
had
someone inside me before, but I couldn’t help wondering how many women Hendrix had been with since I’d left. But I wasn’t going to allow that to muddy our moment.

Our mouths molded together as our hands explored each other’s bodies. My nails dug into his firm back begging for more of him. I needed…no, I craved him. I’d waited long enough. I was ready to take that final step with Hendrix.

I ground my pelvis against his and his mouth pulled away from mine. Labored breaths filled the room.

“You’re driving me crazy when you do that.” He trailed kisses down the curve of my neck.

“I want you, Hendrix.”

He halted all motion and stared at me. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” I replied instantly.

He rolled to the side and pulled a small wrapper from the bedside table.

A condom.

I bit my lower lip as he tore open the wrapper. A light tremor shook my body from the anticipation pumping through me as I watched him roll it down his length. It was about to happen. I was going to lose my virginity to the one person I’d thought was going to take it years ago.

“Baby why are you shaking?” Hendrix smoothed his hands up my thighs.

I smiled at his concern. “Just nervous is all.”

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

He was giving me another chance to tell him no, but all I wanted was to scream to the heavens yes.

“I’m sure.” I sat up enough to cup his cheek. “I’ve never done this before. I don’t know what to expect.” The words fell from my mouth as I stared into his eyes and hoped I wouldn’t scare him away with my lack of experience.

Hendrix sucked in a shaky breath. “You’re still a virgin.”

I laid back against the mattress and nodded shyly.

“I just—” He leaned over me and wrapped each of my legs around his waist. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you, let alone to be the person you give this gift, but Zoey Fisher…I’ll love you for the rest of my life. I can promise you that. But you have to be one hundred percent that this is something you want to do with me. I don’t want you to look back and regret it.”

“And I love you too, but if you keep a girl waiting for much longer I might have to take care of myself,” I teased.

His eyes danced with laughter as he chuckled. “As tempting as that would be to watch, I’d much rather participate.”

Hendrix kissed me deeper than I’d ever been kissed in my life as his hand slid between us. My hips bucked as his fingertips pushed into me once, twice, and a third time before they were replaced at my entrance with
him
.

All liquid in my mouth had seemed to dry up as he slowly pushed into me. Our kisses stopped and his forehead rested against mine as pressure built between my legs. I squeezed my eyes shut as the pain started. A burning ache shot through me as he pushed through what felt like a barrier keeping him from going any further. Zoey Fisher was no longer a virgin.

A hiss passed my lips.

Hendrix halted all movement. “Am I hurting you?”

I opened my eyes to his worried expression and smiled. “Only for a moment. It’s beginning to ease up.” Which was mostly true. The throbbing was still strong as ever, which I was unsure if that was normal or not, but the feel of him inside of me was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. I couldn’t put the sensation into words even if I tried.

Two people becoming one with love and not lust, made their connection deeper. I realized that when Hendrix asked me if he could move. I nodded. He slowly pulled out of me before pushing back in and repeating the pattern numerous times.

Mews and moans echoed through the room as every stroke of his flesh shot tingles through my core and raised goose bumps on my skin. I knew right then that what we were doing was something I could spend my entire life doing, but only with him.

“I’m not going to last much longer. You’re too tight.” His hand slid between us.

My body bucked once his thumb pressed against my swollen bud and rotated swiftly, pushing my body higher and higher toward my own climax. I called out his name then my mouth fell open when my insides shattered into a million tiny pieces of what felt like heaven on earth.

“Damn, I’ve missed watching you get off.” Hendrix growled as his body shook violently and a long moan erupted from his lungs.

His hips pushed forward as far as they would go between my legs and I watched as he came down from the high of his release. He caught sight of a tear that had slipped from my eye.

“Nothing’s wrong,” I said before he could ask.

“Then why are you crying?” he asked softly.

“Because I’m happy this happened with you. It’s always been yours—I’ve always been yours,” I choked out through my overpowering emotions.