Gut Instinct (24 page)

He had resigned from his post and was on his way to see his Sister who lived in Greece. He had two hours to get drunk before his plane arrived and needed to obliterate the memories of the last few days, few weeks, few months in fact.

He had no choice but to resign, she had humiliated him.  He had lost the respect of his team he shuddered at the memory of when it had all come out, the whispers, the laughing behind his back, someone had, had the nerve to say out loud knowing he was in earshot “Where was his gut instinct then, when he was shagging a transsexual serial killer!” They’d all laughed, even Derek and John his most valued men. 

He couldn’t have stayed on, this would never have been a seven day wonder,
and this
would have followed his career for the rest of his life.

He ordered his first
double
whiskey from the
airport
bar and tried to read the magazine he had just brought
at the kiosk,
but he couldn’t focus, his concentration drifting back to the psychiatric report he’d read of the woman he could have, might have fell in love with.

The psychiatric evaluation was embedded in his mind, word for word and would be
something he believed he would never forget, it read:

“Tanya is 31 years of age and has recently been charged with the murder of three women and the attempted murder of another.  She has been working for the last ten years as a psychosexual therapist for people with transgender or cross dressing issues.

Tanya was born a boy named Richard Dobson
to a single mum. He never knew the identity of his biological father.

His childhood appeared to be one of poverty and he experienced severe physical and emotional abuse from his mother, who died in 1996 in a house fire reported to be arson, but no one was ever arrested or charged with this offence.

Tanya or
Richard
as h
is
birth certificate and medical records read
(and what I will ca
ll him
for the purpose of this report)
was very avoidant when
I
at
tempted to discuss this with him
.

I must add at this point however, that
Richard
appeared to move from one personality to another during our sessions.  Some conversations he spoke and emulated that of a man and in others a woman.

There are ve
ry few medical records for Richard
up until the age of sixteen when he was admitted to a psychiatric unit in London after trying to cut off his penis and almost bleeding to death.  He spent two years in this institution and was diagnosed at t
he time of having a multiple
personality disorder with sociopath tendencies. 

He disclosed
to his psychiatrist Dr. Frederic Burns (report attached) that he felt like a man trapped in a woman’s body.  Dr Burns arranged therapy for him with a transgender
psychologist
, he engaged extremely well in therapy
and he was
subsequently
discharged aged eighteen reported to be safe to return to the community.

He lived as a woman for four years and during this time went to college and then university to study psychotherapy fol
lowed by psychosexual therapy. A
fter three years
in training he was
working on a pl
acement with a transgender service
.

Aged 22
during the summer holidays he flew to Thailand and had a complete gender change operation
.

Richard
has been living and working as a woman ever since under the name of Tanya Wright.

Richard
does not appear to have got
ten
over the dreadful abuse inflicted by his mother who he describes as promiscuous and callous. 

These memories and feelings were resurrected after meeting an ex lover of his mothers Detective
Stephen Roberts
who ironically worked on
the
murder investigations. 

There had been an incident when he was about seven years old where he had walked into the
kitchen wearing no pyjama bottoms, having wet the bed
, and his belief
is
that his
mum’s lover Detective
Roberts
had laughed at his penis,
which
he
had
already
grown to believe
was an abnormality, a protuberance that shouldn’t be there.

This had caused him extreme distress and had also resulted in his mother
hitting him causing a three inch scar still visible today on his forehead and subsequently
locking him in an under stairs cupboard on a weekly
basis for long periods of time, when she had brought men to the house,

In Richard
’s disturbed mind the
women
he killed were comparable to his mother.  H
e
believed that he
could kill two birds with one stone, kill ‘his mother’ over and over again and laugh at the man t
rying to catch him, just like this man (Detective Stephen Roberts)
had laughed at
him all those years ago.

He believes that his role in society is to save the benefit system from future pay outs to single
parents and he also has a magical belief about birth number
s,
his
own
birth number being 326,
this indicates to him that
he was to kill three single mothers, two single people without children, but of childbearing age and six promiscuous men, fortunately he did not get to carry out all of these murders.

My d
iagnosis of Richard
is that he is a sociopath and demonstrates symptoms indicative of a multiple personality disorder,
and narcissistic personality disorder
possibly developed due to the severe abuse experienced in childhood.

My view is that he demonstrates Narcissistic traits
due to the fact that
he sees himself as ‘special’ to complete the work he believes that he has to do.  For example he believes that he helps others by getting rid of ‘vermin’ (women like his mum) and saving the benefit system using magical beliefs about birth numbers.

On the other hand he also demonstrates traits of multiple personality disorder due to his
distinct and separate personalities. He demonstrates an unawareness of each other’s existence. 

The male persona having quite a violent view of the world  and the female persona that has empathy which he has demonstrated in his crimes by suffocating his victims with a pillow,  This makes him different from other serial killers – killing people in a kind way.

Sadly he also demonstrates symptoms indicative of schizophrenia.

My pr
ofessional opinion is that Richard
is not and
was not of sound mind when committing these crimes”

Stephen
felt sick as he ordered his third double
whiskey;
he had been having sex with a transsexual seri
al killer for the last 10
months. 

How would he ever cope with that, he knew it would crucify him for the rest of his life, leave him with the psychological problems his perpetrator had lived with for most of his
life?

He could remember the incident clearly now, his mother was a one night stand, like most of the women in his life at that time, yes he had laughed, laughed at the pyjama top he’d had on and the writing
on it:

‘God gives every bird a worm, but he does not throw it into the nest”

He’d laughed because of ‘the little worm’ hanging down limply below this slogan.

If only he had known that this would have such
an
impact on a child’s life.

But he couldn’t see this creature as a child now, as much as he tried.

After reading the psychiatric report he knew that she, he would not go to prison, that her barrister would claim insanity, she’d go to a psychiatric institution and charm her way out in two years. 

He suddenly stopped
mid thought........
That’s
what she was getting at, in the interview room..........

‘
Roses are red Stephen.......................
’

She was trying to tell him that she would fake
insanity;
she even had the psychiatrist
fooled.

She was having
the last laugh. 

‘
He,
who laughs last
,
laughs longest
.
’

**********

It was time to go to the boarding lounge now, start a new life in Greece, what he was going to do he had no idea but it would be a fresh start where no-one knew him, no one knew what a mess he’d made of his life.

He boarded the plane and smiled at the air stewardess, she smiled back obviously attracted to his manly looks and dazzling eyes.

Life was going to be good now he thought, he
knew it was after all he could feel it in his gut.

AUTHORS NOTE

While writing this book, I was just finishing the fifteenth chapter when my husband called me out the office and said “Hey Linda, come and look at this”.  He
had
the
tele
text
on,
and this is what it said.

“Creativity is often part of a mental illness, with writers particularly susceptible, according to a study of more than a million people.

Writers had a higher risk of anxiety, bi-polar disorders, schizophrenia,
unipolar
depression and substance misuse, the Swedish researchers at the
Karakinska
  Institute
found.”

That’s why you can get inside the mind of a serial killer he teased.

What a load of rubbish I replied.  Because I didn’t write this book................... my alter ego did.

I didn’t like to remind him that he came home from work every evening asking if I’d wrote the next chapter yet as he wanted to read it, so what did that make him.

I sincerely hope that you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it, and if my husband has me sectioned please come and visit me.

I would like to give a big thank you to the people who have supported this new adventure of my life and for their continuous positive feedback. They include:

Elaine
Woolmore
, Ann
Hirst
,
Giulian
a
D
avies, Claire
Kilmurr
y
,
S
h
eilagh
Roxborough
& Julia Quin
n
.

Thank you also to Dr.
Baljit
Mann for her psychological input and alongside
my husband
Michael
David
Mat
her and
my stepson Dr Michael William Mather a big thank you
for proof reading my book and
for
your
valued feedback.

Thank you for buying and reading this book.  I hope you enjoy.